The Goal for Next Year Is to Be Selfish: Burnout, Boundaries & Choosing Yourself - EP 47

Welcome to a My Too Loud The Podcast. Guys, if more people spend less time talking and more time doing, I think there will be a lot more successful people in this world. And that is a lesson that I'm taking for myself too. Welcome back to a My Too Loud The Podcast with Sylvie, aka The Mother Freaking Audity. You would be watching this, I think, on the 17th, I think this is when this is coming out. And that guys, it has been a whirlwind of a freaking year. I was just telling Donald, I was like, first of all, I'm going to do these people right. I know you can see them, but focus on me first for two seconds. Okay. I was just saying how this year has been nothing short of chaotic for me. And I was just like, guys, I don't think I can do this anymore. And they were like, one, I was just like, life, like I'm so tired. I'm not tired in the myself way. I'm tired in the, like, I just need a minute. I just need a freaking minute. I need to regroup. I need to retrain. I just, I need some freaking time for me. And so this episode is so special to me, because I think the person that we're bringing on to this episode is somebody who is in the best way, the most selfish person I know about their autonomy. And there's something about people finding their autonomy, and not giving flying fudges about life and so much more that I know we're going to talk about this episode, especially because I think one of my biggest struggles in life is people pleasing, living for other people, caring too much, being very nice or too nice. And then I love that this person who I'm going to introduce here is somebody who lives for herself and is so sure who she is and what she wants, like, it's really special. So this is going to be a fun conversation about life, growth, energy, everything and more, and that's doing the damn thing. So before any further ado, I was going to say that any further, I've never said that before. I'm going to be introducing today's guest, we're going to be having a really loud conversation about what it actually takes to build your dream life, not the internet version. I know it's crazy. I think I have built, we'll get into this guys. I think I've built my dream life, the internet version. I think this is the moment in life where I'm feeling like, oh, on paper, online, I think I've built my dream life. But in my reality, I think I'm struggling a lot with like the realness, the messiness, discipline, filled era of myself, like an identity shift moment too. I think this is all happening as I get closer to 30 as well. So there's a lot of introspection that I want to go into in the next couple of weeks, and I'm excited for this conversation. So we're going to be putting 25 behind us for this episode and thinking about 2026. That's the error we're in. I also want to say that the episode you're going to see next is an episode we filmed before this episode. And I think that's, do we want to still do that? Or should we just do this? No, we should do that one last. Yeah. Okay. So we're going to do that one. Are you sure? Just because like, because we didn't really see anything closer. Before it was going to be enough time, because this is giving like a new year new me, but something's not tapping. Sure. Okay. So this is going to be us doing this is exactly keep this in. This is how we brainstorm our episodes guys. Okay. Anyway. So today on Amai Salad, the podcast, we have a very two very special guests in the building. I'm going to read because you guys know I've been very in my guest bag. Okay. First we have Donald Aduvie, he's the producer of the show. Donald loves to be introduced on this freaking show. This man has been on the show too many times. If you're a new person listening, then okay. I guess you need to hear who this man is. Boyfriend OG Potfam that you know Donald, but he makes me say these things every freaking episode. He's such a middle child. No, no, yeah, don't see what I mean. I'll come back. Donald Aduvie is the producer of the show, creative director, filmmaker. He's joining us on the couch today because I said we need the first of all. I did not say this, but he wrote this. I'm going to read it out because I said we need the perspective of somebody who's actively building a dream life in real time. Oh, but we're brother when he nominated himself. He did. I'm telling you, this man is a strange man. Adorable. Really? I wouldn't think that would be the point. Anyways, okay. That's Donald, guys. So this is one of my really close friends as well. So shout out to Donald for just showing up and supporting me this past year. We have our beef all the time, but I have so much love for you and I wouldn't be here without you. So I want to give you your flowers, because so thank you, first of all. So you're welcome. I know it's just tricky to say, like, no, I know you got it. I love you too. Wow. Okay. So if you've been on the podcast, and this is somebody who I've mentioned in passing a few times, I wish we do. If we have the capacity, we don't to do like a little like montage of every time on the freaking podcast, what I've said, Donald sister is a coolest, Donald sister is amazing. I can't wait to bring on the podcast and every idea, right? Every, every time we, yeah, it's always like I always bring her up and come closer. Some conversation, especially with Donald. So finally, before 2025 closes, we have the sister, the, I don't want to say your sister, because that's not even your identity, but for the context of my two loud right now, we're introducing Donald sister, but also ego, a fairie, she's, Donald wrote this. So I'm not I'm just like, I'm scared to hear no, you actually did a good job, okay? Oh, maybe his assistant wrote it. Well, I want to say. Liar. Okay, so a woman who is a literal definition of soft strength, oh, that is adorable. She's thoughtful, intentional, grounded, and honestly, one of the most disciplined women I know, facts. She's a medical editor with a bachelor's in pharmacy, a master's in public health, a writer, a reader, a creator who was built to YouTube channels and multiple social media platforms from the ground up with her thoughts and voice. She's also the host of the whole being podcast. She's made within her dream life, break by break, not loudly, not quietly, consistently and with so much clarity. So there she's here to help us talk about what it looks like to evolve into your next chapter, identity, habits, boundaries, and becoming the version of yourself who can actually hold the life you're asking for. Ladies, gentlemen, boys, girls, gays, them, vays, and everything and more phrase. Welcomeing on to the podcast, ego, a Ferrari, hello, that is, well, that was a lot wasn't I mean, I was not being a lot really, okay, no, it was a lot, yeah, I did good, right? If you wrote to, yeah, you did good, right now, who else will have that information? Well, I feel like if you gave someone like a loose understanding of what it could make I don't want to join like a degrees and stuff, but I'm just like, it's important for people to have context about who she is. I will also say this, like I feel like this season of the podcast was me bringing on some really cool friends were in my life and so the conversations we're having are intimately about the people who are in my life, but I also say I think with a lot of podcasts, we tend to, we see people who are already successful, right? Like we see them as in like, I think of the trevinoas or the male robins, like when I think about the guests I want to have on the show, it's always big names, but I think there's such a beauty in people who are figuring it out and also normal people who are getting shit done. And so I think this conversation is special to me because you're somebody who I told all this all the time, like I find girl over you all the time because you're somebody who is not loud and I'm loud as fudge, but you're not loud, you're so clear in your direction and you're so, you might not, I don't know if you feel that way, no, because clarity is a, it's, it's a very strong word. It's really. Yeah, but I think I, I project a lot more. It doesn't feel, yeah, outside looking, it's, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm not unclear, I'm more stubborn. Like I just, like I will pick something. So I think that comes across as me having clarity, yeah, so we're going to, we're going to do a little bit of a background to tell us about yourself. So we kind of know who you are. You don't have to say like, oh, I was born in, but do I think more so, like, why should people listen to you? And I, I want you to like speak from a perspective of a thought leader in this kind of conversation. Why should people actually tuning to the podcast right now and hear your sentiments about life? Because you'd be talking on your podcast. And you'd be talking on TikTok and you'd be very direct to the camera. That is true. My name is Ego, of course, I am a creator in the context of this conversation. I think the value that I have, I, I have a very whimsical approach to life. That's the best word that I can, that I can use to describe it. I think I've come to, to realize that a lot of things that I thought were just normal common sense, like my approach to life, I've found over the past decade have seemed, I guess, to some people exceptional. Yeah, you know, so I didn't, it wasn't something that I thought was, was exceptional. I just, I just thought like that, but that's like, that's just how you, you live life. Yeah. You, you look at the, I like to say, like, we're not victims to our fates, but I do think like there's value in accepting, like the hands that you've been dealt and I don't, I, I, I've, at some point, I learned that it's, it's a lot easier to walk up, like the mountain of your life and like focus on the sides, instead of the top, that sounds very like Ted Tokie. No, for sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It does make sense. And I, for, for, for better or worse, I do want my overall life to be, to, to have been easy, not to have been through the easy moments, but I, I don't want to have struggled through like all my life because I was like resisting my own life so much, you know, so yeah. So it just helps to focus on who I was and then figure out what my environment was going to look like based on who I was, instead of like putting myself in environments and trying to like figure out what I want to be in that environment, just, it makes, it made more sense for me to just figure out who I was, put myself in environments and foster that if I want to change who I want to be, then I go seeking an environment that would fit what I, you know, I'm changing into on the inside, instead of the other way around, if that makes sense. Oh. Yeah, I'm trying to stop saying if that makes sense because it does make sense. And I'm going through a whole epiphany, you saw me, you saw me think, right? I was like, oh, because I feel like I struggled, guys, it's going to be a therapy session. I'm going through it. Okay. This is going to be a therapy. I'm going to go back to therapy. I have to, my brain is too much, it's too much to go, I'm going back therapy. Okay. 22 and 6. I'm going back therapy. Another point. The point is, you're so right. Because I think for a lot of us as humans growing up, we, we tend to fall into the cycle of wanting our environment to tell us what to do, especially with social media. You're stuck scrolling, you're stuck trying to be what other people are because you think that's where you're supposed to be. We sent, we lose our sense of self and value in the space. I love when you say like, oh, you know who you are and then you create or curate spaces and places that you want to be that fostered that person. And I've seen that because I don't think I would ever see you put yourself in like crazy situation. It's just because like, it's just, it's so necessary, but I feel like I tend to do that a lot. I think you do that a lot too, Donald. Yeah. Yeah. Why do we do that? I don't know. I'm just, I always get that glimpse of who I want to be after the fact, because I feel like I moved through life with the wind blowing my back, what do they mean? Like, being like, oh, like, this is where I want to go, wind blowing, okay, let me go there. I'm like and see and put my, my body there so it blows me towards that direction. Yeah. I do, I do want to say that is what I admire the most about the people that don't operate like me because there's a level of, it's not, I don't always want like, want to have, I've had enough foresight in my life, right? So the older I go, the more I have to actively put myself in situations where like, because it makes you, it makes you live, it's not fully like, I haven't lived a fully like risk adverse life, but being an entirely wise person, I don't think I've actually called myself a white, but being an entirely wise person, it's not always, it makes it very careful person, which means like a lot, the, the bulk of your life, it won't be made because it will be perfectly enjoyable to you, but there's, there's a, there's a care freeness that I just don't, that I just don't have, and I think my, not who I am on the inside, but the circumstances surrounding like, how, how, where I was born, the position I was born into, all the circumstances and like, you know, my upbringing and all those things did not help all, so it just, I feel like it has made me a very careful person. So there isn't a lot of, you know, there's like, oh, I too, at some point, I like, I wish I could go crazy, but I'm just like, I've seen why I should have. I just, you know, yeah, but, but there's something to be said about like experiencing something and then learning what the experience is, because those have been like the, the best parts of learning for me at the things that I've learned after the fact. You know what's interesting? I feel like when you say that, I