GIRLHOOD - EP 07

Young girls growing up are taught really, really early to protect themselves and be really shy and quiet and that's why a lot of times we struggle a lot when we grow up with rejection with the idea that we can chase our dreams and we can believe it because we don't grow up with audacity. I wish I was taught how to handle rejection earlier. When I walk into spaces I either have cancer, alopecia, some sort of skin disease or sickness because I can't possibly choose to also know how to pair, limiting you instead of allowing you open up and be exactly who you want to be. Welcome to a mind to loud the podcast. Rolling, rolling, rolling down the river. Rolling, oh my god you guys I went to the Brooklyn Bridge so today's coaster is going to be the New York Brooklyn Bridge. I'm looking so much at no tea today because I want all the energy while we share something. I think today's topic is really fun or like today's conversation. I don't know. We'll see as we get into it. Are we ready to get started team on the count of three, two, one, go. What does that tick tock sound? I forgot. Are we ready to roll? Something wrong? Your face doesn't seem like it's like great. So I can be very supportive. Donald, where are you going? All right. Hey guys. Welcome to a mind to loud the podcast with Sophie aka the oddity. Oh you guys I am so excited to be back. I feel like I've not done one of the like sit down, let's talk conversations. I've been doing a lot of odd topic videos first and then I was like you know what I just want to chat with you guys because I was just feeling like very sentimental. The year is coming to a close. It's almost about to be 2025 and you guys I just want to let you know that 25 is my favorite number. I don't know if you know that 25 is my favorite number. I'll tell you my favorite number is 5, 2 and 25 and 50. I think 50 is a solid number, too. And I really feel like 25 is like a sexy number. That kind of number that like just shows richness and success and growth. So like when I turned 25 on the 25th of June, that's my birthday. It was like my golden birthday and my life changed. It was incredible. And so I feel like my life is going to change in 2025. That makes no sense for the talk of the podcast. I just wanted to share because I really like 25. And as I'm thinking about the end of 1024 and everything that has been accomplished this year. I was going through because I'm doing a video about the highlights of my year. And just was like led me to the moment I am right now. And one video particularly stood out to me. I'm going to insert here. It was a video that got me to 100,000 subscribers on YouTube on my vlog channel last year. And it's a video that I did about the Barbie. Y'all know Barbie. Barbie was crazy last year. And it was a video about like, you know, as a woman, you're told to, you know, fit in, to not do too much, to be sexy, but like to not too sexy, was it whole montage? And that video I think now, I have no idea how many million views it has. It went crazy viral. Like Violet Davis reposted it. And it was just like, it was the beginning of me being like, okay, there's still a lot of women until today will still feel so, so exhausted by society and the standard society has for us. And so I was like, you know what? I want to do a podcast episode on girlhood. And I don't think I can encapsulate what girlhood is in just one podcast episode. But I think we could do a little start because I think one of the biggest things for me, as I continue doing this like career that I'm in, is how many labels are put on me and how many restrictions I have on myself because I am a woman, right? And I'm not only just a woman, I am a black woman, okay. I'm just a black woman. I'm an African woman. I'm just an African woman. I am a 27 year old woman. And I keep going on and on and on. I'm a Muslim woman. Like there's so many layers to being a woman in my world. And I was like, you know what? I want to talk about it. So today's episode is going to be about girlhood. And we're going to start at the beginning. What does it actually even mean to be a girl now? This conversation can be so, so, so, so, so nuanced. But I'm going to be using girl very, very loosely to describe that age when you identify as a girl as a woman as you're navigating life growing up, okay. That is what I'm going to try to be using in this conversation. So where do I start from? Okay. You guys, I'm so excited for this episode. Are you ready, Donald? I feel like you're not focusing on my conversation. This is what happens, you guys, when you're filming with men. And once you're telling me you're going to be, you're going to be doing a podcast episode about girlhood. They zone out and they have no interest in listening to your conversation. Let me just say, I thought about this episode. You're very meticulous. Ultimately, I'm here to listen and learn. I like. Okay. What does it mean to be a girl? You guys, this is such an intense episode for me. Okay, let's start. What does it mean to be a girl? One of the biggest videos I've shaped in my life that I've actually never talked about online was I don't know if you know she's an incredible Nigerian author poet. It's an incredible, incredible pioneer for feminism. She had a TED talk called The Danger of a Single Story. And when I first listened to that TED talk, I can't remember how long ago it was, but I was living in Nigeria at the time. I listened to that TED talk. I would like to tell you a few personal stories about what I like to call the danger of the single story. I thought about this when I left Nigeria to go to university in the United