Do Men Even Like Women? Friendship, Exes & Body Counts - Ep 36

Welcome to Am I Too Loud The Podcast. Donald? I think most men hate women. You think the most men hate women? Yes. I don't agree. What? I just have my time. It's my opinion. It's my podcast. Hey all the way out. Welcome back to The Mind The Loud The Podcast. And my favorite person in the entire fucking world, Donald. Welcome back. What's in your forehead? Hold on. Close. No, don't squeeze it. Ew. What is that? What's that? White? Yeah. What's that? Actually don't know. Don't lick it. Don't know. Hey, poor fam. Hey guys. Welcome back to The Mind The Loud The Podcast. I've missed Donald. I've not seen you in so long. Did you miss me? Oh fuck off. No, I did. I did. It's been what? It's been a while. So I saw Donald briefly. I literally came to New York when I went to London. So I left in June, July. And then I went to London for a month and a half ish. And then I literally landed from New York, saw you the next day. And then I was back on the road. And then I finally, finally I'm seeing you again since that trip today. And I just want to say when I first saw you, you weren't really excited to see me. And I really was offended by that. I really was. That's not true. I was excited. No, because the last time you saw me when I first came from London, you were like, eh, I fell on the floor. No, I think that was different. That one you had just come. I've seen you, Donald. Because I saw you when I came to pick up something. No, it wasn't the same time. You didn't pick up anything. The time when I saw you in front of the elevator, when was that? That was the last time. Really? Yeah. No, it's been twice. It has been twice. Anyways. Hey guys, welcome back to The Podcast. Um, you guys have been asking for Donald. Um, and so here is in the flesh. If you are new here, Donald is one of my really, really good friends. He's a producer on the podcast, but he's also the creative head creative headhunt show and charge of his own agency and creative agency called ARC, which stands for a random creative, because he's hella random. Um, but don't know why you actually so calm. It's because of the red wine we're drinking. No, because remember like this is how like my demeanor starts. No, it's normal. I also have a bone to pick with you though. You have a bone to pick with. We have one to pick. What is it? You really don't know. You left me here in America. Oh, please. No, but think about it though. Think about what? We went from seeing each other. I don't like it. Can we face the camera? No, I think this is also like really weird. We're very close. Because like we never do like one camera. Yeah. We always do like yes. So this is and like because I know how the guests like are in this position. Mm-hmm. I feel like I'm a guest right now. You are a guest. And I think I did dynamic. It's a bit different because nothing is like the office by me. I know what's going on. You have the headphones on. Yes. No, I can't hear anything. I'm just like. Yes. But let's talk about how you left me. Okay. You left me here in America. I did. We went from seeing each other damn near like almost every day. To you just like picking up and I knew this was going to happen. Okay. I just didn't know how it was going to feel. How did it feel? Did you miss me? Yeah. Really? Yeah. Oh, I did miss you. You're mine. If you're seeing this on social. I didn't miss you. I missed you. I missed you. I missed you. She started this episode with saying that like man goki hates women. No, because we have a lot of things to cover. Because it's been like our FYPs are pretty similar. So we're going to yap a lot about different things. But I really missed you. And guys everyone was asking like literally I was in London. And folks would be like oh my god. How's like your creative person? How's Donald? Like people who use actually is like oh, how's Donald? And I was like why are they asking me about how Donald is? I forget that like we do this podcast thing together. So they probably know me from why are you breathing so heavy to the fucking mic? Well, that's just going to hear it. I can cut that. How's it going to be acting so calm? What is going on? I don't know. I don't know what's about to happen. I'm a guest right now. Right? I'm going to be like a guest and she's going to act all brand new and shit. I'm not acting brand new. Yes, you are. I'm just emotional. Why are you emotional? Just emotional. It's like you to realize this, right? When we started on my too loud, right? When we started on my too loud. Because episode 36. 36. I was behind the camera, right? And then that evolved to me being on the camera. And we're doing this show week in week out. Yeah. And then you left. No. It's been the longest we've ever been apart. Yes. Really? Yes. Oh, it has been. We fought before. We fought before. We fought before. We don't talk for like three months. But this is like intentionally. Not speaking. We were not in the same place. Oh, yes. Sorry. But what I'm trying to say is this is me being here right now. It feels emotional for me. Because we've done so much. I've seen you do so good with the part. So if you're taking the part to another level. I hope you guys understand the amount of the education that she puts into the show to bring this episode. Because bringing that episode like everything we're traveling. Yes, a lot. I feel like fucking up too. Because like there are times I was supposed to record. And I just couldn't find the studio or place to record. I didn't bring the lighting. So like it was really dark and I couldn't record. Or like I would forget to fucking hit record at like the best. Like I would be 30 minutes into an episode. And I'll be like Donald. I didn't fucking hit record. And he's like Sophie. But I think you're used to me. I feel like you me. You have such a rapport. You guys me. I don't really think we're connected. And I think we're like the poster child for like platonic relationships. Because like, why are you smart? No, so like you keep you said we think. I don't I like. Let's do the thing. Okay. I'm thinking of something and you were thinking of something. It was to say at the same time when I count down three to one go. Okay. When I say go, you say it. I'm thinking of a word. We're connected. We're really close. Okay. I messed this up. Okay. Three. Three. Two. One. Sex. No. