NIGERIA is not a REAL PLACE - Ep 39

Welcome to a My Too Loud The Podcast. Hey guys, welcome back to a My Too Loud The Podcast with Sophie, aka the mother freaking Audity, if you're near, hi, the girl is Sophie. I am currently in Lagos, Nigeria, and you guys know what My Too Loud is on the freaking road. So your girl is on the road still bringing you content back to back. Hope you've enjoyed our last episode, the thing I had done all on the episode, I had just seen it in the end of the last episode, I had a tie on the last episode, I feel like, I am not, if any friend comes on after what I'm about to say, I apologize, okay, but I feel like I've had the friends that I wanted to introduce to you guys that I can think of on the spot right now, I have had them on the podcast, okay, don't owe me to that, guess I'm light, I'm sorry. But guys, I am in Lagos, Nigeria, and I am just, I feel like every time I say Lagos, I feel like such an IJGB, if you don't want IJGB means, it means I just got back and that is usually the term for people who are living in the diaspora. So if you live in the UK, if you live in the US, and you're currently sort of visiting home, you say you're an IJGB, but people call you an IJGB. I fucking my IJGB when I say that, but technically, I don't think I fit the IJGB mold because I didn't, I wasn't born in America, okay, I was born in Lagos, Nigeria, I was actually born in Ketchah at, I forgot the name of the hospital, I'm in K house, I'm in K house hospital, yes, I remember guys, I don't know where to start from, I'm feeling very exhausted and I've only been in Lagos for about a week and a half a time, you guys have listened to this episode, so it's not been that long anyways, but Lagos has been showing me a much needed sort of like debrief, oh my god, I didn't start with like a non-popular opinion or like my loud opinion for this episode, okay, my loud opinion for this episode is the Classism is the biggest problem Nigeria has to date, maybe corruption can also be a part of it and other things, but I feel like Classism is one of our biggest or is what Nigeria struggles with the most at this moment, that is my loudest opinion of the day, argue with your ancestors if you don't think that it's true or not, because I think it's true, okay, so that's my loud opinion, let's get out of the way, I have notes because I always feel like every time I do solo episodes, I just yap and I forget to actually like, you know, talk some more and say anything, so guys, I need to breathe, first of all, let's do breathing together because it took me a lot to set up this episode and I'm actually even being dramatic because it did not take me a lot, shout out to the social atelier in Lagos, that's where we're recording the podcast from, they've been so sweet, this like space is like elite and honestly, honestly, I feel a little bit interesting because I'm not sitting on a red couch and you guys know that I'm always wearing a red couch and I don't have any green on, except for this like blanket that I think they got for me because I asked them for something green and I appreciate it because there's also green magazine here and my magazine's green, so I'm excited for that too, what's up to the social atelier for having my to loud the podcast here as their as my official podcast area while I'm in Lagos, so even if I have a guest on while I'm in Lagos, this is where we're going to be, okay, I have yapped, I've always wanted the podcast to like be like very cozy in this way, so forgive me if I just keep yapping for this entire episode, but I have a few things I want to talk about, because first of all, why did I come to Lagos? I came to Lagos because I was invited by Spotify for like an AfroB's culture immersion program, guys, why did somebody ask me to do a three-some with them during that program? Can we actually start, wait, wait, wait, wait, so yeah, don't be the good, let me get, oh, guess that C first, let's start with the basic, so Spotify invited about 20 plus creators from 12 different countries, I think Brazil, Nigeria, Ghana, Kenya, South Africa, France, Germany, like so many countries, Colombia, when my friends from Colombia shout out to Lamar, but there was just a lot of creators and we essentially just spent a week in Lagos, like relaxing, but also getting, what am I talking about? We did not relax at any point, this was sometimes my mouth moves faster than my brain, we ended up, we didn't relax at all, like we landed, we said a Nordic hotel in Lagos, so if you're ever trying to visit Lagos, Nigeria, I feel like Nordic is the perfect hotel to stay at, that gives you, it's still very much Western, but it's not Western like American Western, it's like Scandinavian, like Swiss, like it's very Nordic, the name is Nordic, for a reason, it's very Nordic type 5, but we said in Nordic hotel, and it was like bus, panel, another panel, lecture, museum, bus, greasy tunes, greasy tunes, the cafe that he had with the party in Lagos, another thing, and another thing, that's exactly how the trip went, it was so much fun, so the first day, they took us to Falat, Aniquelapocuti's museum, the Calacota museum in Lagos in the mainland, which was really cool, the second day, and then after that, I think we had a panel, the second day, we had dinner, and then we had another panel, this round was like talking about Afrobeats culture, because a lot of people are talking about Afrobeats as if, it's this thing that we need to safeguard and talk about, we're going to get to that in a second, we did that, and we did another panel about Afrobeats again, and then we had like a fashion show, about Afrobeats, and then we had something else about Afrobeats, it was basically done very much, and Afrobeats experience, because it's fortified, that's what they're trying to do, well let me tell you guys my takeaways from the entire trip, one, Afrobeats is on the same level as hip hop and R&B and pop in this moment, I think because the genre in itself was given the name during our lifetime, I think we're all struggling a bit to define what it is, what it looks like, and especially because I feel like when you say Afrobeats, the beats makes it feel like it can be pop, it can be soul, it can be fusion, because beats, you make beats make you think of rhythm and beats, you get kind of thing, so there's been a