Tone deaf brand trips, Influencer Cliques: Am I Part of the Problem? | EP 14

Hey guys, if you're listening to this welcome to my to loud the podcast with Sophie aka the Autofee if you're wondering oh my god Sophie why is your voice so sexy and sultry I wonder why you feel better it's because I'm sick you guys I am on the brink of death god forbid that was so dramatic but I do feel very sick and if you've been following me across my platforms your goal has been traveling a lot I have been to Ghana I went to Nekker Island which is what this video is about I have been going just to different places and when I mean that I mean that like in the airport with germs I just want to see what that name sounds weird Nekker Island why would you interrupt my intro don't know what you want to be seen so bad I'm just saying you're out your eyes my editor you make sure you don't show donals face until I tell you key show donals face because don't want to do that thanks y'all as I was saying you're just gonna hear his voice until he gets out of until he gets out of detention I went to Nekker Island I have been on several planes and just cars and taxis and all this nonsense so your goal is just a bit congested I have going to test it for COVID for new road neuro virus for the flu and everything strep throat because I've been glocking and like just y'all I'm just telling you like they're like I'm fine I'm just congested and then the weather because I've been back and forth with like tropical weather and frozen weather because New York is freezing that's the only logical explanation of this so I'm very delirious right now I'm very tired so that means my lips are gonna be loose you're gonna be a bit lipsey in this episode and I'm also like drinking some red bull while I've just had Advil and I'm just a bit trucked up don't want to meet a pump truck so you can get all the information out of me today so we're gonna do that so welcome to the podcast y'all I can show Donald's face now I hello Mr. Donald I do not pump drugs the name does sound weird Nekker Island I can't even say it no you should say it Nekker Nekker I did not say that you're a ditty you're a weirdo Nekker Island Nekker and ECK okay let's talk about it real quick so guys if you click on this video the intro is clearly or the title is gonna be all about tart if you're like what the fudge is a tart tart is tart cosmetics it was founded by Maureen Kelly this white woman um 25 years ago in her like apartment in New York City I think now don't quote me on that go google it but what I will say is tart cosmetics has been like the pioneer for like clean beauty when they first started out like very fresh very clean but also was always like very middle-aged white woman young college white girl vibes right so what I was first introduced to tart cosmetics was in 2016 I believe when Jackie I know is a really big youtuber at the time she still is but I think she does everything now but she was like the top beauty guru youtuber Alyssa Ashley as well we're all talking about how non-inclusive tart cosmetics was so that's where I knew them from excuse me I need to stop belching on the podcast or farting honestly you guys I don't know what the fudge I'd be doing on this podcast I'm so sorry so I feel like I get comments every time about how like I need to just be a woman and like not be but you guys if I swear if I edited out every time I bailed on the podcast you would think I was crazy and if I kept it all in I might explode and you don't want me to explode it's not my fault I'm a bit gassy as a human I just let out a lot of things like when I eat I poop immediately like I just went to poop after eating the july frights earlier don't know like that's why I was shitting aren't there my that's why I just I think I look like this my head will be a lot bigger if I check things in I'm serious I don't know I forgot the 2016 so first of all don't interrupt me in my ramblings that's not fair you know let me be myself okay we've been cutscene out to all of like the farts and stuff and we're gonna put everything in thanks Donald I like that you make me feel special see also what about the person in fighting is not womanly yeah I don't say Jackie I know listen actually right and so it was like tar was an inclusive so over the years since 2016 till about 2020 tar has been known for making these elaborate influencer trips so they would fly folks on private suggestions to Bora Bora flying amounts to like Dubai like all these things and a lot of the times most of the time every time I was white women maybe a sprinkle a dash of inclusivity and diversity we also renew that there's certain brands that they just you just know that and I think my biggest thing with tar is the fact that like you know who the CEO is like Maureen Kelly is a very visible woman put that to the seconds we're gonna talk about that later so the tea so 2020 from 2020 till 2024 2022 right COVID happens the trip stop I think they stopped a little bit earlier before 2020 because I think just influence the trip to a big a big thing post pandemic tar comes out with like a huge Dubai trip mind you a pandemic just happened everyone is like going through it well all like no one has money like we're all trying to figure out what the economy looks like here they go flying a bunch of influencers on an all expense pay trip to Dubai and it's like a luxury private jet the whole nine yards internet goes crazy tart this tart are they still inclusive are they racist that I'm in my house hashtag trip and tar watching everything and in my head I'm thinking yeah this is weird this is a brand that like clearly doesn't give a fudge about black people or anything like that fast forward to a bunch of other scandals that has happened since that tart trip I think in 2023 or 2022 and from when the first time I finally got connected to the brand so there was some drama I y'all I'm on a drama podcast so if you want to hear this drama will like finally actually read up on it google it there's so many pages who have done like tea on like the tar drama but how I got really like into the tar drama was my friend Galoria she's an incredible tech talk beauty creator also the beauty creator in general she went on a trip to Turks and cacos with them and there was a drama with her and the team about inclusivity as well as another creator called shoddy sent Cynthia and there's also an f1 drama I know y'all there's so much drama around this brand it was also f1 drama with another creator bria around tarts not given equal rooms and also like not flying them first class enough flying them for the first day and second day it was very like interesting and whenever I say interesting the podcast because I'm really not wanting to say what I really really think just because I'm scared of what people would say and I don't want to fully give my opinions which is crazy because I'm a podcast as I might too loud don't know that you listen to this are you bored yet okay good tell me your board I know you know the drama don't also love the tea guys so here's the thing for bria jones this thing it was I believe I might be wrong here for bria jones it was it was f1 it was the weekend and they had passes for the entire weekend where they had passes specifically for certain days so like a big creator like Alex Earl had passes for the main f1 day where you'd see the actual race with like the big finale and maybe some creators had only passes for the first day some had only passed for the second day so it wasn't equal right so she came online cried and she was just like she doesn't feel like she's really respected and treated well internet goes crazy like tar that's not fair as a black woman again they hate us because clearly they didn't use to make our shades a couple of years ago the tea the second one was about I think about shoddy's sin and santheir in tuxen kakos where bigger creators or just