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. I'm going to different word. No. We have to find a word in common from what we just said. Okay. So what is something you think I would say that's connected to podcast and sex. Don't know. This is easy. If you know me, you should know this podcast sex. If you've not seen this game on tick-tock. No. Okay, basically, it's like both of you supposed to think of the same word and connect it. So what's the connecting word for podcasts and sex? Am I slitting this wrong? Probably. It's good. Ready? The podcast sex. Three, two, one, go. The activation. No, it ain't got. I see what you did there. You see? I see what you did there. Okay. Now you say it loud. I say masturbation. Okay. I say masturbation, you say loud. Okay. We have to find a word. We're failing already. That's hard. Okay. Three, two, one, go. Podcast. Don't know. Okay. Do you notice how like, no, no, no, no, no. You notice what just happened. We went back to the beginning. I always do. You just start. You say podcasts. I said sex. That is true. That is always where connected. Okay. Three, two, one, go. New York. Okay. Okay. Okay. So if we knew you're Donald, three, two, one, apartment. It's done. I was going to say, I was going to say influencer. I was going to say influencer. It's the last time. We have to get this or nothing. I'm going to get it because I hope this is easy. Okay. Three, two, one, rent. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. No, that's good. That's good. That's good. Who are we going? I was very nervous for a second, Donald. I was very nervous. You were scaring me, man. But yeah, friends, you have chills, don't you? We're so connected. Okay. Okay. Okay. Well, yeah, guys. So we're really connected. We're like, we're the post-and-child for platonic relationships. Like, look at how easy it was. We're going to ignore the first half of the entire game. And focus on the fuck that we just got that in like two tries. Yeah. But yeah, I definitely left. And everybody kept saying how much they loved Donald. And I appreciate you so much. And you kept everything moving. Like, don't is the one who edits the podcast. You're like, my little, like, little is crazy. But I want to say, like, do you miss me when I'm not around? I just want to say that, yes, I know you have a partner. And yes, I know I have a partner too. But I do feel like there's sometimes when I just feel disconnected from you. Really? Like, you mean like even when you're around? Yes. Huh. I feel like we don't actually like build into our friendship. I think we're very much work focused. And I think I want to change that. And I feel like this was a good opportunity to bring that up right now. Well, that's an ambush. I say. Not really though. It was planned. I would. I would say that we're similar. We're very similar. Okay. And I think we're too similar. They're like, for example, I'm someone who like I love isolation. You also love isolation. I do. Which is crazy. Because we don't think that. But like when you love isolation, you don't isolate together. That doesn't mean we actually don't know how to do that. We don't. If we put what it was in the room. We know objective. We're going to find out. Yeah. We're going to be like, yeah, something to do. I feel like, okay, we need to give each other. Do you think we have partners? Because you guys, your girl has a partner. Whatever. I'm going to say to everybody knows. Uh-huh. But do you think we have partners that like fill that gap for us? Like, because I think for out this is like leaving for an honest. And people always like want to ship us. Like, guys, we can't. I don't know. Okay. Right. I think yes. Right. I think yes. And I don't think like. They are very similar to us as people. No. Very, very different people. And I think. But do you think that means like opposites attract or similar? Like similar people attract. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So. Like a similar people attract. I think. I think contrast is the word. Because I wouldn't say opposites. Okay. Cause like, with me on my part, I can tell how like, we're similar. Yeah. But we complement each other. Mm-hmm. Right. So that contrast is there. I think with both of us were too similar. Too similar. We're actually like the same person. Like, because... And I think that's one thing with me in relationships. Like, I've always made sure. And one thing I've always looked for is. is someone who like understands me 100% cause obviously we were close, right? But we're not with each other like 24-7. And I know parts of me that like would frustrate the living day like. Guys, don't shave and push the shaving thing. I wasn't even talking about that. Oh, I'm trying to learn how to listen and they're not interrupting. So I do a good job with that. I can't pause. Okay, so what is one thing about me that you just cannot stand and I'll tell you something about you that I can't stand. Oh, one thing about you that I can't stand? Yeah, that like it's just like a friend thing that you just have to accept. Ooh, you're very impatient. I am. Yeah, you're very impatient. Okay, and that's it. I don't think it's a bad thing. It's like, it's also part of your strengths. And I do this thing to where I see it. Like when I say strength, it's like, you know, cause you have to make sure she feels good. After like, nobody's sure that you're very impatient. I am very impatient. In a good way though. She's okay, I get it. Like in patients, it's not really good to, it's done. No, it is done. It could be. It's not. Okay, it's not done. They okay then. I would say you can be easily persuaded. Oh, yes. Yeah, I think that's like the one thing. Like, don't go and have like, if don't speak to one person, he can dive into that person and they can be assimilated and be together for three months and then three months is a stretch. Two weeks. Yeah, three weeks is such. And then two weeks after that, he's onto something else. He don't know how to read a book. And then he's that book for like five weeks. And then after that book, he's found another book. Right now I'm using to fail. For no reason. And then I'm telling you this before Fela was Hamilton. And before Hamilton was wicked soundtrack. And before the wicked soundtrack was what else? The great, the great, the good, the good. This is, we just. One of the time. No. Don't put it down. But so yeah, I think like, why are you staring at me like that? You need to know, look at the camera. You know, actually, we never like, I get so close. I don't know. I don't like it. It's so vexed to me. I don't know if I all the time for the craziest reasons. But I missed you though. I missed our band time. I missed our good times. I feel like you're like my family when I'm not. Like here is my family. You're also my address. So when am I? Yeah. It was interesting. I think watching you kind of just like, because we plan on going together. We did. OK, let's talk you guys the story of this. Yes, we plan on going together. And I think I was at first nervous, because I felt like I kind of just, when it wasn't up to my, you know, I felt like I was like, damn. How is she going