TOP 25 LOUDEST MOMENTS OF 2025 - EP 49 [BONUS EPISODE]

Hey part of fam, I miss you, I love you. I hope you can binge watch all of my two lot the podcast episodes that we've done in the past year, honestly. Like there's a lot, I think it's probably 50 plus episodes. Oh my god. Is this our 50? 49. Why would I leave Sophie? Oh, it's gonna drive me crazy that I didn't do a 50 episode by one on a break. But that's okay. So our first episode back will be episode 50. We've had 50 episodes. We're still babies. I love you guys, and I miss you so much. Bye part fam. Welcome to a My To Allow the podcast. I had such a big plan for my 28th birthday. And for that not to have happened too, I just was not in the best place mentally. But I've been doing such a great work with therapy and like movement and stuff that like, one idea didn't really affect me, but your girl turned 28. I was going to do like a whole cake and like balloons and stuff, but I did that for the vlog. So like go watch my vlog. I think it went up on Sunday. And the vlog I kind of, you know, the little acceleration, I got like an ice cream cake, I sat down, I cheered for myself. And I very much felt very lonely, but I wasn't alone, if that makes sense. Like I think for my 25th birthday, if you guys don't know, I think I was doing like a whole cute thing on Snapchat the other day. For my 25th birthday, I threw like a three day shenanigans bash in DC when I used to live in DC. Like I had X's in town, all mingling. I spent like $25,000 on my 25th birthday. Ooh, I didn't know. I didn't catch that. Oh yeah, no, I wasn't dead. I'm not even a lady or something I never talked about. Like I just thought I had such a big party that I was spending money I didn't have on that party. Like I think that's when I got my Amix card, my platinum card, I just got it I think. And my dumbass decided that it was a really good time for me to, let me just go fast. It just felt like it was a good time for me to spend the money because when I first qualified for the Amix card, the platinum, it gave me unlimited spending. So I was like, oh, a credit card with a limited spending. How much can I spend? I spent $46,000 on my credit card, $46,000 that I did not have then. This was in, yeah. When I was 25, those three years ago, let me spend my day. Okay, yeah, that happened. And it was just really bad. And like the friends who came, my friends who have for the people there anymore, like we're not that close, but it was fun. Like it was a fun time. My 26th birthday, I did a girl's trip to Vegas. That I did not break the bank for. I actually got a brand to pay for that. So I think I worked with the Venetian in Las Vegas. I went to Vegas for my girls. I always wanted to do a girl's Vegas trip. I went on it. I hated Vegas so much, guys, let's talk about it real quick. I don't think Vegas, if you guys don't know, or if you're listening, you're like, what's Vegas? So who's Vegas? Or is Vegas Vegas is Las Vegas Nevada in America? It's a state, like a city in America. In Nevada is the state. Okay, see, that's why I'm not. Go to geography. Yeah, Las Vegas, Nevada, right? And then I just decided like, I just didn't like Vegas. And it was because Vegas is not for black girls. Like I just, it just wasn't for black girls. Like they were very like body conscious. They were very rude. I was working with a hotel themselves and like would go to the club. And they would like not give me my section that I paid for. And they would have like a bunch of white girls and literally walk past me to go into the section that I paid for. There was just a lot of like the music was in gray. People were just drunk and using drugs. Like it just wasn't the vibe. But I brought like six to seven of my friends who like are all really, really cool. And so we just did a girls trip. I always wanted a girls trip. I was like, my 26, I'm gonna do a girls trip. And he actually ended up really well. None of the girls like far or anything. I was just like really sweet. So that was fun. I wouldn't do Vegas ever again. I really only would ever go to Vegas. If I was going to, if I was gonna do like a Beyonce residency or like a Bruno Mars residency, like I'll go for a residency, like a show, I wouldn't go for like the party scene. There was one time with this party called Drea's, Drea's, Drea's something in Vegas. Guys, they said to ENTA was $150 as a girl. Like, because sometimes I'm like, you know, the paycheck he works because as a girl, I love that I don't want to be going to the club. They said, no, but be sure, no, but bitch. Unless you know somebody, I'm gonna pay $150. And boys had to pay 250. We have any boys with us, but I was very annoying. And then we got in and we couldn't sit to get a table with about $10,000. Who is paying that kind of money for what's, as it comes with God? Okay, well God forbid. But you know what I mean. So I didn't like that for 26, but I had a good time. I cried in my birthday though, because like this club just made the entire thing trash. But it was okay. 27 was last year. I was working with American Express. And I got to go on a free All Expense Pay Trip to the four seasons in San Quits and Nevis. That was a fun birthday. It was my first ever solo trip. Like, it was a brand trip because the brand was sponsoring the trip. But I went solo and like, there was no brand person there. I just gave me an American Express, gave me credit and said, go thrive. That was my 27th birthday. Oh wow, I've actually lived life guys. What the heck? So it's like, there was like, you know, I think when I started to remember birthday, I've had like, liars and liars of this stuff. I actually forgot about that. I found out that I got to, you guys sent me a bunch of voice notes for my birthday. First of all, thank you so much. That's really sweet. My team told me about it. And I'm like, okay, we'd love to play some of them. I'm gonna play all the voice notes on the episode, but I'm gonna play some. I'm gonna listen to the rest. And I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who played me voice notes. I love you all very much. I'm just gonna react to them. And yeah. Hey, what's up, Sophie? It's AJ. I know this is for the podcast, but we've found their real life. So it still applies. But anyway, just wanted to say a happy birthday to you. Congratulations on everything and all your success who is continuing to inspire us. You're doing really great. We're all proud of you. And so, make sure you enjoy your day. And I'm looking forward to continue to watch and grow on this new year and onwards. Have a good one. Oh my God. Okay, guys, that's from my friend, AJ. And that's a really sweet episode. What am I watching? That's a really sweet message to start. One of my biggest things about my friends is that they support me heavy, like heavy, heavy, heavy. Especially like AJ. AJ's like a cisgender. And that's an important thing. I was like, this is a cisgender man who has been friends with me for a really long time. And he watches my vlogs, watches the podcast. He listens to the podcast like he's been an avid supporter and like, I love AJ down. Thank you, AJ, for showing me love and loving me and for the sweetest message. He also called me normally because we're friends. Happy birthday, Sophie. I wish you all the best. And I wish you many, many, many more years to come. I see what you're doing out there. You're my main tool. You inspire me a lot. Continue to be the God that you are. Continue to be the true God that you are. Be true to yourself. You inspire a lot and a lot and a lot of young souls. Like me. I'm looking up to you, girl. And yeah, you inspire me a lot. Happy birthday. Thank you for being yourself. Thank you for showing the world that you could be yourself and then you can still succeed. And I'm open to see you one day. And yeah, I'm a big fan of you. I love you. And I wish you all the best. Bye. I'll show the best. See you soon. Bye. What is crazy is... I think most people might have found out about our connection through this damn vlog you posted. Oh, my God. Where she was like, she's going to be a PA for a day in New York for a black creator. And it was people just... I think that video went super viral. And then everyone was like, oh, my God, who is that? And then he was in another video where you talk about me being a big sister. And people were like, oh, you have a sister. Thank you so much. Ver ver nai. I love you. Ver ver nai. I even doing so well online right now. You hit 100,000 on TikTok. You're getting brand new. She was sitting here right now. She got a brand deal like, I'm just so proud of her. First time I texted Sophie was October 5, 2020. And I think she had posted something all about, I don't know, 2019 was a very interesting year for you. As I said, that was a small face. 2019 into 2020 was a very interesting time. So I'm going to read the first message I ever sent to you. And then I'm going to play a voice note that I feel like is the core of this relationship. OK, so... No, guys, I did not want to do that with me. OK, I'm so scared now. OK, so I did the message first. I should have just played a voice note. I should play the voice note. Oh my god, you... Is it your voice? My voice, yeah. OK. Cheer beginning. OK. I found your page, you know, I am 16, 27, next week. But I found your page like last year beginning. And oh my gosh, I was so depressed. I was so depressed. I don't know, I don't know. But I cannot remember the last time I, like, genuinely smiled. And I don't know how I found the page because I never, like, followed. Because I also want to see the story. But your story popped up. And that was when you were trying to do a mega-dustal, there on the Starridge dance. And I smiled for the first time. I was crying. We didn't say anything, Sophie. You were literally just trying to do a dance. And I saw you and I saw your crying and laughing. That's the weight of who you are. Like, that's the... OK, so bye, guys, sorry. That was what I was saying. Like, I spoke so differently a couple years ago. You had that. OK, that's the most interesting. She had such an African immigrant who just came to America accent. Yes. That you get all the time when you're trying to figure it out. That's so adorable. I love you. And come into your own personal way. Me, me, me, me, me. But the background of this was, you were, I think you're going to, like, a couple of things then. But you would always, like, post videos talking about you are not making us proud and you're sorry. And that used to piss me off. And, like, even for, I sent more voice. No, I sent you, like, five or six more that day. Oh, did I respond? Yes, you sent a video. That was, like, that you sent a video. I missed you, guys. Also, someone commented the other day and they were, like, selfie. We really like your voice. Like, you could talk me through it. And I was like, you guys don't want me to talk you through. Wait a second. I've been told, first of all, did you guys know I'm a talker doing sex? I think this is so random. It has nothing to do with this episode. But I am such a talker. Like, I was just talking to my baby the other day and I was like, up. This was a joke that didn't there. And nothing crazy. Oh, why, what did she say? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I said it. And then what? But I was talking to my baby the other day. And we're talking about, I was getting shy because I was reading a book, you know, you guys know what I'm going to love reading my romance novels. And I was talking to them about how I really, really, really, really, really I'm loud during sex. And especially because I tend to be very vocal. Like, everyone I'd kiss, like, I'm just a moner. I'm like, hey, stop, baby. Yeah. Ah. Guys, and I've never been doing it because I don't even know how to fake it. I just, I'm very, I'm just very vocal. The way I gap on the podcast is exactly the way I gap when I am having sex. And I don't know it's not why I'm sharing the information with you where I want you guys to know that. Taylor Frankie Paul is the new bachelor at. If you do know who Taylor Frankie Paul is, let me tell you because I'm nosy, guys. This one has two kids and her and her husband were in a swing-out controversy. You're probably like Sophie. What is a swing-out? Swingers are when couples have sex with each other. Okay, a dream of mine. Moving on. But this is literally what they used to do in the Mormon town that they were at. So she and a group of other moms and wives, and their husbands used to sleep together. And then one time she slept with somebody else's husband but her husband didn't know. And that one's husband didn't know as well. So it was a whole thing. And then she had a mental breakdown. And she was arrested within charges redropped. And then she was back with her husband who was the father of her kids. And then she wasn't back with her husband. But she's sexy. She has a little hair. She's a Mormon wife. It's drama. And there's also a Hulu show called The Secret Life of Mormon wives that they're all on. I'm telling you good. I don't think you guys understand that white women have drama. I feel worried about bodies, okay? Bodies and just the real housewives of Legos. I don't think you've seen drama yet. I don't think you see. Like this is things that like stress me out. Because when I talk about our community, when you're talking about a show where a couple is on there and they used to swing a fucking cha-da we're not playing the same game. We're not playing the same game. Anyways, so she's gonna be the new bachelor at. And I think that's interesting because the bachelor franchise has never done this before. Typically it's people who were formally on the show that then put up to be bachelor or bachelor at. But last bachelor didn't actually do really well. And then the last bachelor at two was okay but wasn't really like anything crazy. I think Hulu is trying to change into a different thing. So she's gonna be the new bachelor at. She has two kids. She was married before. They're divorced now. But she's still in love with her ex husband. But she's gonna be the new bachelor at. And I think that's great TV. And not I'm saying. I'm like, I wonder if I could ever be on reality TV. I don't think I can. Only because I think someone like Taylor Frankie Paul shows you how messy life is. And the internet nowadays I don't think allows people to be messy. Like when I think about Love Island season seven and just lately in the world, everything just has to be perfect. Everything has to be this way. There's no nuance anymore. There's no black and white. It's oftentimes, there's no gray. It's only black and white. It's very strange. Because I know that if I wasn't a reality TV show where I had to talk to men or women, guys, you would hit me. Because I'm messy. I'm dramatic. I lie sometimes. I can't. I can't talk to somebody. I can gossip. So think about this. As someone who lived in New York, I'm not really a fashion girl. So I don't know most of these designers. But the idea is throughout the year, you're like interacting with the designers. You're buying their outfits. So then the designers and their PR houses wouldn't invite you to come to their show. They would dress you up. And then you can go to their show, sit front row, take videos, do all those things. So I've done that twice or three times. My favorite show was Bronx and Banco last year. They dress me. I was front row. It was incredible how to get time this year. By the time you guys had listened to this episode, I would have fashion week would have been over. But I have three shows planned that I'm going to be going to. And I'm sitting with and I'm documenting it with Snapchat. I think one of those shows is dressing me. But there are other fashion creators who like, they have like, we are curing shows that they go for. Like I know Pat Bow, I know Brandon Maxwell and the like. So fashion week is a bit chaotic for sure. But I think if you're an upcoming influencer or a creative, I don't always tell people who aren't in the fashion industry or the makeup and skincare business to come to fashion week. Because I don't think you make money here. And most brands don't pay you to come to fashion week unless they pay you around the activations. For example, Vaseline could pay me to come to an event during fashion week. And I'll post a real about me using Vaseline for fashion week. That's a deal that I can get. Otherwise, for the most part, you don't really get paid. So there are a lot of creators that you see who are going to New York. They're not getting paid. They're spending their own money, dressing themselves for the most part and just hoping to be seen, to be photographed, to mingle with PR people and agency execs, to then be able to be invited maybe next year and the like. It's a great networking event. Oh, why influencers at fashion week, they're like, they're being so this and that and they're destroying it. Fashion week needs to be exclusive right now. Oh, shut the fudge up. It does not. It needs to be more inclusive. No matter what you think, I'm telling you right now. Every fashion show I've been a part of, everyone I've seen, the people in the room don't look like me. Most of the time, if not all the time, there might be five to 10 specs of us dabbed here and there. But for the most part, these photographers are not taking photos of us, but not in those rooms. So there's so much space. We deserve to take up space. And fashion is already not an inclusive community. Like fashion, fashion, the same fashion we're talking about. Now talking about how they don't have a good range of sizes. Fashion where we models on the runway as size zero and two, two might be too thick. That is a fashion with this inclusive. Please. You just talked, you talk about relationship at least 10 times in an hour. And that's crazy. You talk about it. I do not talk about relationships. Your stats have a relationship. I'm telling you a researcher's show, like, I don't know for you, but that's what the proof says. And then for you, and you talk about it at least once a week. So I don't know what that says about both of you, but any of the first thing is never knew I would fall in love on the dance floor. And that was September 12, 2025. That was just very real. You know, wait, you know, okay, let me explain, let me finish my, let me explain the first thing, but I might forget. Explain yourself. It's a song. What was the song? It's a song. But why are we thinking? Why are we choosing about that? It's such a beautiful song. Where were you in the news? And I should put the name of the song. Exactly. Because you know when I met, it was like technically dance flow. Really? Oh, wait, it was. It was, it was. I was like, I was like, oh, I really need to release a lot. Oh, that's adorable. I'm sick of this, guys, because they're both going to be responsible this entire episode now. Like Luke, it's a dance floor. I was like, I guess I was lazy. Yeah. Look, are you sure you got six ideas? Close your mouth. Are you sure of it? No, no, no. No, are you in my mind? Are you sure of reviews? I'm not going to relax though. Okay, and then the next one is, I hope this was March 4th, 2024. Yeah, it's still ending. I hope everyone experiences unconditional love in their lifetime. Do you feel like you've experienced that before? For my mom, yes, I'm from God. Really? Do you think you're ever going to find unconditional love? Yeah, I think I'm working towards it. Oh, in this storm. That's what you think. You guys also discuss it with you. Okay. And then Justin, I have to sit through like, again, 50,000 fucking tweets. But what I say that was like March, 2024? Yeah. I remember that tweet. Yeah. Why do you remember his tweets from March, 2024? Because you don't release a lot of them. Yeah, it doesn't treat the Lord. So when you do it, it's very impactful. Yeah, and this is a good friend. If you get more people, it will. Okay, guys, Justin's famous tweets. Justin, you said May 15th, 2024. And I know this for a fact that you weren't in this situation then. So this is very sad for me to say out loud. But you said, I owe you people a relationship before the end of the year. Did that happen for you in 2024? Did it really? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Did it really? Was it 2024? No. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Was that a motion? This is so confusing. This is so confusing. Oh, yeah, guys, we're friends. This is very confusing. But yeah, yeah, yeah. Justin wasn't a relationship at the end of 2010. I remember that. That was interesting. That Nigeria trick was nuts. It was crazy. It was like, I just feel bad for him. But the big wasn't there. Yeah, it was suffering. Very sorry. Justin, it's a very loyal man. I feel like I have really good men around me, guys. Again, that's why I took a lot of bologna people in my life. Because you guys are really irresponsible-ish. When we are down. When you're down, you're down. But when you're not down, you're as she was. And as she was for anyone, it's like, hose. For no, I would think that. Yeah, true, I would think that too. Yeah, yeah. Like, I think that's why we bombed it, honestly. It was like, oh, I see mutual as she was. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. All right. But no, I shall just chat nice. Oh, yeah, of course. It's like a mutual thing. Yeah, but we just once idea, we're just once idea. The actual ship is confused. It is. No, I wouldn't. I thought it was over here. That's true. Yeah, mine is like a global assailant. Yeah, we were. We just open up. We just open up our countries. OK. Continent, thank you. We just signed the episode. It's so much more. I'll open my mouth. I said, quarterly. All right, so Justin was a tweet that someone said that says, do you think social media is running relationships? And he said, yes. This was in 2023. And then he said, you ought to invest it in recreating all that people's relationships on here. Forgetting that everyone is different. Posting unnecessary pressure on yourself, your brain, and your potential partner, proceed with your play. And then any of you in the busts, goods, mine. He responded to that too, Dresden. Said, oh, Justin don't see Shiggy. Because he does. Right. I want both of us, Justin has suffered. But I will say this. And this is something that I feel bad about saying. I'm going to share it anyways. I was telling someone the story about Justin's life and saga. And he said, somebody about my life. Did you tell the name or you just said, I have a friend? No, I said Justin. I'm sure that was it. He replied, you're fine. I'm sure that was Instagram. You does the problem. You love bomb. And then I don't love bomb. What do you do? I just naturally find it. Love explosion. It's not really bad. It's not really. Yeah. I've seen what Justin is capable of. And for me, that was a lot. But then, it's not a lot of bomb. What is it? Like you said that was a lot? Like the first month, you already did something like, I was like, Justin, yeah, you love it lots. That's like a problem now. Like, as far as genuine, like, you know, you know, you know, that's the, that the, when, wasn't when I was a player, that the, you know, that's like one of our reasons. That was I should like always feel like, like, yeah, which, which one when you are deployed? When you're not as deployed. What's going on now? This was before you moved to feeling that you were like, that she came to your cause you get it was a long distance. It's now came and then I should have said it. And I can't remember. You remember that she did what I go, that's like, I was like, I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what it told you? That's what you told me. Imagine you love me so much. I'm forgetting to love you. I bought me the present. No, but that's the thing that I don't love bomb. What do you do? So can I say that Justin has made a whole website for someone before about their love? And I was, I was closer. He also dating, how close are we dating? A relationship then? No, no, no. It was the Oscar for our first date. I mean, it's pretty. No, no, no, no. You're crazy. Crazy. Crazy website. You guys see what we mean? Now you create a whole website to ask someone. So she opened our computer and she's like surfing. How did you send the artisan there? How did I send it? Yeah. I just bought a domain now. I bought a domain and I did the websites. I touched the domain to the websites. And I just sent her the link to ask for the first date. Yeah, that's the, I don't see. What do you do for the second date then? What do you do for the second date? I just asked her. I mean, the first date now, it has to be special. But I feel like if you do that for the first one, you have to consider that forever. Yeah, but it doesn't mean I stopped being creative. So I'm too creative. It was the most creative thing you've done besides the website. And then I'm going to ask you the same thing. So think about it. I know you're trying. No, I don't know. It was this guy that gave it up. It was from his flipbook. Really? Yes. What did you do? I think go fetched. I've done a custom storybook. OK, that's the same playbook. You want? She asked if there's a book. I want. No. It's f***ing mean, him, and Isaac. Isaac is our friend, like we do. So the only reason why we have that book, is because we live together. Yeah, that's the only sense. Who is that, too? Yeah. Yeah, we don't really, I don't know. Proud jokes. And she really funny in that chat. It's really not. Yeah, mostly about life. That's right. I feel like you are the only comic relief. Oh, god. Do you think I'm funny? No, we think you are. No, like the relief. You yourself as a person. At the comic relief. Maybe because maybe like, I don't want to say it to be honest. But if I think about it, maybe somebody else is looking at it, they'll be like, oh, like your life is a joke. So like, that's a joke. That's you. But that's you. Like you'll be the joke in our life. I don't know. I swear to you, I don't know. I feel about the statement. But I'm going to keep moving. Just like about Sophie on the street, which is like fire and stuff. I'm going to explain what that is. So I don't think I'm going to set that to the podcast. And I'm going to talk about the stuff you guys are going on. Because again, I said, they have a lot going on. So I just launched Sophie on the street, which is like an interview series where I'm trying to make strangers overshare. So I'm just going to be on the streets anywhere and everywhere in the world from New York fashion week to Tokyo, to Nigeria, to South Africa. Anywhere you see me, you see a mic, you see me on the streets, getting to know people, having fun, learning fun things. And I just feel like it was a way to get more people involved in my trajectory in my career. And I also host and do a lot more stuff. That was the easy, like, I saw that then I was like, yeah, that's smart. Right? Thank you, guys. I'm really proud of it. And as I was literally doing more research about my friends, I saw that Justin finally posted on Twitter. You've been posting here and there. But we've posted a tweet today about getting a more app and two of our dating. Thank you. Why did you forget? Why are you looking at me like, what are you doing? I posted a tweet app. I posted. But you posted about my moral apps. To tell us what my moral app is and what two of our dating is, too. So I said we told our dating. So two of our dating is a dating app. Is it dating a networking app for professional, African professionals in the diaspora? So like people like us, lawyers, creatives, both. Yeah, it's kind of both. Yeah. But lawyers, you know, doctors, all that stuff. And I just, so you're not on Tinder, looting for like your next hookup, you're actually looting for something. Probably like it's like career. Yeah, you know, you know, I'm talking to a doctor. He's like at this level in his life, everything is working out. That's the only thing he's. But it's not dating. He was like, date to date now. Actually, so you just think what he's like to make it? Yeah. Oh wow. I've always thought LinkedIn, like very interesting dating, though, can't lie. Yeah, you see, you see, you see, you see, you're going there. So when you know, is it like a friendly, friendly environment? I feel what you mean. And the memory app is a, is a meme app, because one day I was, I was looking for a meme, I couldn't find it. I was like, why is there no one place where all these memes are, you can't just go there, set your way to find it. So that's what, that's what I'm building. I love that. But you guys, both of you also have something called shut up and dance, which I think is one of the best parties in the world. And the best name. The best name in the world is because honestly, with the way parts of the culture I started moving lately, I feel like nobody wants to fucking dance anymore in clubs at the bars. I have a hot take, or I don't think it's a hot take anymore, because I feel like I've been seeing it around, that since club culture became a thing, I mean club culture has a like, bottle, section, hookah, hookah, shisha, especially. Once you have, you had that in place, especially in cities like DC, nobody's dancing and everybody's hoping I'm hoping the shisha on the table, because I, you, because who's tip is that? Who took my tip, who did not take my tip? When is the extra tip coming? Who is paying for the buses, the men? Who cannot afford to pay rent? I'm going to be sitting there borrowing and sharing with their friends. So, we got our four to pay $1,000 a lot, both two. I was standing there and I green and texting each other and saying, Bruce, what is your answer on there? Bruce, Bruce wants to go and buy his Bruce. Are you okay? Bruce wants to come and team up this side. How are you dancing? I see it too close to him. Yeah, it's very good. How are you dancing? You got stressed out about the fucking section that you cannot afford, but you want to be there every fucking weekend. That's the day I'm sorry. Friday's Thursday nights to Sunday, fucking evening. You're at the fucking section with your boys. You guys are sharing the money, $300 every day, every fucking week. It's becoming super. Yeah. We're going into details. My other just mentioned names. It's just a me, mentioned names. You guys don't feel like that? I mean, that's why we started the show. Yeah, I kind of love that you guys don't have sections. Like you do a little bit more. It's for like the point of the party. There's always like a big party dance space where everybody's just dancing. And you guys are dancing as yourselves. You're oblique warriors and what's it on? Like work warriors, I don't know. You always float in your legs. I always love it. Yeah, I always want it. But you're always like, your energy is a vibe. But it won't stay in sync. The music is A1. So I enjoyed that. I'm going to show the band dance. You know what? I feel like, and this is not like, if you were not my friend, every time we've come to our party, she respects that show the band dance. Like, so we respect the show the whole time. Like, you're doing with Salad to me. You don't need to tell us all that. That was a hunch. Oh, she's doing what dance that I have to follow. Can I just tell you all something? So I mean, both of them have zero emotional, I mean, sexual relationship, nothing like that. They're like literally like, they're not there. No, they're really shut up. I don't like it for me. They're like, no, I just want to make it clear because you people have been in the home girl comments before it's a good thing, right? So those one time I wanted that first party ever, and they had a bunch of girls around them. When I tell you the girl is always going to fucking fight me every time. And all I do is mind my fucking business and shut up on dance. And so every time now, we should guys, I have to ask them personally, who's your baby? Who's your baby? Then we go, I miss the baby, say hello, say hi. I'm only here for a good time, and I leave. Why is that, boys? Why do you always have people around you? What's going on? I don't want to. I'm sure. So it was one time I came to a party and they were like, oh, that one's just in zone. That one's just in zone. That one's just in zone two. Which part is that? All of them. This is that. This is a crazy artificial here. I really enjoy it though. I mean, most of them is for myself. One of my audience, Y'all mean that. Why? They don't have five boys necessarily. So what do you think the thing is? Wait, what is going on? What is going on? What is going on? What is going on? What is going on? What is going on? Okay. I'm telling you. I mean, I'm telling you. I'm telling you. I mean, I'm telling you. What are you guys? They do. They do. I'm going to tell you like, well, five nine. No. I was not like, I mean, the most greatest you've given me. I'm just five two. No, I'm joking. I'm six two. You're six two? Yeah. Well, you're taller. Yeah, I'm quite tall. No one, no one, no one, no one. I feel that. It's five nine, tall to you. In my head, you register that at six nine. Wait, that's my favorite number. Moving on. Okay. But yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. It's usually women just be around. And we met. I don't know if you guys want to be partying because I don't have a lot of guy friends like that. So like, I'm just saying. Yeah. After Justin and his silence and Isaac. That's just like four boys. Do you have a lot of guy friends? No. Okay. Now I have like some research that I'm thinking because I'm realizing that I'm usually friends with guys who don't have a lot of guy friends. Like you guys have a lot more feminine as a phenomenon. You guys have a lot of more feminine. I want to say traits, but like you guys like women. No, as a shadow's boss, like people, like you respect women at your court. Like you like women. You don't want to use them as booty calls. You do sometimes. Sometimes. And I've seen you be hoes for real for real. Like I share wool pro mocks. Like, what's on Barrow. It's happening. Okay. It's cool. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. But I also see you guys like treat women like respect, like respectfully. Like you're not necessarily like only with them because you want to get something out of them. So I want to comment on that. Oh, thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you very much. Would you guys say you're a feminist? What's the definition of these days? Because I'm a feminist. I think someone who believes in the equality and equity of men and women. Yeah. And everybody. I mean, that should be everybody. That's what I raise them right guys. That's what the anti and her boys. Okay. Because human beings are a lot more terrified of the unknown, right? We sort of have this removed idea of what we want to know. I even means a very terrified of not knowing stuff. I don't know why it's a different thing. I think organized religion gives people a safe space to sort of at least have an idea. Right. It's like whenever you're a kid and you want to touch fire. And your parents tell you, oh, if you touch that fire, you will get burned, right? It's the same way with like religion. Oh, if you follow these steps, this would happen to you. This would not happen to you. That's kind of the idea behind organized religion for the most part, right? And I'm speaking about this, not from an atheist perspective, but from a very like spiritual. I just want to be open and open to learn because it is absurd to me that as human beings, our belief system blocks our perspectives in such a ridiculous way. Like, even if I was super religious, I still don't think at my core, I would be the kind of person who is so closed off to the idea of another, whether that's in another religion or another person or something that's outside of my belief system, because everything we do is around belief. Okay, I'm going down the tangent. We did organized religion will truly always be the reason for the worst atrocities in the world. Now, let's also talk about the fact that like I'm tweeting. I'm on X now. So if you guys don't know, X was actually the first app that I went viral on. And I don't even know if it's safe to say what I'm about to say because I don't want it's to come back up. But I feel like I will, especially in light of a lot of things have gone on. In my life, I've told the story and in that story, I've shared how I was sexually harassed or slashed assaulted during my time in school and over the over a few years even. And I've shared that and there's a lot of things about myself I am learning. Okay, and one of those is the impact that that has had on me and who I am as a person. My heart is beating so fast, I'm talking about this. But anyways, I'm bringing that up in a way to talk about my love hate relationship with X aka Twitter. I hate that app. And I think it's because with social media with TikTok and Instagram, the video heavy component of those platforms allows people to think before they speak. They still don't think enough because when you hear those eight trains happening, they still don't think enough. But there's a level of, oh, I can come on here and say my heart take. So people might agree with it. No, I agree. Some people can deactivate their account. You never hear from them again. Because of this idea of you're being seen. Like it's literally you having to put up your phone and record. That is pretty scary, right? Compared to a tortas slash X where people can hide behind their keyboard. That's where some of the worst places on the internet, places where you don't need a profile picture, you don't need anything, you just need your hands and a keyboard that you can type in text. That's why I don't like Twitter X. So in this particular situation, I left Twitter, I think, for about two years or a year and a half when it just got a bit too much. One of the reasons why, and I feel like I've never addressed this before, but I will, is I was accused of being a RAPE apologist. Which is absurd to me as somebody who is an RAPE survivor. I don't want to use the word victim, but we are victims, essentially, too. The point is I remember reading my name associated with that word and with regards to a