creators in general who have the same following as her got different rooms so tuxen kakos they had different rooms in a bucket of villa right and santheir got put in the basement in the smaller room and a creator with the same following a santheir a white woman got put in a bigger room so if we were posting their room towards a room vlogs santheir was posting hers and the next thing we know we're like why santheir a POC in a basement while all of y'all are in bigger rooms right so that's what the drama came in now here's where I sort of like divest right because everything they're saying is so valid all their experiences are so valid me don't tell me how you feel when you hear those first of all let's start there making my heart burn why I like to feel like things are not done intentionally okay but unfortunately they are right so here's the thing I don't know the brand then and in this episode I swear to you one lie he tell lies somebody lie okay y'all I am not defending this brand in any way I was able to tell you a story okay because I'm a creator I can work for any brand I want to I don't have to work with tar or anyone else I just want to tell you all the tea I won't my opinion was because everybody told a friend and I was like whenever I get brand invites I struggle entitlement versus gratitude especially as a black woman in my head I'm thinking I'm just glad I'm there which I've also been told is a bad thing because you should take up space and you should feel like you you deserve all the good things so if you feel like you go to a brand event and this isn't good or you don't like this thing you should be able to speak about it I'm already like ha you even go to Turks and Kekos and you're sad like god give me the opportunity to go to Turks and Kekos but I've been I've learned and I've been told that that kind of thinking is not good because what happens is you constantly take less that you deserve because you're accepting less than you deserve so for Cynthia who had the audacity to like speak up about that like I because could never be me right because I didn't think I deserve to speak up and for Briya who said the same thing about everyone I'm like wow that's good like I wish I was that creator who wasn't scared enough to not speak out I don't know any thoughts on that no okay so let's keep going so fast forward to a couple of months I get an email from tar no I got a call from a friend and this friend is like I like to say she's a Michelle Obama of the beauty industry don't quote me on this you don't know her I'm not gonna say her name but she's a black woman who works under cover so like under to like sort of like push your beauty brands to be more inclusive she fights for diversity and inclusion within the busy industry in like incredible ways but I got a call from and she's like hey this might be shocking to you but I'm working with Tarte and we want to host like a creator dinner very or create a lunch very private very intimate we could pay for you Uber to get there we can pay for you to be there if you want we just want to hear you like this is a listening session nothing else I'm like you think I should be talking mind you I don't create beauty content and I'm also like why was she calling but also recognize that she knew that I have a degree in peace and conflict and also I have a degree in like facilitation and like conflict management so she was like if since I'm in the influencer space and I have that background she's curious to hear what I think about the entire situation I was like wow you guys don't pay so we go to this meeting right and I don't ask to get paid and I don't ask for ungetting Uber are you like let me just go by myself so in case I want to say some crazy sh I can we go to this meeting is a bunch of influences from New York folks are flown out from LA different different places and the Tarte team is there so the CFO Maureen Kelly the CEO and I think three or two other people who are all part of the brand and you guys it was about 12 to 15 black creators and we just go in like we're just telling them like your brand is trash your your products are trash for black people you're a trash brand you're mean we don't like you this is this like we go in and I'm telling you Maureen just sits there and she's just nodding and taking it and you could you know you like you know someone's like getting cursed out and they're trying their hardest not to curse you back that's how I felt what's happening she was just like okay I could and I feel like when she was trying to talk I feel like the team like girl you better shut if you're trying to say it just keep crazy listen so we finished the session and we leave that session with like an understanding that the team wants to change now you guys here's where I come in right because after that I realized the biggest issue with Tarte that I think is that the CEO is a very visible person and because of that people have a very weird responsibility or like weird access or conflict with this woman for that reason and so her brand is always gonna have that issue so for example the almost closest I can get to a Tarte Maureen is Charlotte Tilbury with Charlotte Tilbury cosmetics right but Charlotte is like UK-esque like vibe so I feel like that's also different because she also probably deals with a lot of shit because honestly Charlotte Tilbury is not as inclusive as you all think like I love their setting spray and like maybe a few concealers but Charlotte Tilbury is not inclusive very very similar to Tarte but Maureen Kelly gets a lot more flack for a lot of reasons that are definitely valid because the brand has shown a lot of problematic behavior over the couple of years right here's the thing so she says that she talks to us after that we get an email six months later they like outline everything they've done differently they hired different consultants they created a different formula brought off like 50 different new shades very diverse very inclusive donated to different causes donated to teachers like I was like oh damn like I just thought that this listen session yes it like you're done because I actually also found out I think black people make like 3% of their market based so they don't have to be doing this so I was like oh I now feel confident speaking on this brand if people ask me not necessarily to defend the brands I don't know them from anywhere they're showing me they can change right and similar with cancel culture I always feel like we tend to have a lot of uproar around different things and then we don't sort of like look for change anymore we tried to do everything has to be perfect which is not true thoughts download so I feel like I'm rambling am I rambling I mean it's actually being a good storyteller yeah I think it sounds so good like I have thoughts about I think you want to wait yeah okay so that happens so after a while I get invited to Bora Bora we go to Bora Bora there's a lot of discourse around like influencers and spending money on influencers and out of touch influencers and our terrible it is and black girls going to untart trips because like we don't like you know there's but I know what I have personally a terrible brand and they hate us and they're racist and all this other stuff which it's all valid but my biggest quote to all of that is my existence is simply resistance if I didn't go on those trips I'm either going to be replaced by a white girl or another black girl is going to go and she's going to get the same exact flag so at what point do we allow a brand seek growth I'm almost saying we have to be the you know judge an executioner here but at what point do we say okay this brand is changing there's actually proof that they're changing let's see how we can work with them and this is just me I'm more defending them again I'm just telling y'all that's exactly what it's been in my head so I went to Bora Bora