I ran my first Marathon - EP 05

Ah, go! Why are you groaning, I'm like, my sis, what was that? Y'all, I would attempt to put my feet down to tell you guys, or show you guys the amount of pain I'm in right now, but I will not do so. Because I want to, I can't honestly tell you, let's just start the episode. If you're watching this on YouTube, hi. If you're not, and you're listening to the audio, oh my god, you guys, guess what? Your girl ran her first marathon. I'm a marathon runner. 26.2 miles today. That is why I looked this rough. I even look rougher because Donald refused to let me rest after the marathon. Decided that it would be cool to record a podcast episode straight after you're lying. So straight after, I could not tell me I was being stupid and say no. So you were encouraging nonsense because that's what he did. He literally said, let's record episode. And then clearly I'm tired because I just ran 26.2 miles. If you're listening on Spotify or Apple Music, I am currently holding up my gold medal. I hurt my teeth. And I had business in my medal because this is solid gold from the New York City for running the marathon. Is this how we go? Yeah, I'm telling you using your blood. As I was saying, as you're really in terms of my intro, you're going to run a marathon. Now, you're probably wondering Sophie. You've probably said this all over your socials. Why is this special? Why are you making a whole podcast episode about this marathon? We can't, if you say that. Because did you run the marathon? Did you, did you, did you ask me that question? Did you run the marathon? No, you did not. I ran it. Donald, what is the percentage of people who run marathons? 1%. You know, it's 0.01. No, it's 1%. It's 0.01. Google it. Well, that's your company 1%. I would even 1%. How many points in the world? Exactly. It's 0.01%. How many points? Google it and that's what we said. Wait. Zero points. No, just ask. I mean, people run marathons. Chagypity. No, now just Google. Google is still a superior. That's no. We'll discuss that later in a different episode. Well, you guys are a little crusty. I'm so sorry. At least, like, ran. I showered and I just came right into the sea. I've done nothing. I've never eaten yet. That's why the education is 0.001. 0.001. 0.001. 0.001. No, it's 0.01. What did I say? What did you say? You said 0.01. No, I said 0.01. A. A. I said 0.01. That's wrong. The clip is 0.01. No, it's 0.01. It's 0.01. Google it. Who's right? Who's right? Nobody. We both got the wrong. You guys can see it. We both got the wrong. You're supposed to say me. Because I just ran a marathon. So you're supposed to, like, kiddo to me. What was you? It was you. Thank you. I got right. I'm always running the marathon again next year. Let's noivate and jump here. Let's finish what we started. Let's finish what's on ground right now. Do you know what I mean? Do you know what I mean? I don't know. Are you a critter? Yeah. Wasn't the whole point of this being about like to push people. You should sign up right now. Next one. Y'all, there are people in your life that you think want to push you to be the better than yourself. Yes, for sure. And if people like Donald, who wants you to sofa in life, and then you put it under the guise of support, people like that don't listen to them. Because you're a kid. I don't think that's accurate. That's very accurate. Because don't know why you're bringing up me running a marathon when I'm still in pain. I physically cannot put my leg down right now because I am in pain. I'll believe you. Eat. Welcome to Amai Tulao, the podcast. You know what's crazy, y'all? Don't okay, everyone in marathon. So he's talking. Okay. You know what's funny? There is an every girl's marathon on October 16 that you can do virtually. I dare you. 26.2 miles. Virtually? Yeah, November 16, two weeks. Will you want me to run a marathon in two weeks? Yes, virtually. Just do a virtual one. So you still get a, you still get a medal. You just do it virtually. Okay. Yeah. Are we doing it? Well, you're doing it. I'm just going to be you all first time. Is this for real? No, I'm dead ass. You just japa yapa yapa. Remember what? November 16. What would I get if I did? You get your own medal now. All right. Yeah. Would it be the same goal? Yeah. Well, it's not New York. Be virtual. Yeah. It's like those super that go to real school. I'm a high school. Yes. You're trying to say you're quite early. You don't want to do it. I'll do it. You do it? Yeah. Are you sure? Yeah. You see them in the broadcasts? It's coming out on Wednesday. There is no take backs. No, do it. All right, y'all. You heard it here first. Still all that's running his first marathon. It's called the Every Girls Marathon. He'll be running it to support women's equality. Because, you know, I love women. Okay. Well, I guess that's I guess. Why does that? Why does that require something? Because I don't know why you said it. Well, you said it. The audience is kind of getting a lot of faces right now. Because you said it strangely. And I just didn't know it was from that. No, I'm just acknowledging them. Like, I'll do it. So, not even for the challenge, but for the fact that like, it's promoting equality. So, you believe in equality for my name, women? I believe in equality period. Are you a feminist? Yes. Okay. Good answer. Moving on. Oh my god. Okay, let me actually sit properly. Y'all hold on a second. I can't. I didn't either. Okay. So, I can do it. I do. It's a say to move it. No, no, no, you have to be careful. I want to put it here. Okay. You're fine. Why sit down? Ah! You can tell me sorry. Guys, this is so, I was going on. Y'all, this was so hard. This is so hard. This is so, I feel like this was so dramatic of me. But, um, yeah, as I was saying. God, I'm in so much pain. Why did I do this to myself? Why did I do this to myself? Let's talk about it. So, the whole, this entire, it's just necessarily about the marathon alone, but I wanted to film this because I just achieved something that I never thought in my wildest dreams. I would have any interest in, which is, you know, happy running a marathon running in general. And y'all probably know, if you watch any of my YouTube channels, I've talked about this enough. But I'm going to reiterate that I started running because Donald was running, and I'm a very competitive person. So, what happened, what happened was, Donald tells me he has a golden life is to run a marathon. I said, hmm, let me steal your goal because I'm competitive, and I think I can be better than you in anything you're doing life. Because, again, he's a man. And if you know Donald, Donald is very competitive too. Donald said then, I said, bet. I'm going to come run with you. He looked at me and he cackled. And he basically was like, girl, you can't run. I said, try me. And then we went on a run, and I couldn't run one minute, you guys. I was huffing and puffing. I was struggling. And Donald was pressing around like a cheetah on the streets of Jersey City. Like this man was gliding on the road. He did not break a sweat. He in fact looks like a gazelle living his best life. While I looked like, who is Timon O'Pumba from the Lion King? I was too... You know what's funny? What? I actually made this reference out for his name. I'm telling you. Like I feel like Puma. It was just not the best situation. And if you know me, this might sound so audacious, but I don't like to do anything half-assed, but I also don't like to be told that I can't do something. Because I feel like in anything in life, you can do it if you put your mind to it. Right? I think it's always a mental thing. So from that day on, which was I think about a year ago? Yeah. A year ago, I said to myself, Sophie, you're going to run. I never said I was going to run a marathon, but I said I was going to learn how to run. And so I did. And then I, girlboss way too close to the sun, and I ended up running a marathon way before I was prepared for it, which is what happened in the situation. How do you think about being pivot-hole into something that has transformed my entire life, don't? I think it's dope. I don't know if I inspiring people. Okay. Not dude, though. It's dope because like, I don't even know if I can run a marathon. Yeah, but you're running a marathon? Until I do it. Yeah. Right? It's like, like 26 miles, like, it's crazy. You guys, I don't think you're in the stand. I'm going to try to put a clip of what this looks like. I run that amount of time today. And I'm telling you, when I first started, I was all smiles. I was so happy. Like, I posted a tick talk about it. Probably, I would have already posted this when this video goes live. I was filled with joy. In fact, I thought I was capable of anything. I could pull my mind too. And I think at mile 13, it was on the bridge. 