to handle this by herself? The rules. I can't exist without you. No, but you need to remember. I actually like care about you. Oh, sorry. No, I do actually care, right? And like, you know, like a sister to me. So like, I'm like, I want to be there. Like I want to be like, oh, you know, what are you trying to achieve or what are you trying to do? Like let's figure it out. But it was great because I think I was able to do that for my far to some extent. I wouldn't say that. Let me not give you credit for that. Yeah, I mean, like, I would say that for the podcast. No. It's OK. It's OK. Guys, that's how people know what friends, because that's how I behave with my friends. But I was able to do that for my far. And I think like, that was really cool to me, because I was just so nervous and that thing that showed the strength in how we're like relationship. It really did. I feel like. And we need to talk a lot. Yes, we did. No, I'm not a lot. Don't know. Do you know many times we talk on it? No, I feel like that's usually for work stuff and in person things that we're planning to do. Like, if I'm seeing you next week, I'm going to call you five times today to ask you about stuff about things we're planning. That's true. At least we spoke three times a week. Yes. Right? Of course. At the minimum. And those three times were like long. Long. And then if I was ever going through traumatic stuff, I would definitely call you some fans about it. So I feel like we still like maintain our relationship in a far away. Minds you guys, my friends are so traumatic, because I was only gone for a month and two, like, three days, maybe two months. Because you all are so used to me being up your asses 24-7. And I think that was always different. That wasn't up your ass 24-7? Yeah. So if you call it, you're like, oh, what are you doing? Yeah. Right? And most times, it's not necessarily like, I'm an over-communicator. Right, which is, that's what we're used to. Yeah. So when you go out, like, in the world, and you're like, you're in Scotland, you're not hostile. And I was active with, like, not on my phone. Yeah. Which is weird for me too. It was needed for you. It was. I think, I don't know. I feel like I've, do you think of changed? I think you've evolved. Ooh, English. No, I think you have, though. Anyway. I think from afar, I think you have a sense of peace that, like, I don't think you've reached there. I can see you like figuring it out. Figuring it out. It's so crazy, because I cried today. I didn't tell you this. I actually didn't call you. I cried out of a whole breakdown. Like, I just deleted it. I didn't save it on my phone, thankfully. But like, I was emotional today, because I was in the Uber. I just gone to buy some stuff for a fashion week. And I was just so overwhelmed I was crying. And I was like, I just don't want to be in New York right now. Like, I don't want to be here. I want to be doing new experiences. I just, this space to me just doesn't feel like, I just, it just doesn't feel like what I want to be doing. But it also feels like what I have to do in the moment to get to where I need to go. You need to go, right? Yeah, because I feel like when I was on these trips, I was running away from something. Right. But I'm still not sure what I think I'm running away from is. And I'm still trying to figure it out. Do you have any clues since you're my friend? Actually, we didn't know plans to talk about this, but now we're yapping about it. I don't know. I think New York can be very toxic. Yeah, right? Without explaining for that, as someone who, like, currently, because of work and other stuff is tied to this place, I think I know exactly what you feel. And I think not that you even tasted freedom. Yeah, you know, I want to say even call you freedom. It's just like New York is very routine, you know? And also, like, the scene here, you've been in it for a while. It just gets old. Because I was thinking about it. I was like, and this is not an knock to anybody here who does the business, but the dreams I have for myself require me to constantly evolve and gain more experiences. And the way New York is set up, and people can argue with me and say, I can live anywhere else, but there's no place like New York. So, like, I can say this while still saying, I am not the happiest here. I think my dream is to, like, get a house in somewhere around the New York area, not necessarily New York City. Yeah. Could be anywhere in New York State or Jersey or Philadelphia or anywhere else. And, like, build a studio, start acting, doing all these things. Now, I understand when actors are like, oh, they want to get a farmland in some hitting country. Like, no, I see why Dave Chappelle does not live in L.A. And this is like, okay, Ohio. I was friend on Instagram, Terri and Delaney Smith, who is, she got a countryside manner, 600 year old or 800 year old manner in New York, that she's staying at now. She's renovating with her husband. And then she comes into the city to do work and go, because not to knock anybody off, but like, there's a certain level of, there's an air of audacity. You need to have to be a New York City influencer or creator. But you need to be off your ass in the most positive way. Like, you need to own the shit. Like, you need to wake up in the morning and say, I would say you need to be sick in the head. Yeah, but in a good way, yeah, yeah. You need to, like, I just envy them. Like, envy the creators who wake up every morning. And like, no, have this idea of like, I'm the shit. And I'm going to record this thing because people need to see what I'm up to. I'm still working my way towards understanding that that's my reality. And I think sometimes I forget that, that could be my reality. Like, I think if I, if I moved around the world, like, I'm the motherfucking Audity, which I do. But there's a little essence of like, Sophie is still a person outside of social media and audit, like, the commercials we're having right now, don't feel like I'm putting on an act or I'm acting. Right, right. It generally feels like me and my friend are sitting on a couch having a conversation. Well, there's a flip side of it is in a different universe or a world where if we're having a podcast, we're doing it for the views, for the likes, for the validation, for different other things that would make us even more successful. But if we fed into that rat race, if that makes sense. I think New York, sometimes reminds me that I am not running the rat race fast enough. Tell me that's not a fucking bar. There it is. No, you didn't react the way I'm doing. No, it is, it is, I'm, what you're saying is so philosophical. Right? No, it is because. I'm really excited for that one. No, it is. I know it's going to say it again