States. I was 19. My American roommate was shocked by me. She asked where I had learned to speak English so well, and was confused when I said that Nigeria happened to have English as its official language. She asked if she could listen to what she called my tribal music, and was consequently very disappointed when I produced my tape of Mariah Carey. So after I had spent some years in the US as an African, I began to understand my roommate's response to me. If I had not grown up in Nigeria, and if all I knew about Africa were from popular images, I too would think that Africa was a place of beautiful landscapes, beautiful animals, and incomprehensible people fighting senseless wars, dying of poverty and AIDS, unable to speak for themselves, and waiting to be saved by a kind white foreigner. So that is how to create a single story. Show a people as one thing, as only one thing over and over again, and that is what they become. And when I tell you that TED talk is the reason I am the woman that I am today, because a lot of the things she told and talked about in there is as a woman growing up, you know, she came to America, having people tell you just one thing, putting you in a box, telling you the story, and then you having to figure out what your reality is. And she has so many incredible, incredible quotes from that TED talk. But one of the biggest things for me was taking away the idea that I am not one thing. Because I am a woman does not mean I am one thing. So I say that because as a child growing up, as girls growing up, we're constantly told who we are. We're told what to do. We're told how to behave, how to act. We're told you have to be careful. You have to sit properly. You have to be a lady. You have to crush your legs so you can't play with the boys. You can't play too rough. If the boy likes you, that's why he is pushing you and hurting you. You can't fight. You can as you can explore. And for the longest time, I always challenge the fact that young girls growing up are taught freely, really early to protect themselves and be really shy and quiet. And that's why a lot of times we struggle a lot when we grow up with rejection, with the idea that we can chase our dreams and we can believe it. Because we don't grow up with audacity. We're not taught audacity. We're not taught to grow up and be quick on our feet and be excited for life and to push and push. And do all these things because we are girls. And it's supposed to be a certain way. What do you think, Donald? I think it's true. Okay. Why do you think that? I think it's a little bit different. From growing up, I grew up in a house where the first child, my sister. Your sister is a different breed. That's the perspective. My perspective is there was no difference between how I was treated and how my sister was treated. I think she would argue against that vehemently. She would. She would. But in terms of she got opportunities to go to school, I have to go to school. Now, in terms of how my mom treated me. And how she shielded me away from some choice or responsibility. Cooking. Cooking was not on me. And a lot of times she would get blamed for things that I would do. Yeah. She was an elder sister. Exactly. She was also a whole different perspective on things. But I would say it is true, right? There are a lot of things that just like assigned to girls. Yeah. When they grew up. I was like, I was like, this is a tricky subject. No, I like to ask because I think in one of the episodes we talked about from the beginning, we talked about when we see kids outside playing. And you see a young girl playing versus a young boy playing. How you perceive that young girl versus a young boy is always different. Because boys are meant to be rough or like ambitious or seeking. And women are meant to be more timid and quiet and like less. Right? And like for me, for example, like this podcast being called Am I too loud? It's because a lot of women are oftentimes told when they're projecting, when they're acting a certain way, they're too much. But there's never that same energy given to like men in that situation. Unless they're like absolutely obnoxious. And like you could tell a guy who's like obnoxious versus like just existing. Like that CEO mentality with a woman. Kamala Harris running for president right now, right? And a lot of the critique against her is, oh yeah, we don't know how she is. Why does she behave that way? It's never the same critique when it comes to the male perspective. I want to pull up the video itself. Can you pull it up? Okay, we're going to watch it together. You're so pretty for a black girl. I like our men now, Cheryl. You look so masculine, having more feminine. You asking for it just like that? Gosh, you're so loud. I don't have the video I said, if anyone thinks because you can't win a fight, you're already lost. And I remember why I particularly use those words was because, as I was even like recording the video and I was writing like things out as a girl you were oftentimes told, it felt like a losing battle. Like it felt like at some point, everything, this is our reality and we just have to face it. Like there's no, there's no, there's nothing else. There's no argument to be made, because that's how society's already deemed us and there's nothing else we can do about it. May I ask you this question? Tell me. Do you feel... How do you feel about existence? How do I feel about here? How do I feel about existing as a girl? Exhausted. I'll give you an example. Something I've never seen before. I'll give you an example. Something I like to talk about a lot. When people ask me how I am mentally, how