lot of conversation about whether Afrobeats should be called like Afrofusion, Afropop, Afro this, but I like Afrobeats, I feel like Afrobeats can just be used to describe a fusion or blend of sound and music coming out from the Nigerian audience, the Nigerian sort of sound, and they can have so many other things like encompass that, so like Rema was calmed down as an Afrobeat song, but Rema's fun and Kili Bude are all Afrobeats, Afro Rave, Afro, all of this stuff, they're all still under Afrobeats, am I making sense here? I don't know, I've been rushing and talking, breathe, Sophie, breathe, we have a long way to go in this episode, okay, so that trip also meant a lot to me because it just felt like it was, first of all, a lot of people have been asking me why it took me so long to come back to Nigeria, and guys it wasn't a matter of it taking me so long to come back to Nigeria, it was just, I don't want to get cancelled for this, but I might too a lot if I tell you that Nigeria is just not relaxing, like Nigeria doesn't feel like fun, Nigeria doesn't feel like it's home for me, but I might too a lot if I say that Nigeria is, it's not as nice as most countries in the African continents, I'm not that don't stop, let me explain, let me explain, let me explain, okay, I think I put my shades on like that so you can't drag me but my hair on my eyes, okay, let me explain, let me explain, let me explain what I mean okay, so I've not been to a lot of African countries, I'll give you that, I've been to Togo, Kutonu, Ghana, I don't know if that's it, so I don't feel like it's a lot, so maybe I'm not the best person to speak on this matter, however, what I would like to say is the biggest issue Nigeria has is there's a lot of talents that is not fostered by the government, and so because of that lot of talents, you have really, really cool shit going on in this country, but it's not maintained probably, it's people are frustrated out of their success, people are angry, the government is shitty, and it just makes the environment feel charged, like Nigeria feels like a charged space, that's exactly the way to explain it, so let me tell you how this works, I've flown back in back home, I don't want to say I'm not lucky, but I am not as lucky to have a family home in Nigeria to get like come back home to, meaning my mom and my brother and I, like we do have a house where it's deep, deep, deep, and it's not convenient location, so first of all that means I need to find an Airbnb, in Nigeria to get an Airbnb was going to cost me $5,000, $5,000 American dollars, am I going to stay in the White House? And I swear to you, yes, it was going to be for like three to four weeks, maybe I can argue that makes sense, but in what world should it cost me $5,000 American dollars, stay in an Airbnb in Lagos fucking Nigeria? How? How does that make any sense at all? So first of all, I'm dealing with that, let me start from there, let me start from something as simple as the airport when you come in, right? Okay, so you land on the airport, this is how this is how for anyone who's interested in going to Nigeria, this is how it works, land on the airport. If you are coming by yourself and you don't know anyone, it's already a shit show for you because you go in, immigration is stressing you out, people are already dragging you left and right, asking for the most mundane things, asking you for bribes, for money, all that stuff. Now because of, this is the issue, now I'm getting round up, now I'm getting upset because in a normal functioning fucking country, guys, if you're not listening to this, if you're listening to saying you're not in Nigeria and then you might think this is a weird rant to have, but honestly, this is going to be a very Nigerian episode because I'm in Nigeria right now and I'm in Nigeria and I want to rant about this moving on, okay? In a country that is functioning, if you see a problem, oh, when people land in this country, immigration, the corruption there, people, it's just not as smooth as this should be, a smooth process. Do you know what makes sense to fix the fucking problem? Let's put more tables there, let's hire more immigration officers, let's teach them, let's find them if they're going to charge people, let's do things in place to make sure people have a smooth entry into your fucking country. Do you know what my country did? Do you want to know what's my beautiful country did? They built businesses, they said you know what? We're going to have people who you can hire and pay to take you from the plane through immigration to get your luggage and leave. Classism, our biggest issue is classism because now if you can afford to pay 80 to 150,000 hour or more, you get picked up from right, but you have people who you know how like in America, when you like you land, you have people with your names, you have to write before immigration, they take you through immigration, immigration like looks at you, oh, hi, he has to be poor, okay, I don't know, don't do anything, go leave immigration and don't let me probably check your passport. Honestly, I don't think they even do that. And then you leave immigration and they take you there and then you have your logages that they pick up your luggage for you, they deliver you straight to your car. It's a service you pay for that you don't need to pay for, you shouldn't have to pay for because all it's doing is fueling more corruption within the system. And I see this as someone who enjoys that corruption, okay, I am saying that somebody who was so grateful, so grateful, that's what if I hired a two white people to come pick me up from the Nigerian Airport? Because every time I talk about a car Ghana, I talk about it from the lens of when you're landing Ghana, first of all, the AC is working, the AC in the Air Force is working, it's a shiny new airport, the AC is working, you don't see anybody, you don't see any airport official until you go down the escalators and you see immigration, the immigration line is there, clean, tidy, very open, very spacious, and I understand that Ghana might not get the same amount of travelers in a day, like the Nigerian gets, but that's what investments come into play. You go through immigration, the very two times I've been to Ghana where they asked me for some pride or something at the immigration, all I