The Sex Lives of Black Women ft. Simply Sayo - Ep 33

Welcome to a mind to loud the podcast. Welcome back to a mind to loud the podcast with Sophie aka the mother fricking oddity guys. I feel like for this particular episode, you know how like whenever you're watching movies, you know, like they always have like parental warning, parental guidance, whatever, whatever. For this episode, I'm only going to put any of that. If I was going to put it, I would say come into this episode with the expectation of a good ass time because if there's one thing I know about the guest for today is that no matter what, no matter where, no matter why she's going to have a fucking good time. She's the epitome of class of grace. She is Miss United States. No, she's not. Okay, I lost the plot right there. Well, this is my other half, the only person who will get me to get matching tattoos with her right after seeing her 10 minutes after seeing her right literally getting matching tattoos. She has light. She's energy. She is literally my twin sister. The ladies, Jen's odd fam and pod fam. Fucking Shayo is on a mind to loud the fucking podcast. My goodness. I was such an introduction. You're so dramatic. I had Shayo is tired as fuck. I mean, and I'm going to tell you something about my friend. I love her so much. Like I really like I want you to know I love you so much. Yes, because like, I know for a fact, Shayo does no work for anybody by herself. And the only reason she's here today is because she loves me. Yes, because if not, I feel bad sleep. Oh, touching myself. Shayo, we just started. Oh, I love it. I wouldn't be so comfortable because guys every time I talk online, I just sometimes I wish I had your audacity. What? Do you know what it is? I don't know when people, I don't think people get what I'm joking sometimes, but you're not joking. You actually would be. That's why I love satire because yeah, I'm joking, but kind of not really. Oh my God. I can't be doing. Hi. Hey, man. How are you doing, baby? I'm good. You look so tired. I can get past that because you abandoned me. Can we talk about that real quick? Okay. So imagine her better half is visiting. Also, can we talk about the fact that like after this podcast, Shayo is going to meet her friends. Let me tell you exactly how this BITCH told me she goes, oh, I'm so sorry. We can't hang out today. I'm going to hang out with my friends. And I'm like, okay, first of all, what are the friends? Do you have besides me? And she's like, oh, these are my friends friends. Oh, well, fuck me then because who the fuck am I in your life? And then she's like, oh, these are friends that she's known forever. Oh, I'm sorry. I just met you and now I feel bonded to you. Like, now I feel like you've led me on and then you're just like, oh, like you literally me got me to climax and then you stopped me right there before I got the orgasm. That's exactly now you know, you know, you're this is and then when I'm not even done because you also when I was on a full week trip, believe that I you don't care edge. You don't you edge. You literally got a matching tattoo with me. And then you dipped. Have I seen you? Have I seen you since that day? Yes or no? Yeah, but you have I know that's not the question. Have I seen you since that is not the question I actually went on date. Have I seen you since that day, romanticly without me? Have I seen you since that day? You know, I heard the question. Yes or no? And now when you when you say seen me in what person have I touched you? Have I held you? Have we been together? I hold you close to my heart. If I hold you felt in that way, since that day, No, exactly. You went to wireless without me on a day without me. Yeah, huddling up, boot up without me. Don't touch me. I'm not done. You look scrumptious and greased without me. And then you were supposed to hang out me today. I literally packed my suitcases ready to go on whatever adventure you had planned for us and you again, edged me on to leave my baby. I'm sorry, the episode yet. Hey, baby. I miss you so much. I'm relieving you again. Do you know what it is yet? Now I'm like as much as, you know, this is only my second time seeing you since, you know, we talk every day. We talk every day every day. I now don't know how I'm going to fare when you go to whatever country is you decide to go around off to. No, I actually don't understand that. Like I'm so close to you. Like where, at least I feel a sense of safety because I know you're right there. Like even when you went to Greece, I was like, oh, she's not far. Yeah, just like soon, I'm going to be like thousands of miles away. And then after that, who knows where you're going to be? And it's just I don't do well with like abandonment. And I just feel like you're so it'll piss me off. Don't piss me off. If you fake cry right now, I said, I'll kick you it. I'm not going to do it because I still have the meeting afterwards. So I'm going to hold my tears. I'm going to hold my tears for that because that's going to be heavy. But, no, honestly, I don't know how it's actually going to be. Where is it you're even thinking of going next? Like we're going to Scotland together. Okay, yeah, that's fine. I said that and I realized that I made all my plans today without you and it. So we're not going to Scotland again together. Let me break down news to you. So no, no, why not? Because like I ended up like booking a hostel. And I also realized that when I did ask you to come with me, it's because I'm running away from doing anything solo. And the plan was for me to do a solo thing. Like, I feel like I was being safe. Generally, like this has been like actually talking. I was like, I literally said that I was about to call you this morning to plan it. And I was talking to Donald because Donald is the producer. And he was just like, Sophie, you said you want to do shit solo. Everywhere you've been to, you've had people there. So you're not out of your comfort zone. Yeah, that's why I do the same thing because I was like, let's go to Scotland together. And I was supposed to be my boss. And I was deep and I was like, oh, I'm actually running away from actually being alone. And nothing, it's the back. Because in the month of Negro, I'm going to want you to come to. So I'm like, maybe actually just do Scotland by myself. And I was going to do like a hostel. And I actually booked a hostel by myself. So you all are hearing about this now. But I feel like I already gone on that. You see the vlog. If you've not watched it, the vlog is going to pop up. So I'm going to, I'm going to be sleeping in a 13 sleeper room. 13. 13 people in a bunk bed. 13. 13 people, baby. It's disgusting. 13. 13. I'm very excited. No, even eight. No, no, no, it's all sold out. Yeah. And there were four beds left. I mean, nine of the beds already. Yeah. Oh, baby, you're not going to get any sleep. But I think that's the point, right? So I wanted to back back across Europe, baby. Okay. Right. It's that. That was a whole plan for this trip. And then I've been staying in like fucking five-star hotels, running around in my best fucking life. Like, I've not done anything. I don't, I don't see any people with that. I mean, I mean, the backpacking can be, you know, rough. But the sleep in this thing is the top, like the top hostel is a two-star hostel. That's the top. And it's two-star. Mm-hmm. You see, mediocrity is a disease. What? Yeah, it's a two-star hotel. So it's going to be really. That's the top. Yes, very. Oh, the bar is in the ground. It's in L. Okay. I hope you have a good time. I think you're right. Yeah. Do it by yourself. It would have been nice to, you know, have known before the podcast. Yeah. But also you, if I didn't remind you, you're not going to remember. Yes. I thank God for ADHD. Thank God for knowing your friends, too. Like, even for today, I texted your manager and I said, remember to put it on Shia's calendar. You should have sent a reminder to remind me to check my calendar as well. See what I mean? Why don't my friends? I'm okay with it. I love it. I love her because of it. Okay. We're actually going to start the fucking episode now because first of all, I'm really proud of my baby. You have a new show because it's not a podcast. It's a show and it's everything and more called Shia says. Shia says. Shia says. Have you ever put Shia says? What does she say? Yes, Shia says. Thank you so much. Welcome back. So I decided to start the episode by reading a few tweets that Shia once said. Oh, and what's going to have you react to yourself? Okay, cool. And sheds. There's nothing crazy. The first one is I might not make it out of this ovulation cycle alive. My sister's why can I feel the entirety of the magnetic spectrum in my body like I'm magneto? All my senses are heightened and I can't focus. These hormones need to be free from me and it's only going to get more intense question mark, question mark, exclamation mark. Why did you feel the need to share your ovulation cycle with Twitter? Because I wanted to. Because it's my way of dealing with these things. I need to articulate it as beautifully as I did that. You did. It's poetic. Even beta is when you articulate things like this, it makes me feel more connected to you. Right. That's why I do it. Like I feel like wow, that is exactly how I feel when I'm ovulating to. And now I know that me and Shia go through something together. And this is what I'm saying. Community. Community. I did it for community. You do. Okay. Another thing is I did not see the first tweet, but someone