I do the things I do, I like to say, I wish I was taught how to handle rejection earlier. Because I think that would shape a lot of the things I struggle with today. And I think that's the biggest thing around even girlhood that always still said, I wish more woman face rejection. And what I mean by that is, I remember as a kid, men face a lot of rejection. And I think from the get go, like as a boy growing up, if you have a crush on a girl or something, you're told, if she says no, it's okay. Ask the other girl and then ask another girl. So you're raised really quickly to understand that when you get a no, you can also get a yes later on. So you grow up with that kind of audacity that, you know what, I'm going to ask again, I'm going to do this. A lot of men face that no. Now, this is a generalization because there's some guys who just, hey, it's not. Okay, never mind. I was trying to be like, I have to work. Okay. I was trying to be like, you know, trying to be 50-50 about it. What really is a lot of young boys grow up learning rejection quickly. That's why you apply, when they're applying to jobs, when they're applying, when you're seeking things, opportunities and entrepreneurship, there is no fear as much because the audacity has always been there. It's the inner duo they don't. For women from the beginning, you're two, three years old. You have a crush on a boy and he doesn't like you. You're like, oh, it's because you're not pretty enough. It's because the other girl is prettier. Always because, you know, your family doesn't do this. So you didn't wear the right dress. Your boobs haven't come in yet. Or this and that. Like there's so many things about you that they will say about you that will make you feel less than because of another person's choice. And as a young girl, you hear that over and over and over again. We see that when women are chasing the same careers as men that a lot of girls shrank themselves, trying to make themselves smaller for everybody else. And I think that is one of the biggest things that like frustrates me about being a girl. That's why exhausting a lot of times. I wish in a weird fucked up way that we were taught rejection early. I wish we were taught to enjoy life, to like explore different things, to make mistakes, and now feel like our mistakes are as slight on society, and our slight on our families and stuff, versus like a man's ability to just simply exist. I have a story. Okay. Tell us stories. So I was in my senior year. Oh, my school. Okay. Or it's an old boy's school. Okay. So I've never had a girlfriend, nothing like this. And this is good. I like speaking for like this fun fair, because when we do the fun fair, we would have like the girl school, when we child college, coming to us. Yeah. So this girl comes, and we have this like one hour when we always dance, we don't feel like, look, all the relevant teachers, nobody comes in, and you get it. That's a reverent teacher. Dancing, grinding, all of a sudden. Yeah. So, Valentine's Day is coming up. Okay. I say all my pocket money, but I need to give you a lot of money. Say about my pocket money. Give it to you. Which mantis? To buy like flowers and all those things for this girl, to ask her to be my Valentine. I send her to her, and I never heard that. So today, I have no idea. What if it got lost? No, it got to her. I know it got to her. But I have no idea. If, I say that to say it's like, when you said, men suffer a lot of rejections. Yeah. I think rejection is like expected. Yeah. You grew up. But I also see like, even in like, my relationship. Yeah. Right. I see how the slightest rejection affects my girlfriend. It's like, she cannot imagine why like, in no, could possibly be an answer. Yeah. But it's interesting. Yeah. I think it is like, the word no, especially it relates to like, our being. It just feels very aggressive. Because that means it's a slight on us. And I think that's why, even with the Barbie movie, when we're talking about womanhood, think about currently in America, there's an interview I was watching. I think it was Kamala Harris and someone else. And the question was, or she asked the senator, how many laws are there in the world? That govern men's bodies. Well, zero. There are none. Well, there are so many laws that govern women's bodies. And what we are, and how we act, what we do. Like, even this beauty standard, it's all these stuff. There's so many things, about being a woman that is literally exhausting. Me not having hair, is in itself a story. Like, when I walk into spaces, I either have cancer, alopecia, some sort of skin disease or sickness, because I can't possibly choose to also not have hair. That has to be a slight on me. I've had men tell me, oh, would I ever grow it back? Because then they might be interested. I've had men tell me, oh, I prefer you with hair. You look a bit too masculine. On my own body, like, the sort of audacity that that takes to feel ownership over a person is insane to me. Like, I even, on the conversation of equality and equity and feminism, this podcast is going to go, this episode is going to go in so many different directions, again, cannot be like one, like, it can't be a full succinct, like, thing. I just wanted to talk about this, because even thinking about feminism and equality, it's so hard to literally tell men, we just want to be treated equitable. I don't even say equality anymore. I just say equitable, because a society that has constantly put you down, there is no expectation of equality. There can never be. But equity is something we can all achieve, right? It's the idea that, if we are on a playing field, even