last year it was amazing I floaked the entire thing I came back and there was a lot of drama around like how out of touch brand trips are but what's funny to me is that brand trips are happening with other brands but Tari gets a lot of the fuck for it and I realized yes it seems like Tari is very ostentatious they're very big but I don't know if you all notice but Tari doesn't necessarily like pay their creators the entire year I think their marketing simply is these brand trips and then TikTok shop and affiliate marketing like I think that's and I might be wrong here I'm not the marketing officer but I know other brands that like spend a lot of money on like influencer marketing paying creators to do X, Y and Z and then they have like one or two brand trips are not as big and I feel like all that money that all these brands are spending Tari just invests in these really big trips I guess a lot of people talking good and bad and then you know you get paid through like affiliate marketing I know a lot of people who've sides have changed because of Tari trips because if they go on the trip they get the views they start working with affiliates they get paid through Tari's affiliates they get more eyes on their content they make business I know a bunch of creators who've done that so I think that's their business model so I go on board board I get a lot of flak I wasn't like the news about it but as a black girl I never in my wildest dreams thought I would be going to board board right and even what crazy it was like I love the conversation was only about the white girls who went because they're entitled they're rich girls they're rich influencers and I'm like the influencing world if you think influencers are making money right now like not a lot of us are I am so grateful but like we're not some rich girls who are like just standing here a lot of creators are just no one people like you who just happen to pick up the camera and say I want to share my life and a lot of times it's struggle it's excitement it's stressful so events like that and brands trips like that mean so much to those kind of creators and so even for me like thanks for the experiences of a life I never thought in my wildest dreams that I'll be going on another trip with them like a private jets to a private island like my head I was like that's crazy I would have never thought this Nigerian young girl would have done that and of course there are girls with that ship who could afford it like I know Alex or I went on the trip like that and she was like you know rich girls they could I don't know if she can go on private islands and private jets but like they're rich kids you know everyone is on these trips right they do like give away when it's and all that stuff so it's just insane to think about how people's lives are changing as well through trips like that because it might not seem like a game I seem out of touch but peper mayo did a brand trip recently where they were also flying a bunch of white girls in a private jet love peper mayo they still never work with me shout out to peper mayo work with me they never very very rarely work with dark skin black girls I'm just saying I'm just some letting you know and they were on the private jet flying girls so Australia I wish I was there I buy their stuff that's all all my all my vacation officer from peper mayo know that I'm calling them up what I am this year I get a call from my friend Sonia and Sonia Barbie's another creator and she's like hey Sophie are you going to tar email what tar email because usually they get their did your trips at the beginning of the year she's like oh well like tart is going on another trip and I was like oh well it might I didn't expect them in fact me again you know what I mean but she said oh like I'm going on a trip I'm going invited did you because she just assumed I would be invited and I was like no I didn't get invited like well good luck and go she's like oh she wants me she wants me to plus one and you guys is so random that I felt weird about being the plus one because I felt like I'd already I'd already done it and I've already had my own time I wanted someone else like just go and have fun and I also felt weird that I wasn't invited to and then so I go back to like that entitlement I was talking about because I was like the brand knows me they've had a relationship with me I introduced them to Sonia and a bunch of other creators like they have a connection to me I talk a lot about the one like they're normally defending them but honestly like defending them and like defending my choice of working with them so might I was like why am I going to even go on this trip like now I get it like fuck them I don't want to go Sonia sends the brand and they're like oh I'm bringing Sophia's a plus one I got a text message from the CEO and she love from the CMO I don't wonder what her role is but she's a big wig and she's like hey Sophie we're so sorry we hope you don't we met no disrespect by not inviting you simply just thought like the island we're going on you might have some visa stuff because last time I had some visa issues watch my vlog if you're looking for ghost search like oddity diaries bored bored as to figure out how I haven't managed to travel to board board then because they they they did a lot of works to get me there so she's like I apologize like we don't mean no disrespect but we would really love for you to come with Sonia like we love you we love your content all that stuff and I it took me like a week and a half to figure if I wanted to go or not because I really was feeling like I was feeling entitled I remember we talked about entitlement versus gratitude was like should I actually go for this brand trip or should I stay but I'm glad I went because it was also just so much fun and like I just I felt like the fact that I thought I was only going to get that one experience and it goes to do it again was crazy so yeah that's my like no tart intro story about tarkas medics I think it's interesting that like the CEO because she's vocal and because of all the trips and everything they have going down so because of the trip and everything they have going on yeah I think it's kind of like a skip good thing yeah I also think it's reparations which is bad yeah like being the example I think all people don't give credit yeah because and this is not me trying to look at this from like the other side right but there's a lot of credits in doing the uncomfortable yeah it's so hard like because to be honest I get it if they can relate because the amount of work they're going to have to do to be able to understand like the thought process of even you even existing day yeah are they doing too much yeah should they do less what exactly should they do how sensitive do you know what are all the things that you have to take right so I get it but the fact that they even put in themselves and because they're a lot of like you said they're a lot of brands who aren't yeah I think we've even got the crazy thing like the snow is snowing when I tell you guys it's so crazy how like it's so funny how I I feel like star is the scapegoat but there's so many brands who just get away with it like they just get it like I go to brand events that I'm the only black girl there and this is something that happens way too often but there's no enough eyes on it right because nobody knows who the head of this brand is like I don't know who owns Lancôme or Elf I say like that the last thing is like we're even talking about the popular brands right that's true the ones were smaller youth fucking for you the brand I did the whole black face day yeah yeah there's rooms and their places where like and this is not just a makeup thing right in general like yeah there's some places where we've gone to and I'm like how not to be so uncomfortable it's crazy because you guys some like I didn't even know