responded to a tweet and said eugenics. Y'all just be looking for a reason to use big words and an argument. This was not a response to Shia. My beautiful friend seated here, but my friend Shia saw this and then quote tweeted by saying, if my man wear on Twitter talking about some, y'all just be looking for a reason to use big words and an argument. And the word is eugenics. I literally screenshot it, send it to him and go, ew. Are you no fucking embarrassed? Relationship done. Ew, man. Shia, why did you feel the need to drag Nate to smooth on July 10th? I had some spare time. It has some time on my hands. But is it not true? Like eugenics is a big word. Are you being classists by saying that folks who did not go to school should not have the. What does that have to do with school? Was it in school that I learned about eugenics or was it just from reading, just from listening to conversations? What if people who can't read? Now you shamed them into no one to use words anymore. All I'm saying is that the brother should expand his vocabulary and his vocabulary judging by his age as well should be a little bit more extensive than that. Especially if he's going to be trying to engage with people who are clearly able to use the word and not see as this big thing. Just know that something is above your your your intelligence and just don't be embarrassing yourself on Twitter because now I'm quite sweet and you're shit saying yeah if you're my my not break up with you and I would if I sold like. What are you doing? You're actually embarrassing yourself stop. I get it. It doesn't even think about his children does not think about what his legacy is going to be when his children find that sweet and then my dad is a loser. Shia that is me every time with shia okay next week that you said when women share their experiences of how poorly men treated them and put them in situations that they weren't yet equipped to deal with I always say thank you so much for being vulnerable I learned something because shame is used to silence us from exposing men yes what did you mean by that exactly what I said or without elitist as well of me to say was that no it wasn't it was very clear it was very clear no like because it's really true yeah and I think that's why I'm so open about like my experiences that's why I'm so fortunately for me I'm very comfortable in the things that I've done and you know the lessons that I've learned et cetera yeah and because when I started actively looking for the answers for questions that I needed the answers to and that I asked adults who I thought and trusted to know better and I grew up and I realized that well actually you know they they didn't I feel like I've been lied to and then when I go on this journey and I'm learning about all these different things that have shaped the world that we live in in doing so and then in doing so shaped my experience of it yeah I thought I'm angry by that like I'm angry because if I were and you know like a parent if I were an adult if I were like a caretaker if I were someone the developing child entrusted with their learning yeah I would want to make sure that I am doing the best that I can yeah to give them that experience to better set them up for the world and that's not to say that everyone is in the position to be able to do that but there are some things that are more so within our control yeah that I do feel like we can make the conscious effort to exercise a bit more you know and of course there's a lot of privilege in being able to do that and so everything is taken with you know like a grain of salt and obviously the discernment to know that you know people have different situations people have different focuses piece some people are you know like living on survival mode like they don't have time to be good to be good to probably like we do work love time they're gonna get money they're gonna work for it yeah do you know what I mean so I see I have that in mind but I think when when like we're having these conversations especially the kind of conversations that I have with my friends yeah I enjoy the company of people who I feel like expand my mind yeah that's also people who are curious yeah that's like just curiosity if someone tells me something and I I don't know I'm okay I'm gonna be curious about it tell me more what does that mean what does that look like but there's so many foolish people online who have not opened their mind and who just stick to what they know what they think they know the perception of the idea of it like for example that guy we just talked about I'm pretty sure you know I mean think that oh this word let me go and find it let me burn it and then let me come back and respond properly but instead it goes into mockery yeah why are you mocking someone when someone is just simply speaking like and I've and I grew up I was always like I always I was always a very curious child and my curiosity always got the better of me yeah and so whenever something came across me and I didn't know what it was I would actively try to understand it and then even and then like in my understanding try to like like practice it and exercise it yeah so there was this one time where I and that's why that tweet like annoyed me that tweet really annoyed me because like anyway so there's this one time I think I must have been in like year four yeah in primary school I was watching um my watching a show backyard against it was a very good good show like very very interesting I loved it me and I said we were watching it there was this one episode where they said a word that literally blew my mind and I was like it was a new word I'd never come across before yeah and the minute I heard it I was like wow like I want to try to use this in like in my work like I want to show that like I've learned a new word so the word was gargantuan oh right that's such a sexy word like gargantuan to our loves use that right I was like oh my question like even I've been loving words and showing my interest in words in language and you know English et cetera from like year two right so I was in the content like I just I just love it like I don't know how much I was like I just really really love it and so when I look when I heard this word gargantuan immediately I was just oh my gosh like I wonder what that means but then I kind of I just deduced what it meant especially in the context that I was hearing it in and I was like okay gargantuan you know like you've got big you've got giant and then gargantuan must be even bigger than you know what I mean so when I heard that what I was like wow gargantuan like I'm so cool I go into class and you know like we were writing stories or whatever and so even though I knew how to spell it because I can you know gargantuan yeah I just wanted my teacher to confirm so I used it in I wrote it in my writing and then I um I asked my teacher Miss Abbas Missy Rest in Peace um I asked Miss Abbas oh like miss how do you spell gargantuan and she was like huh I was like gargantuan how do you spell gargantuan yeah just confirming I knew I spot it right but I just wanted to like you know yeah because I'm like I'm a child I want my teacher to confirm you know I just like oh it's not a word hun you chatting see you chatting see what you mean it's not a word I just heard it and I understand it and it makes sense yeah it's a word would you mean you just like I was just like yes it is it is a word means really really big like gargantuan I just like oh no it's it's not a word hun I don't know how to spell that it's it's not a word um that's deep though baby that I will never like I don't know why that memory stuck out to me so much and I think it's because of they she made me feel in that moment she made me feel like I was dumb yeah like she made me feel like I was especially if you knew yeah like she was like no it's not what like it was like patronizing yeah and I can remember this like maybe that's why I'm a wicker woman now all these things so I say much promise I pass and she must in peace but she rest the piece okay another gargantuan tweet you said I love when people this one I feel like it's connected to what we've been dealing with recently I love when people don't make you second guess you're positioning their life nothing is allowed to linger because they want things addressed quickly communication is prioritized and they don't make you feel ignored romantically or and I love that you added this platonically these kind of relationships greater than sign greater than sign also a sidebar I love that you know the grid I can never figure out what's this grisa dano less than really like I only know less than now because the less than is L like it has a shape of the L that's the only way I like kind know that L is less than but I don't know like great because great is like a G so it's shaped the other way okay yeah random fun fact okay but that's a tweet I liked and I feel like that was very important because that shows that because for me and for I'm gonna talk about how we first met because we I feel like I mean mutuals online for such a long time but we actually never met in person until you came out to New York last year and I have literally last year and I've been so traumatized by influencer relationships guys I've said it you know it I don't play about these fucking like not the true mom it's too much so for me when I have new people in my space I'm just very particular and this was a little moment too was when you reached out about hanging out my mom was gonna be in town and my mom is