13 was on the bridge. That was when I said, oh, I fucked up. Because it was at that moment in time. That's what it gets you. Because I could have stopped. Right? Because there's a half marathon and there's a full marathon. I could have stopped at 13 and said, you know what? You've done it. You're a good job. Pots on the back. Nobody can run 13 miles. I said, no. Sophie, you're a big, you're a big kill. You can do the entire thing. And look at me now. I can't walk. I can't move. I mean, crying all nights. In fact, I shed so many tears today. Because I tried to grow a boss too close to the sun. So I think one thing that's interesting is I think it was down back there coming a month ago. Right? Because a month ago, what happened? You had kind of given up. I gave up. Right? I gave up. You did not start training again. I didn't start training at all. You didn't start running again until 15 days ago. Okay, so here's to the title. So the title of the episode is more and more. I don't know where we're going to title it yet. But the idea is this word, I like to reference when people talk about me, which is a multi-potential A, someone with many, many interests who excels at all those interests. And maybe Excel is a strong word. But the idea is, you know when we grow up, people always ask you, what do you want to be when you grow up? Right? And you're saying, I want to be a doctor. I want to be a lawyer. I want to be all those things. I was a child who, when I heard that statement, I thought I could be anything. Like, oh, school isn't hard. I could do whatever. Like, I'll be fine with it because I know I'm going to be good at it. And that thinking wasn't always supported because you're meant to excel at one thing. Like the way society works is, you do something really, really well. They put you in that box. That's your label. And that's how you stick. That's what you stick into, right? And so for me, being a multi-potential that is, today I'm like, you know what? I really, really want to be into running. So I'm going to make sure I'm doing a marathon in a month. Or I want to swim. Or I want to do a triathlon. Or I want to start doing to the gym. Or I want to do a podcast. I want to be a diplomat. But yes, that's the idea, right? And so, especially with something like this, for example, it just seems very like a Sophie thing to do. Like, I remember when I told everyone around me I was running, they were like, first of all, why? And then they were also like, oh, it makes sense because it's a youth thing. And I think I enjoy that. That's that thing about me is celebrating amongst my friends. I wouldn't be where I am if that wasn't celebrated. You know what I mean? Mm-hmm. What do you say, no? Look, that doesn't make sense. Is Eagle isn't chickened by how you just show it? Raise your hand. If the question, what do you want to be when you grow up, has ever caused you any anxiety? Any anxiety at all. While this question inspires kids to dream about what they could be, it does not inspire them to dream about all that they could be. The notion of the narrowly focused life, is highly romanticized in our culture. It's this idea of destiny or the one true calling. But what if you're someone who isn't wired this way? A multi-potential aid is someone with many interests and creative pursuits. As a society, we have a vested interest in encouraging multi-potentialites to be themselves. We have a lot of complex, multi-dimensional problems in the world right now, and we need creative out-of-the-box thinkers to tackle them. Embrace your many passions. Follow your curiosity down those rabbit holes. Explore your intersections. Multi-potentialites. The world needs us. The first thing I go out of that is follow your passions, right? And I think we're bringing in like as an African kid, right, getting raised like we, the biggest thing within our culture is what are you going to be when you grow up? Like we've heard the jokes with like an Nigerian parents saying you're going to be a doctor, a lawyer, an engineer, an accountant, right? And that was it. Like this idea of me making a living right now as a podcaster or like doing social media is very far-fetched even from our. So I wanted to talk about this because I wanted to show folks essentially that you can dream and have multiple passions and excel at those. They don't have to just be very linear because you also went, we did not go down the linear path. Yeah, I went to film school. You did. But you also a guy. Does that have anything to do with it? I don't think so. But I also have parents who like, come on since there's off-camera, so I was looking at her and seeing if she knotted her head about that or not. No, and she could probably acknowledge it's true or not, right? Yeah. For me, when I was going to film school, there was no pushback on like why are you choosing film? Yeah. Because I feel like that was, but I don't think my parents also... They hope she doesn't have things. Oh, I gotcha. I did care, but like we don't think he's going to do it in school. Intentionally into it too. Okay. But I think this idea of like you can do a lot, right? I can do all things. I can do high things. Why do you think people kind of like things? Are people scared of doing multiple things? Or why do you think they just took a while? It's hard. I don't know. I think even this, you all are going to be able to like tell, right? Like I don't know. The audacity to exist and chase experiences requires a certain level of confidence and courage that is hard to come by was also like hard to do at the end of the day, right? Because it also, there needs to be so many things stacked to support that for a lot of people, especially if you're looking at like just being a black woman and what that looks like. Like today running the marathon, there wasn't a lot of us. Like I just, I was... Yeah, I counted like five. Okay, it was not that little. It might have been like 50. Yeah. I didn't see one that five. Really? I didn't either, but maybe I just thought I didn't, I missed them. There probably was a bit more. But the ideas, for example, this idea of running a marathon seems so far-fetched, right? Who like someone like me. Someone like questions why? Yeah, like why did I do that? My legs are pinning me. I mean, it looks like I'm tired. But I think this is, it happens a lot, right? It's like, think about like the ecosystem of all the things that we have going on right now. Some would question why we do any of that. Yeah, right? I think that's like why, right? Like why the podcast? Why the game show? For the experiences. This marathon thing, right? We're posting this podcast that you're all watching right now. You're going to see a vlog about it. That's true. You're going to see short from content. Yeah. You're going to see the documentary on it's channel. You know what I want to say something so audacious. I think we talked about this in the early episodes. I don't know if it's come out yet. What we talked about the life of a black child versus a white child, like other, right? And how they're raised. Whereas on one end, it's pretty much like you're raised. And this is not all, it's not a blanket statement, but you're raised with it. Like as a black child, as a white child, you're raised with a certain level of curiosity. You're allowed to explore the world. There's no danger. There's no, not, you're just allowed to be. And so in sports like this, right? And I don't know what they call it. Endurance sports. You don't tend to see a lot of people who look like me. And I think it's because we ask ourselves, why are we running? Who's chasing us? What's going on there? Why am I going to climb on Everest? Why am I going to jump out of a plane? My life is already filled with enough as it is from society, from the world. I don't need to add that layer to it. But I think there's something missing. Like the strength I have found within myself today, I didn't even know existed, right? Because