that you react properly. Yes, yes. I just feel like with New York, I'm like, is a rat race happening and I'm not running fast enough in that rat race. That's a bar. That's not how you respond to that. That's who you're saying it, and now I'm going to respond. OK. So in New York, it feels like you're in a rat race. But I also feel like I'm not running fast enough. No, oh, crazy. Too bad. Well, the thing you're talking about with New York, this might make no sense. What I'm about to say is because you're trying to respond to my own fault. No, no, no, no, it might make no sense. You have to own my own fault. I'm thinking about this moment, right? The moment of us having this conversation recording in front of the mic, this is an element of an example of something that we want to do, right? Wait, it doesn't feel like you're in the scene. Obviously, we're taping for a show. Yeah. This is a show. It is a show. As you guys are watching us. But it's just like cash. It's casual. OK, cash is crazy. And I think, it sounds like you know I'm tempted. But I think the element of looking at what's going on in the scene in New York or what we think is the scene. But also thinking about a lot of the creators that we watch that we admire and how they just like focus on doing their thing. And we're like obsessed with the fact that they just exist in their world, but they're successful. And that's what we're chasing, right? That's what we want. When different spaces. But it's hard because it's like, obviously, you have the financial and all the things in the current moments that is pulling you to be like, no, I need to show up in like a fashion week. I need to show up in all these places. But if you actually pay attention to your heart, you see that like the places you're being drawn to is the future. And then I think about like, what exactly is the future? Because yes, we can see people being successful doing fashion week today. Well, five years from now, the entire conversation can be different. And then you think about the things that you did today of like traveling and stuff. And you're like, oh, in a sense, why did those things? Because now they're working. Because it was crazy. I've always not enjoyed New York Fashion Week, right? But I think it's because I know that when I do want to participate in New York Fashion Week, I wanted to make sense to me and my brand. You've always said that. From the beginning, but I also still find myself going to the shows because it feels like I need to do it because it's happening, right? But a part of me sometimes isn't happy with myself for letting my inner creative win. So in my head, I'm like, OK, those I'm talking about and I talk about this in the last episode. I went to a Penderer event and my head I was like, OK, Penderer, I've been collecting charm places blah, blah, I can't speak. For Penderer, I've been collecting charm places. And I'm like, oh, I want to keep traveling and doing experiences. I wonder what it would have looked like if I kept documenting these intentionally on YouTube, on the podcast, everywhere else. And then maybe next year, I actually have a talisman with Penderer that comes out. The Penderer invites me to Fashion Week to meet with other creators to talk about it. Or if I've been working so hard on my body and my physique on my health, and there's a show where I can walk with brands like Coach, store whitesmen, Kate Spade, Delta had a thing. You know, I mean, how can I use my impact on my personality to be in these rooms, but on my own terms. And my manager hates, she's probably going to hate them even talking about this on the podcast because she's always like, so if you just need to either play the game or understand that because you're not playing the game, you're taking the harder route. And I don't want to be like some, oh, I'm better than the rest or I'm just, I feel like I'm different. That's the whole point of the fucking oddity. You're passionate. Yeah. Oh, clock it. I am passionate. I really am like, I thought to myself today, because even yesterday, when I'm, I see my friend, Barbies, who knew Barbie Tucker, she was getting ready for New York Fashion Week. And she had all her outfits laid on the couch, all her jewelry. She was doing a get ready with me makeup. She was filming the video. She's doing content constantly about recording. I do not give one flying fuck, guys. Ah, shit, it's man. You know what's crazy? If I had a Ralph's TV show that was filming, and they were filming that for me, and the brands and the stylist all picked that shit for me, that's different. But I can't imagine myself doing that right now. But I will say Barbie doing that makes sense, because even if she does get the Ralph's TV and everything, she has the beginning. So I sometimes wonder to myself, feels like we're doing therapy and brainstorming how I'm doing. I feel like now I might be lazy about doing the grunt work to get to the dream that I want, because all this is necessary. It doesn't feel good. Like to get to the top, you don't always have to want to do the thing, right? Like I have a friend, you know, endurance, right? She's in a movie. And right now, she's down on the ground. Guys, if you're in Ghana and Nigeria listening to this, go watch Endearance's movie, The Fisher Memmy, and don't actually watch it. Such a great movie. Such a fucking great movie. I didn't tell you a bit about her. It was emotional, it was fantastic. It goes out into the horizon, Nigerian Ghana, Silver Bed, Silver Bed, September 19. OK. So I'll give you a hint, talking fish. Talking fish. Yeah. But for she is doing the grunt work right now, of like reaching out to people, selling the thing, doing all this things. In my head, I'm like, you're so big, you're doing to be doing all these things. But do I sometimes get lost in the dream? Where? Right out of the process to get to the dream. So I keep talking about how I want to be an actor. So right now, I'm just waiting for accents to come to me. But what are the steps that I should be taking to be ready for when that happens? Or should I just do it myself? You know what I mean? I don't talk about this all the time. We literally, I didn't even talk about the same thing. This is like a brainstorming session. It really isn't. It's not supposed to be that, because we have questions and we're focusing on. No, but I like this. I think my response to that would be, if you do the things in the way everyone is doing it, and the way it feels like it's supposed to happen, I feel like you end up like, you're not going to like it regardless. So it's like, maybe that's where the passion comes in. Because you're deaf. There is a part of you that is passionate about like doing a get ready with me. But like, no, but like in the way that