my nice relationship is very very like we're just balancing it's a balancing act so I didn't want anybody that will call my help me be out of fire would to defend the fire and for some reason just based off of my perception of you and the conversations we had and we didn't even talk every day before that really did see I just could tell that you were the kind of person I could bring home to my mom and like generally I just that's a romantic I'm platonic I just knew it so it was so much easier for me to be like oh of course and you got on so what was my mom you got on so what was me and even when you left because of my trauma I did not want to beg you for friendship like I literally like would not like I would call you but like I also wouldn't like call her like if she called me fine won't ki ki but I think that was one time I didn't call you for like maybe two three days and she had a call man I said I don't like what you're doing I was she was like you've not called me I want you to call me I want to talk to you and I was like huh I'll never have to be direct she was like we are friends and friends call each other Sophie I remember because I was walking the streets of New York that afternoon we have this conversation and you were like we are friends and you need to communicate with me because I like to be communicated with and I was like oh I'm so sorry like I wanted to give you a space you said I don't want space you actually you actually asked you for space I'm so confused so like I never communicated that ever so call me and speak to me I feel like once we have that conversation our relationship has been smooth sailing yeah I don't like any ambiguity my relationships whatsoever and I'm such a like an overcommunicator I feel like I overexplained yeah because I know just how easy it is to be like misunderstood so I'm like like I miss you bracket sexually bracket I don't want you to think I miss you cause you're in great chat drop your pants so that's what I'm saying I miss you in you know me so like you're like being said yeah like I just like being clear like you dive right and I just like I don't think I'm comfortable I am confrontational it's something used to be your confrontation front I think you're I just think it's I'm just not bad yeah I feel like even whenever you're speaking it's never from a place of I'm I use conversation sense to have a negative connotation yeah so that's how I'm like maybe not necessarily a confrontation if people think it's negative yeah or more like you're very communicative and like that's why we get along well and even like seeing how you are in real life too it gives very much that yeah and I guess important cause you give that same energy with platonic and romantic relationships yeah I just very yeah I just I just really like respects people's communication I just think it's like because I don't I don't like how it fills when people don't communicate with me yeah and so I cut for me like I don't like then doing that on to people that like I care about and yeah you know like even the baby I'm talking to right now like when I was on holiday yeah she was um she had some things that she was that she was dealing with yeah and that's obviously completely fine um and you know like I just let her know that like it's completely fine and I completely understand it like I'm very understanding I give grace um but next time just communicate that because like before yeah yeah just be like hey I'm not really you know I'm gonna be really shippling this moment that's that's it but because even though I was on holiday I was like making sure like every day like and what I need and that's my thing it's like I know I'm busy so there's someone I was texting recently and I'm like hey I'm not gonna be able to communicate from now until X Y and Z time because I'm gonna be doing this yeah so you're not just waiting around or you're not thinking I don't want to talk to you I really do want to talk to you I just want to prioritize doing this right now know that you're not a priority but I feel like sometimes in my come-off as people not understanding or respecting that yeah I'm not over communicating even for my sake it's for your sake too for peace of mind because I know what it is to not have peace of mind to wonder and I assume things when it's easier to just not assume it so you're earring yeah that's it wicked earring like that you know I was thinking I'm like I'm such a gold girl you're such a silver silver pop in your skin yeah well I'm every kind of oh no you are every kind but silver on me I really do want to because you have your brown skin is like I don't know how to explain silver but see I have yellow undertone and you have red I read which one red on the side yeah you're definitely red blooded okay yeah and I have one of the yellow goldish I'm so ony okay so the next swathes that is one of my favorites is cis rejection you know what's crazy is the fact that like this I love when about people on my show who like I just the things I would say is what you're saying right now and people would say okay Sophie because I'm feeling like I'm a Donald right now in this situation because whenever I say my crazy shit Donald is always like okay Sophie but now you're saying that I'm gonna say okay shy boy might I'm like let me say it out loud since rejecting Christianity okay someone tweeted over time I realized that people are less religious people who are less religious tend to show more empathy love care intolerance and my lovely Shire says since rejecting Christianity I've had a greater sense of responsibility and accountability to people in my community and the planet I don't want I don't wait for a savior to fix things or let go and let God I don't do things for God's favor I do it because it's the rights I do it because it's the right thing to do yeah you know what's interesting I think people I think the fact that we both can probably say we're very curious people is why we think the way we do and I think why we're gonna be so successful because as you grow up as a child you grow up with things that people tell you and I think the beauty of being a human is questioning every single thing and coming into your own conclusions my gripe with majority of the human population is you don't take the time to ask questions like you know what's crazy if I met a Christian or uber religious person who I'm having a conversation with say I sat down I did my own research from the religion I was born with I made the decision I'm sticking to it I respect that more than folks who blindly follow something and then never question and never ask and just have beliefs that are based off of some idea of someone telling you this not actually doing your own research and the one thing about you is you're gonna ask questions and you're going to go against the status quo not because like you feel like doing it but because you've actually intentionally questioned what the status quo was telling you yeah so which is hard to do especially as an African woman first of all like how is that how do you how do you navigate because I know I'm Muslim I come from Muslim background and I know how hard it is for my family to deal with that how have you navigated that I think because I'm not doing it to be a contrarian like it's not you know to be controversial or to sound like righteous or superior or so is just that I like to have certain conversations and that I do not inherently see what is wrong with me yeah talking about my experience just because it's not somebody else's yeah I was a question I was born into Christianity yeah but I was never convinced no matter how much I was so badly wanted to be yeah how much more comforting is it to believe that there is a cosmic power that is controlling and protecting your life yeah how much more comforting is that then to believe that you know there isn't it's a floating rock that way we don't know what's going on yeah like and that's coming from someone I'm a poet like metaphors and hyperbole is my bread and butter and I love it I love being able to create a world you know using you know all these poetic devices and literary you know like techniques yeah but that's for art you know that's art when it comes to things such as existentialism and your understanding and grasp of reality yeah I'm so sorry babe I don't want any metaphors give it to me cold turkey mate give it to me so that's so brilliant with the hair give it to me like like it is yeah you know what I mean yeah give it to me as it is like I that's what comforts me I'm comforted by the answers that I get from following through my curiosity I'm comforted by the exploration of of something that I want to understand like I don't want I'm not satisfied with superstition it doesn't satisfy me I think being human is understanding that humanity in itself is chaos yeah and what certain systems that I've been put in place do is to help you mitigate that chaos yeah so instead of saying you just have to figure your life out and be a good person it's easier to say if you are a good person you get to see heaven and then people are like okay if I believe this then that's exactly how things would go and so even like senior tweet is something that I definitely I didn't even know that's how I thought when I was asking the questions I was asking when I was in high school about religion about sex about gender about humanity you know that stuff but when I saw that I was like yeah I never understood the concept of just being a good person because of an ending of a reward like it's so more