I've been through a lot, even as me, right? And I didn't know I was strong enough to be at my lowest and still keep going. Because it felt like a different type of law. It didn't feel like a law that was instilled by a society or the pressures around like family or life or anything else. It simply felt like this was a choice I was going to make in this moment. I either chose to push myself to be better, push myself to excel and get to the finish line. I think I hope people can see that, right? Because this idea of like, okay, you run a marathon. Yeah. But we're going to see that and you're going to be like, okay, that's bold, right? Yeah. She trained. She worked hard. Right. But even though you were, you knew that, okay, this is a risk, right? Yeah. This is scary. I'm going to complete this. Like, yeah, I was really short of it. That was the one thing I kept telling everyone. Everyone kept telling everybody. Just the other day, we went to the expo, which is the marathon expo for the actual marathon we went. I ran today and this guy was like, oh, how many miles have you run? The summer, I was like, oh, 70. And he looked at me like I was crazy. Because he had run 700 or 500 miles. And I looked at him and I said, why? And he said, oh, well, I've run like 35 marathons or something. He was going out. Yeah. And I was like, oh, well, I haven't run any. So well, I would let put myself to that pain several times. I just wanted to do it once. And then if I enjoy it, and I enjoy it to where I'm enjoying the pain right now. But if I see what it does for me, then maybe I would think of doing other ones, right? And so it's interesting, I don't know. And I think there's this thing, right? I think what I'm also learning from this is over preparation does not mean ready. Right? Because even on the day of, even on the day of, I remember I told you that. So the person I was running with, pretty, he's an incredible good friend of mine, influencer, running influencer in New York. And she said last year, she was so prepared. She did everything. She planned her fueling, her juice. She was set. And that was the worst run she had. She was like struggling. She couldn't breathe, right? She was exhausted about two. She was like, was her worst time. All of that was happening. And I remember thinking to myself, I hope that's not me. Well, I also knew wasn't going to be. Not necessarily because of like anything else, but I just knew that I was going to finish. I was no matter what. Even if I had to go through hell and water, I was going to finish. And I told Donald this a lot. I told him this a lot. And I think about how I think about content in life. I don't think you need to constantly be prepared for something. Because I don't think that's how life works. I think, this is interesting. I think it's because of our upbringing and our circumstance that oftentimes has host think we need to be very prepared for certain situations. Because we're not comparing ourselves to anything other than the little minuscule. Let me explain this properly. So imagine this. You are a minority in a majority country, right? If you are applying for a job, you're not only competing with, among people who look like you, but you're competing against society that's already told you, you're not going to get this anyway. So you're having to be, we hear this thing a lot about being overly prepared to double times qualify. We know the elections coming up. We've been here this rhetoric right now about, you know, Kamala Harris versus Donald Trump and this election cycle, right? She's very, very prepared. But clearly, Donald is just, you know, Donald Trump. And so you even see that happen too. And I just, I hate that thing that we have to do. Like, even with content, I'm always telling my friends, you don't have to have the fanciest real or the fanciest edit or the fanciest text on your content, just post. And for a little, it was the hardest thing to do. Because we needed to be perfect for it to be digestible for our peers. When I tend to look at our other counterparts and realize they don't do the same thing, they don't. It's a completely different game. It's a completely, I remember, I went to Bora Bora with Tarkas Medics and I was on a plane. And it was, I think, four other black girls with me. And we were planning our content, right? We're on the plane, we're thinking, oh, we have to post this on date. We have to finish the, we have to finish line there first. Schedule when we're going to post it. We're going to post it in a week's time. You know, because we're going to be strategic about it and make sure the content is great and a lot of that. We're doing all these things. And we landed. And our colleagues on the same plane, I posted it's TikToks when we had it when people said one. And I remember seeing that and going, how is that possible? Like, how, at what time did you have between being on this plane brainstorming it? And I remember I asked that question, they were like, oh, we don't even plan. We just like draft it and post it. We don't even have drafts. Don't have drafts in this economy. I kind of, I had like 300 drafts sitting now. I played my draft at that trip. Because I realized that was also something that I was struggling with. The idea that I could do simply just, even enjoy creating content and enjoy experiences because I had to be prepared for it. Like, this podcast is a big example of that. It took me four years to launch my podcast. Because I really thought I had to be prepared. Like, I had to add my brand. I remember like my manager, what, you know, we're trying to shove the podcast around to different people. And manager said, oh, I really just thought you would record your podcast in your closet. Have a mic, record it, and post it. I didn't know you're going to do all of this. And to me, I'm like, this is even me trying to not be prepared. This is me trying to not go crazy. This is me just casually chilling. That's not a flex. That's the fact, right? This is, this is from me. This is just like, oh, we're just going to launch it to see what happens. That to me is something I even want to change. Because I think we're deserving of exploring different things without the added pressure of making sure it has to be perfect. And I think that's what I enjoy about really most of the potential. Like having those creative interests and like, understanding that I'm allowed to experience different things and enjoy it. And I think I struggle with that because with Audity, especially with social media, you're supposed to like have a niche or a lane. And I don't have that. Like, I might post running content, I fitness content now because, oh, this is what, this is the lane I'm in. Then two days later, I might start posting comedy stuff or I might start posting fashion and beauty. And I want us to be okay with having multi-dimensional human beings who want to dabble in different things and don't have to be stuck in that one thing. And so I'm so excited for myself. I like that idea of this marathon. It hurts. I'm in a lot of pain. But I also know that I can do this. I can start doing more experiences that I know pushed me out of that comfort zone. Right. Yeah. So what do you think about what she said with, you know, the world needs us. Yeah. Right. And I think, for me, when I think about like all these different things, I always struggle with the elemental support. Right. Because we, we're high achievers, right. We want to do all these different things. But from the community that we come from, there's a certain lack of understanding on how to even support that potential, right. So a lot of people don't even want to rise to the occasion. Yeah. So because again, you want to keep pushing. But at some point, I keep going to get tired. Exactly. Right. That's such a deep question. You're such a deep question. I don't know. Is it weird to say I've gone through life no expecting support? Yeah. Just knowing that because you're constantly going against a grain, no one is going to think. To support you, right. You're the one who's always going to just have to convince them. To show up for you. And I don't think it's a good thing. I don't think it's fun. I don't think it's like, it hurts, right. Like it's not the best feeling. But I also, I like to say it's like a little quirk of existing as me. Or anyone like who is, you know, an oddity. See what I