if... I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Okay. I'm kidding. Okay. Are we done? Yeah. Even if we're on a playing field. Like, even if we're on the same level playing field, the man in society right now is never equal to a one. Like, if we're on the same turf, same green grass, and you have a man and a woman standing right beside each other, they're not equal to each other. And now, to make them equitable is when different things have to come into play. It's like the strength and, like, education and who has done this, and in order to make it all equitable, but never equal. I don't think it's possible, especially in today's day and age. I think that's what is even more exhausting, I don't think there's anything we as women can do, except for constantly talk about it, and feel like, oh, are you listening? Because even when I tell you, I'm listening right now, I have like 95% of my viewers are women, right? They can relate to this, feeling exhausted, feeling like they can't do this, they can't do that, they can't behave this way. There's so much mental gymnastics about just being a woman. And you just see guys like, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. And it's like, I'm like, I envy that. I wish... I wish more women had the... I don't want to use a word that might take it away. Had the audacity to feel like our male counterparts could. I hear you. I agree, but also disagree. Tell me. But I think... I want to make sure like, I'm not speaking from just my experiences alone. Okay. Right, because I'm fortunate to be around a lot of women that have audacity. Yes. This is not one, it's not two. Yes. You've done all this around a lot of women. Right? A lot of women. A lot. Yeah. You know what I mean? So my perspective is like, very different. Okay. But, there's something you said about, like, men. Yes. So you said, well, men having the freedom. Yes. And the audacity. Yes. I don't think that's true, too. Tell me why. I think, and this is a problem with the conversation, right? I feel like there's this thing where the popular conversation is that, like, men have audacity women, though. Okay. But when you actually look at the foundation and what is actually happening in the home. Yeah. It's like, the fact that women can even push out a baby. That's the level of audacity that a man can all have. Yeah. Driven some of me like, but do you understand that she can only do that in biological terms because of the man? So the power dynamic is already different. Okay. Okay. So what I mean is I think about it. Even like, bringing up the biological clock for a woman. You're raised to, this is what my mother is set to me. What I believe, until your life on that. He has no way you're not gonna have kids, right? And you're already, your time is, it's crazy, it's crazy to see your kids, right? Your time is running. Like you have a 27 to 35, ooh, it's getting a bit late now. You need to, where are those eggs? How are you doing? What's going on, where's the man? Where's the husband? Time the clock is ticking. A man could be 50 years old chilling. Pop belly out, slinging around, go into the clubs, the bars, because that clock is in there. Now, I think whenever they call it the biological clock, that's interesting to me, right? Because women see that as like a countdown. So even that power dynamic is still there, right? Like, and if I was a woman from like, you know what, I don't wanna pour into that dynamic. So I'm gonna, you know, haps, keep my eggs, use a sperm donor, get pregnant whenever I want to. That in this self-society frowns on. How dare you not get married? How dare you not have a man? How dare you not be able to keep a man? How dare you, so we're still? I don't think it's a how dare you, or is it a... It's unfortunate. No, no, fortunate kind of like a, they don't understand it. Yes. Right? Yes. But is it, it is still an out dare you. It's an idea that like, when you're not, when you're the oddity. Well, yeah, an oddity in different situations. People are, excuse me, people are gonna ask you that. People are gonna think you're different for that reason. Like I think I like to always bring up Tracy Ellis Ross when I talk about like the different types of like, women that exist, right? And her like sharing how much like, she's a great auntie, she doesn't wanna settle down. Maybe she wanted, she's looking for the love of her life and she's like, patient about it. And the comments every time are like, when she's gonna find a man, what's going on with her. That's one of the most successful actresses in the world. And they, that's still a conversation she has to talk about, you know what I mean? So like, it's exhausting, girl. Like people like whoopee. Whoopee Goldberg is a big example of that too, right? Yeah, that's so interesting. That would back a little bit to how that affects the girl growing up. Right? A lot of this stand is because take my other sister for example. Yeah. She's 32. Mm-hmm. From what she has told me, she doesn't kind of have any children. Yeah. Right? It's not, this is not something that like feels, knowing her, I get it. I understand. It makes sense. Alea, you offer context, love, love, love to those older sisters, she's an icon, she's a fucking legend. Like, she is the epitome of, like, bad bitury and she doesn't so effortlessly enquiringly. She's so cool. She reminds me of, like, a scandal. Like, what's her name? Olivia Polot. Yeah, that's like the energy she gives. And she has, like, a whole library of books and she reads and she smart. So I'm like, ooh, let me talk about this. And this is something about me that also questioning a lot