you would want to do it. So that's all. There isn't one format. Because I've watched you do get ready with me before. That is true clock. I think that's where doing it in your own way, like show up in your own way, like create the way you want to, because I didn't really, that's what I'll make it the oddity at the end of the day. Because honestly, left to me, I don't know, man. I don't know. I don't know. You just, you just don't look something. I don't want to say it now. I feel like I just want to go home and do it. And do it, yeah, okay. I don't want to say it. Then if I don't do it now, be a whole thing. So I'm just going to be quiet. Yeah. That's the line. The line is like find a passion in whatever, and then just do it. Because like for me, like as an agency owner on one side of my brain, I hate some of the shit that I do. But I always have to do it. On the other end is like, I find a passion in it. Like I call it like smiling through the chaos. Yeah, you know, I like that. I like the idea. It makes me think of my friend, my Mei, Adora. She was, she's like, she's done the quick, quick snack. The most viral TikTok trends. And she's constantly talking about like missing opportunities, even though she's so viral and so visible. That's the canyon creator. Yeah. And for me again, it's just the passion, right? Because her journey is not going to look like my journey. It's not going to look like any given Sunday or Clark, because there's such different creators. So it really truly is finding the passion for what you're doing and just having fun with it and doing it. And I think the biggest thing too for you is like, I remember the first, because even before we met, I remember like seeing your videos online. And it's interesting, seeing those videos, and then seeing where you are now. I think your biggest struggle is the fact that like you've, you're growing up. And I think like, I'm 28. You're struggling to like, which we all are struggling to catch up. And fully understand like, who is this person? Yeah. Because the person who like was jumping in front of the screen, as much as like it would be easy to just be like, oh, so if you just go ahead and jump in front of the screen and do it, it's like sometimes you don't want to jump. Not because like, you don't have jumping in you, but it's like, what is the new jumping look like? You know what's funny? I honestly still feel like I still want to jump. I just don't think jumping lets me be successful in America. Because there's a part of me that sees jumping these a lot of things in this context. Yeah, jumping resource. As a Nigerian immigrant, right? I like, comedy is a huge part of the Nigerian art, right? Comedy, dance, music. And my blowing up was filled with that. Like I used to dance to music, react to my non-existent, but I used to do things that if, when you meet who are just at the core having fun, I am loud, I am annoying. I do all this things, but that doesn't necessarily translate well in the American market, because it can be labeled as ghetto. It can be labeled as too much, it can be labeled as, which is crazy. This is called a mytulado, and then being who you are, and I'm still talking about these things. But did that bring all those opportunities at the start? No. There was no opportunities at the start. I wasn't making money. I only started making money when I squashed my life. When you did a pivot. Kind of, yeah. I see you, other creators too. I know Marvela is an incredible creator who owns Marviano Cosmetics. And when she started, she was very much with the Nigerian accent, fully herself. And you will hear brands and agencies tell you, oh, we can't sign you, because you need to have a certain amount of American following. Now, I will say the caveat to that, and what I've been chasing is, let me build my own shit then. So if I have a successful YouTube channel where people are following me for my personality, then it doesn't matter if brands don't pay me or not pay me, because at some points, they're going to like me. I just saw Berna Boy do a partnership with OWN, the athletic brand, and I'm like, Berna Boy is no fitkin' an accent. He's fully Berna Boy. The music is able to be sold. So as a creator, I'm now constantly thinking about, okay, if I double down on the things that just make me, the oddity that make me excited to show young girls how to just live their best selves and be themselves, maybe brands will come to me because everybody can see themselves and me in some capacity. And as I see that right now, I just built guys in a way. And as I see that right now, I realized that maybe that's what it's missing. That's why I need to remind myself of so don't old. Remind me whenever I'm second-guessing myself that. I just need to do it. Like I need to do the nitty-gritty, do the Grammy stuff and stop complaining and just simply exist and do what needs to be done to get to where I want to go. We need more Scotland's. We need more Scotland's guys. We really fucking do. I have a bucket list of things I want to do before I am 30. I'm currently 28. And my birthday is June 25th, 27th. Save the date, 9th of January. June 25th, I'm up with Gilly. We call her by the day. You should be able to be used to fly. All right, number one hits 1 million followers. Okay. Which I swear to God, I better fucking hit a million followers and something. Of course. Okay. Visit 30 countries before 30, stay in a hostel which I've kind of already done. Slip overnight on a train. I've already done that. Fly Emirates first class. Okay. Skydive and Dubai. Ooh. Right? See the Northern Lights. Backpack across Europe. Play Mass and Trinidad. So like carnival stuff. Do a safari. Okay. Visit Tokyo. Mario Kart racing. Go to Brazil. Go to Brazil. Mm-hmm. Make time slash Forbes creator list. Okay. Buy a house. Go on a cruise. Go bungee jumping. Become an American citizen. Host a live show for my podcast. Go see Yellowstone Park. Cross-country van live trip to see America. Okay. Get star on a TV show. Okay. See the Grand Canyon. Okay. High couple of mountain. Okay. Walk on a runway or a fashion show. Go camping like actual camping. So sleep under the stars. Go to a F1 race. Take a hot hair balloon ride. Okay. Sleeping in an unusual place. Visit one of the seven wonders of the world. Okay. And do a mommy daughter trip. Wait. Who's the daughter? Me now, my mom and my daughter. Oh. Oh, not a child. No. You were just saying, my mom and my daughter. She goes over chocolate. Mommy daughter. So my mom and I, I've never actually traveled somewhere with my mom. That'd be so cool. Yeah, so that's my. I like the list. That's a very intense list, isn't it? That list is good. You're like any human, like human on earth, and you want to know how to live life. That's not true. That's