did there? Oddity, okay. Yeah. Who is an oddity in their space? Because like you guys know the story. If you follow my podcast around my relationship with my family, my mom, like my uncle, all those things. You guys, you've heard this so many times. For me, the biggest issue was that I was just different. Like it was just, I just thought differently. I didn't want to listen to what people wanted from me. I wanted to just figure it out. Like I didn't, I never, I never took an idea of someone told me this is exactly what it is. I always question, I say why? Because I feel like in life, I don't want more experiences. And your first sense is always not. Your root. That's not true. That's not true. You tell somebody something she's like. You know what's funny? I actually want to talk about that. Because you know where that habit comes from? Where? Because you guys don't know the saying, every time someone gives me an idea, my first thing is no. Because I think I have spent so long having to justify that what I want has to be the thing that happens. You know what I mean? Like I've had to convince people so many times that when you add something to it, I'm like, no, just listen. Just like, let me show you. And it took me a long time to realize that I can also start collabbing with people. Right? Because it's hard. It's not hard here. Like I was just telling Don't Know the other day. I'm especially with my team. My biggest struggle now is, you guys, I see the vision. I know what I'm capable of. I know this is not even the beginning of my story. Like with entertainment, with media, with news. Like I know the goals I have for myself are huge. For my family, for my friends. Like they're so huge. But I am so exhausted. I have been to convince people of my potential. And when you spend a lot of time convince people of your potential, you sometimes get exhausted by that. And you just want to give up. I'm never going to give up. I think that's where even like, doing the American comes in. It's like, I'm going to put, I'm going to show you that I can do it. Like, and I hate that. I have to constantly feel like I have to prove that I want to show you that I can do it. But when you've grown up in that like battle feel sort of space, why are you smoking slash smoke? No, because, no, I'm thinking about it to them. Just like, is that toxic, right? Right, it feels like it. I'm with the girl that we're with. Right, she's like, oh, this marathon runner is when she climbed Mount Fuji. They ran up the mountain and they ran back. And the entire time I was like, were you climbed Mount Fuji? And when I got home, I was like, I think I want to climb Mount Fuji. You know, and it's like, because that was me. I was a YouTube video. I was, my favorite YouTuber is Cara and Nate. He did a hundred miles. Well, she didn't do it. Nate did a hundred miles race. I said, maybe I should do a hundred miles for a 35. Mind your album, you don't 10 miles at that point in time. Well, I said, not I want to do a hundred miles. And I, but I like that about me. Like that audacity to see something like that. I not say that could never be me. I wish more people had that. Yeah. I want, I want, especially young black girls. I want them to have that. I want them to have the audacity to say, even if it's not possible. Honestly, even today, if I didn't finish, I will still be so proud of myself. JKL be myself. However, I still will be proud of myself. After I like, after I settled in, that I still tried my hardest. I think what I want to try is to, because we've done it so many times, there's a feeling we felt that feeling after. So that's the feeling that's like, we're going for. Yeah. I think it's maybe a chapstick. I feel like my lips are so dry. They don't look dry. I think it's baby steps, right? Sorry, oh, my lips are chaps, chappy. I think it's baby steps. I think people need to try something. Right? Like you said, the first time you ran like one mile. I remember, right? Because I think I was doing that. The gloss, yeah. Thank you. Lip gloss break. You are for the audio. You can cut this out. And then for the video, you can keep it in. You are as our editor. You guys, he's cool. You shouldn't put that in. Is this weird? You all don't look at my lips nasty. Thanks, mom. As I was saying. Yes, I was like, when we did, because remember, I was doing a 30 day challenge. Yeah. You were doing that. Yeah, that is true. You joined me on day 23. But I remember after that challenge was done, you know, you decided to. I think I said I was wrong. Yeah. You did five mile run. You did push me. I mean, you recorded a video. Do you remember that video? When you went out like, it took like the skyline and joy city. Yeah, we're going to put the video on screen. I can't not. I don't want to describe this. What should I do when I see the room? Open the video, you guys. Yes, my cousins are in the room. Open the video on it. Running in the winter is so easy. You just have to layer up. He's tech, he's tech, he's tech. You got it? Okay. What's your pace? On his three minutes. You got it? You got it? Oh, catch up, catch up, catch up, catch up. Oh my god, send another runner. I can pass her. Are you all right? I passed her. Speed! It's not been cold at all. It's like what? On his 20 degrees? That's so bad. Come on. You got it? No, it's easy here. But I get standing like in the middle. In the freezing cold. Mm-hmm. Right. I'm Chris A. Yes. Oh, I know that video. I was so annoyed at myself. Right. It made no sense after that. And I remember seeing that video and I was like, what is wrong with that? It's like, what? But I think baby steps, right? It's like, whatever you want to do, you have to. Because I think this concept of also being afraid, right? Because like, you were scared as shit today, right? Yeah, I was scared. Oh my god, you guys had cried so much. And I knew it was going to be much. Because you know what's funny? I thought I was going to cry when I finished. I was just angry. Right. And that's something that was so interesting to me. I thought I was going to be emotional when I finished. But I was angry. Because I was like, this was so fucking stupid. Yeah. Like I was like, I'm sorry. No, at the 20th, first of all, I was so annoyed. Sophie says, she was running really fast. And I'm like, okay, you're not going to slow down. Like, I want you to help me. No, let me tell you why. Wait, do you know what you said? What did I say? You said? I want to wrestle. I was thinking about right first. I was thinking about right first. And I'm running. I'm telling you. Because at that point, it's time. Since this was happening, I was running. And then at this point, there's a finished time pacer. So usually when you run maritalians, you have to pacer. And these are people who make sure you keep to a certain goal. So if you wanted to finish in four hours, you joined the four-hour pacing team. So this particular pacing person was the 530 mark minute. They were finishing their race at 530 pm. Let me tell you something. I was not going to finish at 530. There was no way in hell. I was going to finish that race at 530. So I just heard from my E. 530 pace group. I looked back. I said, I don't know where running. I don't know. I was like, what running a bit faster? You okay? I said, it's right. So many things happened. Mommy. Salik and I'm home. I did good. Look at my thingy. It's gold though. I'll send it to you tomorrow. I'm recording. So I have to call you back. Even that. You're all this crazy to me. Like my mom now, like calling me because I ran a marathon. And she's like proud. She was like following my journey. Seeing how hard I was running. And this is an African model. Like she's like, why are you running in the first place? And then once I told her, I just wanted to do it. She said, okay. Like I'm cheering you on. No holes bar. And you're like, you don't want to stop me. It's why you force your body. You're going to. Because usually you, I'm telling you, ask any, like, I don't want to say a typical African mother. But like the idea of like, how are you running for? Would you? Are you going to lose weight now? You're going to do this. I know it's your right. You're stressing yourself out. Because she, I know she wanted to say those things to me. But instead she just said, okay. And she's been so supportive of it. And that is also like helping me realize that I can do so many things. I put my mind to it. I think it's helping me even feel like, okay. The support I'm finally seeking is happening at from that core level. But I was saying something about the 530 rice and stew pace. If I got distracted. Until you were running. So I was tired running. And then after the five, I made sure I passed the 530 pace. I was because I wanted rice and stew at home. And I wasn't going to fail. That was my reminder. Every time I could hear 530 pacing group, I would start running faster. Because I knew that I had, you know what was embarrassing to me? Was that everybody had gotten into notes that said I was going to finish at five. And I did not want to not finish at five. Yeah, I did. I saw you were going to finish at five p.m. You said, yeah, so we projected that. I was going to, because typically when I run my miles, at least I run a 10 minute mile for usually like shorter distances. So if I'm running in 10 miles, my, like if I'm doing solid and good, I've run like a 1030 1130. 