said was, oh, no, I don't have anything. Oh, she even, I could tell she was ashamed of herself. I was the same one twice. I could tell she was more of like a, oh, no, it's fine. Thank you for, thank you so much for not even giving me one day, I'm going to go versus in Nigeria where the gimme gale upset at you, how dare you, how the friend who's coming from Colombia, who, which is sad because he was just like, whoa, that was a crazy airport and he was like, oh, they kept asking me for dinero, dinero. My Nigerian people realized they're supposed to could not speak English, so they decided, you know what, let's actually find their language. They said, you know what, Colombia where you must speak Spanish or Portuguese, dinero, you don't understand, dinero give us dinero. How is that the first welcome into a country that you think people should have and you should be proud of? It makes no sense to me. So, we have so many things to talk about. So that happens, right? You get through the airport, you have a van or something that picks you up. Thankfully, the, so get past all that stuff, you have people dragging your suitcase, oh, man, I'm coming, everybody coming. It's such a chaotic experience and it's the perfect explanation for what the country is because at every step, anything that is supposed to go right doesn't really go right. And instead of fixing things at the core roots or at the issue at hand, folks tend to put bandages over it. And if I want to draw a parallel to that, I will think about it from the American standpoint. There are a lot of things wrong in America right now and top of it is the government. And like, people always say, like, how did Trump get to where he is? It was because for a long time, when Americans had issues, there were people put bandages over it. Like, oh, it'll be okay. Let's fix it by plugging it here. Let's silence this people. Let's quiet them down. They don't need to understand. They don't need to talk. At some point, people would get angry. And unfortunately, slash fortunately for us, Nigerians are not self-sacrificial people. Meaning, I don't think Nigerians are at the point, especially this generation, whether it will sacrifice their prestige, their comfort, their money for a better government, for a better people, for a better future. Instead, I think they're going to just try to find ways to make do with what they have. We see our siblings in Burkina Faso and Kenya when things happen, when police brutality or struggles, the sort of anger that comes out of those situations, fuel reform, fuel change. But then you see countries like Nigeria where a young journalist is murdered. And there is no change. There's some outrage. There's an outrage on Twitter. A few news pages cover it up. But then you know what people are fighting about instead? Usual art on Twitter, deciding to name her exhibition, Oh, I'm being telling you all to just come and enjoy her, her exhibition of art, even though she doesn't want to do whatever you guys want from her. Do you understand why our priorities aren't straight? So I think it was interesting because we went to a beach house as well during Spotify's thing and someone made a comment about how she'd heard, she was South African and she made a comment about how in South Africa, a lot of her friends in South Africa said, Oh, Nigeria is so nasty. Nigeria is so messy. Like, just be careful of Nigeria. Just be this and just be that. And then she was like, Oh, like Nigeria is not so bad now. Like she's been having a good time. And I remember looking at her and being like, yeah, because you're in a convoy. You're in a fancy hotel with everything paid for. Services in Macielite because it's Spotify. When you travel, we're all going together, meaning there's a combat police escort for vans and another police escort at the end. You have three or four people who are CIA officials, like people who are playing close policemen who make sure we are safe at every turn. You get to an event, you enjoy the event, you go back to the hotel, rinse and repeat. You go to a fancy beach house, rinse and repeat. At no point, besides like having the panels and like bring inviting in local folks, at no point did we actually engage with Nigeria, especially in the Spotify context in a way that would have made people see underneath the bandage of what Spotify was really trying hard to hide. And I love Lagos. I think the only reason I can love living in New York so much is because I was born in Lagos and I love Lagos so much. But every time I come here, it reminds me or it disappoints me with how much more we have to go, even though we are still growing. So I see folks doing paddle classes. I see folks, you know, there are so many things that are being built, but there are also so many things that are being destroyed at the same time and nothing is being maintained. So when I see stuff like the studio at the social atelier, I love them so much. I'm like, I wonder if I came here in three years if there will be holes in the couch, if the rug will be dirty, if the AC wouldn't work, if the you know, the sound system would be stained. And I'm not saying it would be, but that is sort of how Lagos shows itself to me. And I also recognize the privilege I have in speaking this way about a country I do not live in. And I think I was the whole point of me wanting to spend more time in Nigeria, Nigeria, because I wanted to see for myself if what I was feeling was true. And I have a lot of friends who are relocating from the diaspora back to the continent. I think with everything going on in America, just around the world, a lot of people are looking for an escape. And I'm not saying they shouldn't come here, but I'm realizing that even when they do come here, they're again putting bandages over issues. And no one is actually tackling the issues at the root, the corruption, the frustrations, the anger. I got those we're trying to get I'm trying to get an Airbnb in December because I'm going to be back for December in Nigeria. And I'm trying to reach out to several Airbnb's and they all say the same thing, oh, we're not going to be able to book right now, because we're just going to cancel it because we want to raise the prices. What? And I don't I don't know if I understand the greed, the greed of that statement. So even though I am early to book for my