this existed so like this and the thing's happening on the daily basis like yeah we don't because I feel like for people who have called like most times won the internet yeah and that's where it happens yeah like off the internet like where these are shaking shaking you know it doesn't come out it doesn't come out it's so interesting but yeah you guys I went on the trip and the trip was really fun and I think what was crazy about this particular situation was tar just has bad luck because literally this trip I know they've been planning for a year because it's like the 10-year trip in Taran University the LA fires okay I have a perspective on that okay I understand that okay they had booked everything and stuff yeah you think they should have postponed the trip no okay why because I think people always need an escape and for a lot of people that was an escape not for most people but for a lot of people if we reacted every single time around everything that happens in the world nothing would happen it's so sad this is so sad to say out loud this is so sad but like I couldn't decide today not to work at all because of the crisis happening in Congo yeah because if I constantly read the news and look at NGO reports and everything like that I would be crippled with anxiety and guilt about living life when the people in the world who are suffering and struggling right I think the same thing about Gaza happening right now I said same thing about LA there was a school shooting in North Carolina there was there's a volcanic eruption right now in Hawaii the list goes on and on and on and on I mean a market is burnt down and gone and people lost a lot of their belongings like war is ever present strife and struggle and everything is ever present and maybe a friendship is in the best thing to apply to this right but what I'm trying to say is there is always something going on in the world and the best thing you can do is simply accept it and do your best to navigate how to do it I think they did and that was my biggest thing right so like immediately I saw the LA fires I literally called my friend who heads their DEI and I said what are they doing about this because I know they can't postpone this it's already like two days before the trip is supposed to be happening how are they going to make sure this doesn't get a lot of flak and they were like oh we're donating $250,000 to LA fire department on behalf of every creator we're donating $10,000 and then with 25 creators as far as $40,000 they're also donating all the things they invested in the room to people who lost their belongings in the fire and we can also donate our stuff to the people too mount clothes that done like that's that's a good thing because what if they had to postpone the trip and not done anything at all I think the question is when we did trip happened yeah or even like when is it going to be okay no that like then what right like if they postponed the trip nothing happened and they didn't do anything maybe wouldn't have heard they didn't need to do anything right because I wonder if they did all of that because they knew they were going on this trip or were they going to even do it anyways because of what was going on LA you never know yeah but my thing was no matter what the intention was people were getting money and support and help through this entire experience and everything and event we did yes we're having for more taking shots all the stuff literally I'm telling you like at some point felt crazy having to them remind us oh don't worry about it like we're paying this we're doing this like I we played musical chairs on the second day we're there and the winner got $10,000 to the LA fire department I won miss koo chairs and I really when I heard $10,000 I thought it was for me personally and then I saw the check and I wasn't upset you know what I mean I wasn't upset at all I just was like okay yeah that's okay I'm good yeah cuz I really was like oh shit I want they're like no Sophie we're donating this all your behalf I was like you should absolutely no I've been like a thousand dollars for me no no so I'm not sad I didn't just push someone off their chair for this win cuz I thought I did it for the cause yeah that hurt a bit I'm not gonna lie to you if I want to be honest but yeah it's so they did that so I think everything's nuanced right and like this is not me defending this brand anyway I don't even know if I'm gonna go on any other trip with them because I feel like I've done it and I'm really just grateful for the experiences boys I think something like I feel like they get a lot of hate you know they get I'm even like trying to even defend them because honestly y'all there's been a lot of more brands who are terrible to me that Tara has been like in many ways I feel like I even enjoy the fruits of the labor of the folks who are constantly telling them to be better for us you know what I mean like for the amount of people who told Tara or tell Tara every time your racist your terrible we hate you they're like how do we prove to them that we're not and then they spoil black creators you know I mean the ones who are willing to listen to them because the funny thing is I know so many friends who got invites to go on these trips who said no simply because they're scared that the internet is gonna say one thing or the other but then when the internet does come back and say oh they hate black creators it's because your black creators don't want to work with them because of their history so the cycle will always perpetrate itself if you say okay they don't want to work with black creators so they reach out to black creators and say no you didn't want to work with us and I'm not gonna work with you so they continue working with other creators then they never work with black creators and so you're gonna continually telling them you hate black creators you're not gonna work with us so there's no solution but the little amount of black creators who are like scared because I will I'm always scared to talk about this and I just like hey I'm actually doing my research I see what you're changing I see what you're up to let me be interested in it I'm going through it right now you guys who aren't going through use to it like where the ones who are able to like get like spoiled and like just accept it and we're able to like not only teach them because it's not our job but to show them and so creators show creators who look like us that you're deserving of love and enjoyment in this way like it doesn't only have to be these creators who don't look like you if that makes sense so it was fun though I think I won't because I've done it like I feel like it's becoming obnoxious going on and if I go on a private jet next year that's crazy like girls sit out like what do you mean unless it's my private jet what about Tokyo oh I feel like someone another brand can take me I feel like I might I think this might be my last hard trip I think another brand because like the hard trips are not it's just partying yes they give away a lot of stuff but it's really just like partying okay I have a question oh my days Teca was my makeup look like what keep it all the same because you guys need to know how much love it happens freaking podcasts I love so much what's like you I deal like if you want to try kind of brand trip yeah because like you said like the hard trip is like alcohol over this no no I'm finished okay I don't want to say it's not all that it is but like so basically how the tar trips usually are is like there's a lot of liquor it's a lot of partying so basically breakfast a beach activity or like a fun activity you do together and then you go to dinner and then like it's a tar after dark where like it's drinking shots partying all that stuff right for Bora Bora we had like you know swimming with sharks and I think we had like paddle boarding and skiing like