of like just be a good fucking person and I will give you props for that you are a good person thank you I mean I tried to be like at the core of who you are like if you know Shia is to know like I tell this was all the time I don't even mean this as an insult it's just facts Shia lives in the clouds like you're literally floating like she's the one person who is generally just having the time of her life and I think there's a beauty in living life to just enjoy life because this is the only life that I know I am having yeah that is a that is the stone cold reality of it and it warms it fills me with so much warmth because you know what is it's like you're able to see and this is what I try to tell folks who listen to the podcast you're able to understand that because of that I'm gonna live it to live like I'm gonna question everything nothing is gonna scare me I don't want to feel guilty I don't want to feel I don't want to feel insecure I don't want to feel angry I don't want to feel anything but joy and clarity and understanding and just vibes the thing is it's not even just like wanting to feel joy and understanding yeah it's about just wanting to feel like period I just want to feel I want to feel the full spectrum of what human emotion I want to feel like I want to fall in love yeah I want to experience so much and I don't want to restrict myself how many people restrict themselves in life based on what someone told you somewhere out there you shouldn't do something yeah I mean I ruled by shame by fear and by my understanding especially in our community too it's a lot shame stops people from truly exploring yeah themselves and understanding the philis extent of themselves and because I I am convinced that the purpose of my life is simply just to live it and just to enjoy it that's what I'm gonna do like and that looks different to me than it does to other people you know to you for me enjoying my life is being curious it's stretching myself yeah to the philis extent of of what I can be stretched to obviously like over time it's not you know like I'm some adrenaline junky and I'm trying to like rush through like no like yeah like it's just not like denying myself yeah the the voyage like I really enjoy getting to know myself like you do I've learned so much about myself all the time and you think the time to process it yeah like I wouldn't be like who I am if not for the experiences obviously that I have had but also how I have allowed them like to shape me and to mold me like and I think that I'm very proud of the person that I am because I'm all the things that I have wanted to be like I just and that has been that has been like my quest like just finding out who it is I am and the things that you know like that set me on fire the things I'm passionate about the things that I care about and it's only through being curious and exploring yourself and questioning things that you're able to do that anything that is trying to like control me and tell me that I can't question why I'm being controlled in the way that it wants me to control me without fear mongering I'm not going to trust it like I'm just not going to trust it so you talk a lot about just being who you are being unapologetic in a way like if you're going to condense into like social media terms right because you do you are a creator your name is simply shyo online so if anyone who is anyone is first of all I don't think that's possible but if you're just meeting shyo for the first time you need to be following across everything I think you're simply shy and everything there's nothing simply shyo about her there's nothing simple about shyo so quickly in a way like tell me in many ways like what the goal is or was when you started yapping online because I think when I first started I just wanted an avenue to talk I just wanted to share my things was that the same for you but did you ever were you ever like I'm going to be online or were you ever like I'm going to be in school like what was that um I have always felt at home on the stage that's your theater kid yeah I can see that you see I'm walking on the streets of London like I've always just loved that serotonin rush of just moving and and obviously like theater was a lot of movement and stuff like that so like that those are one of like my first like memories you know like just being in the compound back in Nigeria and you know when everyone is outside we were born in Nigeria yeah I was born in Nigeria yeah I've told you and I'm trying to be the for the floor before the park oh okay oh I'll be like oh really I'm such a velocity I'm like you said don't play with me the fuck no you tell me more yes Sophie I was I used to be like exposed to the people that you were born in Nigeria sorry I was born in Nigeria yeah I was born in Nigeria uh came to the UK when I was five um so I still have a lot of memories from Nigeria etc but like I remember you know like just feeling alive when I was like dancing and just kind of like performing just kind of like letting loose yeah and that was for when I was like young young like they like my parents whenever there was like a gathering or whatever I would always like I would always be the entertainment entertainment I'm like I can see you with that tiny child yeah I was just like I was just sorry like she's like four three five on are you stop you're not four three stop really stop it but I think you're not five you're not four something no you're five I am without the kids in here yes we'll measure itself to this we don't need to just believe in rubbish but because that was like the most that that was freedom it felt so good and I was like I just wanted to feel that in everything that I do like I want to have the freedom to create I want to have the freedom to speak I want to have the freedom to explore I'm going to have freedom freedom freedom freedom freedom and so I don't do well with being controlled guided maybe yes but I need to trust you in order for me to even do that and so like I I've always been very vocal and very opinionated because I think that like what the hell do I look like being quiet like what the hell are you quiet sorry ever getting trouble though did you always get in trouble because you posted a video the other day of you're telling your parents to apologize to you for doing some things to you like so how how do you do with that because there are a lot of questions that will get asked is how like how are you simply just existing not given the flying fudge I have a lot of audacity but how do you like how do you get there like you have to like was it like because like for me right I'll give you an example I grew up and there were so many people who would tell me right now that my persona right now is because or you kind of build bread with now you kind of fights bread with now so like because you have money now and you have financial freedom in a way especially in an African home now you're able to move accordingly but I know that's not the case for everybody else because for me I was like the only reason I can fully say that I was able to just say fucking fully was because okay when I came to America my mom wasn't doing my tuition for me I had to take control of my life I knew that and I had nobody could talk to me but I also knew that when I didn't have that the mental bullying the mental struggle the harshness of just being alone the fear like my biggest fear is being alone and African families will leave you in the dust if you don't do exactly what they say and like I like I've heard you talk to your about your parents I've heard you speak with your siblings I've seen the audacity you have and I'm like you're not scared of being alone and doing this journey alone you're simply just existing to exist but how do you get the confidence to even do that know what it is I don't I don't like fear okay I think that I I don't I have a lot of social intelligence I think right in the sense that I know how to maneuver in social settings and you know I have the I have like I know how to navigate around people and you know stuff like that because I like I grew up with a lot of people you need to have and I have good relationships with with you know with people so like it just it just comes from like the way I socialized I think but also I'm just not I'm more scared of disappointing myself and not being true to myself than I am for the really else for everyone else like I just I just like I don't when I say my world revolves around me I mean it to like the very cool people forget that self-love at the core of its it means self-love so you first self-care means you first yourself is first we spend so much time performing for the people for other people caring about other people will say like I was talking to a friend the other day and he was like like you're so brave and I was like I just simply think I'm existing I don't think I'm brave for simply me just like the things I share on the podcast before like all my mom say in the back of my mind I understand like the feelings but I talk to that honestly if it was just me and my mom in this world we had she had no siblings she had no mom and dad alive it was just me and her the only thing probably that she would be worried about is like oh I might not go to heaven because her religion is told her that's if I am either gay or if I don't have hair or if I drink that I'm going to be in hell besides that my mother will care about me and love me it will do no matter what the only reason she has any other thoughts or you might be listening and me