trip in December, it is currently October, October November December is literally three months. I can't book yet because you want to see what the market value would look like because of the crowd coming in December. So you're going to wait and not reward me for being early, like most places would around the world. But instead, let me go through this, suffer through this, whatever the case may be, just because of what you would want. How is that not insane? How is that not terrifying? But so I think it's been a culture shock in that way. I might another friend who was Ghanaian this time, who was on the trip with me, who said, oh, is this like yours? Because we're in a really fancy area. It's like, oh, is this your fancy area? And they go, so I'm like, this is one of the fancy places. Yes. And she goes, what the roads are in good. The place is not clean. It's not private. And I said, yeah, like most people would focus mostly, maybe inside the house, like you can have the serious roads flooded roads, all that stuff going into our living room. It's like grandeur and it's perfect and it's amazing. Because that is essentially the story of Nigeria, right? You can have the road leading up to a mansion, be tattered, be filled with potholes, like the fancy jeeps and cars can't even drive through without getting destroyed. But as long as your home is well maintained, your gate is well maintained and everything from that gate into the house is well maintained to some degree. You don't care about the rest, but you should care about the rest. That's the whole point. I don't want to dog pile on Lagos because I feel like anyone, I feel like we have, am I still able to kind of podcast that is global? Thank God. To where I feel like we have listeners from Nigeria, from America, from Australia, Canada, everywhere else. And so I don't want to dog pile and say, like, you know, Lagos is a shitty place and because it's not. I think it's, it's more so to, for me, it's been an introspection. This is really personal story for me to understand where I come from and what changed that I would like to see and how I can be part of that change because honestly, I was planning on running away. I'm not going to lie to you guys. And you see that a lot with my generation. I'm 28 and I think folks were pretty much like 24 and above and even more now. Everyone is jackbying, right? That's the word jackbar JAPA, which means to escape in essentially in like youth lingo. You're a really smart, really brilliant Nigerian who Nigerian might have happened to. That may mean like you didn't get a job. You're sexually harassed at work. You're bullied. You just have tries to get work and you've not been able to. Your company was destroyed. Your life was destroyed. You owe money. All these things that happen here in the country or in the state, especially Lagos too. All those things make you go applied for visas to live in places like the UK, Canada, Germany, Chechnya, Australia, anywhere that is not your motherland. And I think it's sad. I think a lot of Africans sort of like left the problem for Africans and just try to run away. And we leave to find a different set of problems. But sometimes those problems are manageable because the cost of living is manageable too. I think that's why America still calls to me because at least I know I have a sense of self in America. I feel like I can live more there. And I just hope things change. I don't know how I hope I can figure out ways for things to get better because the goal and the dream is to be able to come back and forth right access. Ty I know is a global trim travel creator who I had a conversation with last week in the last episode. And he spoke a lot about how he had to buy his freedom. But I think that's the point for a lot of people, for a lot of humans. It's sad that the world has become what it is in terms of travel. You can't go to places like Palestine. You can't go to places like Afghanistan. You can't go to places like Dubai if you're you know, queer. Like there's a lot of restrictions now with homogeneity that's happening in the world. And I think the beauty of the world is experiences. People are so scared to meet other types of people. But then you see Africans just living around the world not because of choice or because of necessity. And I feel like I'm one of those Africans who has had to leave home to you know figure that I want. I think it makes me sad in some way. This trip has been a journey of rediscover you of culture of identity. It's been really, really fun since I've been here. I got to go on radio shows. I got to meet different creators out here. I got to see Lagos and just Nigeria from a whole different light. And I will say that it is a bit selfish of me to speak on Nigeria from the lens of Lagos. I have visited Abuja. I might be visiting some other states in Nigeria. But I think we've been visiting other states in Nigeria is in itself a conversation to be had because of safety. I remember when I said in my mom, oh, I think I might go through all your friends wedding and she's like, hey, no, please, like let me get back. We can go together or I'm going to get you security because it's it's different. It's not easy to do any other stuff. I can't imagine wanting to go to, well, and as I also said, I can't imagine wanting to go to, you know, a state in America and I'll be able to go to it. But I think about it now. I'm like, well, you know, as a black person, if I want to go to Alabama, now with the era of Trump or national Tennessee, I'm going to be a bit cautious. But again, I'm cautious more about the racism and just how people would look at you. Very, really, would it be about being kidnapped or killed, which is some people's reality here in the country. So we're asking the Lord to travel to different states and show the beauty of the world. I think one of the creators doing that right now is someone called Shanks Comics. If you're into or just didn't see more of Nigeria, I think he's launching something very similar to Kaisenath's mafia thon where he's going to be streaming across Nigeria. I think for 30 days, forgive me if I am wrong, but I think he's launching that by the time this episode goes live, I wonder if he has started or if he just is about to go into it. But yeah, guys, it's been a journey of rediscovery, of culture, of