think about me and how I move through life, because I feel like I'm very similar, I'm pretty self-aware. So I would be in situations where I know I was going to end, but because I know that doesn't mean I wouldn't take the chance, maybe I'm testing fate, maybe I'm just like, maybe... Yeah. But there's so many things I wish sometimes, I just trusted my instincts and I got to no go through with it. So there's a self-love component of it all that I think I appreciate and value about you, because in many ways, there's a level of, why would I put myself through that when I don't need to? Versus for me, it's like, I'll just do it, like, I don't care. Oh, let me so far. Like, oh, it's a suffering, I can suffer. Like, I can handle it. But like, you move through it, like, you also can defend yourself when you get hurt. Yeah. Like, I'm like, I can handle the pain, so I might as well go ahead, rather than thinking, why should I have to handle the pain? Like, why do I need to put myself through that? I think, I can put myself through that, as long as they're happy, as long as this thing is going on, which is an interesting perspective too. Okay, so, do we have the FIP thing? Yeah. Do you bring one for you, too? No, I'm just kidding. I knew you were going to. Why? Yes, so on the podcast. I'm the guest. I'm your guest. Ooh, I do have one. Exactly. So we're going to be doing something called, this came up on my FIP, hashtag, this came up on my FIP. I've not seen you guys put the hashtag in, so you guys have to put a hashtag in and show us what has come up on your FIP. Why ask people about stuff on their FIP looking for your phone? Yeah. What's your phone? My phone? It's on the thing. I think so. Yeah. Oh, it's behind you, never mind. It's within the, it's green. That's one. There we go. Um, where we just share things that are currently happening on our FIP and then we yap about it. I scrolled a lot to find something, something exciting about my FIP, I won't, I won't, you know, but I want to see normal though, and I'm fine with anything. So what's your bring, what's your bring with you today? And we can do like one or two, because I have a few, two. I have two. Okay, let me see. Let's start with you. And while she's looking for hers. Okay. So I have two, because I feel like this two videos describe my FIP. Don't. Don't say FIP is crazy. Just start with the, the one that I will consider just like a gimmick. Okay. Right. Okay. Says this one. I saw that. I gave you is, depending if you go for it, give your lady a budget allowance for month. Right. I feel like I have low and high months, but now I'm getting to my higher months now. Last month, business did. I'm just saying over 50k, but uh, you should give you a lady allowance. If I, if you could afford one cake, one cake, you could afford two cake, two cake, you could afford three cake month, three cake, and that allowance. Okay. Her nail. Okay. So he's saying that like you should give your girlfriend, or the significant order, like between like one to five care months, depending on if you can afford it. Mm-hmm. And I agree. You should. One of the reasons why I saved it, because I was like, I want to make a video like this as a gimmick. Mm-hmm. That like I want to put this out into the internet to like join the conversation, not because I can afford to do that right now. But if I could, I would. Okay. Okay. I think that what he's saying makes sense, but I think that people already do that. We just don't call it that. Right. Like when you're in a relationship or a partnership with someone, you guys kind of already spend money on each other monthly. Yeah. That maybe you're not outrightly saying you're spending money. And you're not like, you're not thinking about like, oh, I spent a thousand on you this month. I think for most of healthy relationships, it's like, if you have bi-groceries or if you go out and you see a teddy that they might like or you see a drink, they might like, like those things add up to where like, so people, a lot of people struggle then after some time because they're not cautious about it. But I imagine issues come up with a lot of relationships when they forget to care for their partner. So when last year you buy a partner, flowers, when last year you go to the movies together, that allowance is intentionality about their relationship. So like, I feel like someone would look at that and be like, yeah, man, give me five K. Let me go spend it. Or another version of that is, oh, I want to make sure I'm putting a thousand dollars, two hundred dollars, ten dollars, four dollars, five dollars. So for me and my partner to have a good time. Let her get her nails done. Is there something to say about the fact that like, they were not a lot of men in his comments. It was food for women. Because men don't like being told to spend their money on women. Because I think like, you don't, I don't want to hear someone telling me to give somebody my money for free. Like, I've even listened to that. I was like, I get it. But like, it feels weird. Someone is telling me to spend one thousand dollars on my singing thing or there. Like, I wouldn't want to digest that. Like, especially in this economy. Also the climate. Yes. Yeah. And this economy we're talking about, like, you're telling me to tell me when there's somebody who's probably working in the old money and who it's not flipped. So like, in that situation, are you telling the woman to spend the same or not? And of course, hashtag for me is in my hashtag, I support women's rights and wrongs, hashtag women are not spending money on men, hashtag, women's apartments, hashtag for female gender equality. In that situation. Yeah. hashtag. Hmm. Oh, yeah. That's also it. It's who I don't piss me off. Believe that shit. No, it says. I'm listening. I was, I was fully on my own when he, when he brought that to my attention. What? The video or the person? The video. The video and the person. Cause I'm like, I had moved off from this person like two, two years ago. Like, oh, yeah. Ben, Ben moved on. Now you tried to fired me up. No, no, no. Okay. We're talking about somebody guys who can't say their name because I refuse to say it. What do you think about the $1,000 $5,000 debacle? Oh, I, it makes, absolutely, the engagement makes sense. Yeah. Yeah. It's, yeah. Who's like raised big? Cause I feel like someone raised big. No, it is raised big. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. When you think men should give women like $5,000 and... I saw that rarely things about one man should and shouldn't do. I think, I think men are already doing that. They just don't want to like be told that they are spending like a lot of sums of money. Yeah. What... Besides games and women, what do men spend their money on generally speaking? I'm sure they're like men who consider themselves to be outliers. But most men already spend a bulk of their income. Can you please say that again? I know. Or you said this as someone who does not think about what men should they should not do. Just for the sound bite, please. Oh, that's someone that doesn't think of what men should or shouldn't do. I had chills. I had chills. I had chills. Did you see me? That's the minus fictional. Yeah. Tell me about it. Yeah. What is this? Yeah. Okay. So, mine is this. Or on the daughter? Please deliver my daughter's profile. She's a lesbian. I can't sleep profile because of that. Please deliver her profile. You like women? Yes. You don't like boys? No, I don't. How old are you? I'm 20 years old. How many relationships are there now? Two or three? I know a lot of them are girls. Yeah. You've not tried boy before. I have. I didn't like it. She's not a lesbian. If she was, you know, they won't try. Why? Who did she grow up with? It's me. You know, it's the absence of a father. I brought this to you. Okay, perfect. When a father was born, I was actually raised. Where the father is absent? It affects the mind of the child. Oh. Okay, perfect. Or the protection and love father is supposed to give. If they don't get it, is that they become masculine? Oh. Five feminine. What does that mean? Is it that they will be looking for key and protection from a fellow woman? Or they will become masculine. They will be protected themselves. Now, they are looking for another gay. And if it's a case that the person did not become a lesbian, the person always looked for men. Seriously. And be ready to be taken man. Please now, please stay with me. Because why? There was no father. But that is what is disturbing now. Do you have a gay friend now? No, I don't. When last were you in the relationship? A couple of months ago. So why did you break up with your gay friend? It wasn't working out. So it was gay gay. The relationship, you know what? Yes. Why? We had our own problems. As I would always be having problem with... No relationship will last. No gay gay relationship will last. Are you intending more chisos? It's not working out. It's just... He's looking at me. That's not a problem now. He's here as a problem. Come. Leave her first. You have split of lost. I heard me. That's the profit. That's not speaking. We can't maintain a relationship. If you enter somewhere, it's due to a distraction almost. They're a true profit. They're a true profit. They're a true profit. Something that will make you look outside or somebody calling you from outside. Those to start a relationship. Yes, profit. Even this one you are in now will not last. Yes, profit is true. What do you mean profit? I saw that. I immediately went... This can't be real, but it was. Of course it's true. I saw the pure... First of all, I would absolutely murder my mother. If she put me on stage in that way, to come and tell me so much about my business, and in the amount of God is saved, my relationship will never be well, because it's gay long gay. Gay long gay. Gay long gay. And because of... Why does a mother have a quivering leg? Her voice is crying about it. That's the funniest part. I don't get it. There's so many things. I feel like there's so many things in the world. I feel like people would need to not be worried about, and that is one of them. There's a certain level of... foolishness and stupidity that comes in hand. Conversations like this. That makes no sense to me. People are... Yeah, overly concerned about people's private parts. That is true. Overly concerned. In the day and age, we're like... I don't know why. Because I think we talk about the middle ages and olden days where everyone was just like, people were just doing whatever, having the best time living life. And then, I guess, in many ways, whether that's religion, whether that's civilization, culture, I don't know what it is, that's turned us into judgmental humans. I don't... I don't understand the... How is the access? Well, I mean, one of the things I think is the access. We see way too much of each other. You couldn't judge someone when like... You know... You had to wait weeks for your... Let's have to get to like, people that I actually care about. If you have to sit with a quilt to write a letter to someone, you will have fewer comments to make, I'm sure. Mm-hmm. I mean, but those things... Those things were still happening, right? Like, without video, it's unfortunate that like, that is people's ways of life. Yeah. Right? That's their culture. Like, they're in a bubble. Yeah. And it's like... We can't understand it because we're not in that bubble, but it's like... We're not in that bubble. Well, I mean, we're not living in that bubble, but the bubble... Like... The bubble exists. Exists like adjacent to us. But it's like... Well, we... We're far. Are we? Yeah, we are. I'm right sitting beside you. I'm not far. I mean, that's it. My mother is definitely sending me mom right now. I mean, mom in Nigeria is praying for me right now. Very important. Okay, I think the word is shooted. We're shooted from... No, because I've got the cold city about since... Oh, okay. It's no far away. So I think for a lot of conversations I have on the podcast, right? I'll give you an example. On the last episode with me and Justin, she talked a little bit about my sexuality, and we talked a little bit about being African in reality TV. And there's a clip that could definitely be cut and put online. As I say this, I just knew maybe somebody out there is going to cut this clip and go and post it. Well, I remember my social media team wanted me to cut it and post it. And I said, no, because I like to separate long... People don't like watching the podcast. If you sit and watch my podcast, or listen to it on Spotify and whatever you listen, you're an OG pod fam. Like you care about me, my life, you wouldn't want to do it in that crazy context, everything. But if you watch a clip, you are very much known as really ingrained in my life, right? So I always worry that people can cut clips and then take down and run with it. So she reached out to me, she had a clip of me talking about like, oh, yes, you know, I am gay, and my mom doesn't know about it, and it's still very much like nerve-wracking and blah, blah, blah. And she was like, we can clip this and post it, and that would definitely get engagement. People would definitely be talking. I just got scared. So this is not far. Like it's very close. Like I texted and I said, no, I can't do that. Like I can't post that. I swear to you, man. Because first of all, I can confidently say that on here, was sitting on the video and saying it directly, which I am doing right now, but having that clip cut supposed to, it's still for me so nerve-wracking and scary, and then thinking about the repercussions of it, which I don't necessarily always think about. Because again, yeah, you're right. Like I am in some level of a shoulder bubble, but also still not. Back to what we're talking about with how you give your guys. Yeah. Because I'm still very much cautious of everybody around me. Because she's cautious by the same time. You're doing it. Yeah, like I'm in the fire 24, so I'm going crazy. I'm always in the fire. Like the conversations we have on the podcast are stuff that like I know get me in trouble. Right. But the whole point of my mind is a lot is to get myself in trouble, but also like have these tough conversations, because humanity needs to learn that your way is not the highway. Like there's so many different opinions that we need to be able to digest and not judge people for. And this is an example of like Africans are just so hell bent on this particular rhetoric. Because of course, I think that's South African. I feel like that was South African. Yeah, somewhere. Yeah, somewhere South African. Yeah, South Africa. And like to think about a young like that girl, right? Like what is the repercussion of seeing that video has how many views? 