thinking other thoughts about us is because you care about what other people would say you have opinions about other people rather than just focusing on yourself and most people would rather disappoint themselves because they can handle it yeah like people think people disappoint themselves every day and like people you think it's okay to not put yourself first but put other people first that's exactly why so many people are so sad so depressed because at the core of it a lot of people are unhappy with how they treat themselves yeah but we'd rather like choose to see their behavior with other people which is very interesting yeah I think it's just the different people have obviously different temperaments and different things that they can that they can handle and they feel confident in and I think confidence underpins a lot of what it is I do like you can't have audacity without confidence and vice versa yeah and I'm very confident in myself because not only is my sense of self very steadfast and my confidence in myself very unmoved but I also give myself the grace to change my mind because as much as people think that being dogmatic about your belief and being you know unmoved even in the face of contradictory you know like information and perspectives etc they think that that is a sign of you know of strength and character when actually having the malability to change your mind when you're presented with things that contradicts and just disprove your world view and your thoughts and what you believe and changing your mind in accordance to you know something that tells you that you are wrong yeah like I find that's that's me you know like so I give myself enough grace to to to change and to grow and make mistakes and learn and I don't see the mistakes that I make as you know like um moral failures you know I'm not so harsh on myself because I know exactly because I know that I'm the kind of person that if I'm very like I'm very rational if something does not make sense yeah then like not even I'm above the freaking program like I'm not above the program if I am wrong I am wrong and so I don't mind being told when I'm wrong but I need to I need you to actually show me that I'm wrong like and if I'm convinced that you know I made a mistake then I'm like okay cool no my bad I hold my mind up and that's it I know but it's just like I just don't I just think life is made a lot more difficult by people because they just don't want to they're just not as open-minded to the fact that they could be wrong and you know but like my core under to my core I understand myself like I have a lot of of knowledge of self you know like I I know my shortcomings and I know the things that I do well in and I make sure that I you know I'm frowed and you know appreciative of the good that I that I know that I do and you know that I know that I'm capable of and then you know give myself the time to work on the things that I that I need to work on I like that look you there's clarity and like I'm not perfect none of us are like that's the whole point of humanity exactly she's perfect where all perfect no I'm perfect but the point is there's a beauty in like saying yes no I don't understand I want to learn and people need to keep that in mind as they go okay so we're gonna be discussing a lot of things and I want to like I'm gonna ask you some questions that I want to hear thoughts about it these are like unpopular hot questions that I know we stand on the same side on yeah but I want to see if it's true or not okay okay you ready fun what's the more empowering getting paid for your news or refusing to show anybody your body for any amount well on the surface that questions is everybody spend 20 minutes actually the question really really really many minutes on it but I will answer that by saying that um choice feminism is a dangerous um just because a um not everything a woman does is a feminist choice yes okay so regarding you know people who would say oh her body her choice no one is saying that it's not um I think the nuance to this is that there was a privilege to there is in a sick way there was a privilege to being able to make that choice to profit off your body in a way that is um not reflective of how so many other women are in that situation explain that properly so a lot of women who are in you know sex work are there because they are essentially yeah because of circumstances they like we're in a particular society yeah exactly no matter how many times women want to talk about empowerment the idea is still in many ways yeah we're trying to fight empowerment within the context of empowerment from a patriarchal society yeah so we're seeking to collect our power back from men we're not simply looking for power or gaining any power except for the ones the men are giving us essentially and that's where the conversion oftentimes stops and ends yeah in my way just as easily as you know the rights that so many women have fought to have and to give future generations or women look how quickly they've been taken away yeah and so I think that the question me personally I would do it I would do it but I haven't and I probably won't yeah do you know what I mean I'm just not doing that like I wouldn't I just wouldn't do that so there was a time if you want to do it court but just know that you know that's that person's experience yeah um if they decided that they want to do it okay I can have my opinion on it yeah sure but I generally don't to be honest with you I'm always going to be for the people I'm always more so considerate of the people who don't have the choice in it and that's why I'm always talking about how much I just like choice feminism and people using that as always my choice feminism choice feminism is basically the stance that um that's why I give the disclaimer just not every choice a woman makes just because a woman makes a choice to do something doesn't make inherently feminist feminists because I want to take my body back so I want to be equal because men can share bodies of women Canada that kind of thing it's more so like choice feminism is very much down to the individual essentially it's focusing on the individual and it's just individualism being repackaged as you know um as feminists because I yeah because I've chosen to do this because I've chosen to you know to do this it is me exercising yeah feminism is not like if feminism is about political and socio and economic it's about so much for women it's not an individual thing it's about like what is what benefits the whole yeah you know I mean like you cannot we cannot talk about you know so then the argument then oh my god this is where we should have done hot quick fire for real because in my head then you can the both conversions can be true because if you're saying with choice feminism I can argue and say okay um I can get paid for my news in a world where if all everyone if every woman was naked then nakedness would not be something people have to pay for because it's the norm and if every woman was covered then it's like demand and supply essentially because it's hidden now it's more of like a hot commodity and because it's not hidden so you see that in like a lot of the conversation around purity culture within like Arab countries right and how the how either are non-aggressive aggressive the men are because of how things are hidden versus society like America where it's it's sexual like sexuality all that stuff is also open so people argue and say like I don't know I'll be like oh if you're covered in your modest then you're going to be fine that's like you're a proper woman if you don't wear bride bride you're not so crazy it's all a matter of perception but I think that is not we can't win either way to be covered or not to be covered so the question then is the problem is not the problem is that the onus of responsibility is always placed on women it's about women covering up is about women not covering up is about women ever is never it's never it's never more so focused on holding accountable the system in society yeah that maintain this idea that it's always oh it's the woman's responsibility to not tempt a man or tempt someone like because it feels too if you'll defeat us then to like be like yeah well men would never would never what would you mean would never be held accountable I mean yeah it is the fetus I think that there are ways to see things you think you can either see on like a macro level or in a micro level on the day-to-day basis there's going to be different you know it's going to apply differently yeah the kind of accountability that I hold the men in that I hold the men in my life yeah that's what I can control that is what I know that I you know that is my decision and you know what I mean and it's like and of course there's there's wanting to hold someone accountable and then there's the difference in whether or not they even allow you to hold them accountable because a lot of men just they don't want to be held accountable in the same way like it's it's it's it will be very um like pessimistic to think that oh what's the point it's you know what can women really do what can we really do and it's like no it's about it's about understanding it's about having the understanding for yourself so that when you're in situations and you have relationships you are more equipped with the understanding yeah and the nuances of these interactions do you know what I mean like I going back to you know the the question of sending your nudes and you know not being and not selling so what