is when I saw her and I saw what she read, how she moved, how she acted, I literally said, I don't know if she's ever going to want to get married. Right? But I subconsciously set that and I have to sit with myself and ask myself, why? Why did I see an educated black woman who is iconic, absolutely beautiful? Body on T, sorry. Body on T, sorry. Like body go crazy, attractive, reads a lot, hard working, has her own place. She's so, like she's a full on package and I remember meeting her, seeing her energy, loving her and going, I don't know if I can see her getting married or having kids. And when I thought that, I have to sit down with myself and go, why did I see that? Why do I see an educated woman like that and think, how could she possibly choose to marry a man? And is there going to be a man who's going to measure up to the kind of woman she is to take care of her? I don't know. So, it's interesting, right? Because from my perspective growing up in my sister, I have always thought that the guy who gets to marry her, he's going to be so lucky. He has to be a unicorn. Exactly. But I think why is it that I can see that? Because what you just said, I never thought about it like that. Really? So, what happens in that teenage growing up years, that makes you be able to see that, right? Girl, it is so interesting. It's so, I'm smiling because being a girl is so hard. If you're a girl, listen to this, please comment all the thoughts about everything we're talking about you guys because as a child growing up, as a young girl, you hear different things. We talked about this earlier in the episode. You're told you have to behave a certain way. Some are told you can be really, really smart. You can go to school, get good grades, be a successful as you want to be. For the majority of young girls, especially if I'm looking at young African girls, you're told you need to learn how to cook, you need to learn how to clean. And then once you're done, you need to make sure you go to find a good husband. You got to marry, have kids settle down. That's the idea, settle down. You got to settle down, right? And if you're already moving where like maybe you're dating or you're talking to boys, oh, you're, you're, oh, you're a slut, you're this, you're that, you're not, no man is going to like you. I remember when I cut my hair and my mom was like, who's going to marry me now? When I started posting videos online, who's going to marry me now? Like you're doing too much for a man's attention. So it feels like you're growing up, like Barbie, you're growing up, you're being told you have to behave in these certain ways. So you're prepared and ready for any man to just pick you up and say, okay, it's your turn. I pick you, let's build a family and then the family is yours. You go take care of it. And as a young, I love that now. It's not, it's not as harsh as when we were growing up, right? I see young girls now who are dreaming big. Like Kamala Harris is going to be the next female president. Like the first female president of America. So see a woman in that position of power. Mind blowing to me. I'm excited for that. I'm itching for that. I'm ready for it, right? And so now young women can see that that is a possibility. But for the longest time, we couldn't. I know women now who are like, oh, women are too emotional. But that's the thing. Those are the things you hear as a child. You hear your too emotional. You hear, if you're pretty, you're too pretty to do certain things, you know, if you're like, so many things are like limiting you instead of allowing you open up and be exactly who you want to be. So even like thinking about it and flipping it, everything is about girlhood. A lot of the time when we look at boyhood, right? How boys are raised. There is not as much thoughts and intention into how can I make this man be the best kind of boy or man for himself in society? I saw something yesterday. Tell me what you saw. Someone said men or boys. Yeah. I not thought how to be boys. They're taught how to not to be women. Oh, that's an interesting take. Men are taught how to not be women. Okay. So I was at a friend's house the other time and we were talking about feminism, right? And this is someone who I love and admire. I love it admire. And he was like, I'm not a feminist. I said, why? He said, because feminists like they just loud women and they just always so shouting and they're always doing this. And I just don't accept what they say. I said, what did they say? I couldn't ask everybody. I said, no, what did they say? Like, what do feminists say? And I was like, from what I know, feminism is women fighting for equality and equity. That's it. On the ground at the base level, it's equality and equity for all. Women want to be equal to men and equitable with regards to men. So the same pay, same opportunities, everything, right? I don't want to have to ask my husband's permission to travel. What? Like, I don't want to have, I don't so much, right? And when we're talking about that, he said, well, you know, as a man, I am supposed to do certain things. I said, who told you that? Like, who says you're supposed to do anything? And he's like society. I said, who's society? And so our biggest argument there was we all say society. So I always ask people. And I want you all to write in the comments if you're listening to this anywhere. Who do you think society is? When we talk about this idea of what society, like society says, women should be this. Society says men should be this. Who is this society? Because I think society is made up of us. And we change society. So at some point, if men decide, oh, we