what that list is. That list is like, everybody's, like everybody's like dream rise combined to get into one. I love it. The biggest one I'm scared about is bungee jumping for sure and skydiving. That's insane to me. I think skydiving is hard. Like, I think skydiving for bungee jumping, I think it's a bit crazy. Touring across America would be dope. We're going to do that together for sure. I feel like that might be something that, instead of getting a house earlier next year, it's something else. I was thinking about the same thing. Because it's going to be warmer around that time. Yeah. I was thinking about the same thing too. Because I'm not spending the winter. I'm not spending the winter in New York. Well, but I don't know if we'll talk about this, but guys, that's my bucket list. Well, this is so intimate. If you guys, if you're watching right now, and you want to make your own bucket list. Yes, honestly, make your bucket list and put it in the comments. I would love to see. Yeah, I would love to see it, but I'm going to be posting on TikTok. I'm really nervous. I feel like once I put it out there, I have to actually start it. Don't just put it in the comments. Put your bucket list, post the TikTok video. Like, we actually want to see you in social media. Put hashtag the part fan and tag them. Am I too loud? Yeah. Yes, let's do that. Let's see your videos. OK, Donald, let's get into some too much tea. Because our FYPs are always dramatic. Did you hear about the Tunisia to nice drama, the two white girls? No. What, have you known? No, I saw the clip of a girl saying, oh my god, are we in? Yeah, I was doing it by doing it watching. Watch everything. So two white girls were traveling, and they were trying to go to Tunis, France. But they ended up in Tunisia. Tunis Tunisia. I don't know. Because apparently, there's so many things. There's boarding gates, there's so many less things. That's why I need one. It was a certain thing that we were ridiculous. But it was true. Like, they actually were in Tunisia, and it was the most chaotic thing because here they are, trust Africans, right? These are two white girls shouting at African men, telling them where they're going. And they're just looking like, what the fuck, we get it? So, and these girls are sounding so uppity. And so there's a conversation around the fact that these young girls were upset about being in Tunisia rather than enjoying their vacation. And I'm like, I'll be upset too. Yeah, I don't think they're upset because. And I'm in Tunisia. What am I doing there? Like, it's not a motto, but I don't understand. It's like a homeroidal situation. Imagine when you go to Paris, France, and you end up going to Paris out of Oklahoma. Right. Like, I was trying to go to Diego's, but you go to Galois, Portugal. I was going to Portugal. Well, oh my God, Jesus, I'm over the complaint. What does that say about us? Well, yeah, so it was like a big drum on it. There's been conversation about how like, they should have enjoyed their stay in Tunisia and they should have not been to over one. I'm like, these are two girls who found themselves in Africa. So how did they pronounce it? How did they like, they're like in their like early 20s? Yeah, but I do. Oh, they also had a month to spend in Tunisia. Apparently, they just did. So they apparently were supposed to go somewhere and the person booked them. So it wasn't like they booked themselves. Someone booked them when they gave them more. And the person booked the wrong person. Yeah, so they told the person, we're going to Nice. I think it was because it kept saying to Nice, to Nice, to Nice instead of saying, we're going. I don't know what else I was saying. Tunisia, right? Tunisia is the capital of Tunisia. No, but they're not going to Tunisia. They're going to Tunisia. Right, because they're going to Tunis, France, right? But they're going to Tunis, they're going to Tunis. I didn't go to Tunis. Is that person Tunis or Tunis? That's a place called Nice, France. Exactly. Tunis and the person booked them. Tunis. Yeah, that person is a problem. Right, because the person was probably saying like, okay, sure, but it was hilarious. It was trending on TikTok. And another thing that was trending is what led to my opinion at the beginning of this episode, which is that I don't think men like women. And now I say that because, guys, okay, I love the boys on the podcast that I was on in the UK. Do not get me wrong. Do not get me wrong or clip this clip. But I have noticed, like, there's, when I'm in rooms we had a heterosexual men, I could always tell when women are not necessarily seen as peers or friends and more as like partners. Does that make sense? Okay. So like, I think you have a lot more women in your life where you're friends. Right. One of my exes has a lot of female friends. They like women. Like, you're like girls. Like, you respect women. I'm more saying, most people don't, but I say that, I take that back. Men, most men don't. Most men see women as a means to an end. This is somebody who is going to further my household. This is somebody who is going to... Like, if they don't see you as like a potential partner. Yeah, they're not friends. They're never going to see even like... And that's why the commission of like, are you friends with your exes? If somebody's pregnant for you, the baby mama drama's all coming. And I bring that up because there's, you know, growing trend on TikTok, where women will come on TikTok and tell you about the problem they have. Stop breathing into the fucking mic. Where am I breathing? Yeah, I think you go. I'm really, this is what you're saying. I'm not, I'm just saying. So it's been a great trend. There's a great trend on TikTok of... There's a great trend on TikTok of women who complain about, they will come on TikTok to complain about their husbands but they won't leave. So it's like, oh, for example, this girl will come and be like, guys, am I overreacting but, you know, my boyfriend doesn't follow me on Instagram but he follows other women. And I'm going to ask him, he says it's always because that he doesn't want people in our business. Or the one that was traumatizing was we both can relate to that is this girl was running a marathon, a freaking marathon. I saw that. And her boyfriend, it's the food she needed to use to run. Why didn't you see that? I knew you didn't see that. I can see her face changing. So basically, she was running a marathon and her boyfriend was holding all her snacks and he literally ate it all. When she was like, oh, do you have any fuel? And he was like, oh, I ate it all. And she was like, what do you mean? And she got upset. And so she posted about it because nobody asked that. She posted about it and she said, oh, my