is the question actually getting paid for your news what is more empowering getting paid for your news or refusing to show anybody your body for any amount okay what do you mean refusing to show my body for any amount so basically like what is more empowering the fact that I'm taking control of my body and saying I wouldn't I wouldn't show my body if you offer if they offered me a you five million dollars first of all who's there who's offering this no literally like but like is a very ambiguous question but that's always asked I don't like the question I just like to put out that's everything the first question I would not go anywhere sorry to feel like I've got anywhere I'm sorry to feel like I'm fired that is it okay but you see what I mean by this like life is never black and white yeah it's all about nuance and how you can see different things so when people have I wouldn't say yes to either of those right but I wouldn't do either of these things you will have such direct responses to things I feel like that's dull that's that's where I'm gonna use because there's no opening an opportunity for thinking past what you know because that question can go in so many ways but if someone who loves their body and would do anything but that to them is empowering then that is empowering to them if you ask someone who's a modest who's a hijabi is empowering to her like there's so many ways you can go with that question you used to actually be about modest with your possessions so I'm not showing number two hard take it's not become something to control within it we're not we're not even going into deep questions guys if you want follow our channels and then ask us directly to talk to you about it go and snapchat hard take our women who say I don't need a man usually lying to themselves yes or no well shall you yes or no no yes okay why would you say no I don't want to say I don't need a man usually lying to themselves no no sorry my bad he's lying to him I guess his questions always yeah no no no no no it took me a minute to get that yeah filling the blank the most operated thing about female empowerment is first of all you know don't old wrote these questions because it's coming from a man's perspective this is the these are such male questions how you know that man wrote the question this is my defense I was walking I was working there we're gonna walk this is such a male brain it's overrated thing about female empowerment is sorry I'm not doing I'll say his questions anymore they give his biases that's the whole point of answering rubbish look at that um there's absolutely nothing would you rather be would you what's the biggest lie influences tell their audience how well they're doing that was exactly what's gonna say how most of your influences are not doing well yeah that's all I'm gonna say about that yeah let me just tell you that everyone has a price what's yours for what anything if if there's one thing in what a someone would do to get you to do anything in this world what would that price be that's that would be too expensive that's fine is it a hundred million dollars no it was like a billion dollars no it would cost me like controlling me like that we've like I don't like the control element of things so that's you just like to free fall I just yeah no I can't do that yeah I don't know I know name one thing you'd never do for money have sex for money yeah actually would never do that too why would I do that like a bunch of more payments to have sex with them good old objectification purchasing me not no judgements of folks who have to do that to survive of course not that's not that's not so of course that's so you know in this scenario yeah interesting I would ever do that too I wonder why I know why but still I just wouldn't know because then it would just see who the fuck are you on the topic of that now right I feel like as a creator since I started my podcast and since I started just sharing who I am and the things I enjoy the amount of people with opinions about me is more that makes sense like when you share your opinion online people want feel like they want to silence you by adding their own opinion to it yeah and I feel like you are someone who's a hell out opinionated how do you navigate that especially as a creator because I know like being opinionated yeah because like how do you not really like do you block people do you what do you do not really to be honest with you like how do you like I'll see I feel like me you're so similar but the issue with me is I get in my feelings I you don't or maybe you do I you don't show it like when I see your tweets I'm like that is something that I would say to someone in person but I would never say it online like I wouldn't text that back you would ask me why yeah I don't know if people's opinions message you like people's disagreeant disagreement it don't matter to you that they just like make me feel they don't make me feel shit that's the thing how who are they to me well like they're people people that I don't know who don't know me who clearly the the message is not full but you know how like you you see like self-help podcasts and books and stuff and people are always like oh I because it's not for me it's not for this I'm like but how do people like go around the world understanding or because like with social media it doesn't feel like you're far removed from opinions anymore but we are if you're deeper so before like oh don't let the comments get to you but I'm reading it no I mean the illusion of there being this you know um the dichotomy of it all this um um like time wherein the difference between online and offline is not is not clear it's all mesh it's not offline or online because everything impacts everything and so it's an illusion we think that there is an online space and an offline space as if online behaviors don't translate into offline offline um attitudes yeah there was no actual like it always impacts and so but for me because even in person yeah I don't care yeah well people have to say about me like I've had I've had people who have quite literally like like I've had people that I don't agree with and that I don't get along with like let me know what they think of me but you're not my kind of person anyways yeah but how do you get to that point because why where else is there to go like if I know like no I'm being so sick no I'm so dead as I'm living here if you if I watch you know I watch you like we talk about this a lot right like I remember when I I didn't necessarily come out to you but like I remember we had a conversation when like I told you oh I think I found X Y and Z then right and I remember when I said that to you I said I need someone to talk to because my friends aren't supportive like my friends don't like that I'm being so vocal about my sexual my sexuality don't like that being so vocal about me as a person they don't like the comments I'm just talking my friends just aren't supportive and I came to you and you like you should get better friends and I remember going I can't she's like why not and I was like oh why not and the only way you can get better friends is by doubling down on being exactly who it is yeah you are yeah because only that way will you find people who actually accept you for who you are I don't need to be liked by internet strangers so much that I let the opinions of people who don't care for me or care about me to impact me so much of course there is a level of you know like social intelligence that goes in with that there are there's obviously respects at the end of the day like I respect people who I respect but if you are disrespecting me I do not care yeah about you I don't like there is no way that I can see someone who is you know like who is coming at me crazy just because I don't believe in the same thing that they believe in yeah because when people who when I'm around people who don't believe the same things that I believe you don't have the same understanding that I have yeah I don't see them and try to make them like I don't I don't care like it's only when I feel like you know I'm being um it's only when I feel like I want to respond to something that someone has says yeah but then I'm like hold on like who who are you talking like who talking to you so how does that translate into your like first of all we'll talk about it from like a friendship platonic relationships and romantic relationships then because like for me now I'm learning that those are incident recently that happened that we both know about where I never used to be vocal about my feelings I just used to try to be a people pleaser be a mediator even though well yeah no that's that that people pleasing is your is this is the problem I might say is my thing no I'm not going to say people being a people pleaser is a lot of people is downfalls because right and I'm not I'm not I'm a shy pleaser I need to please myself okay unfortunately me pleasing myself involves a lot of community and a lot of consideration of other people yeah so that's what pleases me like I am like considerate of the people that I care about you so me being I know I'm a good person like that's it like I'm very much at peace with who is I am and I know that I'm a good person because I'm just here the other one just there we go yeah yeah yeah and I'm I'm a good person because I one I am and because I also choose to be by the same time I will not allow anyone to take me for either yeah I just cannot because that's just not that's not my experience so I had Tony tone on the podcast right