tradition. And also because I'm here by myself, it's been interesting. But yeah, so Airbnb situation pissed me the fuck off because $5,000 is insane, but I got a better deal, which is fine. So I'm safe now and also like going around, do you need a car driving in Lagos in an extreme sport? So you need a driver and you need a car and that will cost you anywhere between $50,000 to $150,000 per day, talking about eating food. How do you get food? Where are you going to get food from? What places? Guys, I am not complaining. I just want to let you know that I just I I am not necessarily I'm a I'm in a constant state of unrest and a constant state of unease when I am in Lagos. And it's not necessarily because I am not happy. I'm having I'm not having a good time. It is because I see through the chaos and I see the potential and the fact that I can see that and I feel helpless is I think what adds to the chaos adds to me feeling exhausted adds to me feeling disappointed because I know this potential there. I just don't know how to sort of like help essentially. All right, guys. I feel like that is the end of that. Oh, wait, the threesome. Oh my god. So let's just say being older is such an interesting experience for me because at some like life has just been let me let me try to connect the dots here because I want to tell you about the threesome by wanting to make sense because guys. Okay. How do I explain this properly to make sense? So I am a single woman traveling the world, right? I mean, my single is not relationship single. What's single one in terms of the money I make is my money that I make because of you guys which I'm so grateful for. The life I live is because of me. I don't think I have ever been comfortable enough to receive any gifts or monetary things from men. Nigeria is a highly highly patriarchal society. No, the threesome aside, we're going to get to that. But I want to share something I also noticed about Nigeria that is interesting to me. I don't need a man. I don't need a man. I have never needed a man. I grew up with a strong as a fuck single mother who I told you guys the story before. Who when I was younger, I would watch in high school in Nigerian secondary school. I will be it'll be visiting day, which is when if you're in boarding school your parents will come visit here. And my my mom will come, but everybody else's dads and their parents will come and everybody went for the dad's right around. Nobody was happy. I go like she had a really good relationship with your dad. Mostly we just had really like stoic strong like kind of fathers. And I remember telling my mom, oh thank god I don't have a dad because I can't imagine having to deal with that. That was my perception of what manliness of what the mill species were I guess. Fast forward to now and seeing my mom and me's relationship and how she has constantly never been the one to depend on anybody. No, even just man, woman, auntie, uncle, sister, brother, she's just the kind of person to depend on anyone by herself. That is the kind of person I am too. So I say this say another culture shock I've had while being in Nigeria, which is on this really cultural shock because I knew that. I also knew that when I went to Ghana is the fact that the society that we live in is highly dependent on a man's approval for any and everything. Like you have to need a guy to help you. If you go into the club, who are you going to the club with if you're invited somewhere, which man is bringing you, who is the driver? If I'm getting a driver, are you doing paying for your smile? Is that a bus somewhere? I remember reaching out to a bunch of drivers asking them about options for car rentals and everybody kept saying, oh yes, yes, I kept saying I'm knowing it's sad. I'm a fucking woman like bro, what is it? So we live in a highly particular society and I can tell it's even different because I'm openly, I'm very open because I'm very open as well about my sexuality, my preferences, my strengths, my weaknesses. You all know me in and out especially because of my podcast. When I am in spaces in Nigeria, I can tell the men don't know what to do with me and I also don't know what to do with them because in many ways, the Nigerian man, the typical Nigerian man, not all of them, but the typical Nigerian man sees a woman with a pair of hot legs as nothing more than a pair of hot legs or someone that they could be a romantic relationship with. Very rarely do they see a woman as a partner or colleague, someone who they can work in tandem with. They usually want to take advantage of that woman in some capacity and other women play this game too with them. Like this is not a strictly, the men I do know these things like women play into that. Now you can say that's the power of the woman to just play into that to get what they want. You can argue however you want to argue with that, but essentially that's what the Nigerian sort of scene is. I say that to say since I've been in Lagos, my experience with like going out to the club so everything, especially because I also feel like people see me as having this really dominant feminine energy, is been very interesting. One of those interesting experiences was when I was out of the club having a good time and I was asking with this girl and she was like, oh, she would, am I interested in having a three-some with her and her friend, her friend is a girl too. And guys, I'm not going to lie to you. 2019 Sophie would have said yes immediately. 