1130 if I went trained in a while, 1030 if I have. 1030 means like 10 minutes and 30 seconds within a mile. And so for this one, don't always be very generous and give her 12 minutes because, you know, just in case we'll have a buffer. So to me, 12 minutes is embarrassing to me. I was like, ah, 12 minutes is like, they were trying to just, you know, tell me that girl, we're not doing 12 minutes, you're going to be faster than that. And so the fact that was actually running 12 minutes was so stressful to me. I was so annoyed, but that's why I kept texting you. Am I doing good? Am I doing good? I kept saying yes, because I didn't say I was like, okay. Well, the expectation now for everybody around me is 12 minutes. So if I don't finish before five, I was going to be so disappointed in myself. And I was someone who was already saying I didn't care about time. Well, the moment I saw that as like my threshold, I wanted to beat it. That's why I kept running. You should have seen me at that finish line. I kept running. And then I saw I'd gone to 20, I think 26, and it told me it was 458 p.m. Oh my God. You very, very fast. I just started booking it. And I ended up finishing, I think at 507. Cause we got to the train. I'm like, she's at 25 already. I was running. I remember you at 26. I was running. I'm telling you like, this is probably why my knees are messed up right now because I didn't need to run that fast. Like I love myself to enjoy that. But at this point, I've seen that part of New York cause we've run that mile before. So I was just ready for it to be done. Yeah, so I was very upset about that. How do you feel? I feel good. I'm very proud of myself. I'm so surprised. I was funny. Don't keep saying I'm so surprised. Knowing like a, I didn't believe you could do this way. And like a, you actually are doing this. And that's like, that's the one thing I'm very proud of myself on. Like I will do it. And I, and my motivation might be very interesting, but I will make sure I get it done. I'm really proud of me. It's a good job. So tell me 10, 10 things you've learned about running. 10's I learned about running. Okay. 10 things I learned about running. That's a good thing. Preparation is key. Okay. And I know we just said something about being overly prepared versus like not being prepared. But I think anything to do with your physical health needs intentionality. So maybe I switched that to like being intentional about stuff. I think one of my biggest things now is the fact that I wasn't actually prepared for this race. I know people who have run longer distances, who spend like they had an 18 month training plan that all these things ready to go. And so if we just came in and didn't know run at all. Like I've, I think my max miles of everyone was like 13 miles. Excuse me. And that was it. So if anything be more intentional about taking care of my physical health and running and being prepared for it. If I do this again, which I know I will, I think I, I didn't enjoy it. I don't know if you're listening to this or not. I know I have more than I can do. I enjoy it. 13.1 was a solid time for me, right? Because I think I was pacing myself even slower because I was like, okay, I have my end goal is 26. So I have to do this over. But I think 13.1 for me sounds like doable. Like I will have a good time doing it. So I'm really excited to try that. However, I know now how to be better prepared because I also saw people around me and so how much they stretched, how much they were eating. There was a lot of research around what they were doing, how they took care of themselves. I realized I want to do that too. It's like it wasn't necessarily even a comparison thing was like, okay, you can do this better. I think that's also the cool thing about experiences is now I've tried it. I did good. I did great. I did the best. I was very excellent. I'm so proud of myself. Now I know when I do this again, I'll be even better because I'm going to be better prepared. And the next time next, that's how you learn, right? You just like you learn through that way. I don't know if I have 10 things. I feel like I'm seeing like a one. Logway sponsors. Version is key. Two. I don't know. I feel like I had it in my notes. Can I bring up my notes? Sure. Okay, thank God. And you just put this on, make me put me on the spot like this Donald. Okay, bringing up my notes you guys for this. As I had it written down once, in now, where is it? Okay. Consistency is another one. I really, really, really, really wish I was more consistent. And just like, okay, let's talk about it you guys. A downside to what people call like being a multi-potentialite is, you don't do one thing over and over again, right? Which is exactly what the pro is, right? You have several interests. When you have several interests like that, what ends up happening is you're never consistently on one thing. And I think my biggest thing now is, what are some core things in my life that I want to always be there, right? Is that physical health? Is that mental health? Is that like family? Is that financial support? What does that look like? I mean, those things would always stay consistent and they'll be like the pillars of my life essentially. And then I can always like have creative pursuits around that too, thoughts. So just staring at me smiling. I think, I think with consistency, you have to phone along with it. Right? It's like, whatever you're doing. That's true. Like there's a certain love and connection, right? Because I think that's where consistency comes from. Yeah, I don't love running. Let me give you an example. I think you do. It's painful. I think you do. I think I'm capable. I think I'm capable. There's a skill. No, I think I'm in love with the idea that I can do things better than other people. No, I think so. Let me give you an example, right? I'm very sure of this. And I'll start with one of this. When I wake up in the morning, right? If I don't run, I'm like, damn, I need to run. Right? Because I don't like how my day goes. Yes, that's not me at all. Exactly. So means you don't love running. There are certain things that you do love. Which is what? I don't know, you tell me. Oh, okay. Sorry, I was trying to tell you a good reason where that you approach that way. Yes. I will say, I don't necessarily think I would love any physical activity. Okay. That's why I allow myself to continue running. Do you make sense? Because it doesn't make sense to me. Why am I so afraid myself? It doesn't make sense. It's not that hard. Run, that's what it smells. I can't. Don't, running three miles is hard. I think it's, it's like, I think this, so maybe it's the idea of like fear, right? To me, fear is fun. Like I sit down in front of my computer. For sure. I'm about to hop into a meeting with a client. I'm sweating. Why? I've signed a client that worked with them for two years. Yeah. Well see, it's normal. Yes, do things are afraid of it. That's the idea we always talk about. I get that. But I always will still say around this particular conversation, especially with fitness. It's hard because you're pushing your boundaries. That's the idea of it, right? Like nobody just gets up and says, I want to run, I want to work out, I want to do that every day. Like no, you have to intentionally push yourself past that limit. Do you mean boundaries or are you trying to get to