water activities for this particular trip there wasn't a lot of that like we did a hike around the island and because it was in private islands initially we went to Richard Branson the umseo like founder of bugbridge and voyages for your Atlantic his private island so they because see lemurs and they have water activities but like it wasn't we're going on the scursions right we're not doing like very like fancy educational stuff which is totally fine right because there's certain things that you just know like for this island it wasn't going to be to do ideally for my dream brand trip it would probably be similar like definitely more excursions or like something I'm learning about the brand like quarterly is a skincare brand that flew creators of France and quarterly that they do wine okay um and they also do skincare so like for their brand trip you're going to the wine country you're going to do wine tasting you're learning about the history you're going to get food and do french cuisine and you're going to a french class like additional stuff like that to make it a full experience like I know their biggest tarts biggest thing might be like their maracuzzi lip oil and I think that's going in Brazil and the amazon but like they can't go there because it's not safe for you know Brazil but like stuff like that was like okay how do you make it where can we learn about it like some of that that's like exciting invigorating and just more than like shots and parting and stuff now maybe they're gonna do that in the next trips in the trips to Alvin because if we went to essence fest and it was mostly just going to essence coming back like it was any vibe we wanted like this alcohol is food is drinks but again it's very much like it's just vibrant party like the vibe is you come to a tart trip to have a good time this is crazy right here I know it's crazy I'm so sorry guys I'm actually not because I'm going through it but yes so I think I'll be one of my ideal trip was and this trip was fun I got to meet love island girls so live june what love island USA the girls right there they're really really live was like crazy like she's exactly what she was on love island june was exactly who she was a little killer was they were all exactly what they were on love island we just they were like very human and we saw other creators Brianna chicken fry was there these are all white girls by the way except for june Brianna chicken fry was there can you rich you rich was there as well and if you don't know any of these people is because like I'm too deep in internet drama you guys like I feel like I'm not having as big as I need to get yet because they want to see I know about these creators it's crazy like I mean like before I'm I went there I knew more about them what is that what does that dynamic like I'm telling you this fuck I don't do well I'm just gonna be I'm gonna be in shambles what am I doing wrong or do I don't know because I feel like first of all I'm wasting paper save the trees I don't think it's supposed to even use paper towel I don't also see this tissue she has a lot more like actually like a fiber because of the chemicals do you have fiber for me so how are you helping me right now let me cry just give me a minute let me just soak it up I'm listening just ignore me so what was that experience like what experience because I feel like okay we know a lot about pop culture right yeah and the next thing we're about to talk about is like the whole conversation about like the things that we do right so we're creating a lot and the things that you are creating not being amplified enough right so when you're in that space we're like okay you're in a room with a bunch of creators you know so much about yeah what's that dynamic like well creating so much I feel like content is not like our content like immigrants black people yeah it's not as magnified let me tell you the story so I know why you brought that up so I was telling Donald when I first came out like wow like I was trending if you all don't know I went to Ghana for this December if you're a new listener I'm Nigerian but I went to Ghana for this December and this December is going to this is a podcast episode but I went to Ghana for that I'm just going to work in one of my notes right now leave me up yeah you need to guys if you're watching this I'm really I'm going through please like and share and post this this podcast on that you're fit to I was on the phone with Donald and I told him I was like it's so interesting how when I was in Ghana anything I did would trend right and I wasn't like crazy but I would just hear people say oh my god I saw you in the blogs I saw you in the blogs and as an as an African in diaspora the idea that when we're home or folks are home just get a lot of news about them because there's a there's an eco chamber as a space a ecosystem has been built because duh everybody looks alike everybody lives in the same place like it makes sense that if there's a celebrity in Nigeria there's celebrity news and it's specific to Nigerian celebrities and then celebrities across the world who are Nigerian and have a Nigerian descent in black people blah blah you get the point it's interesting because in America I mean the majority white country it's a fact like this is just me we talk about this alone in the podcast but I mean the majority white country and I can never trend the same way white people do right because Remi Bader a cool friend of mine she's also a content creator she's an amazing human as well I love Remi she was like so sad the entire trip and I was like are you okay she was like well like not really because she knows the blogs are gonna like take this and run them with them I was like what do you mean like yeah I guess I'm flak as a creator for going on the tart trip but like I'm not getting flak from CNN or the cut or Rolling Stone like yeah my gay people saying oh if that girl she's a sellout maybe no one has ever been told me that like I don't get the back press maybe three or four people other black creators like if when we get comments is honestly from our own people not from other people I'll give you a second so Remi is talking about how the cuts just posted a story about her husband who's a creator that I didn't really with or no and Ken Eurich who I really liked Ken is chaotic it's like like she's got some guy British guy on the trip like iconic fucking moment she posted about the two I want to do shit like that I want to fuck someone to come and tell y'all not because of anything because I just chaotic and I love chaos like that I've done that before I would never post about it because y'all cancel me quick as I was saying so she talk about how like the cut and I'm like the cut like that's huge posted a thing about her she feels really bad other pages are like posting about her and she's in the discourse and I remember smiling so I'm thinking I finally get it like they're mainstream because they are the majority so imagine a writer writing about the tar trip how almost time most of the time those writers are white right and a lot of times they would not seek out the POCs or the black girls in the trip to talk about the trip they would most of the time go to the easily recognizable faces their names that are mainstream like Remi Vader and asked when these white girls Brianna chicken fry who's now like a sports illustrator swimsuit model not creators like us because we are not the majority and we're constantly fighting that wall that's been put you know what I mean like if I think of a big black creator who might have gone on the tar trip I'm think Janay of Logan she's huge in my head but she was not any mostly any news like it was very and was really around love Island not her herself the biggest thing I can think of is like if Jackie and I go to the tar trip and I also can't imagine the cut of rolling stone talking about