2025 Sophie, I don't think she was interested. So 2019 Sophie, on the other hand, would have said yes to that. And I remember in that same frame of mine thinking through my life at this point and going, I feel like I've made it. I just wanted to share that. I got offered that because just because I feel like I just felt very sexy and very proud of this moment, I felt like a guy. Like, oh, yeah, like this is, I have Nigerian mind outside enough to have been offered that. And as more of like a, we want to take care of you type situation. And I just don't know how I feel about that because I feel like in Nigeria, I just feel like in my down. That's what I felt like in my down. And it's just, it's felt good to be in my like, being home just feels like being in my down, being in my madam era. And I love it. So I spent the shame mostly plugged that. Your girl is having a good time. Again, barring all the systemic issues that Nigerians face. Yeah. Oh, so yeah, the three-something. So they asked me what the girl asked me. I said no, they got upset about that, which is fine. And then that was the end of the three-some. Well, we didn't actually do it, but I was very sad about that. And then a few seconds ago, this guy asked me for my number. And I was just like, no, I'm not interested. And it just seemed so taken it back to. I don't know why people are taking it back with that. I don't think I ever put it out there that I'm interested in anything romantic, especially because again, like I said, no, I don't know what I would ever need from a man that was romantic or sexual in nature or physical. I don't, it's just not like, I've just never, I've never been that way, too. I've always not hear that. Anyways, guys, I feel like that is the end of that essentially. Oh, Nigeria, Nigeria. It's just been interesting. It's been home. I feel like this is just me just in with you guys because I feel like you guys are my friends and we're all in FaceTime. If I was on FaceTime and my friends were not talking about my Nigerian trip, I'll be like, yeah, guys, so the spacing happens too. And this thing happened and in life was good. And I'm thinking of what creators I want to interview here in Nigeria. I'm still not sure who is at the top of my list yet. I very much think, and you know, I will be great. You guys know, if you don't know these people, I got you, but I'm still trying to think about folks. I wasn't going to interview anyone here just because I felt like, I don't know, I didn't want to work. I just wanted to have fun. But Nigeria, Lagos, you're going to work in Lagos, you're going to work and you're going to feel that work very, very much so. Okay, so a few other culture shocks, I noticed in Nigeria. I want to say the heat is a culture shock. I think the heat is more so like a, I can't believe I'm not used to this. Like, guys, I'm not American. I refuse to be American. Guys, I refuse to be the American. As I'm speaking right now, I want to switch my accents back to being in Nigeria because I'm tired. I hate that I've become this person. It seconds me that this is the kind of person I am right now who is complaining about the heat in my motherland, but the heat is crazy. So culture shock, the heat, and again, on Spotify, triple, a lot of people, they were like, they didn't realize that Nigeria was so hot. Because again, Nigeria has like a tropical rainforest climate. It gets very hot here really quickly. So it's today is a really hot day essentially and I feel like I want to be naked. Another culture shock, which is not necessarily a culture shock is just more of a thing. I didn't realize I dressed more. I didn't realize I dressed so naked. And guys, I feel like I know I get a lot of conversations had about the way I dress because I, I don't see my body in the same way society sees my body. I think we sexualized the human body in a very interesting way. I grew up in a home where my mom would be running around the house naked, cooking food. I grew up just walking around naked around people like I just it was my body and nakedness was never anything I had to hide. I will also say there's a part of me that feels like my my relationship with my body also stems with how my body looks. If I'm being completely honest, I don't I feel like I don't have a lot to hide or cover up. I wonder if I was thicker. I would be sexualized even more. And that would have made me want to hide myself more. I'm very curious about that with sociology. Like I wonder if the reason why I am the way I am is generally because, you know, I just my titties are like the size of little apples. My ass is really not that big. My thighs are okay. You know what I mean? I just it's not a lot of things about me that I would read as like extremely spent like sexual. So maybe that's why I don't see my body in that way but I know a lot of people like tend to want to put that sort of sentiment on me, which is very interesting. Whatever. The also the thing about like the money situation in Nigeria was a culture shock now for me. I think I grew up where your money went farther than it goes now, not so much. And the fintech industry Nigeria is so interesting with like paying for stuff with cash with bank transfers instead of cash versus credit card. I've been hearing some stories about how Americans would come to Nigeria and spend money on their credit cards or on their bank cards. And then when they go back to America, they go into, you know, cancel the bill or claim the bill or file a claim for the bill. And then the banks in Nigeria never get the money back. So businesses lose money. So there's little things I've heard about that I've noticed within the cash fintech industry Nigeria because folks here tend to either take cash or bank transfers specifically. So I use tap top send, just random if you guys I've ever been interested, this is not an ad by the way. But I use tap top send to send all my transfers from now on. And I can use tap top send money to Ghana, to Nigeria, to Rwanda, anywhere. Like I just bought some lunch from one of my favorite restaurants in Lagos, my food by Hilda. And I use tap top to book it. And it was like $14, zero transfer fees. And the money went into the account like immediately. So that's what I've been using for money transfers to like open a bank account here in Nigeria. But again, that's the decision I'm trying to make because if you don't know, your girl is a nomad traveling and I'm trying to figure out where like my long stay homes would be like New York, of course, it's going to be one of them. But I've been really, really curious about living in a car or a lake or South Africa. I've never been to South Africa. And I think if I go to Cape Town or Johannesburg, if I fall in love with South Africa, South Africa might be an option too. However, South Africa is a bit farther than everywhere else. So definitely a bit curious about what I think about that. Guys, Nigeria has just been fun. Besides all of the drama of that, I've not been partying as much as I should. But I've been to Zaza, I've been to Silk, I have been to Mania. Those are like some three lounges and clubs that I've been to. And those have been really fun. Fired in ice in like a coy