your... Because you're gonna, no, you're gonna hit a wall. Okay. Everybody hits a wall. Even the biggest at least, though there was this famous meme or viral clip of this like marathon winner when she said, this is a stupid thing I'm doing right now. It's very stupid. Well, my running thing is very stupid. Like even people who do this on a pro level tell you is tasking, tasking. He's the marathon guy, the black guy. Yeah. He's not running the marathon anymore. Yeah. Come me down to think it. It's hard. It's very hard. So I think, again, that's why I'm like, it's not necessarily about like having fun with it. It's just like knowing and pushing yourself to want to experience something more. I think that's what it is. So anyways, consistency, another thing. Is it weird to say like, rest? No. Running has helped me realize I don't rest enough. So this is what happens when you're training for a marathon. You have rest and recovery days. Anyone in this room, I know people who watch it, listen to me in this room. I think the fun thing in my friend group is Sophie doesn't rest like, oh, there's Sophie going, she's traveling somewhere, she's doing this, she's doing that. And to properly train for a marathon, you literally have like right now, what I am doing right now is not what I was supposed to be doing. I should be up in bed and compression, fricking, stockings and stuff, sitting, eating my carbs tonight, and I should be knocked out with some ibuprofen getting ready. And I was like, you know what, we need to film a podcast because I want the authenticity of just finally doing this to show. So I don't rest. And I think that was what I affected my training too, because when you do long runs on Saturdays, which is when you run really long to train your body, it's supposed to rest the entire day. I kind of wish this Saturday like that. There's a lot of money to be made. There's a lot of things that have to happen on Saturday. And so I'm realizing now to be intentional with my physical health, I also need to factor in rest. Like what does that look like with yoga, with swimming, with activities that will help me myself, like my mental and physical health recover. I don't think I do that enough. And I think running has helped me realize how important it is to do that. So my goal is going into this new year and just like the end of the year, prioritizing myself in that way and bringing in rest into the situation. I like that. You say that now and the dollar's always the person who's pushing me to not rest. But that's not true. That's a very true. That's fucked up. That's not true. Why are you saying we? I don't want to be you. No, no, no, no, I'm telling you before. Because we both, this calendar happened together. We said that. We said that. And you should be the one to tell me. But that's the thing that's like, I'm going to want to do it. Exactly. That's the problem. You need to understand. Tomorrow we're filming again. We're not. So no, we'll discuss the Saturday. We have to because we want to come out to win. Yes. So we need to put that energy in. We will put that energy in. We're going to film a podcast tomorrow evening. Number four. Okay. Eating. So nutrition. So huge thing. I know how you missed. It's like everything that you're supposed to do. I didn't do it. Your wrist is like, oh, you're supposed to kiss for your run of marathon. I was the most unprepared runner today. I had fun. Well, I was so unprepared. Can I say something? Tell me. It was bad. You're not prepared. I was not prepared. I didn't rest. I didn't train. I didn't train. But I knew you were going to do it. I will. I have no choice. But you know, yes. But also what I'm learning about myself is, and this is therapy talking to folks, is I really subconsciously tell myself, if I don't put in my best, right? This is weird. If I don't put in my best, then whatever I did, I can argue if I don't do it well. Let me see what I mean by that. Like right now, I didn't prepare and I did so well, right? So now if I prepare and I didn't do well, then it's not good. So why don't you set myself up to almost fail, but succeed? I feel the exam. Because you've not studied. Yeah. No, no, no, no, so like I was yet. So I was asked to enter his school, who people would be like, so he's a student who no one would ever see studying. But then the grades come out. She got all A's. They're like, oh, I feel like I didn't even try it. Like what? Like it wasn't what we had. Like, oh my god, wow. You know what I mean? That is what I've been learning. And I want to switch that. Because I realize that's also like a self-sabotage sort of like imposter syndrome coming into play. Because I can also put in the effort and also do well. Just a little bit of sabotage. Huh? Eatin. But no. Jilla first and good. Then what has a big issue with this folks? Because he's always telling me my diet consists of Jilla first and good sweets. Then I'll carry my two legs today. I would tell you for a fact. That's the reason why you're whimsical for me that matters to me. Let's go my girlfriend. It was the right one. It has to be. I ate a lot of rice, y'all. I don't know. OK. I am trying. The other day I ate shawarma. What was it? Chicken. It wasn't going to be. It wasn't going to be. And then I bought tomatoes and sweet potato. I haven't used it yet. But I bought sweet potato to make sweet potato. I don't think it's going to happen. What? I don't think you're going to change anything. No, I really want to. I think I just need a chef. OK. That sounds like a really fancy thing to say. I don't really want to. I really think I just need a chef. It's almost cooking for me. I would eat. But I have the things I love. Don't lean me alone. Next thing, you want to discuss this off-camera. Number five. I think I'm just going to do five because I'm getting stressed out by this. Why, you have more. I know, but I feel like it's lean me alone. I'm going to say like having fun is not weird. OK. I think having fun. So I think because we talked about how hard running is, I think I also had to learn to make sure I was having fun while doing it. I think when you do hard things, your perception warps how you experience it. So if I was running today and I didn't have a smile on my face if I was stressed out if I was worried, I don't think I would have had the similar outcome. Instead, I think I allowed myself simply just have a good time doing it. Like, I was smiling. When it was hard, I started dancing one time when I was feeling at my lowest. I made sure I would high-five people, little kids, to remind myself that I was here to have fun. So I wouldn't stress myself too much. And so even when I do my runs, the longer runs and I'm like, oh, I'm getting bored, I tend to say, OK, well, let's just make this more fun. How can I go to different places? How can I get a snack when I'm on my way? How can I make this more enticing? So hard things can be fun, like you said. Right. Yeah. Because I think when I run, I listen to musicals. People think it's crazy. I think it's crazy. You also really like to think he's different, y'all. Don't tell those everybody. Like, he listens to Hamilton when he runs. And what else? Wicked. Yeah. And it's like, tell me like, yeah, he's like such like strong, strong musicals too. It's so interesting. It's great though. It is for you, yeah. Right? I always referenced like our song on Hamilton, who leaves who dies and who tells your story. Yeah. That's my biggest thing in life. Yeah. Right? It's like, yeah. What are the people going to say about you? Now they're going to say, so if you ran a marathon. Yeah. And run a hundred mile marathon, too. Yes. I'm definitely going to do it all trying to try out the life. I'm not doing that. I mean, especially that out loud on camera. Because I feel like I'm going to. I think you're going to run it next year. I think I'm going to run it. No, no, no, no. Next year is crazy. Next year is a bit much. You're going to do it. I think I'll do it 35. 