Jackie like that you know what I mean like because we're not mainstream and I hate that because I'm like I finally understand the battles I would have to face to be successful in the country like America because Donald Trump is about to be president right and like if you guys might say well why are you always talking about race it's a fact like we need a DI program for for two higher reporters I'm telling you I mean because like imagine a creator creator trying to come and do like oh so if you have to it bro how do you spell that do you okay they're going to it's just racism and like this is so deep how many black security is right how many black reporters I've been talking about like black culture but even in that in that sense that are talking about black culture and mainstream culture it doesn't mix yeah as well as it should because like it's not integrated enough and it can't be America is such a cool place and I say cool knowing a positive way and maybe not in a negative way just in a neutral fact America is such a cool place because yes is a melting pot very similar to like the UK or any colonized country any country that I or anyone who looks like me is not the majority right because I think about it and I'm like yo that's crazy like today we're just talking about how I've been wanting to look at trends and how that applies to a lot of things and a blog post in Nigeria posted me on Twitter and I remember going wow I kind of mentioned a blog post in America posted by me what blog post would that be without being the shade room without being the shade borough without being melanin shade room like yeah I mean like what blog post do we have right what means like the cut I keep saying the cut rolling stone ad week like like if Jackie I know was in the cover of people's magazine I mean people from across the engagement will be lower because white girls don't care like some do I was funny because we would think Jackie is like whitewashed which is crazy because she's the closest we have to breaking that majority minority complex and just existing in a world where she's unapologized to clear herself and that's what I aspire to do with this podcast and just in general like have these weird tough conversations because like we're not I'm not like anything I just say right now like just take a second to think about it think about a dynamic here in America because I honestly I'm even able to break down more than existence we say because I assimilate like on the tar trip I'm the creator who is meeting all the other creators to talk to my my content I'm going past my comfort zone I'm cold switching I'm and I don't have to right mind you I don't have to but the money is ready why people are I'm not gonna lie to you okay because it's a majority white country and it's so sad and unfortunate because you're having to fight tooth and nail to get that I don't even know how we got to this conversation but I just I think it's interesting because when I see that blatantly reflected in my face it just gets really like sad yeah no because I'm sure everyone is also thinking about right but I'm having those thoughts because I know you I'm seeing you in that space I'm seeing you make a video and this degree it's and unfortunately like I'm thinking about 10,000 things thinking about like okay how do you feel in this setting how you moving are you can tell how exhausted I am yeah I came back exhausted yeah and I it's because like I have to do the dance I like no one knows I say this all the time like to succeed in America you have to do a dance like a little dance like Kevin Hart's dances a lot differently than Kevin on stage is dancing Esa Rae Siza Kiki Palmer you know what I mean there's a dance you have to do succeed in this country that's what I like to say so she being a P.O.C. your black person and we have like outliers who like break that mold but a lot of times those outliers have to and when he keep Parker I think that's her name on TikTok said this shit and you'll drag her for feels remember what she said she was like oh to succeed you have some majority white audience they're like not so true let me tell you the reason why it wasn't received is because yes you can have a majority black audience and black people can make you succeed why suits you would like to like somewhat be like you are not succeeding as much as that black creator who has a majority white audience you might think you are well there's a difference between Lupita Nyongo, Biola Davis, Gabrielle Union, and Tara G.P. Henson so would you say is a white audience or diverse audience? white audience because they're the majority like think about Kevin, Kevin Hart, Kevin and Dave Chappell and even those two like I'm becoming pretty sick like Dave Chappell is very much like still directly speaking to the black audience but even then like Dave Chappell still is very like his audience is like trying to be diverse right like breaking that mold think about Kevin Hart in the same way too like Kevin is everybody can get it like I want money from all the verticals like give me this white man can give me money money this black person can give me money all of you give me money right that's how it is like Tyler Perry wasn't a bubble until he had to start breaking out to him and say well let me partner with you let me tell our story is there is the same way with Barbie I do think that like integration can work because think about Kevin Hart and Dave Chappell how do we introduce yeah right I think the way introduced that audience the way introduced into spaces where like white people existed I think the way the way to universally be accepted in the spaces really diverse I'm not going to say only these three things about comedy so laughter dance is a huge bringing people together kind of thing in art in many ways right like stuff like that where it's universal yeah if it doesn't matter what you look like if you make me laugh I can love and support you but I love the conversations we have and other creators like we look to if it comedy can also be very direct and niche right Easter race comedy is very black girl center depending on your platform exactly right yeah yeah yeah versus even like Kevin or like Trevor Noah with the Daily Show do you know what was also like Isaac's over the white and black audience I make when you Trevor Noah was when he was a comedian exactly that's true so it's so different and I think again it's just the nuance of living in America I like it I like it because it pushes me to ask myself different questions I know that I would be very successful if I lived in Nigeria and I know that for a lot of people like the accessibility to success is not as hard because you don't have as many bridges to burn and break and I just I know some of the things was in tart I suppose in tart tart conversation I think when I was on the trip it was so clear to me how hard I would still always have to work as a black girl no matter what and this was not because of the brand we just because of the nuance of who I am as in my existence as well so it was pretty interesting I don't know I like it I like it it's interesting it's weird it's different it's also frustrating because I now I'm constantly reminded that I have to work 20 times as hard which we hear all the time a little nervous says the same thing like rock away and played less than that we hear all these a lot and I can either choose to stay true to myself and this is maybe very honest stay true to myself and just like work with what I can do or step out of my comfort zone I still and to expand my interests and still be me at the same time and the thing with me is success I think is what I'm looking for and I want right because I want to break every barrier because I want to be the African girl who is able to show the world who I am unapologetically and I don't want to change that but I also realize and recognize that the space