mutual of mine who was accused of doing RAPE. And I remember reading those comments and he wasn't getting dragged. I'm going to talk about this, but I was. People were like, oh, I knew Audity was fake. It felt like there was finally a reason for people to hate online. And so that's why I left Twitter. But I came back because I realized that women oftentimes get the brunt of situations like this. Women are oftentimes the sole survivors. The sole panel, because everyone knows that's the way to phrase it. But women are the ones who oftentimes get that sort of energy unlike the men in that situation. Imagine a man being accused of something. And instead of you spending all your energy into saying, F that man, F what he did, your energy is to type out a list of women. Who you think might be associated with him and then start dragging them through the mud. How dare they be associated with a man if they did not know this was what this asshole was doing. Because I promise you there are a lot of people who I know as mutuals who are probably heroin with people but I would never know because they're just so good at hiding it. And this was going to say, I didn't even know the fucking man. Like it was just a mutual like somebody of a friend of a friend of a friend's friend who has seen randomly. A few times and we follow each other on Instagram. Anyways, that's the long winded story of me and my love hate relationship with social media, especially once that arm video heavy. I say all that to say I tweeted something about organized religion around the Trump wanting to come into Nigeria Christian nationalism issue. Which again, we'll talk about in this episode. Guys, there's so much to talk about. I feel like I just want to, there's so much just like, I don't feel like it's just we need to have like a word for it. Let's figure it out in the comments. Like what is the word for what we have going on between us right now? Like what is that word? What can we call it? Because it needs to be called something. Because there's so many things I see I can't wait to talk the part from about this. Because we are mad. Okay, so I said organized religion would truly always be the reason for the worst atrocities in the world. And someone said, practice your organized religion in peace and leave us in an organized one in peace, my dear. And I said, let me figure out you guys in peace. Okay. And I wanted to understand that this episode isn't entirely anti-faith. It is not anti-faith. It's a conversation essentially about like institutions, about power, about belief systems, about manipulation, about control, and about lived experiences. I don't think if the one thing I want you to get out of my podcast episodes, if anything is that control, control, control is the one thing you should never let go of. The one thing as a human, you have one life. You better be in fucking control of it. You get one life to live. You better be in control of it. And I don't think we understand or maybe we just underestimate how many factors are trying to pull at our control. Because if you're not in control of yourself, somebody else is and that person has the power to do anything they want. And I see that when I think of colonization and how much of a weapon it was in the minds of black people. Like control is a fucking drug. Being in control of literal human beings. Human beings. Being in control of you, like you can say five of you are dead, two of you are alive. One of you go married this person and have said, you can do that to people who have thought, who are brain, who have blood, who have... Do you guys know how much of a fucking mind? I don't even want to get started because that's a whole different conversation. Okay, so let's talk about it. And I feel like this tweet from Larry Madoel is the perfect response to that. He says, President Trump claims there's a mass load of Christians in Nigeria and it's going to send you as troops. But unlike white South Africans, it didn't create a refugee path for Nigerian Christians to move to America. And that to me was exactly what came into my mind. When I saw his tweet, because I remember thinking, oh, if this was really a thing, I'm trying to pick my works carefully, because I exist in both worlds, if you know you know. And... Am I too loud if I say that propaganda is a real thing? Am I too loud if I say that religion is the best way to control Africans, especially on the continent? They came to you, you had your religion, you had your tribes, you had your people. And then white people came and they said, okay, fuck our thing, we should follow your God, we should follow your rules, we should follow everything you do because you have to have more sense than us. Right, right, wrong, wrong, wrong guys. That's not how life should work. You people matatou, like the unconscious way Nigerian decided to put themselves lower than America and the West by saying, oh, yes, you're right. You guys have it all figured out, please come and help us figure it out. Why are they the ones having to help us figure it out? Who is President Trump in this situation to come and tell you that your country deserves to be saved by who? For what? Untweeted and said Nigerians are a conundrum. Highly intelligence in one hand, yet so stupid it leaves you speechless. And then my friend Shayo of Shayo says the podcast says they're indoctrinated. Intelligence is no match for indoctrination. Inductionation overrides intelligence, rejecting critical thinking for dogmata, replacing nationality, replacing rationality with intellectual dishonesty. Inductionation makes a joke of intelligence. It suspends and undermines it. She just always says it perfectly. I don't know how she does it, but I'm always going to be a fan. And that's exactly why I think it's important to clarify that there's a clear distinction between faith versus religion versus institutions. And I think America is currently facing that battle right now with the rise of Christian nationalism and across the world in general. Because we've all been there when the crusades happen, the jihad movement, the alleged operas in so many places around the world around religion being used as the weapon as a story to tell people this is your birthright. This is what you need to be going. This is what you need to do. And I will say this is something that I think makes me feel like I'm a bit too loud to say this, but in that country of over 200 million people, I am not saying there is no unrest. I am not saying that at all. Please understand I am not saying that at all. But if you are telling me there are 50,000, maybe 30,000, 20,000 dead bodies of Christians. Where? Where? And I think as Nigerians, and I fall, I fall on the same, I fall in the same category of the dogmata of the fear mongering of the north. This uninhabited archaic, not intelligent, not folks who don't have knowledge like that group of people, they're there. And I tell you this because every propaganda tool is very easy. It's the fear of the unknown. That's it. If you are looking at me right now, thinking, oh, I'm so scared of this. It's probably because you don't understand it. You don't know it. Because if you did, then I don't think these kind of conversations would need to be had, especially in Nigeria, because most of who don't travel to the north, it seems like this far away place. They don't understand what the Northern is saying or speaking. They see the way colonization worked in Nigeria, it really much splits us up. Ebo folks is like the business owners and you hear people say you're about people are the ones who took over Lagos, and then you have people who are the northern people who are the ones who just stuck to Sharia law and jihadism. And yes, to that breakdown, but also yes to the fact that because now you're so close off to what the north looks like to who the north and the north are. Any sort of any. You'll just take in anything. You'll just take in anything. And I am not saying there is not a crucifixion of Christians happening in the north. I'm not saying there's no Christian Muslims happening in the north. In fact, there's some stupid things that come out of the north that I go, what the fuck this needs to stop happening. But I don't think the response to that is a foreign government coming into your country and telling you what to do. And now if your government is not responsive and it's not responding as fast as you would want to change your fucking government. I feel like we underestimate the power of a people just having had enough. We've not had enough in Nigeria. I don't think we've had enough because if we've truly had enough, and I feel like the conversations would be different because the amount of tweets and comments I saw saying, Oh, thank you President Trump. Come save us. Come save you are living your lucky face one apartment in the island. You never go on past Lagos. Come save you. Some of you people who have actually never even left your own home. You've never been seen struggle or suffering. You're talking come save us and Twitter fingers and TikTok fingers. Guys, anyways, I just I feel frustration because we've never seen foreign intervention work. And if you have please, please, I would love to, I would love to learn more and see in what capacity that happened because I just don't think for an intervention works because for an intervention means that whoever is intervening understands local politics, local experience and is able to properly guarantee that that is still going to remain intact. And most of the times it can't. Like we see that happen in the case of Israel and Palestine right now. We see that happen in case of Ukraine and Russia. Like we see that happen everywhere, even the UN. Aid is a billion dollar industry. Okay, so I just was recording a podcast, a movie C bar and it was the commercial was 50 50 and it was whether or not in relationship, you do 50 50. And my own arguments was in the Nigeria that we live in, you will say a woman should know the 50 because you want to be the provider, but woman is working for herself. You say, oh, she's on a show because she's doing all this thing. And this is where the guy in the room now said, yes, that imagine me asking woman in the day. And she's asking me to get that Uber. That what would I do that? That means she's cheap. And I said, how does that make any sense? If you're toasting somebody and it said because she should have her own money to pay, but it wants to be 100% to provide that will not provide for that. So what I'm going into is the fact that I didn't realize this, but three of us in this room are pretty independence people. Yeah. And we're very much feminists and we're women who don't sleep out with the top. And most of us are bad things because hashtag women in Paramez. I said, do whatever you want to do. I said, go check. I love them lighting. They will have lighting. I could, guys. Let me talk about this to you. Let me on now. You follow me. Because it was that easy. It was easy to be. I'm telling you, the amount of money I could be making on only fans right now for me to make my head is a law. Only fans. Only fans. I'm serious. I don't want to record it. Take me there. I want to go there. Only fans. Only fans. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. Do you think so? So you guys would never do anything like sexual for money? Eh? I feel like we'll get the best to respond to that. Like I said, if I could, if I could, I would. No. No, you wouldn't. No, you wouldn't. I'm just saying that. Or if the opportunity presents itself, I'm going to run because I'm deeply entrenched into the culture and values that I've been instilled in. Yeah. That's true. I didn't ask for it. It just is the same. It's completely entrenched. So there are things that, as much as I say that I'm an open minded person, open to five years ago, I wasn't open minded. So I had to, I had to. Things have to happen to me to be open minded. And even in my open mindedness, I've seen people that are more open minded than me. That way they don't say ah. But it's a process. Yeah. It took me over 20 years. So hard. It can't take me five years to undo or undo years. So there are things that I see. And I'm still like, ah, no, I can't do. But I want to. But I can't because I feel like all society, society, society. That's true. Values are different. Values are very different. Like our values are like values versus society's values. No, the values that we grew up with. You cannot leave it entirely. That's true. That's true. That's true. So moving on. You need to move in my eyes. That's true. You need to move in my eyes. You need to move in my eyes. No. So. Let me tell you. I had to. I had to do it too. Now, if I talk to people, I say, on the scale of say them just so long. Where are you? I am. Say them being top. And so, yeah. Yes. So talk to me. If you're not anywhere close to say them, please just leave me. Leave. That's about who is the so-called machine? Ah, tall. Honestly, that's a great question because in their ensues, Sarah's the audience was the same, who's the American. He used to be a feminist. We've changed. We've changed. We've changed. Where has it changed? All right. Marid. No Marid. He just takes a very scary and very just, I think I don't know. He's been a feminist, you know, I know it was something turned on the woman, but he knows all his world, he's well-beauty man, he's like God, they help you in Jesus' movement and I wish you great success in going deathless. Marid was sent down. On what be your opinion, I don't think you need to wish your enemies the good. Oh, I mean, it's, I'm like, you don't have to say that. I feel more alive when I'm in Lagos, like I feel like my, even though yes, there's a lot of things that are crazy, but I feel more alive. Like, and the trade off for me is, you know, in America, when you drop out, you're thinking about financial world most of you, I didn't make all this money. I'm able to take care of my family, my friends, all those things. And then you realize that they're different types of wealth, right? There's definitely financial wealth. There's mental wealth. There's physical wealth. There is social wealth, which is community wealth, you know, and even spiritual wealth. And then I remember just realizing, like, if I keep making the choice, which I really made for the past 17 years of being in America anyway of financial world, I was like, something is missing. There's a void. I don't know how to articulate it. I don't know how to speak to it. And I also know when I bring it up to people who are just like from us, they're like, wait, I remember when I told them, like, hey, I might be spending more time in Nigeria. I'm moving back my family, my aunties. They're like, I give you a fugitive. I didn't look before you. I didn't look before you. And you can't tell us like, this is what it is to help you. I was like, no, like I'm actually making this move, you know? And to be honest, it's been such a great move so far. I think you take the first day to settle in on a standing environment. And then the next year, it was us like launching the podcast. And really understanding what value can we add to, you know, to country and not from a place of like, oh, we are better than you. It's just saying like, look, we have certain experience. We have gone outside, seen things. We've been exposed to certain things. We're not saying all those things are better than here. We're just saying, this is the perspective that we have and we're sharing. If you can learn something from it, even better. And especially from the world that's changing right now for a lot of us, is America was seen as this like global power and that's shifting in a way, right? That's power shifting in a way that the passport is not as strong as it used to be. Or even Canada or Russia, any of these bigger countries and wealth is at home for us now. Like there's so much beauty and chaos and intelligence and amazing. That's not all the great things that could be in Nigeria and Lagos and Abu Jain and all the states. But there's also a factor of his home welcoming for these investments for this space. So as an African, especially as an Nigerian too, what does it feel or look like to have home in two places? Because I know for both of you, home is also America. Like we choose to go back and visit. What is that welcome like for both of you? I check out especially for you because home, it really is America in a lot of ways. And you found home here. I think one of the biggest culture shocks for me coming back is I'm having to start over. And I know you've mentioned like making new friends. But I feel so American like when I took, I'm like, what's going on with me like, what am I speaking this way? But spending 10 years in a different country and you're not going there to the next place, it's like different if Nigeria is like the UK six hour flight, boom, boom, I'm back. Sometimes it's nine, 15 hours, two day journeys to get here. So how is it to how are you very intentional about making home in these two places? Yeah, it's interesting because I had to let go of what it means to live life, right? I think in America, I'll be very honest. America is a very good way of making it seem like this is the only way to live. This is the only way to talk. This is the only way to interact with people. This is the only way how business is done. This is the only way life is happening, right? And I feel like when I first came back to Nigeria, I kept holding on to this American side. I'll note like this, it's little things, little things like I remember, there was this place I used to go to to get like yogurt. And I remember they put like grapes, they put like weird things in it. And I remember just being like, that's not how they do it in America. So I remember like, they're like, why, why are they putting those things? And they're like, no, that's how we do it. And my mind, I remember I had to keep reminding myself, but this is what I grew up in America. I had to let that go. I still have my moments. Oh, definitely. And she's always like, she got what's good. I saw my very American ways of living. But I think the moment I let that go, and I said, okay, I'm going to adopt to how Nigeria is doing, how we dress, how we talk, how we connect with people. And that's how I started to settle into enjoying it. I'm putting up in America. I'll be honest. America, a lot of people in the rotten race. I know what I mean. Yeah. Right? Number one, when I decide to have a child, right, I'm going to be honest, a lot of my friends, they're suffering because child care is expensive. It's hard to have balance. I like, I tell people all the time, the thing for me for Nigeria. And of course, there's a lot of issues with women issues here. So I'm not going to stay here and act like I know I'm standing from privilege on here. I want to make that very clear. But I always tell people that in Nigeria, I can be a full woman, right? There's, I don't have a child in all of a sudden. I'm just a mother. And I feel like in America, it's hard because it's expensive. It's hard to get care. It's hard to get. It's not