35 miles? No, I'm going to do 35. At 35 years old. 35. I do. It's so interesting. I have this like weird thing with growing up as a black woman and our physical health. This might be a bit jarring for a lot of people, but I think, especially within our community, I'm maybe just honest, it's just being a woman, right? Like because of every other thing we need to do in life, like the running joke right now is you're either married or running a marathon as a woman in your 30s. That's what they say. Like, it's the idea of once kids happen, you can't take care of yourself. They can't prioritize yourself. Or once this happens, you can't do this. Once you get married, your attention goes away from you as an individual and more around like the people you have to take care of. Like I was running today and Donald kept talking about me multitasking because as I was running I was like, always my family okay. Or they need to go as they tire and they eat in the air. I saw this question. It's like, it's wrong. Like, no, not that matters because you just need to be running some marathon like everything else would be fine. And I'm like, I can't think that linear. I don't think I am. I must say in surround people like my family, of course, like they want me to focus on the race. But I think for someone, I think even as a woman, like the idea is like you want to take care of the people around you. So my, my core is to make sure everybody around me is comfortable and okay, even sometimes at my expense. And I think I don't know what my life would look like at 35, but I know if I, if it looks like me being able to run a hundred mile marathon, I will be really, really proud of me. So that's why I'm saying 35 because I think now it's 27, it's early. I'm so like, now I'm doing things for myself. I'm chilling and vibing about 35 to have that time and education for myself to put in the amount of hours and training that it would require to run 100 mileer. I'll be really freaking proud of myself. Yeah. So I think that's what I'm saying 35. I think it's a good go. I think it shouldn't just be about the year, right? No, 35 just felt like a solid, two-middle round, right? It's like we've talked about jumping out of the plane, climbing mountains. Yeah. You know, I think I feel like I'm playing catch-up, right? It's like I still don't know how to swim. I'm not going to have to swim. Yeah. The moment I can get into a pool and I can swim, I might want to compete. And we're doing a triathlon together. More tennis. For sure. We're going to run our open water next year. We're going to swim across the Abraka de Abra. What is the water in San Francisco? San Francisco. The water. It's like the Askaban. It's Alcatraz. What would you do with the prison? Is that a thing you do? Yes. Just try to mimic it. But tell me, tell me those names. Askaban. Askaban. Askaban. It sounds pretty similar. So I think stuff like that I wanted to do. Right. Also because I don't see people who look like me doing it. I think that's what's fun about it. Yeah. I wanted to do it. Horse riding. Horse riding will be fun. I thought I was pretty. It would be so scary. I think the first time I do it, I would do it without someone. I'm going to train and then do it. Okay. Well, just send me what you want to do with me. I don't know why you're sending those on camera like that. You could have just done it yourself. Why not? I feel like I was doing it together. You just say you didn't want to do it with me. Because you didn't do it by yourself. You know how like when you go, someone helps you. Oh, I thought you were just like telling me, don't go without people. I'm not doing the training. No, I'm not doing the training. Are you afraid? Yes. But you can do it. I can't. I just want something like those who don't choose to do. I read this book recently. Okay. It's called Don't Believe Everything You Think. Yeah, that's a good book. Right. You read it? No. She sounds like a good book. I think, you know, there's something, this concept of thinking and how thinking is actually bad. I like, we're thinking about so many things, right, where we have thoughts, like he compares like thoughts and thinking and you have a thought about something you want to do. But then you start thinking about it. And his explanation is that thinking is what leads to stress, right? So you talked about like the girl who wanted to run the marathon, but she was like, over with the pictures. Why are we thinking about it so much? Yeah. I think for me, that's the reason why I don't, why I don't feel like I'm ready to run on that. So the other way is you can do a better prepare for a lot of people just think to themselves. So I'm like, oh, I don't think I'm like, why would you call yourself in the bathroom? I'm an overthinker though. Yes. I also have anxiety. Right. But I'm also, also, yes, I get that. But again, that's also like, it's an active intention to want to experience these things. I don't know how to overcome it. I'm telling you guys right now, I'm talking to you about wanting to experience these things. I know for a fact, I'm always going to have anxiety about the things I want to experience. But what I've been learning is again, to quiet my mind. And I'm learning tips to help me, I'm learning, I'm learning tips to help me figure that out. And I know when I am not actively quieting my mind, right? And I, I, it may be isn't really a popular painting, but I have friends who don't know how to just hand out. I don't know if it was my trade of thought. In the book, he uses great analogy. He said our, like, our natural state is peace, harmony, and happy, right? Give an example of like, you know, if you are sitting on a couch watching a movie with your family, the movie is really good, but you're thinking about like your job, you're thinking about the thing you need to do, you then become stressed. Yeah. Well, even though you're all watching that movie that everyone is like, I feel unhappy about it, you're feeling differently. So what he's saying, like, the things that actually make us feel good, right, or make us feel stressed, I know really external, they're more internal, because what he wants doing them. Yeah. So he uses like, you know, the automata on the car, right? Yeah. He, he, he was, he explained it to him, like a total meter, you have a thought, right? Yeah. The thoughts is at the zero. You know when the car is like resting? Yeah. Now, when you start thinking, it starts going like this, and it's going, it's going to go in. And obviously, like, there's like the red, right? So I think when you said like, like your anxiety and like you overthinking, that's really what it is. When you, when you don't really like, because like, even I saw from anxiety too, like, I remember like, I remember when I went to California, and I'm afraid of driving. Yeah. I'm so scared. Since my best friend died, it's the hardest thing for me to do, yeah, while I went and I was like, you know what, I'm not going to think about like what this journey is going to be. The 10 million things that can happen. I'm just going to go rent a car and then drive all the way to Hollywood. Yeah. And I did it. You should have done this journey. I did. We did. I was alone. I walked on the beach. Oh, this recent tackle. I was like, that wasn't with me. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. And you were so fun. And yeah. And now I'm like, wow. You can do it. You can do it. So we can, you can do anything you put your mind to. Right. That's a fact. Right. But I also think different people have different success rates with that. Okay. I know I was terrified of the marathon. What didn't help was spending five hours scrolling on TikTok. And I remember sitting on TikTok going through run talk, seeing people's thoughts. At some point, I could have chosen to quiet that noise and not continue to scroll. But even that choice to say stop enough was hard for me to do. So I didn't. Until we got too much of my photometer, got so full that I had a whole panic attack about not doing this in the first place. I know I put that on myself. Right. And I can sometimes blame my anxiety and say, well, I have anxiety, so I'm really anxious about it. But I also have resources and tools that can help me limit that anxiety. So it's still manageable for me in that situation. Because now I did it. It was really hard. I know I can do it now. So the next time I do it, I have a benchmark of how well or how well I would perform because of what I've learned. But that initial jump to do it, of course, I was terrified. I think a lot of people do with that. So hopefully from this conversation today, you all just take. I think it was very important on this day that you felt supported. Yes. Do you feel supported? I did feel supported. Well, I think this