and Tony yeah right like I'm realizing that I am surrounded by incredibly powerful women like all of y'all are just bad asses like the way you carry yourself is not the norm right the way we think about things is not the norm and that's not a knock on anything else but if you go through my comment section my DMs your comments your audience people and the women who listen to us constantly ask how aren't you scared or how you're going to find a man a partner friendships family all of that stuff so I hope please make your face so again the thing is how do you how have you navigated building your brand first of all because you you're making money off your personality right so how how are you navigating that process how you navigating that with relationships to right because for a lot of women like the one they want partners right and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that it's a very I know in this era oh right right Elf sorry it's a yeah fine I know that in this time of decentement decentement a lot you know there were some women who feel like you know for some reason that it translates as being that you are now like you know mocking or shaming women who just desire a partnership with men like that's yeah because you posted about your situation shift ending and you sitting in the park bench yeah that was just fun that was just funny who that was kind of like please but the thing is I just love being yeah I just love being dramatic like I the thing is I did like him I did like we were dating I called it a talking stage but it's just semantics like we were dating for like seven or so or so months yeah and I already knew that it wasn't really gonna go anywhere yeah I already knew it wasn't really gonna go anywhere because I had seen the patterns like I'd seen like okay cool like we're not spending this much time together because of this and that and blah blah blah blah I'm so well if this is supposed to be you know the time that we're supposed to be getting to know each other more and this is you know like the the habits and the routines and the regularity of you know of that and things that only keep on getting like more and more keeps on coming up it's like well this isn't gonna this isn't gonna work out and so I just kind of like enjoyed it for what it was yeah you know um and I enjoyed you did I got I enjoyed we spoke about it like yeah that was an experience it was good I learned from it and now I'm you know moving on and you know exploring more like that's just yeah without me yeah it's okay babe it's okay yeah blah it's okay that's fine but like I don't know like I don't care about what um an imaginary future partner is gonna think of me I don't give a fuck because why would I why would I be considerate of some imaginative like why but what kind of what so I'm going to but you know my life because what people thought like that awesome make believe man of the future that you're idealizing that would please man live your life like why would I why would I put my life on hold why would I not do certain things why would I change who I am can we talk about this because you just said why would I put my life on hold have you seen the trend where girlies would say I could call you and say let's go to Mexico and someone would say oh I'm waiting to let have a boyfriend to do that I should that should discuss me don't want to say that to me and I'm not one to judge or be upset but I remember when someone told me that I literally go don't piss me the fuck off you put your life on hold for an imaginary imaginary situation to happen because then your joy and experience is now dependent on another party to take you somewhere when you can enjoy that in fact go on do it first and if you do find a person you want to basically go back and do it again what the fuck does that mean so many women are socialized to postpone their exploration their self-exploration their enjoyment okay because of this imaginary prospect of a great husband yeah newsflash most of them aren't great this is just what their wives are telling us my G they're coming on social media and they're telling us they're they're telling us and we're grateful for it we are we're grateful for it because there's so much mystery surrounding women's experiences and that is shrouded and that is because of shame because if you the other day I posted about me going on my birthday trip and having a one night stand and the country when women everyone in between was there were an uproar because for them it's absolutely ridiculous that a woman had a one night stand because they they see sex as something that is done to women as opposed to something that women do and enjoy say that again please i'm so sorry it's because they see sex as something that is done onto women as opposed to something that women willingly participate in because they also enjoy it's because women's autonomy is not respected it's only that they see women as being pleases as opposed to people in control of their own pleasure it's not guys it's really not that big a deal someone wants to have a one night stand let them have a one night stand why are you taking why are you taking power stand up for somebody else's dick why are you taking power stand up for someone else's headache i don't i'm mind you i like i was like i'm not going to knock and say the people who listen to the podcast are podcasts are young African black women yeah right so sometimes when they hear this we're two women who are saying you're so like me since when i was like you said you see like because i've moved five times where you haven't so you're stimming as you trying to move your hands because you've been sitting still yeah for i was really proud of you no i've moved you saw me move like 50 times i had to get up and i get so conscious of it on the podcast like i can't move but i don't know how people do it like yeah sit still and talk i can't do that i need to move but you're doing so well i'm really proud of you i almost done she's sweating trying to sit still and now i'm just sitting on my hand no no no move your hand baby i promise i don't care i'll just show you because i knew you're about to stop picking up whatever it might be like what the fuck it's going to be desi and why are you like i was praying that we're picking up nonsense for me i'm picking up the link but like i i'm excited because there's an evolution happening of women's voices that for a lot of people might seem strange or bold or too much or why but i want you to understand that the things i'm speaking up about on this podcast and what should i talk about what or anyone talks about now isn't bold or new we're just now talking about it and i'm grateful for the opportunities now that we have to talk about it because more people should talk about their experiences like the other day i had shay classic on the podcast and he was like i love shay and he was and he records a video of mine where i was like oh i didn't know how to give head so i googled it and i remember i think i called you to tell you or explain that to you and shay was like oh my god his first reaction was like so fee oh my god shut up why are you talking about it and then he was just like also if you didn't google it how would you have known and i was like yeah cuz when you're trying to talk about it to people i think i'm trying to shut you down shut you down tell you oh why oh listen don't talk oh it happens behind you the fuck the like if i bite his dick the fuck yeah because i didn't know what if i chew off the the the the hell you know i'm so gay because i was the i didn't know anything about the man but you see what i mean like in in that way for me it never made sense and we grew up with a generation of women who i never spoke about my sex to my mom um i never knew it and then i was fucking sugar warning it is that i've never spoken i don't think i've ever spoken about sex in my mom my my first experience with sex in that way was when a man assaulted me and for me i couldn't even go then to my mom to say mommy this is exactly what happened to me because to me the the conversation is now oh yeah now what were you wearing what were you doing oh they were a job now you didn't do this you didn't do that yeah which is there so many young girls who go online and we see that happening right now with the comment server they're far right even just Nigerian African all that stuff where simply asking questions is deemed as too much or you're more tania was the word for like you're outside but they're young girls like my self appointments are younger sister the thing she's asking me she's curious about um she doesn't know to ask yeah so i think that's important enough we need to have more did you voice the women's voices like yours in the conversation and talking and i never say this all the time i hope but i want to say this publicly i am so proud of you oh thank you was like generally like you inspire me even me to just keep going and not be scared just simply exist as me no matter what because it's life is a lot more fun when you simply enjoy life like when you simply just exist to enjoy it why why would you want to why would you want people to be suppressing who they are when all they're doing is expressing their personality like that's i just don't i just i think people deserve the sovereignty yeah all self-expression like i just don't think i don't desire to control how people express themselves whether it's you know through fashion or the way that they talk and things like that and i think this is something that i have come