area. Yeah, I don't know what else I wanted to share with you guys about my stay so far, but it's been really good. I also feel like it's been interesting navigating my identity now. I was like a Nigerian American because I'm still very much in between Nigeria and America. So I feel like next week, next week's episode, if I have a guest, it will be fun to like chip chat with the guests about like what the perception of me is and them and so on. I'm really, really excited for that. All right, guys, there's a lot of things to that. I want to talk about that's been going on the internet that I think we're going to talk about in the segments about just this is where usually I would have guests and then we yaps more about it, but was scrolling on my phone the other day and I saw this conversation about influencers and being overrated. And let me talk about this from the lens of my viewpoint as an influencer now in Nigeria. So since I've been in Nigeria, I've had a bunch of opportunities to do media rounds to do press and it's so interesting because I posted a video where I said that I am a lot more celebrated back at home than I am in America. And for me, it's as simple as the majority, right? So in America, the majority are white people in the bigger landscape and versus Nigeria where 200 million people are all black like and I'm Nigerian. I mean, I absolutely really put up a potentially full of my accounts just for context. So, but the money lies in American brands and the money lies in American hands. So a lot of people go towards the west because of that understanding side bar. So that is my input essentially has been an influencer working here versus there all of that. I watched this video and it was this girl. It was this black girl who was just spitting a lot of anger and resentment about how black girls, terrible influencers, terrible role models, we wouldn't just stop being influencers. And I'm so tired of the bullshit. Why is it our people? Do you guys know how much the influencer, you know what? Hold on. How much is the influencer, influencer marketing industry worth? 24 billion dollars in 2024, 24 billion in 2024. And it could grow now according to Forbes, the $250 billion influencer economy is booming. 250 billion influencer industry. 250, you guys hear that number? 250 billion billion dollars. Not Naira, not CDs, not Yen, doilis. What is our problem? What is your problem? Has a people like how do we not understand that the one thing keeping us down from advancing in life is access and opportunity. The internet affords every single person a level playing field in some capacity, barring any algorithm or influences that let folks grow and amass money and success and financial safety and security and freedom through an industry that is predominantly female. The negative thing pieces, the issues, oh, everybody has a podcast now. Don't pick up a mic for 250 billion dollar industry. Pick up the fucking mic. Do we think there are enough doctors in the world? Are there enough lawyers in the world? Are there enough engineers, contractors, drivers, cars, cameras? But the one industry that is predominantly female is what we want to all of a sudden make and think pieces for about how yes, they're all, all the influencer routines are about Pilates and then green juice and do you know how much more healthier young women are because of this? How many of us grew up ever working out? I don't know, I didn't grow up working out. The gym was a male thing. The gym is a very guy thing. Pilates and solid corn, all these things allow young women now to go into workouts excited. Let's wear matching sets. Let's go drink matcha. Let's get tea. Let's do this, let's do that. We're building third spaces and getting healthy while doing that and it's a problem because a bunch of New York influencers in New York City are doing this. Do you know the influencers who are in the tech industry? The influencers who are in the beauty industry, skincare industry, fashion industry, protest industry at this point, global advocacy industries. It's a 250 billion dollar market for a reason and I want to say that with all the love in my heart because I wish we understood what access is with the jobs, like the job, the kind of job I'm doing because access is so important and so I saw that and I got really frustrated but then go out for the comments because it was bitter but I could also tell that it's usually this is what happens in situations like this right where something new essentially happened like you know the influencer business was growing and the quarantine happened. It's been four years now so the cycle is finished but not the points where if you've not sort of made it when you started out in 2020 and you've been posting and posting and posting and trying you might now start getting frustrated and the economy is not really good as well for a lot of people. Excuse me. So now a lot of people are thinking oh this is a terrible industry I need to go on now they're a bashing industry. It's just cause you couldn't make it in it. I might be saying that as a bad thing it's just facts. Now everybody became lawyers. It's never okay to put people down for succeeding at something that you really really want and for a lot of the videos I see about being an influencer, half of them, their page is all about being doing get ready with me and doing all these things and again maybe the conversation is like that word influence because again I've always had an issue with that name. Being an influencer is not something that I say I would say I am. I think most people shouldn't call themselves influencers. I think you're a content creator. You create content for a living right. You create content around your regular life about your passions about any of those things. You're doing necessarily influenced people. I think that's where usually the issues arise. So yeah I still have a commission. I was very frustrated again because even when I was doing media rounds in Lagos I've gotten a little comments about how what are my thoughts about people being podcasters. What are my thoughts about people being influencers? How much money the industry makes? So people don't still know how much money the industry makes. Folks in Ghana aren't monetized yet on Snapchat meaning there is so opportunity in around the world for this. Afro beats