was a very interesting experience for me because it was like a whirlwind to get to this point of support. And I'm still navigating, opening my mouth and asking for help and support, but also accepting it and having people show up to support me. Right. Because I think, again, some things about being able to potentially is because you're doing so many different things, who expect you to always be okay, to always necessarily not need help. And I find myself oftentimes having to remind people, I'm just a girl, you know what I mean? I really don't know what I'm doing half the time. I just know I also pretend pretty well. And I'm one of the biggest, like, figure to make it smile, never frown because you're going to figure it out. And I oftentimes find myself convincing people around me that I am not okay. So they realize I am not okay. Because I think for a lot of people in my life, my base point is Sophie's excellent, good, successful, great. That's it. Like no one ever looks and says like, there's something more beneath this, let's figure it out. So I'm learning now to actually open my mouth and talk and say, hey, this, yes, I am all those things too, but I'm also in need of help and support. I want to be taken care of, you know, I feel like big brain people deserve that too. And I remember at some point, this entire time, I was just like, you know what, I don't think I want signs. I don't think I want one in one here. It just wants to be me and Donald. And I was just telling my family here that there was one particular time during the race that I did not see them, like I just not see one person and I broke down. Like I was crying. I literally felt like a big one. Suddenly, Donald was like, they didn't even come and he's like, no, they're literally just done. And I think we're at 137th Street, Donald was like, no, but they're at 96. And I was like, they did six as far, like that's so far, I can't wait until then. I'm like, I literally had to have the mind to tell them to tell them to walk to one something. And that was how much I needed to see them to know I was okay. And what's funny is when I first started the race, I'm so glad I had you guys at mile, I think two and three. Because I was going to have them at mile eight because I just didn't think I was like, I'll be fine. That, immediately, I saw that, the signs, everything, that was my winning moment. It was like, there's these, these people who are here to support me, I would be, I would break a leg, no, I would not break a leg, but I would be darned if I decided to not finish this and approve to them, the like, their support was definitely like, well, you know, well done, basically. I think that's where I'm at now with support. I'm learning, and it's been this year too, I think I go to comment on TikTok the other day where someone says something about my masculine versus feminine energy and me having more of a feminine, feminine energy this year. And what that looks like is for folks, especially women who are very successful, they tend to attribute success to masculine energy. And so people around me didn't think I needed to be taken care of because I'm always in, essentially like leading and guiding and creating and processing and logically thinking and all that stuff, even like romantic relationships too. And this year I have been very adamant in sitting in that feminine energy, in that space where I'm saying, I do need help, I want this, I want the support, I want this and I want it to look a certain way. And I think that's changed a lot of my perspective and things and how people have also shown up for me. It's still hard. I think friendships always hard, romantic relationships always hard. I think life is hard with people trying to support you and so people just not knowing how, but I am very blessed to have had today go the way it did. I am so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, grateful. But I think I'm going to try to put videos and clips of my friends snapchat, like just even like going on snaps, my friends tracking me and telling me, oh, I see where you are, you're doing so well. I finally felt it. I have not, you're all this crazy to think about and it's so rare because my aunties listen to this right now, so it feels weird to say this. But something happened within like my family dynamic then where like for a good maybe three to five years, it was just me like winging it, right? This idea that like because I've chosen this path for myself, I couldn't fail because then everybody who thought negatively about me would be right, right? So it was a lot of isolation and building family out of friends, right? And like getting that support from family to the beginning, even like with my mom, you guys have heard the story a lot. And so I think now I am just so grateful that it feels like both both lives merged today for something that has changed my life forever. Like I can't walk right now because of this. I need to physically, it feels like I am forever changed by this experience because I know I can do hard things. I know there's so many other things in store, but I also know I would have never survived today if I didn't have my sort of like tribe with me. And now that I know that I am going to bother them even more and I'm going to dig into them even more and I'm going to ask for things more. I'm going to like not feel like I have to be the one who has to take care of everyone but also start asking for help when I need it. And I think it happened when I vlogged for a hundred days and I remember saying I want this and it happened to know I'm like, you know what? Close mouth don't get fed. So if you listen to this and you struggle or have similar like things going on with your friends or your family and stuff like that, close mouth don't get fed. Allow me. I'm learning that communicating your needs and wants to people is also pretty important and it's really helpful. And because they're not doing it doesn't mean they love you. It might just mean they just need some guidance and how to love you and how to care for you and you being able to tell them not and show them doesn't negate their feelings for you. I used to be that person who would tell people, oh why didn't they know like I want this or I want that. It's that woman wants to say, I wish you had done XYZ and now they know and vice versa all the time. Is that a good answer? Good answer. Thank you. Audience give a round of applause for the multiple potential. Thank you. You're so annoying. Well that is all you guys. Shout out to Donald for making me record this episode even though I am exhausted that is shade. You guys, I did it. I ran my first world major 26.2 miles. I am really proud. This is solid gold in my mind. This is dedicated to the odd fam but also to Donald because without Donald today wouldn't even happen and has gone as one of his did and everybody contributes how crazy and chaotic it was with like how it was executed. So shout out to Donald for showing up and supporting us today. We love you, Donald. The odd fam loves you and there's a lot of adventures in store like we have a really cool video coming out and the oddity tries which is a new show and concept is coming out soon. November 24th. Stay tuned. November 24th. We're just trying new things and new experiences and if you guys love it, you're going to stick around because there's a lot more in store over here at Casa Audity. I love you all so much. Thank you so much for listening to my podcast and forget to like, comment and subscribe to my podcast, YouTube channel. If you're listening to some Spotify, oh my God, you guys, we have like 22 ratings in Spotify. So I would love if you rated it more. Well, if you're going to rate it a negative rating and then to rate it, take it back. Take it back. Take it on. Only five stars because we have 25. It was like five stars, 25 reviews. I was like, oh my God. Stupid. Yes. So thank you so much. I simply adore you and I'll see you in my next episode. By the next episode, we would might potentially have a new president. Yes. Yes. On Wednesday? Yeah. No, this Wednesday, the next episode. Yeah. Right. This episode is coming out this Wednesday. No, I'm saying I'll buy our next episode. Yes. Which will be interesting to dive into. I love you all so much. Thank you for listening. We're going to have a new president. Shh. Come on. Bye guys. Come on. Don't lose.