communal. That's the moment you have a child or children, you're now in mother for 18 years. Yeah. And then, and then it's exactly exactly. And then once they enter 54 40, they're like, OK, now I can live my life as a woman. I don't want that, I don't want to choose. I don't want to get canceled for this. But I might too a lot if I tell you that Nigeria is just not relaxing. Like Nigeria doesn't feel like fun. Nigeria doesn't feel like it's home for me. But I might too a lot if I say that Nigeria is, it's not as nice as most countries in the African continent. I'm not that don't stop. Let me explain. Let me explain. Let me explain. OK, I think I put my shoes on like that. So you can't drag me but my head on my eyes. OK, let me explain. Let me explain. Let me explain what I mean to that. OK, so I've not been to a lot of African countries. I'll give you that. I've been to Togo, Qutonu, Ghana. And then that's it. So I don't feel like it's a lot. So maybe I'm not the best person to speak on this matter. However, what I would like to say is the biggest issue Nigeria has is there's a lot of talents that is not fostered by the government. And so because of that lot of talents, you have really, really cool shit going on in this country. But it's not maintained probably. It's people are frustrated out of their success. People are angry. The government is shitty. And it just makes the environment feel charged. Like Nigeria feels like a charged space. That's exactly the way to explain it. So let me tell you how this works. I've flown back in back home. I don't want to say I'm not lucky. But I am not as lucky to have a family home in Nigeria to come back home to, meaning my mom and my brother and I. Like we do have a house where it's deep, deep, deep. And it's not convenient location. So first of all, that means I need to find an Airbnb. In Nigeria, to get an Airbnb was going to cost me $5,000. Fucking dollars, bro. $5,000 American dollars. Am I going to stay in the White House? And I swear to you, yes, it was going to be for like three to four weeks. Maybe I can argue that makes sense. But in what world should it cost me $5,000 American dollars to stay in an Airbnb in Lagos fucking Nigeria? How? How does that make any sense at all? So first of all, I'm dealing with that. Let me start from there. Let me start from something as simple as the airport when you come in, right? So you land on the airport. This is how this is how for anyone who's interested in going to Nigeria, this is how it works. You land on the airport. If you are coming by yourself and you don't know anyone, it's already a shit show for you. Because you go in, immigration is stressing you out. People are already dragging you left and right, asking you for the most mundane things, asking you for bribes, for money, all that stuff. Now, because of this issue, now I'm getting round up. Now I'm getting upset. Because in a normal functioning fucking country, guys, if you're not listening to this, if you're listening to saying you're not in Nigeria, then you might think this is a really advanced to have. But honestly, this is going to be a very Nigerian episode because I'm in Nigeria right now and I'm in Nigeria and I want to rant about this moving on. Your girl has been dragged a lot, okay? On Twitter, online, about my comments about Nigeria, I am not taking any comments back, okay? I refuse to take any freaking comments back. But what I will do is realize as I was editing the clips from my episode from last week that, I definitely was very negative in that episode, but I think it came from a place of frustration. And what I mean by that is, if you live in New York City, because I live in New York, and if you live in New York, you realize that New York is not all that it cracks up to be. Like, New York is so pretty and so gorgeous and it's where dreams are made of and everybody's so happy. But it's overpriced, they're rats everywhere, the subway smells, the subway delays. People look poor, I love people on Fetanel, people get stabbed, people get slapped. JFK is a terrible airport. There's just a lot that you realize about New York, that it's not all that it cracks up to be. That is exactly how Lagos is to me too. Like, Lagos is very much in New York, right? It's still very amazing. If you want to have a good time in Lagos, you would, there's special places here. But again, if you want to, you would also struggle a little bit because Lagos also has not rats necessarily, but Lagos is also chaotic, it's a lot of stress. It's really just like putting a fake facade over the chaos as well that happens here. I'd actually usually say like, New York is organized chaos and Lagos is just chaos. Like, that's just what it feels like here. I say all that to say in my last episode, there's a lot of flag that I got because it came off as this entitled, American who's visiting Nigeria and has nothing good to say. First of all, I'm not an American. That shit straight, please. I'm Nigerian just like you, I might not live in the country full time, but I'm still Nigerian. I have Nigerian blood running through my veins. I don't care about my body, I don't care what I'm doing, I'm not going to live in the country, I'm going to live in the country, I'm not going to live in the country, I'm not going to live in the country, I'm going to live in the country, okay? I'm from Washington State, Nigeria. Like, I left because my mom needed a better place for me. I left Nigeria because I don't think you'll understand how deep this issue goes. I left Nigeria because I was going to law school to be a lawyer at home. My mom didn't want me to travel out, we could not afford to travel out, but I was raped in a university in Nigeria, and my peers told me, oh, it happens. That was why I left the country. I said enough is enough. I'm not saying that doesn't happen everywhere else. But I'm saying at some point, the lack of accountability here, the percentage of how much it affects a lot of young women here, you just feel defeated. That's essentially what it is. You feel defeated. And I think in that episode, I felt really, really defeated. I got posted on Twitter talking about the episode, and of course, the comments, especially from the men were hilarious, because people just don't like to be called out. There's this full, I read it in the comments, so you guys understand it. It seems your channel is dedicated to Bashin Niger for the entertainment of your haters. Okay. How long are you going to continue to do this? How long have you lived in America to be this naughty towards your own country? Do you understand the level of hatred towards black people in general in America? Last year, a little more than 24,000 people were killed in America due to gun violence. I don't hear you talking about that. I don't hear you talk about the homelessness and crime in America. What does it have to be negativity towards your own country and all your videos? You allow other African countries who hate your country to come on here and pal on Nigeria. While they cannot even talk about the horrendous things going on in their own country, stop the insanity. Oh, shut up. You know, as people who are like, why are you complaining that you're bleeding? What means I'm bleeding? What? What's bleeding? You're no wrong. Like, my team sent that comment to me, and they're like, guys, the people actually like watching what's going on. Like, what's going on with this episode? They were a bit worried for my response. And every time I get comments like this, I tend to think, every time I get comments like this, I tend to laugh because, first of all, you cannot bully me out of my opinions. And second of all, everything you said there is valid. What is happening in Nigeria is happening in Nigeria. What is happening in America? It's also happening in America. Two things can happen at once. Three things can happen at once. Or else, things can be happening in Sudan and Congo and Nigeria. I can speak about Nigeria because I'm in Nigeria currently. Tomorrow, I can speak about Congo because I am not speaking about Congo and America and go on violence in this moment. That's what I mean, I don't speak about it. That's what I mean, I would never speak about it. That's not how that works. Did you guys see the backlash about first of, you know what? Then we relax. Let me not yell yet. So first of all, Injuries becomes the first pro athlete to walk a Victoria Seeker fashion show. The Victoria Seeker fashion show is back for year two. They did the one last year. I was not invited to that one. They did the one this year. I was not invited to that one at all. Am I hurt? No. I am not hurt at all. I am not in pain at all. Am I hurt? No. Yes, I am. But I was falling along a little bit and Angel Reese is an incredible women's basketball player. If you don't know who she is, she's freaking fantastic. And she, I think is the first ever pro athletes to walk in the show. And of course, the racists were like, oh, she has, like she doesn't have an unattainable body. Okay, so here's the thing. The Victoria Seeker fashion show, when I was a kid watching it, was toxicly aspirational. That's the word to use. It was toxicly aspirational that we didn't talk about. So it was really skinny blonde models, right? To walk the runway. And they were in itty bitty bras because in the early 2000s, that's what, even in the late 90s, that's what people wanted. Like that's what the, you know, a woman's body was supposed to be looking like allegedly. So it was toxicly aspirational. I don't think people were looking at the body positivity movement the way they do it right now, right? So toxicly aspirational. And so that, of course, died throughout the years when folks are looking for real women, real beauty. Shout out to ARI, A-E-R-I-E, love ARI down, love all my heart. They talk about celebrating real bodies because I don't know if you guys know this, but women's bodies don't comment one shape in size. Tall. I don't think you know this, guys, I just say tall, okay, we're gonna get used to it. I think for the next two episodes, but women's bodies are shaped very differently. Boobs are shaped differently. I have tear drop like boobs. People have watermelon boobs. People have guava boobs. People have berries. People have no boobs. People have some boobs. Boobs, I like boobs. Sidebar. The point is people have very different bodies. And, huh? The point is people have very different bodies. And so I think when the show left, it was because there was a decline in people wanting to see skinny models on screen. And people wanted to see more bodies. And so now they're back. And last year they had not the best representation, but they had some representation. And this year the show opened with a pregnant, it was gonna be pregnant Jasmine Turks, who is an incredible model, who's nine months pregnant, she opened the show. And then Angel Reese is a pro athlete, Quinn Blackwell is an influencer with an amazing body. We have Gianna, who's an incredible model and influencer as well. Then you have the models that typically walk and knock was incredible. Like we have aspirational bodies all around because everybody's aspirational. And there's a lot of conversations now people are saying, you're curious who is going into work that the whole point of the show is that we want to see skinny models. Cause I don't think that's the case. Cause all of us watching, some people might look like those glamorous women, but not all of us do. Russ TV is not something African women do. So how does that happen? So talking about your dad is even a teacher, a math teacher, like, so how is it, like your family's done, I've seen them in your TikToks, like how did that conversation even happen? And then you're in bikinis to girl. Yeah, Lee. And I just tell you, I was terrified. If you watched my entire first season, I feel like I talk about my parents all the time. I'm always like, my mom's like, oh, like me doing that. I can't do that. I'm such like held back and like, I don't even want to say prude, but like I was like, I can't do too much, you know? But even telling them that I was gonna go on a TV show, I was like, because there's six of us, right? I have five, four sisters, one brother. And I was like, guys, this TV show is called a violent. I'm about to go on it. They want me to go on. How do I tell my mom and dad? How do I, because it wasn't even how do I tell my mom and dad? It was how do I ask them? Yeah, come down. Yeah, you don't tell. Yeah, and my big old age, I still couldn't just be like, I'm going. You know what I mean? So I had to just be like, how do I ask them to do this? And surprisingly, weirdly, they were like, okay, I think my dad didn't think I would actually do it. He was just like, all right. And then, yeah. And then it all happened. And it went really well. And so he was like, all right, I guess you can, I guess it's fine that you do TV. Really? Yeah, it was so cool. Yeah, they just definitely surprised me with how like, okay, they were about it. But it wasn't like a crazy, you know? You know, like, you're doing crazy stuff. I feel like that's also like a huge part of it. But that's because I held back. Because you know what I mean? Like, they do like, they do a lot of stuff. But I just was like, always like, ooh, and the production ended up knowing that about me. They were like, okay, yeah. We know she's the African girl. Yeah, that's not the question. And it's like, you know, so, yeah. I'm so strong opinions about the influencer industry. But the influencer industry versus throughout the TV industry, what's the most chaotic? Let's use the word chaotic there, which has been the most chaotic for you. Um, I think in the influencer space, it's like, trying to just like, keep a float almost, you know? Because it's like, people don't realize it's like, yeah, it looks all like, oh, glamorous or whatever else. But like, you still got to pay your bills. And it's like, you got to rely on that engagement and like, consistency and like, all these things. And it's like, it's becoming such a, uh, what's the word? Like, almost everybody's doing it. You know what I mean? It's the right race. Yeah, exactly. So it's like, you're still, you're like, trying to stay relevant, trying to keep those bills paid, you know what I mean? And so it's like, yeah, I think, I think with influencing, it's like figuring out what your long-term goal is so that you have that like passive income. So you're not constantly like, oh my God. What is next? What's next? Yeah, exactly. And with reality TV, it's like, that's, it's almost even scarier because I've been lucky enough to kind of still gotten to do several shows since my first season. And I know that there are certain people who did like, their first love island season and like, that's been it, you know? So it's like, and it's crazy because sometimes I'm like, I'm not even that personality that gives like, I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna do this. Like, you know what, I'm really not that. So like, sometimes it's a prize. Me that like, they still would be like, hey girl, she's gonna come to the show. It's you, please. But it's like, but that's the beauty of reality TV is that they do need every personality. They do need somebody. That's why it's all like, just be yourself because they need a little bit of everybody. They're gonna find, you're gonna find something for you too. I feel that. Was it TV actually exploits people more than it helps them? Is that, do you agree with that? Do you not, are you in the middle or do you disagree? I disagree. Ooh, tell me more. I feel like everybody kind of goes into it knowing what they're getting into. And it's like, they don't though. Like girl, cause like, you wouldn't be doing, you know what I mean? People are almost going there to be exploited. You know what I mean? Because the one of it, they want the cloud. So it's like, you know what you're signing up for. So I don't blame, I'm not like, reality TV is doing it to you. I think you're like, you know what you're signing up for. That's really, I feel like, I understand if like, you underestimated maybe the like, no one like, maybe you go for like, the circle or something, right? And you don't expect it to blow up and then it blows up and you're like, oh, maybe I thought it was a small show. And now it's a bigger deal. Maybe I can see that. For the moment, I especially would love shows. I'm like, you've seen people on these shows. It's when you go and come back and you're like, oh, I didn't think that was going to happen. I'm like, you did. Like, they probably asked you the questions. They told you exactly what you're doing. They told you what you were walking through. Like, you know what you were doing. And honestly, they're not changing your neck to something. Like, it's not the end of the world. Yeah, I feel that. Viewers care more about drama than your mental health. I agree. Yeah. Too loud. Too loud. Yeah. Influencer slash reality TV money is not as good as the internet thinks it is. No. I'm like in the middle. Really? I really feel like, well, I feel like I want to spread this up. I feel the influencer money is good. I don't think reality TV money is as good as influencer money. And let me explain what I mean by that. Like reality TV isn't like not the deals you get after reality TV, but actually going on the show specifically. Because there's some creators who say they go on reality TV and like they don't have any offers after. So they have to go back to normalcy versus like people who are able to then build on their reality TV fame to get brand deals and to become bigger. Um, I disagree because I think the first season that everybody does. Yeah. Yes. You're paid very, very little to be there. Yeah. But after you've kind of like done. If you like, I'll say this, there are certain shows that I've said yes to for the check. Gotcha. Like I'm not just there because I'm like, oh, let me do this. Yeah. Let me try. Let me get heartbroken one more time. You know what I mean? Like the check is good. Yeah. You know, so I have to disagree. Okay. Period. See, look at that. Every reality TV show needs at least one true villain to be iconic. Yes. Yeah. For sure. I feel like that's every movie loud. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's been just. Yeah. Whereas the TV is low key free therapy for the audience, not the cast. I don't even say it's free. Because here's the thing like there's. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Let me be careful. Free therapy for the audience. Yeah. More than the cast. No. I feel like I disagree. Okay. Yeah. So I feel like for us anyway in like love Island or whatever. So we do check ins every single night with production. Yeah. Like we talk through everything. There's even moments where we see psych and we'll just go sit for hours and talk. So it's like to me the show does feel like free therapy. Yeah. Because you're dating and also getting to talk to somebody about it every day and like somebody a specialist but also production who's kind of seeing both sides. And then your friends who are also in it. So it's like it really is like therapy. Therapy for real. It feels like you're in a guided space. Yeah. Yeah. Because in the real world, you don't know what's happening in that person's head. You don't know. You just gotta let. You just gotta win. We get free. But most men don't marry the women. They love the most. We know this one. They marry the one that is around when they're ready to marry. I saw this shared an Instagram. I wanted to see some male opinions on this. But I wanted to actually know why you, whether you, what your thoughts are in this one. It's a statement completely false. So does it hold some truth when you tweeted that. I've had conversations happen. It was 2018. People who talk about it so 25 and five. And the people are still talking about that. That's scarred a lot of people. A lot of people. A lot of women were upset. It's got a lot of people. But funny enough, it didn't scar me. I think it's because when I asked them for their opinion, I had access to both sides of the coin. I had access to the opinions. It's always the bad stuff that goes viral, right? So when I was sharing the great ones and I was sharing the bad ones, it's the bad ones everyone wants to freak out about. But they're not necessarily retweeting the good ones. But there were men who were like, yes, this is so true. Like my wife is lovely and I love her. But I love to someone else more and I fumbled her. It's a crazy thing to do. Yes, I know very crazy. There were guys that were like, oh, I wasn't in love with my wife. But she was a good woman. I knew that she'd cook. She'd clean. She'd take care of the kids. And I married her for that reason. There were men who were like, oh, I was getting old. I didn't want to be alone. And I just married the school because I knew she'd like me for ages. But on the flip side, there were men that were like, I married my dream woman. I met the school and I was like, this is my everything. There were men who were like, I love this girl from day one. There were men who were like, I wasn't ready to marry when she wanted to marry. But I had to summon up intentionality because there was no way I was going to fumble this woman. I was going to lose this woman. I married the love of my life. So do I think it's at the time? What did I think? Because I was asking what people thought. Do I think it was most men? No. I think it's many men. I don't think it's most. I think it's many. I think if I had to assume, I'd probably say about 50, 50. And I 50 is all scary number. But I think to be controversial, a lot of women do this too. I think there are a lot of women who aren't married to the men that they love the most or love to the most. But they married men who they felt like, oh, he's a good choice. It's stable. Yes, he's stable. And the thing is, we want stability. But we also want stability and love. Right? That's the idea. Do you have both? Pelin? Can you have both? Oh, yeah, I have both. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. And I think having both also comes with having maturity. Because I think that you can never have both if you're an immature person because you will see stability is boring. Stability will not entice you. Yeah. You will assume stability means absence of passion. But when you are mature in the way you navigate love, you understand that actually stability and passion can coexist. And there's passion in being grounded in your person feeling like home. Like that's one of the most passionate things I think. Yeah. Like finding home in a person. But if you're emotionally immature, you think this is boring. This is we don't argue. It's not spicy. I'm bored. And you might think the person you love the most was the roller coaster relationship because it pulled all your emotions out of you. When in reality, you just aren't emotionally mature enough to value the stability of a healthy relationship. So yeah, you can definitely have both, but you need to be mature to appreciate the both together. Yeah. That's so great. I also think about it from like the perspective of how we grow up, right? Because for a lot of times men are raised sort of be providers financially chasing that financial goal. And then for women, it's like where this from my culture, our culture is finished school, even if some people never sent you to school. Yeah. Get married be a mother. Yeah. And that's it. So in that situation, if a man is coming to you, you're like, well, that's all I'm supposed to be doing. Yeah. And I see that now, thankfully in 2025, it's shifting where you have independent women. Like I just saw our research studies showed that in America at least, like, there's more kids being born for 40 plus older women. Yeah, I see that. And that put a smile on my face. I'm 36. I put a massive smile on my face. I saw someone who hasn't started. I'm like, yeah, great. Now we have time. Because we've been told that, like, you know, your early 20s is when you're supposed to be the baby pumping machine. And this is like no knocks to folks who, you know, get married early or give birth early. But the idea is, like, that's when you're supposed to have the family and all that stuff. And I'm like, my early 20s, I did not know who I was. I told it. I don't even know. I'm 28, guys. I don't know what I'm doing. Like, half the time I'm trying to figure this shit out. And people think I know what I'm doing. I'm still trying to figure stuff out. So I'm magic. And then when we see our moms who are like, now who then we're just surviving. And we have so much blame and so much shame that they carry. And I always oftentimes wonder, like, hmm, I wonder what would have been like for them. If they actually took the time to learn who they were, what they wanted, how to love, how to get loved. I wonder what the difference would have been. Yeah. So interesting. It is very interesting. I would say women, you shouldn't view a relationship as if it's something that will save you. Or define you. Right. But I think in my 20s, when I saw relationships like that, it was very easy to be anxious. Because it's like, it was not working out. You're stripping away my future. You're stripping away my future. With all these things will happen next year. Oh, my God. My life is not going to look how it's supposed to look because I kind of planned it around you. Right. When I had my own life and I was like, working on my career, I was writing my books. Creating like a name for myself. I was like, this is lit. Like my life is lit with or without someone. Yeah. So now when I met someone that I am spending the rest of my life with, it was easier to be secure because it's like, you know what? I'm going to give my all. You're going to give your all. But if this doesn't work out, life is still a fun to be lit. Like I still have my life. Like my life is not defined by you. And even with me getting married soon, my partner is the love of my life. Like he's absolutely amazing. God forbid anything happened to him. I would be distraught. Like you probably would not see me again. I would absolutely be distraught. But with that said, what I love about this relationship is that my life is not defined by his presence in it. His presence contributes to added joy, added warmth, added laughter, added happiness. My life is so much more beautiful with him in it. But before him, it was still beautiful. And I think that's what drew him to me anyway. And that's what draws me to him. Like he's happy with or without me, happier with me, but happy with or without me. And I think when you get to that place, it's much easier to be secure. And you know what's actually been really what I've really been loving as of late is this like quarter zip. Oh, the trend. I've been loving that. I've been loving that because I feel like young black men need to like see themselves in positions that like empowers you. Yeah. Like you don't have to put nobody else down. You don't have to speak to people in a vulgar way. You don't have to. It's just, it's just an energy frequent. I feel like I'm just so happy about that whole trend. It makes me so happy. It's not only FYP. It's actually my FYP. Yeah. I love it so much. Like it's so fire. Thank you. Okay. Tell me one from your homework. Yeah. Mine is definitely that that quarter zip. And another thing. I'm a quarter zip dude now. Simple. I don't do that. Nike type stuff. But your little boys do. I can't do that. I'm elegant. I'm classy for me like. Yes. Like it's so fire. It's so, it's so fire. And I don't even think people understand like where this trend, like the potential that it has. Yeah. Because it's now someone young black men are like it's okay to be professional. It's okay to be to appear educated. It's okay to be clean cut and groomed. Yeah. And I love that. I really, really love that. Like I love. I love that. Yeah. I love that. Because I feel like usually the way I create content, I don't really do anything. I don't. I don't. I don't ever do any trends. This is the only trend that I'm like, you know what? I actually want to hop on this trend. You know what I'm saying? So it's just dope. No, I love that. I feel like it's so interesting. I bring that up because a lot of the black men I know are all in tech and Silicon Valley and all these places. But you don't really see them online because I don't think it's cool for them. But shit like this is happening now. Yeah. Finally. I like seeing young black men and quarter zips. It's tough. Everybody grew up. I even myself grew up like wearing Nike tags. And you know what I'm saying? So just seeing, it's just so, so beautiful. Honestly. Okay. So I have another video about to pull up for you. And this one is, I think one of my favorites. Muslims are not your enemy. And Islam is not this violent ideology that's coming to take over and changing your way of life. That's not how it is at all. It's better off probably having a Muslim neighbor than anyone else. And not to say that Muslims are perfect. We are not perfect. We are imperfect and flawed just like any other human being out there. Muslims have been dehumanized so much for the action of just few that don't represent Muslims or Islam at all. Whose victims are Muslims more than anyone else. There are two billion Muslims more than two billion Muslims in the world. If every Muslim wanted to harm you, the world will be over. As Muslims, we want to become the best version of ourselves, contribute to society and worship God. If you want to study and understand Islam, pick up the Quran. It has been translated in many languages so you can get the direct word yourself. And another thing, please don't use other people's cultural practices to represent Islam because it does not. Another talking point that's completely false is that Islam oppresses women. Islam does not. Islam gave women the right to education, the right to home ownership, the right to inheritance, and so many other rights. And lastly, Prophet Muhammad salallahu ala wa sallam said, the most perfect of believers are those who are best in conduct and kind to their families. That is what Islam represents. And I urge for you to just pick up the Quran and read for yourself. I read the Bible myself, the book of Proverbs to be exact. In Islam, we are encouraged to seek out knowledge and educate ourselves the best way that we possibly can. So please be mindful of the rhetoric that you speak out there. So I watched that and I loved this so much, but also I think we've actually never talked about this. But I'm Muslim, right? But I am not a practicing Muslim anymore. And in the video before this video is coming out, I think maybe two videos. I'm not sure when your episode is coming out. But I talked about how organized religion is a scam. Not religion and not faith, but organized religion itself. Because I fear that we put so much emphasis on humans leading us to some level of heaven or aspiration in that way. That we forget that religion and faith is such a personal endeavor. It's such a personal quest. So we've seen you talk about that, especially because I was also in Nigeria when Trump did the whole Christian nationalities. We're going to come on save Christians in Nigeria, come and save us. And I remember thinking that being Muslim, because people I love people asking me to be like, oh, why don't I say I'm not Muslim? Because I'm like, I would always be Muslim. My core I'm always going to be Muslim. I've also read the Bible. I've also read the Torah. Like I've always been seeking knowledge. But I always struggle with the way it's portrayed in the media, especially because humans are such a vile creature sometimes. And the way we weaponize culture and religion to our end. So how does it feel to be like a Muslim man in America around this particular time? I feel the way I create content is I feel like I feel like many other people can kind of like relate to as well. Ideas just come to me and I just act upon them. But one thing I realized though is that Islam is such a beautiful religion. And it has done so much for me. I was born and raised Muslim. But I've had to kind of like rediscover it on my own kind of, you know. And just understanding like how it's done such a disservice kind of like throughout within, especially within the West. And one of the things that I've kind of been talking about as a lot lately, I actually made another video kind of like a follow-up of that is the fact that religion, especially the Islamic religion, has been you who's extremism, as you say, as a political vehicle in most of the places, then it is like a religious thing. Like, I don't know of any practice of Muslim that would say that anything that an extremist does is something that is right or something that Muslims stand for. You know what I'm saying? But the way they say, oh, the Muslims, the Muslims, the Muslims, and especially things, you know, 9-11 happened. Right? It's like all Muslims are kind of like put under the same umbrella when in reality, like the way they describe Islam is nothing compared to what Islam actually is. You know what I'm saying? And I feel like people are actually now starting to wake up and realize like, yo, what have I been thought all this time, you know, about this religion, all these people. And what are some of the things that are fabricated to kind of like make me not like them or make them make me hate them. Yeah. And I think especially today's this video that I was watching as I was watching recently with this. It actually went viral on TikTok. This lady that was calling like churches. Oh, I saw that. Yeah. That's what it wasn't for me too. And then it's just like people are starting to see that like the true love and compassion that a lot of Muslims have. Yeah. We're not perfect, you know, and but we all people that try and we absolutely love and really would help out any and every single person that we possibly can. Yeah. You know, so to me, I'm just I'm grateful. I'm really grateful to be to be Muslim. And I also feel I get what you say in terms of like the organized religion aspect of things. But I feel like Muslims also noticed for the most part is a deeply personal journey. Yeah. You know, and it does happen to be in Islam. They are setting, you know, protocols that are supposed to be followed. Yeah. You know, I'm trying my best to adhere to a lot of the principles, you know, and really do my best. But I think that the day, um, heaven is not necessarily for the, uh, in Islam, there's a saying that like, um, that heaven necessarily is not for the perfect person or not. It's not for the person that doesn't send you only get into heaven mainly because of God's mercy. You know, and I feel as though, um, one of the things that I try my best is just to become the best person that I can possibly become and become a. Contribute a member of society. Yeah. And then, you know, try my best to, to sigh away from this and we all send in some capacity in some way, shape or form. And so how do I just try to be better than I was yesterday? Yeah. That's my, um, overall go every single time. I love that. Okay. You were talking, I just thought about this. You sound like someone who has their shit together. And for a lot of people like that is something that sometimes they feel like they can't relate to. So what is something that you consider? And it's never further my questions. A vice or something like you really still struggle with. Um, what is a vice? I guess sometimes distraction. Okay. Like social media. Social media can be a distraction. I feel like what do you watch? I can't imagine what your FYP looks like. My FYI is just like, I watch a lot of, a lot of political. Yeah. Okay. Sometimes it's just like funny stuff. I love watching like the Nigerian skits. Yeah. I love Nigerians. Yeah. I love Nigerians. Yeah. Yeah. I'm obsessed with Nigerians. And we're chaotic. Funny. And how much you supposed to go to Nigeria and, um, and be somebody. You coming? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you should come to Lagos though. I might. Yeah. I might. Yeah. Yeah. It's not far. It's like 40 minutes. You're going to, are you going to fly straight into Abuja? I think so. I was watching. Yeah. That's definitely a, um, a vice of mind. What other, what other vice would I say I have? Um, um, this is not to like try to say I'm perfect. Trust me. Trust me. I feel like. I feel like. I feel like another vice that I would say I've, I've struggled with. It's just discipline myself from women. Yeah. And not necessarily even just being a woman, but even talking to women or like China. And just trying my best to not entertain women to that capacity. Well, how are you, how are you getting married? No. Yeah. I would talk to, but like just not trying to like. Not to. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I just feel as though like. Yeah. I just. I love women. Yeah. Like I really and truly love women. I feel like that's one of my biggest weaknesses. Uh, so you're working on that. Yeah. So I'm working on like just discipline myself from not necessarily like. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So. You're one of the women now who's like, you're doing your own thing and you're killing and you're so successful. But one thing I want to say is during your very quietly successful. Is that intentional? Or do you just think that? How does quiet, what is quietly successful? I'm so curious. You're not, you're not flashy. Okay. You don't celebrate your accolades loudly. It's more of a quiet thing. Is that an intentional thing? Is that like from like, oh, my village, you know, come on. See what I'm doing. Yeah. Like what does that come from? I let my my success, my work speak for itself. Right. Like if you dig into my page, if you watch myself, if you know, then you see, okay, she saw on who has been one of the biggest publications in the world. Forbes has listed up as top 50 creators in the world. Yeah. Right. I need some collaboration. And you see like my, my, my, my work. I let my work speak for itself because you can talk to talk to me. You can't back it up, right? Sure. And also I come from parents who are very humble. My parents are very, very successful. My mom, she's an ambassador, an ambassador in Nigeria, an ambassador to Austria and Slovakia. Two countries in one term, right? My dad is really big in politics, back home in Nigeria, but they don't lead with that. They lead with like how they can impact people. And that's why I'm very impact driven. The only time I'll ever say I've done like something massive and really, really big to show people is what I did. Like back home in Nigeria in a Maraba. Yeah. It's like outside of Abuja. Yeah. I did my NYC there. And I. I was like, it's Daniel. That's what I've heard that from. Oh, yeah. Oh, no, no. Hey, that's my favorite. That's my favorite artist actually. It's Daniel. So I did my NYC there as a teacher. And I went back there to like support the school and doing them a big Christmas party. Because it's like a, it's a very poor community. Yeah. So I was like, okay, if I'm going to do something to show that I have money, it's not for it to show I have money. It's more like, how can I use my money to help other people? So that's the only time I read this something really, really big. I did a big Christmas party. Bows to council. Find out Christmas and extended class. Find out Christmas. You know, face painting, all those things. And it was like, yeah, philanthropy is very important to me. I'm going to get back to these kids because they need it more. Yeah. So I don't know. I'm not really a flashy person. But it's a way to show my flashiness. It was like, if I'm going to help someone like do a scholarship or something like that. That's the way I like. I'm telling you she's the coolest person on earth. So really like, oh, yeah, I'm really not like a lot of it. But if I'm going to be loud, it's like, I'm going to give back like that. Like, I'm telling you, not a lot of people are age think like that, especially when they come into the money that we come into. I think on some level, it might be a chicken and egg thing. I think there's something about the call of the wild that calls to certain people that are willing to answer the cortex a lot of courage. And courage is a very like on the retail thing because like, you know, like love is very like front and center and like kindness on the right there. Yeah. But like you but you need courage. It's home. No, that is home. Yeah. But how are you looking at it? Yeah. Yeah. I feel courageous. Yeah. You need courage to practice everything else anyway. So I think there's something about it. It's not as soon as I came here, as soon as I saw like I got a little bit of what the lay of the line was in America. Immediately. You want to come to America because he had a much better chance of surviving at home. Yeah. I couldn't I would have died in Nigeria. And but not physically, but like my soul would have died in Nigeria. There was nothing there for me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There was nothing there for me. But you could have you could have found it with like thrive. He was already thrive. He was like a huge like life downgrade in coming in and starting all over again. Yeah. Yeah. I was literally going to die there. And I didn't even know how much I would change when I got here, but I just knew that like. I don't know what it is, but yeah. Yeah. It was crazy. I feel like that's it. I feel like we could go so deep into it. And we have a lot to even cover about 2026 and growing up. Yeah. But there's so much to be said about because we're three immigrants who have come into a country. And there's a lot of conversation about even not us being here. But how much opening our eyes as inspired us to dream differently and to see things differently. And this is so deep. But there's a conversation to be had about either succeeding. You know the carbon, the bucket mentality. Yeah. Well, you all know the same thing. You live the same way. And then you fight. You're all fighting each other versus someone can go out and be like, oh, it actually is better there. We can take from here and put it there and build ourselves up. How do we? How do we find the courage to have been do that to like for people who can't leave their current circumstances? How can they still find the courage to be the best version of their selves with what the cars are being dealt? Yeah. So see, answering that question is, it's easier, but it's also difficult, right? Because I think one of the, the blessings that I think like I had when I was like making those decisions is that like I did not grasp my reality. I didn't really understand what was going on in the moment. Right. And this is something that we discussed a lot. Because when we moved to this country, like it was a, it was a different like life shift, like comfort coming here and like. And even though we were technically suffering. Did register. Even though we were suffering, it didn't register. They're like, oh, you're actually suffering right now, right? Like because. And I think. That's like for me for someone who doesn't like who isn't like a believer, right? I've always found comfort in family and community. And when you have family like that. I was never felt at a loss. I mean, so it's like, I think it was, that's why it was easier to make those decisions by imagine someone who puts a lot of weight around like. Why people who like are actually living in their reality, right? Let's say they're older, even if they're younger, if you're like 16 making those decisions and like, you're really thinking about like, what is the impact? What impact do this have to my friend? Am I going to miss this friend? And maybe like this selfishness maybe there's like. Just like openness, like maybe there are a lot of things around that. But I think that's what made that decision like easy. Then like for other people. And there's also the. Economic aspect of it, right? It's like the opportunity, right? Having the opportunity to be able to make that choice versus people who can. Yeah, sure. I think for people that are back home, I don't want to like. Say what I'm going to say, I make it sound like I believe that people are predestined to. Be brave enough to follow their path or not be brave. I thought because like you said, there are circumstances that lead to. That lead to like people choosing all the paths that they choose. Being aware, being hungry for knowledge or like. You know, not not to mention like being brought up in the kind of home where. We were fortunate enough to be neglected in a way that made us in like in. Equisitive. Yes. Okay. So like I always say like everybody. But not realize that we're neglected. Yes. Anyone who knows me in real life knows that like like I've been watching TV since. I have been born and my dad like used to pay for. We used to joke about it. He used to be like the food. DSTV bouquet. And you don't know how much value there is in having access to the food. DSTV bouquet on. You go out. You go like out in Lagos and talk to people that don't have that access. And you're talking about certain things that you've seen on TV in different parts of the world. And they're like. So it's a form of education that like isn't counted as education. But it. But it puts like a hunger in your soul where like the child just knows that like they are meant for more. It's ingrained in them because they just know that like what they are seeing is real life. But it's like it's one small part. Or they know that like that's not all life was. So. I'm not going to use myself as an example. I use like some of the friends that I. Nigerian friends that grew up in Ibadon. And I said I just said Ibadon like Ibadon is like some village. But they grew up in. But yeah. In most part. Compared to like most big cities. There's a different like. But I know it's growing. But like Ibadon is not Lagos. Yeah. And anyway or even Abuja. Yeah. You know, like my friend Aisha the friends that I. That I. Ended up being the closest to when I. And when I got to Ghana. I'm using Aisha as an example. Aisha and I like part of the reason why we're born that is because we were the only people that understood. How ups like the obsession with CW. Like TV shows were in that like there are many people who like I've seen the dress in the show because like they've bought like. The DVD with like six episodes in some market or something but like. She was the first person that I that knew that like all these different shows were all CW and CW used to be one like was one of brothers and was. So things like that but Aisha is in a very. When I finally reconnected with her last year, it was not shocking to me that she's a full feminist. Yeah. It was not shocking to me that like she I think she she's in Belgium now. It was not shocking that like at some point like Nigeria just wasn't she was like no, I have to go this. There's a there's a hungry. But a lot of this is all bringing. But there's a there's a very small percentage of people who just have it in them like they have the hunger. I'm not one of those people I think I'm very. Suggestible and if I was born on the very different circumstances, I wouldn't have known that I was missing out on an entirely different life. I don't think. Oh, interesting. I can see that too because when you talk about like following your mom and being Christian and then reading away, I really think for a lot of people, the difference between the life you want and the life that you're currently living is curiosity. I don't think a lot of people are curious enough because curiosity means you're not scared of the unknown. Yes. And to control people, you have to be scared of the unknown. Like that's how the world works. Yeah. People are scary. Trans people are scary. I think it's just scary. Russia is scary. China is scary. Nigeria is scary. South Africa is scary. Like working as fast as scary. Congo is scary. Palestine is scary. Israel is scary. It's all scary. It's all scary. And so if you're in your own bubble, then you can't go past. Yeah. That's because for you, it's like, well, that good somewhere that could potentially burn me when I'm safe here. There's so much growth that is outside of the fear because you learn so much. And it's still scary, right? But I think you can see us like on the couch when we're having conversations. It's not from a place of close-mindedness, like at all. Like in fact, if anything, like I could be having the same conversation with someone who is full-blown question, who believes in God and everything else. And there's no ounce of judgments in me, just curiosity. Because for me, it's like, how do you arrive at that conclusion? I respect that you arrive at that conclusion. If you're able to tell me exactly how you arrived at it. And I can move on from it. Because for me, you understand what you're in. And I think about this from people who are also looking for their goals. How people are able to just lock in but also be curious. It's not, it can't be taught. I think that's the conversation of like, you have to sort of be born with it. But it can be taught what it could be learned. It could be fostered. It could be fostered. It could be fostered. If you put your mind to it, if you're open to it. So we're going to transition into fear. You know what's crazy? It's like, guys, I'm having a assistant show out of body experience. Because I produce the show too. Every time I'm writing, and I'm also on the show, it's weird. Because I can see from all angles. And we're also tapped in because it's like, it's interesting how fear came into the conversation. Because while I was thinking about the episode, that's why we put fear in it. Because I'm like, this feels like the next thing. So it's kind of like confirming how it just goes in. And then you two just like tapped into that. That's why I gave you the high five. It's such a strange man. I think one of my biggest fears is probably that I will die and no one would have seen me. Which I, that's like the easiest way I can say it. But I don't know how. Because I'm like, I'm very me. But I am, I am very careful about how I'm expressing like all the different facets of me. And so I don't, there is, there is a. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know if you've seen those yoga. I like, I heard it post as where the person has like, they're sitting down and it's like it's one being. But then they're like, multiple being. Yeah. So it's like, I always wonder if like someone will ever see like a fully integrated. I mean, I guess that person could be myself. I will ever like see like a fully integrated version of myself. And not like all the different parts that you can collect from others. I don't think so. I think it's a very romanticized version of love that I have in my head. But it is. Yeah. Yeah. It is a, you know, it's, it's, it's also. I mean, obviously needs therapeutic inputs. Yeah. Yeah. I see, I think I hear what you're saying in terms of like, when is it be seen fully? Um, I think I'm scared of looking stupid. And what? Do you think you're better than women? No, no, by don't I don't know why. I don't know why. I feel like I think you think you're better than women. Let me explain. No, no, no. Let me unpack. I don't. Because why you just communicated to me now is she was not worth my time. That's what she is. Yes, because you did not treat her like a human being. Right. And that's bad. You know, I know that the base level. I'm saying now you're a better man. Then I know what I'm saying. Yes. Then that's what you just said right now is when women are pursuing you at that point. And I think that's where the power dynamic comes into play. Right. When they're pursuing you at that time. I don't know. I'm thinking. I'm thinking right. That's okay. No, because it's like it's, it's also I'm you're learning. No, as you said it. And I get it. Because as you're talking, I was like, this is a lot of this is not a lot of men talk, right? Because again, the power is typically in the man's hand. Like the patriarchy works that way to wear like even her shooting her shot in that way. She was very nervous because of course he's not going to respond. And that's where driver crazy. But again, it's that's why I said it's really hard for men and men to be platonic friends unless they're seeking something, right? Because I don't understand a woman who would choose actively to be friends with a woman. Because that's a lot of work you have to do to have to teach a man to unlearn a lot of the things that he's been taught from a really young age. Because a lot of men don't respect women to begin with. And this is not even me. This is not happening. This is facts. Like men are raised to respect women. They are raised to think they're better than women. Because then women are supposed to be subservient to them, which again is absolutely false. So in this conversation that you're talking, when you were speaking, you, I don't unintentionally were like, yeah, like unless I want to chase after, like I'm not going to engage. But in that scenario, a simple, oh my, like I was just being a good friend. I'm not really interested in you. And of course, if you listen to this and you're really young or you're a guy or girl, whatever you're interested, it's just understanding like how to play that situation. It makes sense to be like, hey, I'm so sorry. I'm really not that interested in you. However, like you're a good friend. Like if this is terrible friend zoning, like I'm so sorry. Like I, when you're coming out, give me dinner. You know what I mean? Like softened the blow of rejection. No, of course. I know for a fact, you're also like the goaster, right? Yeah, that's. Yeah. And again, that also comes from a lot of people know having the emotional bandwidth to actually understand compensation and major uncomfortable. Right. I was uncomfortable in like. But also that's because like you didn't grow up navigating the emotions that come with. Yeah. Women hood and grow hood, right? Women don't grow up understanding how growing up as a man or as a man. Work in this situation. We just don't, we don't grow up learning about each. You also know constantly thinking about the other person. Yeah. Because it's like ghost thing for me. It's like. Yo, if people were to come out and say, oh. It's like, I would ghost you. I never ghosted people. Oh my god. I'm the over communicator. I'm the one who's going to explain to you exactly what happened and why it happened because of this happened. That's exactly why I did. I feel like I have to over explain to not hurt your feelings. I think that's one thing that I'm definitely benefited from our friendship. Yeah. Yeah. It's like learning how to like don't communicate and like. Because when we first became friends. Oh, you know what I'm saying. I used to call it all out all the time. I used to force this man to talk. Hey, you know what I mean? Because it's like, I wouldn't get you. It's requires. Yeah. He zones out. He don't do this or not. Like, he's looking at people. He's not. Like, he's over the conversation. Like, he's just like, kind of be done. And I always like, no. You're going to sit here. You're going to listen. We have a had long term purely platonic friendships with women. And what do you think made them work? Or is it always a risk that one side will catch feelings? What do you think, Donald? This is for you. No, this is for you. Do you think men and women can generally be friends with anyone? Have you ever had long term platonic relationship with women? It's talking about talking to a man. I have. Who? Who? Who? That's why you're out. I have a couple of friends in Nigeria. You've not seen them. Yeah, I haven't. That can't count. But if one were leaving Nigeria, right? You're young. You're not grown now. Sorry. I'm just going to take this. No, no, I don't think you're young. Like, when I was in university. Yeah, it was not. You're too young. True. Yeah. It was like, you were in you. Like outside of, again, a controlled environment. Yeah. And when you were in the streets, they went like, we weren't friends friends. Exactly. That's what she's saying. Like, you're like, generally with me friends. Honestly, honestly, yes. Right? Because my ex is best friend. I'm really, really close to now. And it's generally a platonic relationship. Like, we call, we chitchat, we talk. And there's nothing going on. Right. But I will say it's, oftentimes works out when the person is a taboo. Like, I'm never going to date my ex is best friend. So it's much easier. It's more comfortable relationship. Because you can trust that the other side can't catch feelings. So you feel safe. It doesn't really matter. Exactly. Yeah. Well, you would know. I don't think so. People cheat even in marriages. True. Yeah. So everything that matters. I honestly don't think so. I think it's far fetched. Of course, there's no absolute in the world, right? What is platonic, right? It's like, are you talking everyday? No. Because I get frustrated with that. I'm not talking to them every day. Okay. Of course, you can have a female friend. But in this situation, we're definitely talking about a genuine, good, long term friend that you can depend on. Yeah. I think that's possible. I also just think that there's