70,000 likes. Yeah. 2000 plus comments. Mind you, South Africa. That's the only country in Africa that being gay is legal. And that's a pastor is still having a conversation. And there's still there's people people who like to fear the unknown, right? So for them, it's like, oh, because her father wasn't around. So she's gay and the people who have had love and parents who turn out gay. So that doesn't track. There's so many reasons why people would try to put you in a box and make you feel like you should have a reason for being different or being not the same as everybody else. But for so many people who are one thing, how are you being different? If there's no difference, essentially. Anyways, rant over a little bit. Any thoughts before we go into your video? About that. Yeah. I just, it feels familiar. I mean, I guess like for us, it's not homosexuality, but I've ticked every box that you could possibly tick with the African parent in the African parent category, except apparently finding a husband. Which we'll talk about. There's always something. Yeah. Okay, Donald. Oh, wait. No. You have to do yours now. Damn. I have neither a homo, a phobic pastor, or nor a rage, a rage beta. You know that there are cameras in this room. They know what to. I said all the time. They just ignore it. God pray to God. I said, that's how it goes on. Every album. Every Jesus. And every album. I believe that people need what they need to survive. But I don't think there's a floating man with a blowout. No. Maybe a beaver. Maybe an artwork. Maybe a body of water. Wow. Are there any white people you would invite to? I saw that clip. Yeah. And I loved it. Because first of all, like, he's such a match for his e-way. And like, she, she could tell every time he spoke, she was just like, this is going to be so good. Yeah. But you're right. That's the lean into the conversation we had on the podcast the last time about organized religion being a scam. And when he said, like, trust it. It's like I, that's what my entire philosophy around religion is. I enjoy that people have belief systems that hold them accountable. Like, if that's the case for you, like, I would always support. I'm always happy for you. But at the same time, like, my belief doesn't have to be your belief. You can all just coexist. Because I've had conversations with people where they're like, like, wow, you really, you really believe this. Yeah. You're my friend. Like, I love you. Like, you really believe this. You're deep in it. And I think like, even being close to home and like having a mom that has a church and all of that. Like, I respect it. Because like, I can't tell you. And being like, oh, my God. Like, the God you serve is not real. I don't know. Like, I actually don't know. Yeah. I mean, you're going all the way to mommy. I was deep in it. Like, I was full. Like, nobody. This wasn't like what I was going to church because of my parents. Like, I moved to a different country. I was fully really. Yeah. Okay. Christian. Yeah. Do you know that growing up, she was like my, if I was to describe her, I'd be like, oh, that's my Christian sister. Really? Watching. Yeah. She was in the choir and all of that. Yeah. Yeah. Like, and more, well, not more. You can't win an award for being a Christian. Although I knew some Christians have tried. But I've read the Deuteronica Bible. Like, the Bible that has more books than the actual Bible. Like, songs of Solomon. What was the word changed? At some point, I actually wanted to control my life. So while I understand what you're, where you're coming from, my song that has actually lived. It's, there's a lot of like, not having control. And seeking, like seeking comfort in someone that you think has control over your love. But, but when you actually like, look here, like you look at yourself in the mirror, I said, I've never, nothing like the more I grew to understand what love was. Because I got to God, the less Christian I became. It was like this, like in, like inversely proportional graph, where honestly seeking God lets me just not be in a Christian. I'm just like, this is just not true. There's no way. If there is an actual God, you know, and I said it before, he's not all powerful. Like, I'm comfortable with having a God that is clearly not all powerful. Cannot help everybody. But it's like the cognitive dissonance at some point, like my brain, my heart, my mind, everything just couldn't. And I spent way more energy, a lot of my life was like trying to present myself as like these three things combined. But when, like I fully accepted my, like myself, like fully imperfect, which like, there are lots of, like if they are good Christian churches that teach you a smooth way to do that, like, like live that life and then integrate yourself in the world, that aren't like that pastel or mommy. But, but, but those churches are like far and few in between. And even those churches, like if you stay long enough, it's still going, it's like some, it's like going to, it's like, it's like being Tom Cruise in Scientology, right? Because everyone is not getting Tom Cruise treatment. But if you're an elite employee, you have an entirely different Christian experience than other people. You, you definitely helped, because I thought I went on as young guy, I used to go crazy, right? Because I lived in a house where it was me, you, like even before. For context. So ego is an elder sister, right? Donal is a middle child, and you have two more siblings here. I'm not the middle child. You are the middle child. You are the second born. Okay. You're a middle child. Donal is, donal is a middle child, and then he has another sister. How many, how far are you from your next six years? Six years. How far are you? Four. Okay, so that was pretty spread out. Yeah. And then last. I had, okay, you were the middle child. Yeah. But. Fifteen and six, and I'm middle. Yeah, because you got comfortable and then did something against you. And then you got comfortable. What did I do? I didn't do anything. You got comfortable. Like, you thought they were done and they weren't, and they did it again. And you were like, I did. We thought, yeah. Like, imagine both of you living, and then six years of time, someone comes again, like, bro, relax. And then fifteen. Eight seemed for me. That's it. Yeah. So I can imagine, I brought that up because like for you guys to give context about what their relationship looks like, she's an elder sibling. And elder sisters also have to deal with the law. And there's two boys and two girls. So she's one of a girl, one girl, and then one of a boy. Go ahead, please. Context. No, yes. Very important. I think it was, I almost, because I noticed I went to a Christian school, Christian secondary school, Christian university. But I remember being in the house. And like, you would like, everything she would co-sign, everything that like my mom would do. Not like directly. You know, like when the pastor will come to the house, like on Christmas day or New Year's and they're praying and doing all their shabbat, blah, blah, blah. You know. I was like co-signing. No, because you were partaking in it as a child. But for me, it's like, I was always looking at everybody like, I was going back to bed. I was going on. So it was so refreshing. When, and this, this sounds like, I might sound like a devil, right? After so long, you seem like. You're also refreshing when I saw her like make certain choices. First of all, like, the part and I choose her own way. But at the same time, you know, we didn't that like decide to like, you know what? Like, not saying like she didn't necessarily have, we didn't have a conversation about like, oh, I don't believe in this, but I just saw you just kind of like drift away from it. That just, that was healing for me because it was like, okay, I'm not crazy. Like, you know, I'm not crazy. It's like, like, we can see. And especially for someone like her, who like, I look to make a lot of like decisions, right? It's like education wise. I think that was one thing that like, we definitely were not on the same page, but like, because like, it's like, it's too okay, right? You were waiting for me to enter my heathen era. I wasn't waiting. It's like it relates to me. I don't hit my mom. I love my mom, you know, and my mom is Christian. Oh, this is, you know what I mean? But it's like, I don't, but it was interesting. But where, where did that like happen for you? Where did what happened? Like the change. For me, the chain happened gradually. I think with my temperament, it could only have happened gradually. There's like, it wouldn't have. I would have felt too torn if it had happened overnight. But I think. A lot of it was. Me find like this, like leaving home and going to Ghana. And then being in Ghana. Like, yeah, I went to the university. Yeah. And the funny thing is like, so I left Ghana. There was a lot of unconditional love. It's not something that I had experienced in Nigeria. So in the church, because as much as they tried to convince you that the love of God is unconditional, not in the church. Yeah. It's actually not. There are many conditions. Yeah. If you read the fine prints, that is not so fine. But. But in going to Ghana, I got introduced to like a new set of like, so it was a different kind of Christianity. And actually, I got to feel. What I don't want to not like say it's not love because I don't have a relationship anymore because somehow as I moved into the next rhythm of life, like coming here and getting to know myself again, like in my 20s, I could no longer like I had to leave those people kind of behind and lose that community too. When I finally decided to not be a Christian, but there was like, but I evolved from this weird. Give everything that you ought to go. Like let him think, feel and do everything for you. Into a more like, oh, you have some agency in your life. And that's a questioning things in church. And it was the question. And it was the question. And I think it was all it was been non-answer to the question. And I think that was the, the, what they call it, the bird in the canary. The canary in the, Kenny, the canary in the coal mines. Yes. The canary in the coal mines. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. I was like, wait a minute. I hear anything. I think what I, I enjoy by conversation with you is, there are also people who could be listening to this who might have gone through the same path and chose also to remain Christian or to remain in the church. And also think that's a conversation about people choosing their own paths, but the beauty and the choice, right? Like if you do all your research, if you're thinking for yourself, then whatever path you choose is because you're thought for yourself. And a lot of us growing up don't necessarily have the bandwidth, the support, the agency to choose for ourselves. So does that also, do you think we're able to choose for ourselves because we moved away, because we weren't in the thick of it, because we weren't, because like I, I think for me, a lot of my agency comes from the fact that I wasn't around, like physically around things that would either hold me back or have me not go too far in my questioning, right? Yeah. Because then that's where the shielding comes into play too. And finding success and growth is never in your hometown. It's never in your home country. Like it's just, it's not like that. Like you have to constantly think and ask the right questions to feel like you can move past something. So I think is that, do you guys think that's a huge factor and I think why we think the way we do? I think on some level, it might be a chicken and egg thing. I think there's something about the call of the wild, that calls to certain people that are willing to answer the court. It takes a lot of courage. Yeah. And courage is a very like, on the retail thing, because like, you know, like love is very like front and center and like kindness. It is on the retail. Yeah. But like you, but you need courage. It's home. No, that is home. Yeah. But how are you looking? Yeah. Yeah. I feel courageous. Yeah. You need courage to practice everything else anyway. So I think there's something about it. It's not as soon as I came here, as soon as I saw, like I got a little bit of what the lay of the land was in America. Immediately. You want to come to America? Because he had a much better chance of surviving at home. Yeah. I couldn't, I would have died in Nigeria. And by not physically, but like my soul would have died in Nigeria. There was nothing there for me. Yeah. Yeah. There was nothing there for me. But you could have found it with like thrive. He was already thrive. He was like a huge like life downgrade in coming in and starting all over again. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I didn't even know how much I would change when I got here. But I just knew that like, I don't know what it is, but yeah. It was crazy. I feel like that's it. I feel like that we could go so deep into it. And we have a lot to even cover about 2026 and growing up. Yeah. But there's so much to be said about, because we're three immigrants who have come into a country and there's a lot of conversation about even us being here. But how much opening our eyes as inspired us to dream differently and to see things differently. And this is so deep. But there's a conversation to be had about either succeeding, you know, carbon, the bucket mentality. Well, you all know the same thing. You live the same way. And then you fight. You're all fighting each other versus someone can go out and be like, oh, it actually is better there. You can take from here and put it there and build ourselves up. How do we? How do we find the courage to have been do that to like for people who can't leave their current circumstances? How can they still find the courage to be the best version of their selves with what the cars that are being dealt? Yeah. So you see, answering that question is, it's easier, but it's also difficult, right? Because I think one of the, the blessings that I think like I had when I was like making those decisions is that like, I did not grasp my reality. I didn't really understand what was going on in the moment. Right. And this is something that we discussed a lot because when we moved to this country, it was a different like life shift, like comfort coming here and like, and even though we were technically suffering. Did register. Even though we were suffering, it didn't register that like, oh, you're actually suffering right now. Right. And I think that's why for me first, I someone who doesn't like who isn't like a believer, right? I've always found comfort in family and community. And when you have family like that, I was never felt at a loss. Yeah. I mean, so it's like, I think it was, that's why it was easier to make those decisions. But I imagine someone who puts a lot of weight around like why people who like are actually living in their reality, right? Let's say they're older, even if they're younger, if you're like 16 making those decisions and like, you're really thinking about like, what is the impact? What impact do this have to my friend? Am I going to miss this friend? And maybe like this selfishness, maybe there's like just like openness, like maybe there are a lot of things around that. But I think that's what made that decision like easy than like for other people. And there's also the economical aspect of it, right? It's like the opportunity, right? Having the opportunity to be able to make that choice versus people who can. Yeah, sure. I think for people that are back home, I don't want to like say what I'm going to say. It sounds like I believe that people are predestined to be brave enough to follow their path or not be brave at all. Because like you said, there are circumstances that lead to that lead to like people choosing all the paths that they choose. Being aware, being hungry for knowledge or like, you know, not to mention like being brought up in the kind of home where we were fortunate enough to be neglected in a way that made us in like in inquisitive. Yes. Okay. So like I always say like everybody. But not really like that with the character. Yes, anyone who knows me in real life knows that like like I've been watching TV since I have been born. I had like used to pay for, we used to joke about it. He used me for like the food DSTV bouquet. And you don't know how much value there is in having access to the food DSTV bouquet. You go out, you go like out in Lagos and you talk to people that don't have that accessing. You're talking about certain things that you've seen on TV in different parts of the world. And they're like, so it's a form of education that like isn't counted as education. But it puts like a hunger in your soul where like the child just knows that like they are meant for more. And then because they just know that like what they are seeing is real life. But it's like it's one small part or they know that like that's not all life was. So I'm not going to use myself as an example. I'll use like some of the friends that I and Nigerian friends that grew up in Ibadon. And I said I just said Ibadon like Ibadon is like some village. But they grew up in. But yeah. In most parts. Compared to like most big cities. There's a different like Ibadon is growing. But like Ibadon is not Lagos. Yeah. And anyway, or even Abuja. But friends like, you know, like my friend Aisha. The friends that I that I end up being the closest to when I and when I got to Ghana. I'm using Aisha as an example. Aisha and I like part of the reason why we're born that is because we were the only people that understood. How up like the obsession with CW. Like TV shows were and that like there are many people who were like, oh, I've seen the show. Because like they've bought like the DVD with like six episodes in some market or something. But like she was the first person that I that knew that like all these different shows were all CW and CW used to be one. Like was one of brothers and was so things like that. But Aisha is in a very. When I finally reconnected with her last year, it was not shocking to me that she's a full feminist. Yeah. It was not shocking to me that like she I think she she's in Belgium now. It was not shocking that like at some points like Nigeria just was and she was like, no, I have to go this. There's a there's a hungry. But a lot of this is all bringing. But there's a there's a very small percentage of people who just have it in them like they have the hunger. I'm not one of those people I think I'm very suggestible. And if I was born on that very different circumstances, I wouldn't have known that I was missing out on an entirely different life. I don't think. Oh, interesting. I feel like I can see that too because when you talk about like following your mom and being Christian and then reading away, I really think for a lot of people, the difference between the life you want and the life that you're currently living is curiosity. I don't think a lot of people are curious enough because curiosity means you're not scared of the unknown. Yes. And to control people, you have to be scared of the unknown. Like that's how the world works. Like gay people are scary. Trans people are scary. I think it's just scary. Russia is scary. China is scary. Nigeria is scary. South Africa is scary. Like working as fast as scary. Congo is scary. Palestine is scary. Israel is scary. It's all scary. It's all scary. And so if you're in your own bubble, then you can't go past that's because for you it's like, I would like good someone that could potentially burn me when I'm safe here. But there's so much growth that is outside of the fear because you learn so much. And it's still scary, right? But I think you can see us like on the couch when we're having conversations. It's not from a place of close-mindedness, like at all. Like in fact, if anything, like I could be having the same conversation with someone who is full-blown Christian, who believes in God and everything else. And there's no ounce of judgments in me, just curiosity. Because for me, it's like, how do you arrive at that conclusion? I respect that you arrive at that conclusion. If you're able to tell me exactly how you arrived at it, and I can move on from it. Because for me, you understand what you're in. And I think about this from people who are also looking for their goals. How people are able to just lock in, but also be curious. It's not, it can't be taught. I think that's the conversation of like, you have to sort of be born with it. But it can be taught, but it could be learned. It could be fostered. It could be fostered. It could be fostered. If you put your mind to it, if you're open to it. So we're going to transition into fear. You know what's crazy? It's like, guys, I'm having a assistant show out of body experience. Because I produce the show to it, every time I'm writing, and I'm also on the show, it's weird. Because I can see it from all angles. And like we're also tapped in because it's like, it's interesting how fear came into the conversation. Because while I was thinking about the episode, that's why we put fear there because I'm like, this feels like the next thing. So it's kind of like confirming how like it just goes in. And then you two just like tapped into that. That's like giving you the high five. It's such a strange man. What are you scared of? You're so good. It's also, I think it's a director in me too. Right? What are you scared of? You can't take note of the question. No, like, what am I scared of? Hmm. Okay. I used to be scared of not making it. Okay. What is making it? I want to talk about that. What is making it for me? For me, when I was younger, I would say sub 23. It was becoming a millionaire. Okay, okay. It's becoming a millionaire in dollars. Right. Only in a home being able to travel to any way I want to go. Okay. Being able to provide for my family, all of that. Having like a movie do really well. Right? It's like globally in cinemas. And just becoming someone who is like respected for like his art. But also, like, I wanted that to happen at 25. But I think, what's the question again? What's your fear? I'm so long ago. No, because the previous answer was like before. What are you scared of now? Now, I'm scared of not living life in a very, in the most authentic way possible. Okay. You know, I think that's like my, my compass is like every day, I'm like, how do I feel? Like, is this something that I want to do? Is this something that's like, I'm excited about doing and making sure, like, that's what I'm working towards like every single day versus having like any other, like those metrics that I had before when I was younger. I think that's like the difference. So I'm afraid of that. You know, because if I don't make millions of dollars in my life, I would not see that as a disappointment. Okay. Do you know what I mean? I don't believe it though. Like, but it's not like I don't want to. Okay. Right? That goal is too there. Mm-hmm. But like, that's not the thing that makes me happy. That's not the main goal. Yeah. Okay. The thing that makes me happy is it's like, I need to make sure I'm enjoying and happy in the things that I'm doing first. Mm-hmm. Because if not, I sometimes catch myself wanting to make compromises and other decisions that I believe will get me to that goal faster. I see what you mean. You get what I mean? Yeah. Okay. What about you? Well, I thought you were going to. You know. You're not answering the question. It's my own size after. Ah. It wasn't that. I was percolating. Because I thought, yeah. I thought you would go and then come to me. No. Keep your guys on your toes. What am I scared of? My, uh, mm-hmm. It doesn't, it's actually, I don't know. Mm-hmm. I think the one of my biggest fears is probably that I will die and no one would have seen me. Mm-hmm. Which I, that, that's like the easiest way I can say it. But I, I don't know how. Because I am, like, I'm, I'm very me. But I am, I am very careful about how I'm expressing like all the different facets of me and so I, I don't, there is, there is a. See me in full. I don't know. Like some kind of like, I don't know if you've seen those, um, uh, yoga. Um, I, I, I like, I heard it post as where the person has like, they're sitting down and it's like, it's one being, but then they're like, most people being, you know, yeah, yeah. So it's like, I, I always wonder if like, someone will ever see like a fully integrated, I mean, I guess that person could be myself. If I will ever like see like a fully integrated version of myself and not like all the different, like parts that you can collect from other people. I, I don't think so. I think it's a very romanticized, um, version of love that I have in my head, but it is, yeah, it is a, you know, it's, it's, it's, it's also, I mean, obviously needs therapeutic inputs into that. I see. I think I hear what you're saying in terms of like one is to be seen fully. Um, I think, um, I'm scared of looking stupid. And what? And I didn't, for the longest time, I used to answer that as in like failure. But of course, failure has always been a big part of it. But I think I lost myself when I started being so cautious about people's perceptions of me and not wanting to look stupid. Right. And I think of the, I'll come, I quote, you're afraid of looking stupid, is holding you back. And I think when I first started, the beauty of me growing up was I was so curious. I didn't care what I, how I came across. I was so loud. I was vivacious. I was excited. I was so me and me was so bold. And I still am. But as a part of me now that every time I want to do a video, I want to talk to people. I get cautious of being taken for idiots. Like I get cautious of people underestimating me. And I think that's a huge, that has a huge part to deal with. People having been underestimating me for a long time. As this, oh, she's unserious, right? So now I feel stupid because you, you know, you don't bet on me. So I want to prove to you. And then it's a cycle that I'm always running. And so it's something I'm trying to be cautious about for next year. It's like, I really shouldn't give a flying fudge. What people think of me as long as I know who I am. But it's also an insecurity of, I don't know what I'm doing either. Like we none of us do, right? But we're just kind of winging it. But when you feel insecure about winging it and people are saying, oh, but you're stupid, then it's like a double edged sword because you're like, where do you lie? So I think that's one of my fears. And so I bring that up because as we're chasing our dreams into 2026, how are we able to, sort of like take control of that fear? I'm turning into motivation. So for you, how are you able to, how, what are your plans for the next year essentially? And don't hold you to that you're going to put into place to get you to where you need to go. I could start while you guys are reminading on what to say. So for, for me, I think I've not said this already anywhere else. So things, and I say this here because