boyfriend ate all my snacks and then she put turned off the comments because her brother is like, that man hates you. Because imagine the marathon's be running. Don't, I don't think I would have survived. Yeah. Without any of the snacks you guys had for me. And imagine me going to point mile 16, mile 24 and you tell me you asked my food. Oh, I swear to God. So that's an example of like, people women especially in relationships where women are catered for. Or there's another example of the company was doing like women versus men. And the women had to guess what the men's tools were and men had to guess what the women's tools were. So the simple as like women would have photos of IUDs, they would have photos of like makeup sponges and stuff like that. And the guys has examples of like gaming chair or like mics or wrench or camera because they just thought women are dumb enough that you know working tools and stuff. So like this, it feels like this is like far out this, excuse me. I feel like this is far out distinction of most men don't understand the problems or like just like life as a woman and as the resident man in my life. Why do you think that is? They just not respect women enough? Okay, I don't want to not answer your question. But I also want to, when I'm waiting for you to talk about it, I don't think it's just a man problem. What do you think it is? I think it's a human problem. I don't think that's true. I think if we look at each other, right? For both of us. I feel like you see me as a human being. I see you as a man first. Okay, why I see you as a human being? That's not true. No, I do. I don't look at you. And the first thing I see is woman. First of all, it's because we make money together. No, no, I say it from that. You're not walking down the fucking street and you're not going to see women and going to be like, oh, I see you as a human being. I know as a girl. I swear to God, let's go fucking shit. No, because because you're a human first. Guys, don't, there's not the right way to ask. That's where the care comes from, right? Let's use those guys, for example. If you have those guys and they're like, oh, why, you know, they don't understand why you be friends with your ex. It's because like your ex is like they're human. And I'm using human because I think like they're women who treat guys the same way, right? Like in the way we're talking by way, they see the man as just the man. And then they're men who like see women as just the women. I see what you mean, you're all lives mattering this. You know what I mean? It's like, but there's like, there's a human, like cause if those guys saw like women as like, oh, this is a human, who I think is cool. I like what she does. She, this is her interest and all these things. It's easy to care for that person, right? Do you think is a community thing or a culture thing? Cause when I was in the UK, there was sort of like a known conversation about how British women were demanding, right? And how the men had to provide. So there was very clearly either men who just simply cater to the women or men and women who were very much platonic friends. Like I think of Nella Rosen, her friends like male friends versus like other women who were like, constantly dating men and how they interact. And I also think when you said, well, maybe it's just like women who date men for this and men would do women for that. But I still say when women are growing up, we're honestly raised to either take care of men and have them be providers for us. Right. Most men are also raised to be providers in a way for women. Right. Now the caveat to that is most men then end up seeing women more as like this dependent that is stressing me out cause I need to be at the certain level rather than like appear. Cause in relationships, for example, right? I've had relationships with friends break up because the man might be going through some financial struggle and instead of depending on the partner and being like, I need to be ready to be a husband to you. I need to be ready to be this. But if you like the person you're with, if you fuck with them, if you respect them on a human level, like you're saying, those conversations don't need to be happening. Cause when they're happening. Yeah, cause they're like, I want to take care of you. Sounds good. Like I want to take care of you. But like, because like I care about you as a human not because like you're a woman. Mm hmm. I just don't think men like women know. I think, I think some men, I think most men, majority of course. Okay, thank you. Majority of course. Cause like I have friends, right? It's like you here. I don't feel like you also have an older sister. And that's also a big factor. Like I think most guys who have older sister have a mother. No, no, no, no, no, though. Because boy moms are not the best. Like mothers are, which is unfortunate, sad to say, but sometimes mothers are the problem. Right. Like a lot of mothers like perpetrate this conversation because they are now like, oh yeah, no. Like I've seen stupid TikToks of poor moms saying, well, my son is the best and he's the prize. And you see the, because of TMZTLC, African mother, I was telling the wife that she wanted to give him Valentine's Day presents to shit. Like mothers can also be a bit crazy when it comes to that. So I don't have anything. I usually don't use the analogy of the mom. Well, mostly the sister, cause I feel like most, especially older sisters tend to get the not so fun parts when a younger man comes into the picture with a younger boy cause they are having to see first hand what favoritism looks like in those type of families. I think, I think this conversation, it feels very like versus and I don't think like, I think that's the problem. The problem is that society right now everyone is like versus like men versus women, men versus women. Like all these different ideologists and he cannot be, we cannot move forward if we're constantly thinking versus. Like I don't think like, cause to say that men hate women is a true statement, but I think that would feel like an attack on men, right? Because from a mass perspective, they're like, okay, society also has all these expectations of me. And I'm thinking forward, you know, okay, these are the expectations that I have, you know, to be able to be the head of the family and all these things. But then the society's pressure who is like also stopping me from reaching those goals, right? But because we're not seeing the women that we have as like, okay, like this is actually a human being, this is one that I care about, right? Like I would do anything for this person. If that person is of not being in your life, that does not mean that you still cannot feel that same way about the person. So