I'm in requires me to mold and morph and move and wiggle without losing I think I'm all like a jelly and a jelly in a maze right like I'm not necessarily like losing my bits I'm just swiggling wiggling wiggling pulling into the corner moving shifting because I know I have to do that to survive it just feels like constantly living America survival and when I was in Ghana I felt so fucking free right I was Ghana was also like a brand trip with Afro feature and like I was just navigating like experiences with people who look like me and the bloggers and the content everything it was easy and tart wasn't easy it was just strategic and uncomfortable right and I think to breach success I also need to understand and adapt to those kind of spaces too because if I was in Australia I think I'll deal with the same thing cause in Canada I don't say that if I was in Europe I'll deal with the same thing if I'm anywhere that isn't what I'm used to if any falls into makeup or Brazil honestly because there are different nuances to culture and traditions that you also have to morph and shift through that I'm really like learning so I think that is really cool you guys I hope that was like too deep or too weird and all over the place like I'm really just rambling I'm not some expert in political society issues I'm these are just like my opinions that might be a bit loud but we're always on the podcast so I really enjoyed I enjoyed what tart brought out of me because it constantly lets me realize that I'm doing my best I also like why girl culture is crazy like what you're in it ha ha hey those girls are crazy details they do the things I'm telling you we don't have enough drama I'm telling you shame you know that I'm telling what you're talking about I'm telling me sit down probably I'm moving this mic white girl drama chef's case oh they do a lot like I'm telling you to be born a white girl is like you just uninhabited like you're just vibing oh yeah I see a British man I'm gonna go fucking ha ha I will lie let me say I shall fuck the driver in that trip if I can say it out loud with my mouth if they don't drag me more be me that or lie won't be me that I can't do it I wish I could I want to fuck too I don't I don't I'm a new woman but you know what it's so different don't know like why skinny dipping we're just running around hey hey hey hi hi your titties out oh my god you know I just got it what you said skinny dipping three times like naked in the pool just for fun oh like I swear I can't imagine going on a black trip with all girls on a brand trip where a brand flea was out and having the fucking audacity to say let's go skate what's scared what if they go south oh see they console us we can't do it shame shame is a drug because to see like to watch them simply exist so free in America is like the privilege of that because it's like the the privilege the thing about it right it's like you want to make a decision your first thought as a black person is an immigrant whoa my mother yeah that's the first thing I don't think what would life sorry what would life say I can't do it I did it I skinny tips with them I was the only gay I was really black here it shows this so they look at me like I was crazy so it was like because I think the running thing with everybody on the trip was like so feel like how are you in everyone's group because I would say hello to everyone so I like it like I like to get to know people who don't look like me I think that's how you move faster in life because you also like you learn a lot like I'm telling you the knowledge I have now about this people on their drama it's crazy and it's also like it's also fun because I'm able to it makes me have audacity and that's such a weird thing to say maybe but as an immigrant it feels like I constantly have a bird's eye view into American politics and society politics right because my my thing is my home training is like I'm Nigerian and I've lived in America now for 10 years and I just like peeking in I'm looking at like everyone from like from the outside looking at I'm like oh I look at that black girl and how like she's in with these other black girls because those white girls are crazy those white girls are never gonna go see high to that black girl and looking at me and Sonya send a corner because we're like they don't have enough food I don't want to eat rice I'm trying to eat chicken wings and fries the nuance is crazy yeah a lot of people see it as a weakness but it's actually a strength it's a strength to be able to like see these pockets that we have I think college also help me a lot because I think leaving going to college in America helped me see this a lot more and I just I can't imagine not going to college like school here yeah and existing America you know what's crazy that's no I feel like even people I went to college did not choose to simulate I think that's an interesting thing I did like when I was in college I was a part of the orientation staff I was I was a resident assistant like I made sure I was in the mix and I feel like my friends are laughing a lot about it because like Sophie like my injured business goes to town like because this is it the immigrant path my uncle wanted for me was go to school pass have good grades come back home for the summer you stay and hang out with your aunty and me and the local community Nigerians go back to school do the same thing come back and hang out go back to school get a good job from home to work local community and that's it because you're in the Nigeria church it must be a mosque because you're Nigerian you stick with an Nigerian immigrant crowd there there's a lot of kids who grew up that way Sonia as a serialian in immigrant I thought she grew up she's lived in New York all her life but in Sweden it's very African she's a excuse me she's a very African girl told her name under one of my friends in Jersey same thing she grew up in a very Nigerian pocket in America like Newark Jersey is a very African heavy community so you can choose to live in America and no experience any of this chaos and just sit in your bubble because America allows that luxury right I think the beauty is to explore part that's why I feel like I'm an oddity right to explore past that because to succeed in this country is to also push past it because you have to understand the dynamic of everything happening like on the trip I think I was noticed more because I pushed past the uncomfortable and wanted to seek out the friendships right and one thing is to be very very clear if there are 15 white girls on the trip maybe five of them would speak to me unless I spoke to them like there's one person like creator I'm not gonna say her name who did not even pretend to give a flying fudge and she has a black husband so we even say hello to any of the black creators of people see colors like not she did not even entertain it like she didn't care like will be a breakfast and she would say with her two friends and they would just even ignore it was another creator who was POC who's actually of German descent who was crying because she was like she felt so uncomfortable and hated because that creator just made us feel uncomfortable and of course she didn't think targeting us she just you know where someone just like ignores you because it's no need to even entertain you know I mean like and that's what the life of a white girl in America is there's no need to bother yourself unless you actually give a flying f*** there's no need to bother yourself about the black girls and I'm so unfortunate because I think about it because that's true like everybody else the drama with Alex all in finita I'm talking a lot today I love it and that's me being sick you're cool this way to right uh Alex all in finita and I remember all the comments of finita whether it dragging her and and Alex her was just do do do do do do do do do do do do do do just not