by the time you guys watch this, I actually will be MIA. And I've actually never gone offline since I started social media. You guys should be thinking about your own as I'm talking. I've never gone offline. I've never gone offline. I have never not scrolled. I've never not been on Instagram. I've never not been on Twitter. Never I've never, like if I'm on a plane, I am still scrolling on something. I've never in the eight years, I mean, I'm sick. I'm opening my phone to check TikTok first. Like Instagram, I've never gone offline. If I'm even like, oh, I'm taking a break from posting, I am still scrolling. I have never been off the grid in eight years since I social media. So I've been going through so much personally in this year. And I'm very much in that year of growth for myself. So if I was that for me, that I didn't realize that I need a fucking break. And so many people's perceptions of me have warped my perception of myself. And I think it's come out in my content. It's come out a bit in like how flighty, for lack of a better word. I've become because I'm like, I know I'm chasing something. I'm not sure what it is yet. But I know like I want to be successful. And I just need a break. So I'm going before the beginning of 2016, I'm going off grid. Like no social media, no posting, no anything. The team is going to be posting all of this content. So you guys will still see this for the podcast. And I think I might be active. I'm still not sure I'm that's going to work for everywhere else. But I'm taking a break so I can be better prepared for the kind of year I want for myself next year. So I'm very, I'm very nervous about that. Actually, I don't know what it looks like to wake up and go to the gym and post it on Snapchat. Yeah. Like wake up and go for a walk and I record it. Like I don't know what that looks like. I've never, I've not done that. It's so long. I'm 28. I've not done that. And I started content. Yeah, when I was like, well, 2021. But I also was always watching YouTube. Even more since I was younger, I've never not been with my phone. And I think I didn't realize how bad that was for me until recently. Like I literally, I can feel the need to throw my phone away. And I still, I'm so like, oh, maybe I need to be on WhatsApp. Maybe I need to be on Facebook. Maybe I need to, but I'm like, no, like life will still go on. If I just take a two, three, four week, five week break. I'm not sure. Don't know there's a note yet. Don't know. Wait a minute. Look at what about your fear. Five weeks. Where are you going? Let's go ahead. What? Well, I'm going to be doing the opposite of what you're doing. Really. That's how I am. Yeah. Yeah. I am an expert. She is an expert. I'd be offline. Yeah. Of grid. If I could. Ex somehow express myself, but not talk to people. If I could split myself into two and put like my online presence to work. And then the rest of me is just somewhere doing what I actually enjoy doing. I like making content. I like showing up online. I do like talking for a very long time in my 20s. I told myself that I wasn't. The fact that I'm making content at all is shocking to me. Really? Yes. I was like, that's a natural progression for you. Knowing you. It's inevitable. It was never. Really? The first time she picked up the camera to appear. It wasn't. She was like. Never says hell. What? I was nervous when I first picked up the camera. I was like, who are you? I was like, who are you? Are you? I don't know, but I totally agree with you. What else can I do? I think you had to tell me that. I was like, who is, who is this level level number? Like you. Yeah. I thought. I've thrown up, like giving a chemistry presentation before. Yeah. And that was my life partner. So if you're watching this now, do you hear that? Like you don't have to. Yeah. All camera ready. Like you can actually learn and teach yourself. If you put her channel in the description. Which one? The old channel. The DIY channel. Oh, guys, I do so well now. Thank you. Gras, shoot. Yeah, it's, I think that's why I can, when I tell people to, you know, like whatever advice I'm giving to any of my videos, I'm like, I really mean it. Yeah. Yeah, I really like, I have used the notebooks, I've used Q-cards, I've had him stand in front of me. And like, for next year and I, gonna do more posting, more active. I'm going to post, I'm going to try to be more on the go. And I mean, I won't record myself while I'm exercising because I don't, well, I'm a walker. Yeah. I would say if it was good enough for Jesus, it was good enough for me. Period. So. Yes. But I also have a little bit of a resistance. No, some of the Jesus was a walker. So I guess he was the ultimate workout person. But yeah, no, but he walked everywhere. He did. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But no, I hit all, where are you? I think for me this year, I want to next year. Next year? Yeah, that's crazy. That was a lot of sounds. I know. I want to read more. Okay. Yeah, I want to read more. I think like, but I want to read, because I feel like I'm a soccer for education and I consume a lot of videos. Give it to me. Right. And I want to, I want to read more. I want to read more because if like, there's a lot more that I have a lot of thoughts that I'm not able to put together, right? And finding specific books and philosophers and psychologists, you know, would help me kind of like. Oh, I thought you said, I thought you're going to say, you want to say, you're going to start, like, try to read more fiction. I was, I wasn't excited. Oh, no, no, never do that. I might try to read a little bit of fiction here. I mean, you're a filmmaker. What a great issue. You should read. But also like, also write more too, right? I think so much. It's interesting because I felt like this year, I, I really just like observed, right? Like I took time to, because I felt like 2024, 2025, it was so much like, oh, should I observe? Should I make this video? Should I record this? And this year, I really just focused on observing myself, seeing the things that I gravitated towards. And just paying attention to the things that I enjoyed, right? Because one thing that I realized was I would, someone would tell me, hey, like, oh, you've been saying you want to do this thing, do it, and then I do it. And then I don't like it. And I beat myself up a lot. So, you know, so going into next year, I feel like I finally figured out the things that I actually want to do. Like just like write and enjoy. And also understand that like, if I could put some much pressure in turning 30, but understand that like, I really have a lot more work to do in terms of getting to know myself. Yeah. You know, because I don't know myself as much as, I feel like I should. And before I thought that was like a bad thing. I thought like, I should have known this. But like, no, I'm actually wanting, I want to take time to actually get to know myself. And I feel really good about 2026, so I feel like. Also, I feel like just not to interrupt you, but to also put some perspective for you. You've also been in survival mode for the longest time. You're still in survival mode, honestly. And I think for ego to is, I think you've been in survival mode. And now you're sort of like set told a little bit now. Or in many ways, you've found a stable-ish ground for you to not be like, who am I? What are my interests? What can I do from a place of clarity? And I think as we sit you're talking to you guys, like, it's hard to make plans on shaky ground. Yeah. Like I, like someone with ADHD and anxiety, like I need some structure, I need stability, I need space, I need time. So when we see I'm planning our dreams, like it's easy to be like, oh, or maybe it's introspective to be like, oh, you know, like you're trying to find yourself. But there's a certain level of self that you can't find when you're going through it with life, right? So I also want to give you like a lot of commendations, a lot of like props and flowers, because you are making a life for yourself with everything that is going on in your life, as I make sense. So I think for next year too, there's a little of that in perspective of what does it look like if everything falls into place. And now you're able to plan from solid ground. One of the reasons why I actually, you know, decided to do what I'm doing is because I realized that some of this preparation and some of these things that happen are always accounted for. Mm-hmm, right. And what I realized, like, the more I get towards that place where I'm like, okay, this is where this thing is coming, this thing that I'm excited for is coming, I'm actually being prepared. In fact, all my life is like all the ups and downs is preparing me for that. And when that next thing comes, it's like, oh, like, I'm ready to like take it over. And I think that's like, well, I'm also excited. I feel like a lot of people should be excited to, you know, because sometimes like you're reading a book, yeah, you're reading a book or you're watching a movie or you're writing something or you're having a conversation with someone you're going on for a walk. You know, it's like running the marathon. It's like, it's like good to end in like that race day comes and like now you're able to like go through it. So like, that I'm excited for, because I know the moment where like the winds that I'm looking for actually become, then it's like, you know, I think one of the biggest ones that I decided to scratch off my list next year was like, I've always said I want to be a pilot before 30. You have set up. I've always set up. I've always set up. And I just said, I'm like, actually don't care. Yeah. Why did you even say that at the beginning? That's because when I first met Donald Lowe's his biggest thing. He was very much like I must be a pilot from 30. And I was like, that's very interesting. So it was it was part of like the, be a millionaire. Like that checklist, you know, and it's just one of the things that I put because I'm like, not because someone forced me was like, this is something that I wanted to do. But I still want to learn how to fly a plane. Absolutely. So I want to do by time I turn 30, not really. Not really. It can come in the future. Yeah. You know, like that's kind of how it's going to work out. Okay. What I'm thinking about everything we've said right now. And I think the first thing that comes into my mind is, if you could think of the one thing that keeps you focused, what is that for you? What does that have it for you? Happy that keeps me focused. Like, what is that one thing in your life that you need to go back to every time you feel like you're not focused enough? For me, it's walking walking walking. Oh, yeah, I'm a, I love a walk. I do love a walk. I've never walked in a while. Interesting. I love, I love a walk. Cause a walk is like anything can happen. Well, I think maybe movement then is what I would say. Like if you're able to move, like, that's a workout walking, being active in some way and helps you like fire up your neurons. What about you? I think working out, I think I used to lean on the running a lot, but because of the weather, it's cold right now. It's freezing. Yeah, I haven't ran. I've ran twice in like the past month. Yeah. What? But I've been going to the gym a lot. You have. Yeah. I've been reading on the stairmaster. That's been helping. Reading wabs. Yeah. The first time you told me you were doing that, that sounds, cause, cause reading to me is such a, it's so beautiful. Well, you messed it up. Yeah. I'm just messing it up. Because like, no, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not saying, you know, you're messing it up for yourself. Right. I'm just saying reading is so sacred, so soft. So this is the thing is like, if I'm reading on the couch, I find it hard to focus. Right. But if I'm on the stairmaster for an hour, I can easily just be flipping through pages. It's like, I'm, I'm, I'm standing there. I'm just like, I'm like flipping through. Yeah. Wait. Why do you also find it difficult to? Yeah. But that happens when I'm sitting, when I'm standing, when I'm walking, when I'm doing things simultaneously, like, I need a break, guys. Yeah. I'm so sorry. Maybe I'm, yeah. It's so interesting. Yeah. Go ahead. No, but I think, I think fitness. Yeah. I love, I saw a video actually that said that if you have ADHD and you don't work out, how are you living? I don't know how true that is. Because there's a lot of pent up energy. Like, you need to like, yeah, if you need to like move, move your body. You are right. My life feels like it goes to shit when I don't work out. Yeah. Wait a minute, like that. Because I'm also losing weight. Because every time, every time you work out, if you pay attention, you're in the, I mean, a different routine and I can work it out. Yeah. Okay. Oh, that's a good segue then. Okay. So tell me what your daily routine is for like peak dream life. So I have this thing on my calendar that I do that. It's called my ideal schedule. What's going on? You know, he's, he's amazed because you're so locked in. It's like you're in his brain or something. He's just like, do you crown the material? No, I'm just good at what I do. You are short. No, I'm not short. Mind you. He says it's every time we do episodes. No, I know why. For this episode, because she has a lot going on. Well, I didn't actually like go through the nose. Yes. I was not as tapped in as we would have synced before. So you know what's crazy? I feel like that's why I guess so. I'm so calm. I'm proud of myself. Let me just say that because I don't worry because I know I can handle it. There's certain episodes that maybe I can feel like I'm not ready for it. Well, I already knew I wanted her on the podcast. Right. I knew, even if I saw the notes, I was able to like segue into certain things. Because I knew what I wanted to ask and say. And the notes just always help. Yeah. The certain conversations that like I know I was in