always going to be boundary set. Like I'm not going to bed on the phone with my, my, my boy best friend. Like we're not falling asleep on the phone. We're not, like hanging out and holding hands. We're not going to dinner. You know what I mean? Like we're not doing those things. And fun enough, my ex. And this is, I don't know why he's a good example of this. Because he has a lot of female friends and there's all platonic. Like he was, I still get calls to this day. Like how does he have these many friends? And it was never an issue in our relationship. Because the friends always just made sure I was included. But also he had such intentional boundaries with them that they just knew what was up. And when they always cross the boundary, he was always very quick to set those boundaries. So I think a lot of times these relationships just don't work out because there is no boundary set. Right. Essentially. Yeah. Let's see some of the answers here. Yeah. Oh. Okay. One answer is says build 1925 says it's impossible to turn off nature. Okay. When hormones set start to form, there isn't much that you can do but create a little distance. Other than that, I wouldn't know why men and women wouldn't be able to just be friends. Friendship is based on other things and sexual attraction. That is true. Again, that's where boundaries come from. If you're mistaking care and support for love or affection, it makes sense for you to pull back, regulate, and then come back. And even in like female friendships, there are times where you get overwhelmed. Maybe this person is frustrating you or this and that. It's oftentimes a good way to pull back. Take a step back. We calibrate, regulate, and then come back into the relationship. I think we all need to learn boundaries and space in friendships and relationships in general. I think romantic relationships with people ask for space. People get really scared and terrified. But then I always say, let's talk about this Donald. Me and Donald had a fight, right? And we did not talk for how long? Six, five months. Right? And I think we needed that space to be stronger friends. That's true. I don't think we would have been so essentially don't hurt me real bad. And I just knew that for us to go past that hurt and just for us to deal with it, we needed a space. But I was so sure that if we were meant to be friends, we'll come back to each other. And we ended up doing it five months. I think a lot of times, even in romantic relationships, people get too scared to lose the other person. They don't want to take the risk of putting that space in. But if you're scared that someone is going to lose interest in you because you stop talking for five months, six months, whatever. I don't think you should be friends in the first place. Because that relationship is not strong enough to withstand anything. I did that. You need to be up under someone. Whatever that person is to you doesn't necessarily appeal to me. It's like the string that you're holding on to is not strong enough. And it can be and it should be, right? Essentially like relationships should be ebb and like they should ebb and flow. They're not easy. Relationships are not easy. I like that. Next answer. I find myself uncomfortable around women who clearly just wants to be friends. Because I have honestly never had to deal with such a situation before. I enjoy their company, but don't always know what to talk about. I'm so used to just having friendships with men. This is from someone called manmade margarine. That makes sense. That was me. Wait, before you say it, a response to that is a male man with whose name is ever vigilant one. The reason you find yourself uncomfortable around women who clearly just wants to be friends is that women don't tend to want male friends. They want male appliances and tools. They want to have those men available for their use when they need them. Otherwise, they have no want or use for the men they call their friends. That's a different angle. That's not wrong. Old. And then manmade margarine response. You're not understanding it. We're both autistic. Well, she has the yapping. What? She has the yapping without caring. Whether the other is interested in the variance. I have the silent momentarily. We have everything happening in the room. All I want is kind. I enjoy listening to you. I'm too focused on everything. All I want. So it just becomes over one matter when things are jokes or not. I have fun life at the wrong moment. So this is a whole different conversation in general that he's talking about. We're going to focus on the first two. I really read really fast. You guys, I am so sorry. I'm a terrible. I'm so fast. That's like margarine is going through. So my journey is just does. I don't think it's a male and female thing. I think margarine just does not like the friend or like he just their communication styles is very different. But that's not the point. Let's talk about what ever vigilant one says. Women just want male friends who are appliances and tools. When you have a man who does not know how to communicate, the best way to engage in that is to find a tool like a use for the relationship. It's true. Think about it. Men want women for something the same way women want. Friendships are like that. I know a friend who, if I need to go out today, I know who to call. If I need some support, I know who to call. If I need some money, I know who to call. If I need someone to help me, put up my TV. I don't, I don't, I don't fault women who do that. Because that's oftentimes also like a means to an end. Like, okay, if I can't talk to you about my emotions, at least you're going to help me do something. Because I know like, there are times where I'm like, I need to take the trash out. And I'm like, who's my guy friend here? Or if there's like a coach on the floor? I don't want to kill the back of my friend. Because like, I think men are generally useful. Yeah. If you can, you know, it's like a, a two on an appliance. Yeah, I like the names of the description. Yeah, yeah. It's like, it was like something helpful. You kind of need to direct. Yes. Okay, let's go back to, let's go to another person's response. Mm-hmm. God, this question comes up so often. Yes, men and more than people who have been platonic friendships with women. I have many such with women who are objectively attractive, or who have never had the slightest romantic sexual interest in. You're going against a bunch of guys in here saying, no, he definitely came because that happens every time this question is asked. I just always feel kind of sorry for them. Many of the friendships that I have with both men and women stretch back at good 20s to 30 years, I told you. It's because they met them young. It's not even that it's impossible to have such friendship. It's normal. Thank you. I like not that guy 6 to 50. You think he's in church? What do you mean? Like he has church friends? Not that guy. No, because like if you're in church and like you're in community. No, I mean that. Like I feel like it goes back to my earlier point that male and female friendships only tend to work when like you've known the person from a really young age. Right. Because you're able to navigate learning them and how you meet them. Because friendships also are like how you meet. Like we already talk about like making friends as an adult is really hard. So imagine then growing up being your mid 20s and then trying to make friends and you find some guy who like it's hard to communicate. Why would you be friends with that? You know what I mean? Like it's going to be harder for you to bridge that gap and be friends with that person who's not able to communicate with you because they just don't know how to be friends with you. Right. It's just a bit harder. But if you've known them for a while, it's much easier because then you, you have an excuse to stay around. Okay. You think someone can be friends. Patonic friends with their ex. Yes. I agree. Yes. For sure. Between men and women. Yeah. I think it's easier to be friends when you've gone past that. Yes. Yes. Oh my god. Yes. I think 100%. That is true. I have access that I'm genuinely like friends with. Because I also feel like it's because human beings don't have control. Right. Right. Right. So we're raised again, going back to like how we raise. We're raised like the ideas like, you know, men and women, we're in girl, whatever. Like you should like each other. You like the person that it is. It's never really platonic. Right. Because again, the end goal in like the path of a human being is to get married and have children. Because you still have organ. Yeah. Yeah. No organ. It's just like the end goal. We talked about is like give birth, get married, go to school, that other, all those things. So in this scenario, as you're growing up, you're supposed to be finding a partner to marry and settle down with. Right. So very rarely are you able to think, oh, this is not a partner to settle down with. This is a friend because in society's mind, and oftentimes what you're told is, why are you wasting? Why are you friends with the guy when you can't just diss him? The one of guy friends that I have in my mom will be like, ah, you're not dissing this person. Or you don't like this person. Why not? He's good for you. I don't have any questions. So in that scenario, once you've gone past the, I like the old juckel core, which is like the, oh, I just, let me just, let's have the sex. Let's do the sexual connection to the chemistry. Let's go past that. You tend to realize after you're not the clarity just becomes very clear. I've been interested in that. Okay. Tell me. You're cooking a pot. Okay. And you put, and you realize that you don't like my gear or salt in your pot. Mm-hmm. Like you don't like a certain spice. Mm-hmm. Well, you two like all the other things that you like the needs. You like all those things. You know what? She's a very, very advocate analogy. But think about it, right? Yeah. Meaning that like you've dated a person. It's a kind of conversation that will go on TikTok. People will be like, we need to take podcasts, mics. So you've dated a person. Yeah. You like 60%. You know you can't, this is not your forever person. Exactly. It's much easier to be platonic friends. Right. And both of you have mutually agreed that the relationship did not work out. It's oftentimes harder if one person is still feeling so whatever, but if it's a mutual agreement, that is true. True. Like mommy, if you listen to this, I'm lying. I'm going to make her listen to this. Don't listen to it. And so this is the one where I say mommy, if you're listening, this is my mom. So I'm only 65 years old. She just turned 65. When we say it, we don't introduce yourself on me. Okay. My name is Ah. Alain Rewaju. Ibrahim. Nave. Fulami. I am born and bred legotian into the family of the Fulami in Oruki. It's your son, look how governments. I turned 65 on Sunday, May 25th. I say I'll hum the delight and which of Allah's favor can I deny? No. He had been so faithful to me. He had brought me to this level. And I say I'll hum the delight. So to everyone watching, my mom is late or blessed memory. I love her so much. My father is 92. I hum the delight. We still pray for a long life for him and good health. And I have two kids. I have a son. And I have a daughter who is carrying me here to see the world. So I have two grandkids and a daughter in law. I'll hum the delight. I have all my siblings. Some in support. Some against. But here I am to say Allah knows best. Yes. You're kind to say like you know they're Western moms. I feel like my mom is like a very traditional, very Muslim, very strict. When you say you're strict. Well, it's 50-50. Some said I am not. Some said I am. But as far as I'm concerned, I know I have played my role so well. So the best of my ability. And to what God has enabled me to. So it can be your strict. You can be your not strict. You do not train children. Allow. Yes. Okay. Okay. Okay. So tell us a little bit. So I feel like I like to tell people that I am your wildest dreams. Like I am like the version of you that not listen to anybody. I was just stubborn. And did whatever she wants. Because I feel like this is me. I'm going to call you out small. I feel like when I was growing up my mom was like my like a role model. Like she was just she did whatever she wanted. She wrote everybody. My mom was always like the only woman in a room full of like 50 men. And they all listened to her. She did not care about anything. She did what she wanted to do. She was a marketing executive at Evans. She did the local government. She did all of those. She did all those things. Are you wearing the UK to so tell me tell us how like growing up how you were. I'm going to be honest because I feel like you went from that person I know. And now you're a bit like calmer. And I don't know if it's age or it's just like whatever. What would you say? Well, I know that when I was growing up I wouldn't say it was tough. Well, it was neither here nor there. I'm in the family of 21. Okay. 21 siblings. Yes. And I'm the number one. So you do know what that means. You have to be the mother to everyone. And I think I was able to play that role. I had to do a lot of sacrifices. Even to my siblings, to my siblings, children. And today I'm so proud of everyone. Because we had all come out to be good and better. And I'm still praying that you know everyone with one challenges or the other would overcome them and will continue to be better and greater in short. Well, I started my journey. I went to primary school, secondary school, then university. Fortunately, I went to UK. I did marketing. I wanted to do pharmacy because I've always loved to be in the science world. But unfortunately, you know, for one reason or the other, I had to, you know, you know, go back and you don't get something done because there were challenges from back home. And I felt like rather than come here and then does be doing nothing in the society. Why don't I just quickly go in? So I did my diploma in marketing. I was going back for my masters in marketing. Unfortunately, I was forced back home the African way. So when I got back home, it was tough. I had to go back and do my NYC. And after NYC, I had to struggle later. And you know, in those days, I'm the number one. I don't have anybody to report to. I don't have anyone to go back to say, please help me beg daddy or help me. Everybody looked at me as a role model. I cannot disappoint anybody. And once your daddy said this, you have no choice. Your mother can see otherwise. So she will keep telling you that it is whatever your father wants that you must follow. So she will beg me day and night. No, no, no, that's what your daddy said. Your daddy said you must come back. You have to come back. So I got back without bringing in anything. I said my certificate and my passport. But to go be the glory today. So I have to go and serve in Bouchie because I wanted an escape route out of home. So and that was how I started. And I did my NYC. Came back to NYLIGOS. I got my job and I ended up in the Evans. And I ended, you know, started from sales rep. And I remember the day the way I saw the adverts. They said age 25. And I said at that time, I was 30 years. And I said, if what is the difference between 25 and 30? Whatever it is, 25 can do. I can do better. So when I got in for the interview, I said, they should please shortlist me. I was shortlisted and I got there. And I did interview. I remember very well. The man said, no, but you don't qualify. You are 30. I said, out of all, everyone here. Do I look 30? You know, I can do it. Just give me if I can't. If I fail in three, there are three or six months, please suck me. And throughout I rose from that sales rep through cost of services, managing the in and out of the products, both raw and finished goods. And I ended up, you know, retired as the commercial manager, managing the distribution and receive and distribution of raw and finished goods. So I am really like. And after that, I joined and, you know, I was commanded. I was only a girl among all this men. She was. Let me look at this. You don't look at the camera. Okay. How similar do you think we are? Well, I was similar determination to achieve. Okay. Okay. Yes. That is because even me, it was like, okay, no school fees is coming. No problem. I go to, I go to be, you know, to achieve my aim. I was not real. I was not feel. That's what I see in me. And I can see in you that you are determined to, you know, to make sure that you achieve the best in life. What it might be different from what I was expecting. It might be different from what you are thinking. Okay. But the basic thing is we both have a goal. We go to achieve. Mm-hmm. So. And in those days, when I was growing up, we are forced to, okay, this is what I want. You must do it. Yes. The kids of the children of nowadays, you have to. Password kind of. You know, puts your hand over their head and keep rubbing it. And say, no, shout, Joe. Please do it. Don't, don't do it this way. Do it this way. This is what is expected or false. Not because of fear, but because of the year after. So. So we're talking about that. One of the first things people know about me is whenever I talk about like, or my mom, my mom and I are really close. But I remember like when I first started doing social media, it was very hard to explain to you what I was doing or on why. And when you talk about like, what's been very different? I was being like, very similar in how determined we are. I think about how like, whenever I was doing that, I was saying, I know you like, when I see you like, when I'm like, oh, moment let's do a TikTok or come on my podcast. I see that version of you very well. Like I see how like, you are willing to always be there for me through everything. But there's always this hesitation. So why would you always say you're hesitating? Is it because of, is it because it's something new? Is it because of shame? Is it because of fear? Is it because what is it? Well, initially it was, I never knew it was this deep. And well, you know, that's a word, right? Yes. Like it's not that deep. Yes. It wasn't this, well, it deep, right? Yes. I think that's it. That's it. Yeah. So it's just like saying to me, you know, but I'm a good to you. So initially I find it so difficult to comprehend. It's affected my mental health. And what's, by the time I see people, family come into me and say, ah, system, ah, and see, ah, Elijah, better than God. She's not doing anything negative. She's not doing, if it is the other way around, what would you say? And that blah, blah, blah. So I begin to calm down, calm down to her level, saying that, okay, let me even go deeper. Let me see what is it. The only aspect we agree on. Is the hair. And my concern is on else wise. And then also, what are you doing? The woman is supposed to have hair on her head. Cover your head. And blah, blah, blah. Like if I talk to the brother, the brother will say, Mommy, you have trained us, you have taught us life. Yeah. So if we are doing