just got to Brazil. Afro beats as a genre just got to Brazil and getting this amassing the following that it could amass in that space in the world just started getting to Brazil. Bad Bunny, Spanish music just started even being bigger in America and around the world that he's headlined the Super Bowl. We always think because we see people around us doing something that that means it's too much when we're just little we're like little sand like a piece of sand in the beach like we're not even there yet. The world is the world is so open for so many things. The influencer world is not oversaturated. I don't think it would ever well be. Maybe you might be looking at the wrong FIP but the influencer world is never saturated. You need to take your time to find things that make you feel happy and good about yourself and then follow those things. If you listen to this guys, please start that video, start that podcast, start the thing. Okay, start the thing. There's also one thing that's really changed for me outside of living in America and it's the fact that when I was in Nigeria, I'm so influenced by the art of storytelling in Nigeria and in the global market versus like America. Sorry guys, I'm getting so comfortable. That's why I'm like moving around so much. I just think it's really cool. There's this thing for creators to do here where like they launch full-ass movies like they film full movies like two hour long, three hour long movies, four hour long movies. I'm post on YouTube and the dedication that takes in the production value for those movies is so insane. I see creators doing skits and shows and just guys is so cool being Nigerian and living in Lagos. It's so cool being a creator in this economy and I just want people to know that if you're listening to this and you feel like you want to travel the world and you want to listen, I feel like yes, you can but don't also don't also go away from your current situation and think that what you have is not enough because someone who's an outsider watching the Nigerian space right now, I'm just I'm so in love with it. I think it's so cool how people here are so dedicated so so dedicated to their craft and they do it so well. That's pretty much it. I feel like about my job about Nigeria. I think life is about to get even more chaotic the next couple of weeks I'm really excited to bring you guys along for. I feel like everybody says like welcome home and that's what I've got in. A lot of messages about it's like welcome home, welcome home but I don't know if I like I don't know how I feel about like welcoming myself home when home feels so different for me. It doesn't feel the same anymore and it feels like I'm just I'm a different version of myself that I forgot sometimes existed and thankfully because I've been traveling so much it's been helpful like it's been very helpful to be able to morph and switch and adjust I think that's what travel does to you but for someone who was born and raised here to still feel this level of distance with the space I'm in right now. I think it says a lot about me how I'm feeling and what I'm up to and stuff so that's been cool or interesting to see and my mom is also not here so it's just pretty much me raw dogging life in Nigeria and that's been crazy because I left Nigeria as like honestly I left Nigeria as Adirunke and I'm back as the oddity that those two things are so many light years away from each other because now I don't even go by Adirunke anymore which is my given name is Sophie and the oddity was not something that was birthed until like a few years into my life in America and was for a whole different purpose that I don't really think I knew of the oddity or something like I didn't think I was going to ever become the oddity which is so interesting again too so as a certain level of emotional tug of war I'm also feeling about being home while also like realizing that I've changed and I've changed in ways that I just don't know anymore food is amazing I've been eating I'm not eating well because I've been pooping as much as I've been eating but I've been eating it feels like the food the communities and the NG is great but also feels like I've definitely outgrown the version of myself that lived here when I was here duh I'm grown now so I'm adapting to a lot more things than I expected and I think I enjoy the longer stays because longer stays have been helpful for me longer shows of how they realize that I can become a different type of person if I want to essentially and that just works I am grateful that I am the oddity and I've come back this way but there's also a lot of pressure from me around my extended family too about coming back successful so it's this idea of like oh you know I'm back I'm really successful I am this version of me and there are times when I came back I just wanted to rest and like it's like bus club another club event media tour press everything that I've prayed for is happening home has definitely shown me so much love but also feels like home does not hasn't understood me yet to love me the way it does right because I feel like I like guys me being this comfortable in Nigeria is a scary thing with the things I can say on my podcast and the way I move in life right but I am happy because this is still home I just don't want to pretend like everything glitter is gold and everything that's happening to me is exactly how it's supposed to happen so it feels good it feels good to just be here and it feels like I'm emotionally healing in the way I wanted for this year like I think I'm going to really really be excited and grateful for the experiences I'm about to have in this space the beauty of growth I think is when like my home you know home never defines you boy still grounds you home right now it still feels like that's me Nigeria feels like a place that's still grounded me in many ways and I'm so grateful for that I'm glad I'm able to experience Nigeria in this way but yeah guys that is today's episode of a mind to love the podcast with Sophie aka the motherfucking audity I hope you enjoy this yap session there'll be more yap sessions while I am in Nigeria hopefully in this space because I feel it really really love it and also more stories to tell at the same time too I love you guys very much and I'll see you guys in my next part episode bye guys