while I'm recording, but I don't know that I'm like this. I don't delete it. Because I wasn't ready. I didn't know what I was going with there. This one I have an idea. So I think that's why I just segue. And it's all things I've been skipping already too. I'm just like, I don't want to say this. I don't want to talk about this. I don't want to talk about that. Anyways, to like segue, let's all like we can take a minute to just think about it. Um, what is some, what is like your ideal schedule? Like, and it's something that I want to take into 2026 that helped me. So my calendar, I have something called my, I do work schedule. My ideal life schedule. It has like the ideal time I want to wake up. The ideal time I want to work out. The ideas I want to eat. Take my meetings. So what is that for you? What are the things that habits, practices, things that you want to prioritize in your life that you think will get you to the fullest version of yourself that you want for the next year? Well, the things that I'm working, I'm not going to touch. Okay. Which is what is working is waking up as early as I can. So I can read as much as I can. The time you wake up. Like 6.30. Okay. But I don't get out of bed until like 7.30 ish. So the book is like, it's, it's beside me. It's the last thing before I go to bed. So you don't touch your phone. No, I don't. And usually the book, like the book I'm currently reading right now. It's on my, it's on e-pop. So it's on my iPad. But the iPad does not have social media on it. Okay. Well, YouTube is social media, but I don't go on YouTube for fun. Yeah. So that I think is, is, is working. So I'm not touching that. The time I wake up. I'm not touching that. I think it's trying to fit in the other things that I want to do into my morning schedule. Things like, I don't know if you look at a lot of my TikTok videos I recorded at night. But sometimes it's like, that's when the wisdom of the day has dropped. Yes. But I would like to prepare more at night so that I can film during the day when the sun is actually out. You know, yeah. So I would like to like plan more around that. It's more like I'm trying to integrate like content creating into my actual like day to day life. Which is, it's a little hard with my job because my job is, it's, it's really good. And the hours are very flexible, except for the past couple of weeks they've been, you know. Yeah. So that's, that's it. I just, I just, I want to create more. I keep, I keep seeing my book in my head. So that's, yeah, yeah, yeah. You could shoot, you should write a book. Yeah. That makes so much sense. What about you? What? I don't know. Fucking smile. Are you smirkin' like that? Think about it. No, because I'm think about it's actor. Like what is that? I'm think about it like what is, you know, my due schedule. Oh, I feel like I can even say what I do schedule it look like. Like what my due schedule? Yeah. Tell me. Okay. Waking up early as fudge, drinking coffee, going for a run or a workout, already having the day before having it to do list of the plan for the day of. Skelling your meetings in like time blocks and then you have a filming schedule right after the time block of the meeting. So then once you're done with those meetings, you don't have to stress about anything else. I do mean you want to do the meeting so you're out of the way and they're all sorted out and then you can go into your filming. After filming, you probably want to eat lunch, order and ready to have food already available. And then once you're done filming, you already have dinner, cook something for yourself while the TV's playing in the background. You can either do some stretches at night if you can or either take a book or just binge watching YouTube or something as you eat dinner while you're either editing or at least just watching some post-production shit. No notes. A lot of notes. Really? I mean, do you just want to say that just so just a little bit? No, I think that is the due schedule of past download. What would you add to the schedule of download? Future download wants to travel, wants to go on a hike, wake up in the morning in a cabin, right? Be able to take his meetings. Well, these are outliers, not something that you're doing daily. No, this is what I want daily. Where would you find the cabin in chess? I don't understand. What is the travelling? Where ever you travel to your car? I don't understand. I don't understand. You don't want to give me my fucking credit. Okay, good. Because everything is about to say something to you. No, I would say you're right. I'll give you that. You're right. But the only thing I would adjust would be the routine. Because I feel like I've gotten really good at prioritizing self-care. And sometimes I feel like I go OD on self-care. Sometimes a bulk of my day is self-care. And I want to take on more things actively. Because most times I know, okay, I need to do this thing. And because I mean control of my to-do is, I mean control of a lot of the things that I do. As someone who's self-employed, I tend to move things to the next day. A lot. Well, now let's bring in what Hugo said earlier in that episode about knowing who you are and then having things fit around it. Because you're not ones who likes game frazzled. So for me, at your core, you are someone who fears better when you feel good. This is true. So I can't imagine a Donald who is having to do more things with self-care and not being the priority. This is true. So I think for me, and maybe then the advice would be flipped and where it's like continue. Maybe the way you speak about it would then be different. Because maybe you are the self-care person whose priority is that and work is just an addition to your priority being your healthy and mental well-being. Does that make sense? You do like a self-care moment. You do, you love a whole, like, you love a self-care moment. You love an introspective moment. You love it thinking. You're a monk mode. All those things. Like, you're always, you're very self. What is the word for, like, self-growth, self-motivating? Like, you want to be the best version of yourself. And knowing from a work perspective, from a personal perspective. That's the one thing that you taught me when we first met. Like, you were very, Donald was very like, I started running because of you. I started even trying to eat better because of you. I started doing a lot of things because for me, I was just like, nothing else can happen. Like, life could go on. But I had zero idea. I had to take care of myself. And now to see a man doing the self-caring. And I'm looking at myself like, so you need to step it up. Yeah. Like, you need to actually actually feel it up. Because you're actually so good. Like, no. Like, after a good, like, 30-minute yoga session. I'm like, oh my god. No, I cannot relate to any of this. It's like, because sometimes when you're working, you can feel that, like, slight tension in your back. Right? And I feel like a lot of people will wait for it. But I say a lot of people wait for the tension to build up over multiple days. But it's like, like, a good yoga session. Yeah. Like, turn on your heater to, like, 80 degrees. Right? So it's like blowing into you. No, that was yoga. That's going to be a new thing. You keep trying to, like, make the thing. It'll never be fetched. Oh, you guys crazy. I was a group. I think 11. Six. Six. I think more people should try. I love taking care of myself. You did. Right? I think, like, I feel so good, like, working out, listening to a good musical. Yeah. And sometimes it's annoying because I feel like I do it alone. Mm-hmm. Right? You do. Sometimes I feel like I could exist in the world if there was nobody around. Mm-hmm. You know? And that's scary. Because I find it difficult bringing new people into, like, my life now. Because of all the different components and the things that, like, like, I would rather go to the gym alone in the nights than, like, go out to dinner with friends. That is true. That is true. I would prioritize that because unless it's, like, a special occasion. That's not a bad thing, though. It's not a boy. You want to do? I would say yes. Really? Yeah. You don't give that at all. You don't look like someone who wants to hang out with friends. Oh, no, no, no, no. I meant the other thing. Oh, that's the same. No, I meant the other thing. I meant, like, being in the gym. Like, I wouldn't love to have friends who would come into the gym. Who would go on the run? My immediate one was, like, why would I want to do that? Or, like, come to the dinner? No. Because, like, I don't know. It's just fun. Yeah. I wouldn't say running is fun. It's fun. It's fun for you. Yes. I love that for you. Let me see. I think, for me, one thing I'm learning for the both of you is, again, is this word of, when people talk about English, when I say the word selfish, it tends to have a bad connotation. But I promise you, I really need to be selfish. And I think for you to find growth in life, there's a level of selfishness you need to achieve those goals. And I tend to give too much to other people and not focus on me. So, and I do schedule in my life would be things that bring me back to myself. So, when I wake up in the morning, I actually want to journal and think with my brain first. I want to go to the gym and take care of my body first. I want to do my skincare. I actually want to do a routine. I know I have me thinking about how I can capture this for a TikTok or how I can capture this for friends. Or I can be on the FaceTime. Because then I'm on FaceTime with a friend who's telling me there are problems. And now there are problems on my problems. And it's not over 8 a.m. yet. Right. And then after that, I go into meetings. And it's what people need for me. And I don't think anyone ever asks me, how are you? Like, what do you need? How can I help? And I can support. Of course, I'm being very gentle. People have already asked me that. It's not as important to people because I'm the friend who's always okay. Right. I'm the friend who's always doing well. And because of that, I tend to not be selfish enough. So I think an ideal year for me next year would be thorough selfishness. I'm telling you guys. I'm like, I'm called Donald Donald real quick. So today, right. When we came downstairs and picked me up, Donald didn't have a jacket on. Which makes perfect sense. I have no other dragon Donald. I promise. He didn't have a jacket on. So he wasn't going to come all the way to the door outside. Yeah. To grab, like grab me or whatever. Because you don't have a jacket on. You're going to be cold. Right. I would go outside and be cold. Sit down on the stairs. Freeze my ass off. Because somebody's coming to give me something. Right. That's just what I would do. I would literally put myself in harm's way just because. And it doesn't occur to me to preserve myself first. Right. It doesn't matter to you. But I wasn't really because I was like, why did you come up to come to the door and you were like, oh, because I don't have a jacket on. And it made sense. I was like, duh. Like, he literally is in the sleepers. Why would he come outside in the freezing weather when I have a jacket on. But it didn't occur to me that you should make sure you were good first. Which on the flip side with that. One of the reasons why I stood there is because you've come to my house. Like, since you go back three times now. And we've always met at that place. And then I'll say we're going to wait. So that's kind of the way my brain works. It's like, oh, this is where we meet. So I'm just going, I'm going to make sure like, I'm there. So she sees me. She's interesting. Yeah. Okay. All right, guys, human beings for real. Okay. So what we're going to do now is we're going to some like life advice, sort of like worst advice at dream life thing. And we're going to see like what the statement, how true is it? How real do we? How can we relate to this? How can we not? Okay. I'll give an example. One of the first ones is follow your heart. The rest will work out. Is that good advice? Is that bad advice? For your heart, the rest will work out. I think it depends on what your heart is telling you to do. I don't think you should always follow your heart. So as someone who believes in the heart. I just feel like that. No, because I've been told that I don't give off a romantic vibe. Even though I keep proclaiming to the world that I'm the huge. I love love you. But for some reason, because I, you know, I don't practice love in the way I don't love blindly. I don't love stupidly because there's a difference. So that's insane. I think it's good advice. You know what? Like follow your heart. The rest will work out. Like if you feel like that's something you want to do, accept the consequences. Right. So like the idea of it working out would only disappoint you if you don't love yourself and like trust that. Okay. This is something you wanted to do. Because that experience matters. Well, heart though is about emotions. Yeah. Right. So for me, when I say, when I hear follow your heart, I think we tend to equate, and I love that we're all arguing with this. I think we tend to equate emotions with either good or bad. But bad is crazy. Yeah. Barrow heart. To fall. To fall. To fall. To fall. To fall. To fall. To fall. To fall. To fall. To fall. I mean, if it's logical, I understand the consequences of it. Right. So I approach that differently. With my heart, I will be hurt if the consequences aren't in my favor. Give an example. I'm very. I'm a very logical person, but I'm also very much a mechanic. So for me, my heart, my, I feel so big. I'm such a, like I feel everything so big. So I understand that when I feel things so big, I need a minute. Yeah. You know that I need a minute like I can tell you or I really want to do this now Two days ago. I'm like, oh, I don't actually don't care. I gave me so many times I was working on something that was so passionate, but