bother like in the sky and I remember there was one coming to suit up with someone said I want to what she's gonna say about finita and Alex her goes like who's that or what's that right because she it wasn't even in her like the population of black girls following her was so tiny this woman didn't know I mean think that it was black girl drama happening the algorithm is like like what you know I mean like she's just chilling that's in me so interesting but no I enjoyed it like I enjoy the chaos that it always brings being in spaces like this I think it's important to have it sometimes it's exhausting like when I came back I was so tired like I just called donalds deep if I call my friends my accent switched like that I was like let me tell you what just happened because these girls are crazy but it's fun too because I'm like wow like I want to experience uninhibited privilege and fun in that way that they can I can't because I just look different if I was in Nigeria or Ghana or anywhere where I'm that's home from me I can enjoy that you know I mean and even then it's the only thing making me know I enjoy that is shame right and that's pretty much it and shame I can handle um racism I can't isn't that crazy don't really be racist in my character because we've been dealing with this shit since we came here before we end it and let me see if I can give you all some tea real quick if you guys don't know Brianna chicken fry borah borah last year I met Grace O'Malley and this year I met Brianna chicken fry I just want to say nothing you see on the internet is actually true I don't appreciate people who fake empathy for sympathy when you're actually not that way in real life so that was interesting to like finally meet Brianna and like see that difference because I've been seeing everything that plays out online I'm just quiet about it and I'm like you know I wish you guys knew besides that I think it was fun like I met Mei Mei I've met her once at the Steve Madden trip so Mei Mei is always really cool she's this really amazing Asian creator who's just like she's the sweetest soul video was really cool she's a mom she's amazing like it was actually fun I think you were how many creators wanted true I think 25 25 but yeah but it was because in the more you're like let's cause some creators didn't post right and it was funny because a lot of the creators who didn't post were black creators because they were scared of the backlash they were gonna get and some white girls just didn't give a shit you're supposed to about it and then so they just wanted to wait to see what people think about the LA fires before they posted but my problem with that for a lot of influencers is we are lying like you want to post right just post yeah you just it's like I wonder if people oftentimes realize that you're getting played online right like if I didn't post but I was at the trip I'm a liar because the person was posting that telling you to not post I didn't know post I'm on the trip leaving my best life so I still did what I wanted to do right because I'm not showing you doesn't mean I'm still not a bad person for not doing it so what's the difference between posting and not posting and the politics of maybe I'm gonna win feels like a weird time one is not gonna be a weird time you know I mean like at what point would things not be bad or good or whatever I think that was my issue for a lot of reasons and I was just like when I see stuff that happen with like black lives matter or you know bad LA fires the Gaza situation and we're like telling you a favorite influencer you should post right now you should do this and they post but you don't know if they actually don't need to know because sometimes they don't tell you know you guys they don't it's performative activism performative creating performative this and that they did it like it's such a weird play man and I enjoy it because I feel like I hope you guys know that if you're on my page and on my my platform I'm not pretending I talk a lot of nonsense I'm gonna edit this podcast and some things I'm gonna be like I really shouldn't say that but I'm gonna post it anyways because I would not be myself if I didn't show you guys who I am at the expense of getting misconstrued because social media is a scary place but you deserve a voice and everyone deserves a voice too I just hate the performance because once you start and I think I just think with immigrant creators they once you start cutting yourself out just start sensing yourself censoring yourself and knowing yourself anymore and the censorship comes at the expense of people who don't actually do anything and then I would be online and be like oh but you haven't posted you haven't posted that did you post even if you have 10 followers did you post who then you should you go donate how much did you donate like it's so funny to me like I want to start it I think because like whatever I get a comment like I just smile like wow like yeah okay like good job like oh it just social media man you connected anybody is anybody left the trip saying oh okay um honestly not really I think I'm learning that my personality is very bold and very loud and what tends to happen is that I am friends with everybody I don't take enough time to actually be friends with one person right and I think that's what happens with people today they don't they're not sure if I actually care about them to want to be friends with them or I'm just like yeah nobody does and also again like I just be chilling like I'm going to pretend that like oh because of that trip we're going to all be best friends like no people have their lives after that trip and that was the same thing I'm learning because before old Sophie would have said oh my god we're going to be friends forever people are going to think that influencing for many ways is literally just like work it's like you just have another job and so these people are not my friends they're my colleagues and once I accept that life is a lot easier for me so because of that I'm not really always stressing out about anything else hey guys we want to start testing out some segments on here because that was like I feel like we're doing so well with like yapping and I do yapa law but I also want to like try to introduce like intro you guys or include include you guys in the podcast too so we're going to be doing fun segments I think we're thinking of like love story reactions giving us your like sort of other stories am I too loud moments like something made you cringe like if you have any facts and stories that you want to share and you would like to be featured in the podcast please share in the comments or leave a voicemail or a message on our website am I too loud calm link will be in the description please go ahead and do that I want to include your own in the podcast please pretty please I love you so much thank you so much I'm tearing I probably look crazy in the clip that's gonna be on social media we're gonna keep going because this is the end of today's episode but yeah I can't wait to see you guys next week it might change if anything else comes up I'll let you guys know what doing this now for fun the podcast has been so fun to record and I feel like I'm getting so much more comfortable I don't feel like you guys can tell I said this week I'm sick so I'm sorry if I look like a swollen mess but don't forget you guys share some of your odd facts odd stories odd memories loud memories anything you want share something with me I want to be able to react to it on the podcast please share in the comments use the voicemail at mytulaw.com and I'll see you in my next pod episode I love you very much and let me take a sneeze because it's a part time ago I was about to fart but I feel like could you fart in sneeze all right right guys I love you pray for me I need it oh my god my view because it's so hot I need to go to bed