want to be better for ourselves, men can. I have a friend who else, I'm telling my friends, they knew they didn't know what is not a podcast of this reason. But I have a friend who's married. And I remember when she got married, if there was anything going on with her, she would call me and would do like a friend debrief. Like she'll talk it out. She's better. Her and her husband addressed it. She's good. And the one that asked her husband, like, who do you talk to? And he's like, what do I mean? I'm like, yeah, like about like, if you're ever feeling like you need a space to like vent about what you're going through, who do you talk to as a man? And he said, well, I talked to anybody. What do you mean? What do you mean? Who would you talk to as a man? Anybody, anybody in this particular situation? And I think that's also interesting because women, we need because of the way society is society. What's the way we've existed in society? Oh my god, the wind is... Can I just say, I knew this was going to happen. What? The winds. A windy day? What I was going to say. Oh my god, I love it. Fighting against society. Oh my god. The category 5. Don't joke about that. You're going to get cancel bitch. So I was talking to him about what it means, what it means to not have that support system. And I brought that up to my friend, the other one who was talking about not being a feminist. And I said, you know, he was like, oh, well, if I complain to my wife about how I'm feeling or what's going on with me, she would laugh at me or she's not going to be supportive. And I said, well then, why don't you talk to your guys? He said, well, would I do that? And I'm like, because you need a support system. Everybody does. And a lot of men don't have support systems. You lost my wife who got that. No, because I agree, right? Yeah. A lot of men don't have support systems. I think for me, when I was younger, like 20 to 25, I struggled a lot with talking to people. You went to an all-boys school. Shouldn't I even have built more like better relationships with the boys? Yes. Yes. It comes from me. I see myself as the guy who is always helping with my clients because I see that. And because I know how they wouldn't open up to do that, what they're not able to do it for me. How was it? Was it because of your sister that you felt you were empathetic? Is it just you as like your chemical imbalance? I think it's I think it's my sister's. Yeah. Yeah. I think my sister's. I was throwing shade about the chemical imbalance. You didn't get it. I have chemical imbalance. What? This is just an audio or a grocery bag. But I think the women that have been in my life since, you know, I was a teenager. Yeah. My early 20s to now, he really thought how to just like just be vocal, you know. And I think like for me, I've been in a relationship for four years and a lot of my things that I wouldn't want to say. Well, I think that I would want to say, right? I say them straight to, and you see this conversation, right? I guess really deep because what are the things that's to understand men, you know, say more? Which to understand what are the things that men care about, right? Because it's societal blockers that we have. Yeah. Money. Yeah. It's career. Yeah. Oh, let's talk about that. So growing up, right? A man is a man's worth is oftentimes calculated by money, financial success a lot of the times because the idea is the man is the provider. And then for the woman, the goal is how can you be the most well-rounded individual to balance that out, right? Well, my push is what would happen in the world where women and men are able to both understand that the need to be both a provider and also the well-rounded individual with emotional awareness, with the cooking and the cleaning and the support and stuff like that. Because what happens is life is a lot more balanced. This partnership involved in places where there's really no partnership to begin with. So much going on. Okay, guys. So basically, when it's going crazy, and it's the first time I actually shoot in the podcast with the with the women, this month is crazy. Well, basically, yeah, what we're trying to say is men have the financial sort of like push, right? Compress a woman in this like landscape in life. And it's so easy for men to move in that way versus women. And I think that's my biggest issues. I wonder what could happen if we just decided a society when you're raising one. I think a lot of our generation now is doing that, right? When you raise a child in general, not because they're a girl or a boy, you just give them the same opportunity. So they're like, oh, if you're interested in X, Y and Z, do it. If you want to think about your career and do it, like that is what the standard should and always should be, right? Yeah. I think I think we're going to get there. Yeah, because like, yo, like, I would give my parents one thing. Yeah. Is the way they trusted us equally. Right? It's like, yeah, anything we wanted to do, right? I said, I want to study film. They're like, do it. Yeah. Yeah. You know, my sister said, she wanted to be a pharmacist, public health, sure. Do it. Yeah. And I think like we are generations becoming we're more open minded to stuff like this. And I think the changes is coming. Yeah. I think so. I think the girlhood conversation is one that wouldn't end in this episode. I think there's so many more nuances to it. Like the beauty standard and what that looks like with social media and so much more. That we'll be getting to in another episode because y'all know I like to yap and I'm fluent in the Japanese. So we'll see you in our next video.