I was like, actually, I don't think we should do that But at that moment, I was so sure we should do it So I think there's a level of logic that needs to come into place where your mind has to caution your heart a bit Because emotions are big for a reason. Yeah, so I'll be good Is it possible that you because I think your heart and your logic walk closely together? Yeah, so maybe follow your heart for you will lead to more positive consequences because my heart and my brain They think And and my other thing for most men I Think a lot of them are socialized to be that we I don't think it's like an inherent like mil thing But that they are socialized to make them more beneficial decision What like they're there to for themselves. Yeah, we had the ones that I couldn't Think about. Yeah, but my friendship break up that I had last year. What do you think following my hearts would have meant for me? I feel your heart to they've realized that that was not safe space I'm not not last year. My heart would have given it another year and a half. I think so in my I was about to see my brain My heart to be like this is not safe because the heart should want to be safe But that feels got you know, but that's logic. I'm saying like yeah, the heart is emotions like if I love you I would love you through it all right, my brain is telling you well They just the person you say you love just slapped you Yeah, but they they're stopping because they were hurting. Yeah, that's also my heart would tell me right versus my brain Would be like yeah, but someone actually cares about you. They would they wouldn't hurt you I mean, so like that's where the logic part comes in. Okay, another one is just be yourself If you I would say good advice if you know, well yourself. Yeah, yeah, I Don't think it should be yourself Really one. No, I think I think you should be yourself, but you can be yourself everywhere. It's not It's not safe to be yourself everywhere. It's not wise to be yourself everywhere And just because you're not being your full self or your being a version of yourself doesn't mean you're lying Doesn't mean you're not being yourself, but everyone you shouldn't be Your your self is a broad spectrum. So you're allowed to your you have agency you allowed to choose What version of yourself you want to be we should have done this earlier because she's dropping so many times So true, right? That's crazy. You listen. Yeah, no, but be yeah, be be yourself Yeah, no, you know what's crazy as you say that I think about A lot of times when I feel guilty because I present differently every time But I also realize now my heart is so cautious. That's how whenever I get hurt I get hurt a lot because they're very few people in this world who know me like know the ugly the annoying the frustrating Like even I feel like don't know knows me now Maybe 85% which is a lot still Because I think the only person who I think knows me and has my best friend and We've been since nine years old, right? But it's a part of me when I go outside that is a version of myself that I put out there that I know I have to be to protect me as a person from the attacks and everything else and I I like that For the most part. It's not an authentic true. It's simply like Because I think you with social you hear this be authentic be yourself did I you think you have to fully Presents every facet of you But we forget that human beings are multi-dimensional. Yeah, and we're also very multifaceted. So The version of yourself that I The version of myself that shows up at work is different version of myself that shows up with my friends Is it from a version of myself that shows up at events or In my own personal life, but as long as at the core you know who you are I think life is much better. Yeah from that. I like that. This is a law. I'm taking in guys because 2026 Sophie's about to be on some shit Okay, if it's meant for you, it would happen effortlessly No Can I tell you guys something? Elsa Majinbo more sense of things that stuck with me. She said bad people also win. Yeah, yeah more and think when I'm telling you I I despise the fact that I'm too nice. I hate it if there's something I hate about my son hate is a strong word Is the fact that I am too nice? You're about to tell you I'm really at the freaking door for it to stop Because I a lot of the things that I've hit me in my past is when I see someone who wasn't good to me or good at all When it fucks with my head a lot like um because I sit there and I'm like How can the universe reward you for being this way and what am I not in a certain way getting I'm not really rewarded for my niceness, but how am I Suffering because you stepped on me to get somewhere right and I see Even like family situations personal life romantic relationships where people who do you dirty win? And when I see a lot of young women especially like they're down bad They lose themselves is because of that thinking of how can I be so good? And somebody who was so bad to me is doing so well it fucks with you so much. So yes for that Yeah, you know you if it's meant for you will happen effortlessly Yes, but there's also a lot of strategy a lot of work that goes into play like I was a person would say I'm manifesting this is going to happen and I realized that There's a level of strategy That needs to happen to get the life you need or you want for yourself. Yeah, and I don't think I focused enough On that part like it feels sometimes in authentic for me to be like I know this is exactly what we'll get the amounts of views and clicks because I just want to be me But it's also a business There's a side of that too that I need to focus on interesting Me too Caught everyone off to grow Everyone yeah, I wouldn't see everyone. I don't know how to cut people off I don't know how to cut people off. I don't know I only cut people off after they whooped my ass like I think I own you know what's crazy and don't look and I tested this I only cut you off after you've embarrassed me What what is embarrassing me so like when other people have witnessed what you've done? Yes, why I've shared enough with them for me to now start looking stupid So it's less even about me. This is therapy free therapy for me guys. It's less about me Protecting myself and more about protecting an image for other people And I hate no, I should stop using the word hate, but it really is that like for a lot of times The reason why I caught the person who came for the marathon thing Was because everybody around me could be was looking like that's not a good friend to you So I felt stupid to say no that they actually are I promise they're just going through something I can't say that because There's no excuse for the actions they did um, but I was I was going to actually argue that I had to actually look around and be like okay I think if they come back around don't know my look at me and be like yeah girl if you don't get this person out of your fridge right now You need to Cut people off. Okay. What do you believe right? I think like you can grow on your own I think people would Fissel out boundaries yeah, I like Won't about me is like I'm very it's shocking to me because he's no because Every like anybody who is not in my life. It's not because I caught them off It's because like no, it's a different language for the same thing Because I know No, no, no, because it's like People always show who they are right? Yes, for example, how how how does someone exit your life they stop communicating? Right So for someone like me, I'm the one who's always rich now Right, so meaning they're like if someone is not good for me and I'm trying to grow out of it All I need to do stop reaching out stop pretending to have it But I'm not because to me they're still in my life, but I'm I'm deciding to Not put more energy into that demoting them. Yeah. Yeah, and you just like Watch them do their thing. Yeah, I feel that. I would drive me crazy. I was we also not paying attention to it Drag you crazy to be on the receiving end Okay, yeah, it's to be the one doing it. Oh, it takes a lot more effort for me to try to ignore you then for me to actually communicate. Oh Out of sight it's out of mind. I'm telling you out of sight who's inside my mind Tell me you're not even like ignoring you just notice that they're not I'm I think about it like I'm I don't know Like he's holding text you for like a week and you're talking to them. Yeah. Yeah, you'll notice it. Yeah. Yeah, you notice it for sure The the way it works for me. I think the reason why maybe for me it It seems like he comes across easy. I thought person myself That's that's that's how it works for me. So like with the Situation last year even though I like like my mind knew all the different reasons why the person would Choose to like act the way they were acting and I understood all of that, but I always say like if like I wouldn't if if I wasn't me I wouldn't let someone treat me like that and you know, I like ego a lot so even when I don't like ego I'm I'm on her side. So I will cut off and anybody's on jumping block, you know, parents anybody Is on the jumping block 2026 Sophie's ready But everyone else. Okay. Yeah, I sorry I also think it is if you believe in karma, which I'm not even sure I fully believe, but to borrow the language of karma I think it is Egotistical to try to save people from like the consequences of their action So like trying to like consider all the different reasons why people act in the way they are you are stopping them from growing I want to give people the opportunity to grow and I do not believe I need to be present to witness the growth. I thought it can happen I may I don't even want to hear about it. Let's see happen. Let's just not happen It's done. I don't I don't have a lot of self preservation that is in that sentence that I want to have and I don't I don't I care too much. I'm willing to learn 2026 Guys, I'm ready. Fuck everybody. Okay, your 20s and 30s are for figuring it out. Don't rush I think the lifetime is Like one thing I like to tell people who that's why I don't like self-help books. I don't like so Maybe this is not the best thing to say But Nobody has lived this life Nobody No one has lived this life. So when I hear life coaches self-help all the stuff when I see people so In grainy in that life for me is a level of you're trying to escape your reality that comes into play Because a lot of people get stuck Focusing on what they think they should be doing by comparing themselves to those people rather than like Their own version of the reality, right? So for me I Know what we I need to do to be successful No amount of male robins is let them theory Would change the fact that I know what I was supposed to do atomic habits all these things No, no, sir. I tell me if I've never stopped catching strings What it was Figuring it out. I think it's a beauty in looking at what other people have done To figure it out for themselves and language. I also like give you language It helps you be able to conceptualize it. That's why I think philosophy and therapy works, right? Therapist versus a therapist versus a life coach a life coach telling you this is what you should do with your life to get here They don't know because they don't live your life a therapist is telling you oh you feel this way It might be as a result of xy and z that has been studied that This options like that for me is where My 20s and 30s. I'm trying to do I'm trying to figure that out and 40s and 50s because they've been 50 years before So somebody out there who's 50 years old who can tell me oh when I was 50 Something xy happens to me and I feel better when I was in my 30s and my 20s This one this happened and that's why I feel this way. I think that is different than People just rushing to feel like oh, we know exactly what would happen Yeah, that's the first reason to about life is because like We're all racing to the end and some people are Doing it in five x speed Yeah, also my doing it in 0.5 or maybe even perceived five x speed because of the things the tools they have to go Yeah, but it's also like what is the point To live live man. No, yes to live. What is the point of constantly like questioning? Is what I mean right like what's point of questioning everything like I get so excited when I wake up in the morning I wake up in the morning. I'm like mad excited. I go to bed. I'm excited Like there's more points in my day with like I wake up and I'm like oh my god There's my life. That's nice. I don't do that admirable. Yeah, like always my life going to no doing things that I'm just tired Right, but it's like no, I'm not I love that If there is okay moving up for going to about to close out if there is anything To say to folks we're listening about how to make their next year better What are some tips and tricks that we can go back and forth for a while Maybe we can do like Six so to each to each for twenty six. Yeah of things. I you think they should incorporate into their lives To make them a bit more selfish in this new year Number one the title the gold for next year is to be selfish Figure something around us to selfish. It's something around selfishness. It's title. Yeah I like that. We'll figure it out. Are you ready? Yeah, yes You Okay, so I am Recently October 2nd. I'm recently 29 years old and if I was to give you one advice For you to do in 2026 would be every single thing that you think about wanting to do do it immediately Don't try to understand how it should be done Why don't overview research just do it Mm-hmm do it a friend. Yeah Are you recording? Yeah, no Just do it um, I think for me is Moving my body every day in 30 minutes to an hour every day dedicated bodyly movement That could be 30-minute yoga session 30-minute stress session Nothing should hold me from spending 30 minutes of my day Moving my body and sort of like figuring out what what feels good what doesn't feel good and just holding it on myself. Yeah Uh Something that I