more to embracing and understanding truly because again growing up Christian i was told that this is this is you know someone who presents like this is this someone who does this is i was i was just this is that my exhibition episode we're done all this someone comments was like don't don't mind so if she's changing your mind she's she's corrupting you why i was like until i was in a grown-offs man shut the fuck up and you know obama's anger translator that's what you are right now it's like that but also conversations you shouldn't be listening to conversations and having a wallop of i'm listening because if i listen they're gonna corrupt me demon is going to go up at least a week minded like you can't like you can't hear something that's like i know like why are you like hearing something is actually like please okay let's be mature so before we round up we're gonna ask i'm gonna ask me and you to look into the camera and we're gonna suggest three things or two things each that we want people listening to dare to do hmm two or three things each that we want to dare people to do yeah and care about life ideally i'm talking to like women or non-binary queer folks anyone honestly listening because honestly anyone listening but i'm really speaking we're talking to good girlies out there the first thing i'm gonna start so you understand like the vibe of it is i dare you to shoot your shot and what i mean by that is like if you have a crush on someone someone you like whatever it is i dare you to shoot your shot make that choice take the idea because a lot of i still get a lot of damage about it take the idea that you can't ask someone you like out or you can do this and put the choice in your hands to enjoy your love life go ahead i i dare you to stand up for yourself oh yeah i want you to stand up for yourself at any moment this week that you feel like you should feel you should stay quiet or you shouldn't address something i want you to drive out i actually did that today yeah i did yeah it was very fun yeah like i was having a conversation with someone yeah okay i was having a conversation with someone and old me would have just like listened and i just kept being like no yeah what you did was fucked up i'm not listening to you and it earned me my respect hmm like i felt good and i felt like oh this is what it feels like to not be stepped on yeah and i think it's really special i like that yeah okay i dare you to go on a solo date oh solo so good i love a solo date i love a solo date like you don't go i go you go out you do like i spend more on myself than i think any guy is like for no nitrogen when i tell you i spend money on me and i feel like you take your you have to take your yourself like the quality i used to give myself already if you're coming into my life you already have to come correct yeah you have to come and that's how you know like i felt short in a lot of my relationships like personal platonic and romantic because i took care of myself financially um physically all that stuff but not emotionally and the moment i started doing emotionally it's been easier for me to navigate situations better yeah like i've been able to let go of friends now i've been able to let go of partners that didn't like sort me out and i've been able to learn a lot more about myself and the things that i want for myself exactly in ways that i've never been able to do in the past and it's i it's it just it gives you fucking wings man honestly yeah it's such a it's such a euphoric feeling like once you do it once it feels so good yeah to ever go back to not doing it again feels like you're doing yourself a massive disservice because you know like you know better and then you did better and then to return back to it is like uh like it's good i won't do that and so it's like the more you find out about yourself the more enjoyable it is like the more enjoyable experiences are because you're giving yourself you're granting yourself the freedom to explore which is which to me is so important okay yeah um i dare you to i dare you to hmm i want this to be a good one so i dare to say a good one i dare you to read oh a book from a perspective that you don't that you have never read from before so there's this thing called literary cannibalism right i think that's what it's called where uh literary classics are rewritten from the perspective of the victims of uh of whatever anybody yeah so for example um um um like we write um uh from for example like a book that is talking about the discovery of i don't know uh the first i don't know the discovery of papua New Guinea or whatever instead now of reading it from the perspective of the the traveler the conqueror or whatever the colonizer you read it from the perspective of you read a book from the perspective of the aboriginal you know so like i think find a uh i think it's called literary i'm cannibalism so if you're someone who is homophobic read a queer book yeah if you're someone who is Muslim read the bible if you're someone who is against education read a book advocating for education if you're someone who is yes something yes something like that so you can read a book that you know is um you know i feel like i would say oh boy it's bar easy for them to do that way yeah that's what yeah that's what we're doing a bar let me do now i said do this instead yeah so if you was like yeah there's what shiro says and then there's yeah but yeah just read a book from a perspective that you otherwise wouldn't i guess i think that's like a broad yeah for me it can be any if you guys complete it let me know in the comments and i think i'll do one more if you have one more you want to do the last one you do the last one okay almost had an aneurysm trying to the last one i think is i if you are a girl i want you to look at yourself today like get a mirror look at yourself naked like analyze the kooch analyze the boobs analyze your ears your eyes your legs your body not from a critical mindset but from a positive mindset and this could be for anyone who's ever felt uncomfortable about their body you are not a lot to think anything negative you are just only a lot to think of positive things while looking at your body it's something that when i i was in my period i started using the period cup and i was the first time i ever looked in my kooch ever i never she was just a thing that i just always had for like yeah because like i grew up with a generation of people who said if you put a tampon in that means you're disparaging yourself so like for me i'm like i can't like she was like i know she was uncomfortable she was tight she was this was that and she had gone through so much trauma that for me she was an other like i used to have sex and cry from how much trauma that would do i love you and it took me a time where i looked in the mirror and i started like loving myself like i wanted to see what she looked like how i could take care of her what she needed to do and young women don't do that we have such a far removed idea of what our bodies are that i think it's really special for them to do that so we're gonna have the list of things we said for y'all to do here okay last thing you gotta look into the camera now you're ready yes prepare yourself sensory yourself you have to be because you might want to talk with your hands okay knowing you move your back small so you i can't bite his part of the fit okay okay this is the time in the episode i'd like to tell my friend who was with me to hype the fuck out of themselves i don't know if he's heard and knows easy for you like this is probably the easiest thing this is like breakfast i'll just tell the truth yeah so basically you're gonna start with am i too loud if i say okay and you can just go in and i mean like Easter ray level looking in the mirror telling yourself you're at this shit okay and do it for as long as you want okay or for as short as you want okay say all the things you always say about yourself or say to the camera because i'm gonna cut this clip and post it as like a am i too loud if shy or says and then go yeah yes okay um i'm too loud if i say that i am quite literally amazing um and i'm not just saying that from a mantra perspective i'm not saying that as a word of affirmation i'm saying it is objective fact i am amazing i am special i am really talented i'm really funny i'm really witty i'm really open minded i'm really willing to learn and i'm really um down to earth never humble though um ever humble um i think that's that's all that needs to be said to be honest i could quite literally um write a soliloquy i could write a a novella of multiple volumes about just how well i think about myself and just how highly i regard myself and all of it would be factual um it would be categorized in local libraries and online digital spaces as well um as um truth it wouldn't be you know it would it be fiction it would it be fiction it'd be stunk old truth i'm perfect all right guys thank you so much for listening to myself the podcast i love you so much this is my better half and follow shy on every single platform your podcast is amazing your show is amazing i can't wait for you to be touring the entire fricking world taking stages being on snl creating your own snl shyos nightlife that's funny i like it oh girl i love you so much and don't forget to like comment and subscribe give us a five star rating on spotify everywhere i'll make sure to give you a subscribe guys and um we love you we love you very much my odd fan i guess this for you now you say goodbye odd fan i know