otherwise, that is to our own instruments. It's an instrument. So it's not you. So please relax and let's your mental. Don't anything affect your mental health. Just be yourself. Be happy. See yourself as, look at the good things. And these are what your children and then make that to suit your heart. So tell me, do you think I'm a good child? Do you think I'm a good child? Yeah, a good child. What is the definition of being a good child? A good child is someone that would listen. And then if you are not going to do exactly what we have been asked to do, you want to show a reason why you are not doing it. Okay. Sure. And then a good child is, I've not, I've not had that you drink and then you fell in a zagota. And I'm the light. A good child is, you are not, it's not as if you have everyone around you and they are all main clustering about you doing all kind of nonsense. It's strictly your work and your work. That's true. So far so good that I know of. You know, and I don't think I want to doubt that. So it's been very hardworking. And I want to commend you for that. That you keep it up. But the only aspect, you know, where we always disagree, this is your world listening to us now. Yes. Not the whole world. It's like my part. Whoever is watching that all over the world. They are. They are. It's not just Canada. That's true. It's not just America. It's not just Nigeria. So we're all over. And I thank God for that. Okay. I want to say that I wanted this podcast episode specifically because whenever a lot of kids, people that follow me say that, how am I so bold online? How am I so courageous with parents who don't understand you or who don't know what you're doing? I don't want to, like, don't want to listen essentially. I have so many young girls who would be like, I want to chase after my dreams, I want to do all these things. And I'm always telling them, like, it's not as if my mom supports me 100%. Like, you might say, like right now we're recording. I walked out and she was like, I ain't not going to wear a jacket. And she was like, I ain't not going to do this. Like, I still, she still holds, she still tells me what the things that she doesn't like, but you're not imposing it on me. So what's some advice you have to parents listening, who have a child like me, who is stubborn, doesn't listen, who wants to do their dream by force by fire. But like, you still, you still show me love. You still show me respect. You still take care of me. Sometimes there was, there was never a time, besides the one time we were in Dublin, we're like, we stopped talking essentially. Like, we're always like, even if we're crying on the phone or we're shouting at each other, it was still like, it's all because I love you so much. It was not because I would ever say, man, my mom would never speak again. So what's some advice you have for parents who are dealing with a child like me? So to parents out there, I'm just one of you two, the best way to handle it is hand everything over to God, your Creator. It is expected of your belief, because for everything in life, you don't have control over them. That's true. It is your Creator. And for everyone has either our own way to live and how to go about it and how to achieve it. The best thing we can do is to guide them. Do it this way. This is how it is done. In our days, like, I was a day, I was talking to one of my friends and I was almost crying. Oh, well, maybe I was even crying. And then she said, Larry, what's it like? Big Macau, I know my world's pants. We're all pants, yes. But we don't go almost naked. But that's the society we are in today. We are begging and we are axing God to make sure that we don't just look at this world. We look at the hereafter, which is even more, more, more, more. On the rest of the years, the world is coming to an end. I've had this when my grandfather died for something years ago, or the world has still not ended. And so we're still not sure when the world is going to end. My mother died eight years ago, which was like the end. The world is coming to an end. So to us, we just have to be patient with them, let them see reason why we are guiding them. Just make sure that they don't go into drugs. They don't follow the negative side of the world. Once their emotions is for survivor, once it's for them to achieve their dreams, irrespective of whatever we think, we can only guide and then advise. And then if you send your child, like somebody said, you cannot throw the baby with a deity water. Okay. Then you can't throw out the baby with a deity water. So you have to throw the deity water and then keep watching your baby. And then no matter how bad a child is, you will not say, oh, okay. This necklace I bought is so good. I'm not going to put it on my baby's waistline as we talk it in Europe. Or when you only brew, brew the deity, I feel like I see the envoy lo me. So it wouldn't be that bad for me to now say, okay, Sophia, I don't want you as a child. I'm going to take the next door neighbor's child. It's not possible. Even if I do that. Well, you know some parents do that though. Some parents do that. Some parents say they don't want their child anymore because the child is not doing water. What? The parents want. They do have no choice. Whether they like it or not. It might be that period of time. And years to come, they'll go look for the child. But if you have to go look for the child, it might be too late. So that's why where you are doing it, where you spank your robe. So when you spank your robe, spank and robe is like, when you just make sure you do it. Sometimes me and she will always agree with them. We disagree all the time. And when I say, I won't call her. I won't do this. But at the same time, I will think about it that you are not obviously placed nights and you're saying, you're not calling. So just find out what she's doing. If you don't guide, if you don't monitor, if she knows that I'm monitoring her, if she wants to go 10 steps, she will probably go off. Or probably go two steps. Rather than going all the 10 steps. That's true. So that's what I have for mothers and fathers. You know, those mothers, some fathers will say, oh, she's on our own. The mothers will say, oh, she's mine. And then that could even divide the home. But the basic thing is, see it as your own and see it as a challenge. And put everything before Almighty God. It would always find a way through. For instance, I have families and friends that have come to me that, oh, the oddity, oh, she has changed my daughter's life. I was in a party. And you know, two ladies, two girls came to me. I said, oh, the oddity is mom. And I said, and they said, you have Sophie's mom. I said, yes, I am. And the next question I asked was, oh, did you go to home science? Because that's the secondary school. She said, no. No, they are following us on the Instagram or Instagram or whatever. And immediately I just said, oh, my God. And the girls now say, oh, mommy, oh, mommy, what happened in life? We thank God for your life. You have brought us, ah, she has impacted so much in our house, in my house, in my family, in this, and I was like, oh, my God. Something that me, I'm crying upon every day. This is my last trip. A lady went in on the flights, just said, are you Sophie's mom, the oddity, I said, yes, I am. She had to report that I first shy. It's a mixed feeling for me. I need to be to come out and say, you know, it's of here. It's a mixed feeling. But I want the best for her. I want her to achieve what she wants to achieve. A lot of people have done it. They might say, but don't leave the worship of Allah, your Creator. That is my, you know, that is where we stand. I'm sorry, five. We don't fight. We advise ourselves. Because all the glamour of this world is absolutely nothing. For whatever reason, I don't see why I just own my own child. I have, mommy, hold on, hold on. There is no way I will ever just own my own child. Even your brother, that I'm giving me so much. I don't believe you. Okay. I can't say, okay, you have to fight. Okay, if that's my own opinion, you don't got your own opinion, right? Okay. Yes. If I told you I didn't want to have kids, what would you say? And I know you tell me why you don't want to have kids. I just don't want, I don't want children. I just don't want children. I want to be an auntie. That's not possible. See what I mean? But that doesn't mean I'm going to disown you. Okay. So what would you do instead? Would you just stop me and stress me out? No, I wouldn't stress you. I'll keep telling you why you have to. Because number one, is a generation thing. Oh, my brother is already... My brother's name is still... Oh, my brother's already continued the generation. Oh, he has a boy and a girl. That's his own generation. Uh-huh. Who happens to you? I could always adopt. Or sorry, guessy. Well, whichever way you want it. Really? But I know that you wouldn't do that. Why not? Why not? Say it because you're in the Westown world, so you want to get... It's not the Westown world. I've always said it. You never ever said it. No. You've always said you wanted to have nine children. I did, boy. And then... No. And then because of your uncle's kids, you said, oh, this isn't... No, you only have five or six. So I don't know why you're not coming to zero. I feel like it's grown. No. But I'm growing up, and I'm learning a lot about myself, and I'm like, oh, I don't want that. But you see what I mean? I'm telling you something about myself, and you're like, no, that's not possible. Not my thing is for me to say no. No, it's not normal. No, it's not normal. No, it's normal. No, it's normal. You can't say no, but then that's it. So I'll now say, okay. Go ahead. No. I must say, go ahead. I'm just saying, you can say you disagree, but you can't say no about a decision that has to do with me and my body. Oh, okay. So I disagree. What if I said I never wanted to get married? Well, I disagree. Why not? I disagree. I don't want this situation. I would say I say no, no, no, no, no. I disagree. Why? I disagree. I can say no. No, I disagree. Don't worry. It's not mad. First of all, let's unpack the fact that my mom was our first guest. Guys, did you watch the freaking episode? I was so scared. Let me be very honest with you. First of all, if you've been following my vlog channel, you know that there's been so many videos in the past that I've talked about my relationship with my mom and how strained it was. I wasn't joking when I said she really would call me and say I was the worst daughter. She had regrets giving birth to me. I had aunties and uncles who I still, I don't have an uncle who I've not spoken to. In seven years, he does not speak to me. He doesn't want to give me access to his kids. He's literally in my family, considering me, the devil. They've said I am the devil. I have a cousin who I was really close to. I wanted to come fly out to New York to come see me. I think last year or two years ago, and her mom and my uncles were like, no. She's not coming to see you at the devil. You're going to corrupt her. I remember just feeling like the shittiest human. I remember feeling so bad. During that time, my mom just never supported me. I don't think it was from a lack of love. I think it was from a lack of understanding what I was doing. If everybody around her, especially because you guys saw in that podcast, she talked about how she's the first of 21 kids. I really think that my mom's siblings are her kids. In her head, they are her first kids. Of course, we're her kids too. I think for a long time, she struggled. She's not here to defend herself. I get it. But I'm not getting up with you guys. This is my podcast. It's not her podcast. I even don't know you guys loved her very much. That episode is doing so well. For me, I can tell the kids, her siblings, her kids first. She poured a lot of effort into kicking care of them, taking care of their kids, making sure they're all going to be successful. Trying to plant success in their lives, essentially. Whenever things like that would happen with my brother, she would feel caught in between two worlds of I want to support my own kids while also being like, hmm, I also want to listen to my siblings because I've known them longer. I feel like that's what I always felt like. There are so many times when she would call me and I just knew that. She wasn't cool with the shit I was doing. Well, she wasn't as mad. If you guys listen to that episode, my mom gets uncomfortable. She doesn't like when I show her skin. She doesn't like if I drink. She doesn't like if I do drugs. She doesn't like if I'm gay. She doesn't like if I'm not going to be Muslim. There are things I know she wouldn't like. I don't think she would hate me for it. But I think with listening to her siblings and our family, I think she would always feel like she had to present this strict I hate this kid because that means if she does that, then she's a better mom to us. So it felt like a full circle moment. Finally to just have that one and one with her. And it was weird because we actually have never had that conversation before. Me and my mom don't talk. I'm going to like sugarcoat it with you guys. Like we don't talk. Like we're not the daughter duo. And I also think I have very little patience because I get so scarred. Like imagine doing all of that dreaming big and like going to your mom because she's the only parent I have. And I'm being like, Mom, I want to do this. And she's telling you, you know, like, why do you want to do that? She doesn't understand. I always felt so closed off. So because of that, I'll just be like, you know what? I don't need to share. I'm realizing how important it is for me to have my family support me. I went through so much solo. And I have a really good support system, which is what the episode is going to be about. Like how my friends sort of like became sort of like my mom and replaced my mom because there's so many stories of me seeking community because I didn't have that at home. Like the oddity is not just a name for me. Like it was survival mode. Like I realized that for me to be the person I wanted to be, I had to be an oddity and feel it and own it and just be unapologetically me. And I got through it guys. And so like to have her finally be on the podcast. And mind you, I did not offer. Like I did not say what would you be on my podcast. And she should be said. So what am I going to be on the podcast? Oh, excuse me. My podcast. You want to willingly come on my podcast. Man, where's my mother? What have you done with her? Like that was the vibe. And she did really good. Like I don't know. Like I've listened to that episode at least five times now. Like just to listen to her side of the story and hearing her talk about, you know, going to the UK. If you've not listened to the past episode, you have to go listen. So no, this makes any sense. Just hearing her talk about her past living in the UK in a way felt like her lost dreams went into escape home. It just felt like she gets me. And she's a part of an alive right now where she's accepted where she is and all her choices. And all she wants right now is to just have a relationship with her kids. And I respect that. And I want to do everything I can while still being myself to also remember that my mom is also just a girl. Like my mom is just a girl. She's just trying to figure this life out too. She doesn't know how to navigate things. I don't know how to navigate things. But giving her this space to feel her feelings, while also giving myself space to feel my feelings, I think would help us in the long run. So I've gotten a lot of messages from you guys talking about like navigating your relationship with your parents. And I don't have any advice except like prioritizing yourself. I spent years prioritizing me. And I think she had to learn that I would always choose me in this situation. And she should also choose herself. And at some point when we both feel like we're at that space where we do not want to come together, we've come together now and we're both okay. Like she can, I literally told my mom, what if I don't want to get married? And she's like, well, I disagree. Like she didn't curse me out. She didn't say you're the devil. She didn't say. And I know because the camera was there, she's not going to say that. Well, even like when we're not on camera, she's not saying those things to me anymore. She's not letting aunties and uncles be crazy about me. I'm also 28 now. I feel like she's also like your other child is grown. Like she's not going to do. What can she do? You know what I mean? So I'm just, I'm grateful for that episode. It feels like the perfect first guest over the next couple of weeks as I travel. I'm going to be really, really interested in bringing on people that I love and I want to have on my podcast. What I mean by that is I think, I don't think there's any other podcast that got my two love. I'm not even going to front. Like I don't want celebrities yet. Yes. Yes. Yes. I still want some celebrities. I want some big people on here. But I don't want celebrities yet. I want you guys to hear from the people that have shaped me into being the woman that I am. I want you to hear from my friends. So for everyone who reached out about from the past episode, thank you so much. My mom is fine. She's been reading all the episode comments. She loves them. She's been wanting to go on Twitter. She wants to do TikToks together. She's very happy. She still wants me to have my nine kids. I don't know if that's going to happen. She still wants me to not be gay. I don't think that's going to happen. She still wants me to be modest. I don't think that's going to happen. She still wants me to grow my hair. I don't think that's going to happen. However, I respect that my choices still does not negate her love for me and I love her very much even though she does not support me. I don't know if things will ever change. I'm going to always stress my mom. I think that's the cross she has to bear to have her for having a child like me. But I love her very much. I'm just thinking about friendship right now. I'm like, okay. What would younger Sophie also like think? What did some advice I'll give my younger self about friends? I get friendships. And I think one of the biggest things will be go where you belong but also go where you're celebrated. I think so many people are stuck in relationships that are very toxic. And are unhealthy. And for me that oftentimes has shown up in my friendships specifically where I feel that need to show up for people too much and then they take advantage of it. So a lot of my younger self understand that like I need to go where I'm celebrated and go where I'm needed. Don't try to force friendships. That's the biggest thing. Don't force friendships. It's okay to let people go. I think in life I give people a lot of chances. And it's okay to give those friendship chances. If people have been very close to you about how they feel about you, let them do them. Let them do them. Don't stress about it. Don't fight it. Just accept it for what it is.