think I have mastered is If you don't know how to do issues learn to enjoy your own company I it's I don't I don't know how to describe the feeling when someone says it is it's it's Confounding to me when someone when I'm I'm just talking about like my day or my week or something So it's like oh my god. That was so interesting. That was so and I'm like you can do these things like it's not It's not insane like you can get up and just go and live your life. You don't have to Schedule it around friend. It's great. I know how it feels to like have friends To go do things with but you your life cannot be imposed Otherwise you'll keep pretending to be an interesting person where you could actually be an interesting person and not be scared to open your mouth In public because you you know, you've you've you've done something You know Yeah, this is true. Yeah, yeah, if you live on it if you live an interesting life not a glamorous life Where if you live an interesting life. Yeah, with your own like small hobbies. It's why like you can I like I've talked to people who are knitters Yeah, who are very engaging in conversation because Yeah, I believe they have a thing That's why we get along Because we always have stuff to share All right, you got to do the second one and we'll just come back come back around He's that's it with me. That's one of you That's your surrounds that's a little unfair, but it this one is something that I'm going to be doing and it is Trying to act more than you think Yeah, for the overthinkers in the room. Yes. Yeah, because I think I think a lot I even when I'm not thinking my thoughts have thoughts Unfortunately, so yeah, I'll try to read next shot in the gap between when the thought comes and when actually yeah take action You know the vibes already in my turn of course. I think this one is very prominent without generation right now Um be careful about not becoming a chameleon Mm-hmm. Yeah, I think because it's easy to Have thoughts and think they are your thoughts, but they know your thoughts because of things you're consuming Yeah, so like I think introspection is really big spend a lot more time with yourself and like Put to paper the things that you actually want for yourself and the things you want to do that we you can easily And when you see something that you like ask yourself like have those like green lights phrases of like oh is this something I like something I want to do before you do it Um, so you don't end up like doing it and Realizing that it wasn't for you I love that Um, I think my last one which we're going to round up the episode with is be selfish um, I think my goal for next year and just Moving on in life is to understand that my I should always Put myself first because I can never pour from an empty cup And if you give so much to other people and you have nothing left for yourself And how do you show up for yourself if you can't um, and I can see that now when I feel like so burnt out and so exhausted So tired. It's because it's actually nothing left for Sophie to keep like Sophia's Literally figuratively everything giving it all away For other people's well-being and I think is a lot is a part of me now that is really really excited To see That energy switched around for me. So what would my life look like if I simply poured into just myself? Yeah, I think that's what I really wanted to sort of close out the year with having ego on the podcast and also Donald here Because you're too yeah for you're too of the most Intentional people about your well-being that I know like close to you why why And I'll speak I'll try to speak for both of us before myself. I think We come from a family that's like we really are like all we have and we've had to learn They're like as big as the world is There's only like us You know, I don't know if that makes sense like When I think about like this world and the amount of people that have like you coming into my life like is a big like Edition that's why I could care about you a lot like I treat you as family And like I think growing up like we have a lot of extended family All of people that we we've encountered right, but it's like I can count on her like I Know that she has my back Do you know what I mean and this it's not like it's not like itself is with like knowing that like Oh no like I have this it makes the world. I don't need to search for something that's like I already have Do you know what I mean? It's like so it's like organically when I met you like our relationship, you know, that's what I could relate because like I saw all the things they're like Like also if you want family and most times I didn't get it because I was too growing it right but like it took time and like oh like My arm is like open like this is because we have that like within the family and it's very small Yeah, you know it's interesting. I think we can unpack this so much in another episode but someone said to me recently that I because I became really close with a family over the summer and over the past couple of months and They said oh like you know, you look like you're just roaming around searching for family and for context if you don't know Um my mom is a single mom and then my brother and I like we are just two my brother is 10 years older than me and he and my mom are really really close And my dad was nowhere to be found like all I knew is like he left and he came to visit one time Maybe when I was four and then he came back and he had like eight kids from other people So he had a whole family that he was apparently the most present father for the my mom had my brother and she was the most present mom for I'm also saying she was a present for me But there's a certain level of survival that I had to Have where I was constantly seeking that if I only did this well I'll get some of that love if I only behave this way So I've spent so much of my younger life trying to Be noticed in a way of hey, maybe if I work really really hard. I'm deserving of love Which is deep now that I think about it. That says a lot about me. Okay. Well, 2026. It's my year Um, but I think I enjoy that because like I can also see how dependent you guys are on each other But also you have each other's backs and you also let each other grow I was actually going to say like I agree, but I think It's I think it's the opposite. I think the reason why we're so close is because I know I know from the bottom of my heart That if I'm no longer if I'm not here, he's fine Yeah, he's fine. I think it's the reason it's the reason why I like you that's also why I feel like yeah You got to take out to his the same way. Yeah, I know she'll be all right. Yeah, yeah It's the reason why I like you like every single friend that I like is because I know like I because When when you're in the presence of someone who just enjoys your presence It takes all the pressure off off of you It takes all the pressure off of you You can actually just like enjoy the presence everything else is additional That was to attend our bail hooks on Sunday. Yeah, and she says if She's one of like the biggest pioneers of love but in her book all about love If like you can't you can't be a fully like functioning participating member of the community that you say you love If you do not give that love to you to your so if if the community cannot exist outside of you Then it's not love. It's some weird Parasitic sometimes symbiotic sometimes relationship that is you know But if you want to be loved then yeah, cuz my siblings are the most like unconditional relationships then and I asked whether or not that I can't receive unconditional love that's between me my therapist and But but but I love them unconditionally and it I want I know for a fact that like Them existing outside of me is what makes that possible. Otherwise my natural inclination is to run I do not stick around for Because you know, I know what I feel I know what like a person latching on feels like yeah, I know it very very well So I don't stick around for that. I like you the first person who taught me that or like How to like accept people and just like see them and I think you said something about like you don't You said the early in the episode like you don't know who you are for you You don't know if you ever showing you were describing the yoga thing with the yeah And I think for me the relationship that we built that I've also like moved into like other relationships too is like I actually don't Care what version of you. Yeah, I see you and I see Whatever version. It's it's you know, and I think that's kind of like how so like I think that's what I mean like by the open arms. I think with you too, right? It's like I understand the selfish thing that you've been talking about doing in 2026 But one thing I want to say to you is that like I hope you know that like I see Right, and I give you that care about you actually see No for real though because Because I think family is important and I joke about this with nah because that's always like she's always telling me that Oh, like you care about people so much. You always like helping from like I'm like, I understand why you don't get it, right? Because like maybe it might be like the immigrant side of things But it's like you're like you're able to Exist for people and you you just like see them Not because like you have expectations not because you know exactly what they're going to do or you know exactly how to help them Because that also that is a learning curve, right? But just knowing that like Or this person like I see you. I'm here for you We can figure it out. Whatever that looks like um and but it's it's also complicated, right? It's complicated because like People are growing people are learning new things and like I feel like those are the best relationships, right? Because it's like you get because there's some people who probably see their siblings and be like Oh, I believe in God. You don't believe in God. Now you're the devil. You know, I'm no longer there You know, but it's like it because people should be allowed to change People should be allowed to like navigate to whatever they want to like you tell saying oh, you're going to be selfish There's no part in my brain that is like Why is the person saying they're going to be selfish? Yeah, you know what I mean like that's the journey. They're like You want to go on and it's like you have to want to be a part of like people's journeys like regardless of like what they're doing well I hope you know that though. I appreciate it. That's it. Yeah. No, I appreciate it. I think for me I think one take where I want you guys to take it take out of this episode is As you you can't Become someone new without shedding a version of yourself from the past or learning from that version of yourself and I hope you took some lessons from this episode and from this conversation. I know it might I felt like you were I don't know maybe I'm just in my head and I felt like you were literally watching an episode of people catching up But we actually have never we've not done this. I know they talk individually But like I've always yeah, I've always like I've always known what conversations with you would be like and it makes sense You know what I mean? So I'm excited that we got to have this conversation especially right before the new year Of course Guys your dream life isn't going to build in a year. I know that it's like micro decisions. You'd make identity shifts Discipline that I think no one else has to see and I hope this conversation sort of like reminds you that you can reinvent yourself But it requires a level of honesty clarity and courage that a lot of us might be sort of like missing So I'm gonna do a fun game before we actually end for you um If you want to prevent revenge yourself right now, right? What is something about you that you want to change that people watching would have not guessed Don't start with me Oh, don't start with you. Yeah, don't start with me. What did I change about myself? I thought I would have a reinvent reinvent I think I would Oh, like does this include like going back in time. It's like a temporal change. No, no, it's like moving forward moving forward down No, because I don't want to say nothing because I would mean that like I'm fine But there are many things that I would I just I can't pick one thing about myself that I would change I would want a bigger ass. I guess Really She ego wants to reinvent to be grasped. Okay, don't know what about you I would I would want to be a better dancer Good one. That's a good one. Yeah. Yeah, that's that's like I want to know how to like move my body. No, I can't move. Okay I Coordination is zero Um, I would say Okay, I feel like we're going into like artsy fun part Um, I would say I would want to grow my hair back Ah Speed you through guys girls and gays that is the end episode of I might too loud the podcast and so if we aka the mother freaking auditing If you made it as far you're officially a part of the pot fam Thank you ego. Thank you Donald for hanging out with me This is not going to be the last episode the last episode is going to be the one me and Donald's shot What we talked about just catching up on my trip catching up on life and so much more I'm actually going to film me by guys for that video But we should include in this one But if you guys don't watch that video which you should subscribe like do all the things follow ego check out all our information in the description box and I would be going on my freaking Shots out retreat that I am so excited for I love that guys the clip ended up cutting off so the angles of change because we had to charge the camera But what I was saying was thank you so much for watching. We'll see you guys in 2026 I hope you got some lessons out of this episode Don't forget again to follow ego follow Donald as always and we'll see you guys in the next podcast episode Love you. See you next Wednesday. Bye Very good. Oh lord That was fun You have fun