that's why you can be friends with them. But if you don't see that person like that and you saw that person as like kind of your up, right? Because I feel like right now for men and women, like what each other's up, like you're dating a girl. Imagine like dating somebody sleeping with them in the same house, like you probably have insects and everything. But then like she would do you something very foul. And then you're like, you know, but even in that moment, you should still be able to like understand because they're human and they it's okay to react. Yeah. So I think when you're saying the versus conversation and you mentioned society, I want to remind a lot of people listening to that we do live in a patriarchal society. So when I understand the versus, and I think maybe that also is right. Like language is over very important and that's definitely sounds like an attack. But an attack is necessary, especially when the victims are beginning to speak out. It's like whenever we talk about, and it's crazy to connect the two, but when you think about race, race relations, right, when black people are complaining about, you know, being in America and struggling in the American system and people are like, well, you know, you guys are just being playing the victim. You need to stop complaining, I just work. It's not that easy, right? And of course there's always the, for lack of a better word, bad eggs in every situation. But men oftentimes would rather spend time with other men. That's true, right? Most people that I know. Most men spend time with other men, right? And there's a level of this interest that exists because think about it from, you're born, you're in school. Your first, most guys have cool friends that are girls, but as an age where like maybe sex becomes a thing or you know, your dick start standing and all that shit happens. And there's nobody in your life to tell you that, yes, this is somebody you could be sexually attracted to or you know, if you're gay, otherwise that happens too. But for most of the heterosexual men in the space like, oh, it's like, oh, women become this sexual object. There's oftentimes no man. The fathers are in telling the boy how to, either suppress that sexual or use it for something because you think about the masturbation episode. There's no one sort of like guiding the man. Or the woman who is not doing, like the mother to in that situation is not doing that, right? Cause then the guys are mean to the girls and blah, blah, blah. So then you have that, then you grow into high school and then you're having the crushes and you're asking the girls out. And at no point is there a mutual respectation happening between the genders, unless it's very intentional. Like you're going to school and you're studying together and there's very much like you're not attracted to this person. Cause there's only just two about like platonic friends and not being attracted to each other unless like you have some like, I have money wells and an example of who's I'm really, really close to. I love it, we're always like trying to ship us both. Me and many respect our craft, but we're both creatives, right? It's hard for me to see you guys as anything other than men sometimes because yeah, me and you were cool, but how do you factor or how do you navigate your relationship with other girls? Like you're cool, like my knee is cool, Justin and any are cool. But also when women are around, how do you talk to your guys? Like I don't, I've never been in the space with you and your guys. Oh my gosh, yeah. And there was one time I had, there's one time we had an event and we were on the rooftop. It was me, you a few guys, you don't, you don't have to forget the barbecue. Right, right. I'm like, I just, I remember hearing you guys talk and it was such an out of body experience for me cause, because I had known the guys in the room on a creative professional level, for non a personal level. And then I heard you guys talk about relationships and partners. I was like, oh, these fucking assholes. Like they're so dumb, no offense to your offense. And I was like, they're so annoying, but that's how most men are, right? Like in reality, you're not spending a lot of time with other women plotonically. Like it's usually sexual otherwise. Like most of us just don't even think it's needed. Like, oh, why am I hanging out with Taiwan? I'm gonna get saying boom, boom, boom, or something like that. That boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Yeah, and I think I'm just one of the thing where like, I wanna say this, but I think it's true. I think that's men are usually not friends with women that they don't find attractive. Like most men are friends with women that they find attractive, or they will be friends with you unless they're attractive. Most men are friends with women who they find attractive. No, I thought that was the opposite. No, no, no, no, no. Because that means there's no, there is a platonic relationship there because they don't find you attractive. No, because if you, they don't find you attractive, you don't think you're good looking. And there's no barrier. There's no like one on the same class, one on the same church, one on the same choir. You're just like a random person. Sure, I feel like it's the opposite, Donald. That's the comments. Because I swear I thought it was like men would not because then there's always this idea of like, well, maybe because they'll be friends is because they wanna hit at some point. Oh, not even that. Like that's what we even spark the curiosity and maybe like she shuts them down and she's not interested. Because like not a lot of men would be forward and say, oh my God, I'm interested in you right now. They're not gonna see that. Really, this is different. Yeah, they're not gonna see that. I didn't really think that. I thought it was the opposite because I thought most guys will be friends with women. They do find, they don't find the attractive. That's the woman thing. A lot of women would find other women that are not as attractive as them to help their self-esteem. Okay, well, that's a different conversation. No, I'm just saying, this is my observation. You just wait, we're not talking about that right now. Yes, no, no, that's why you're back to the men. It's true or not? It's open. Right, but like, I think with men, like yeah. Interesting. Do you have a lot of platonic female relationships in your life that are not professional? I do. Oh, really? I do. Give me one person. Like my friend Valerie, who's here studying at Columbia. You work with Valerie. Exactly, you still use to work with Valerie. No, but even before we started working together, because we started as two years ago before, not, no, because she was talking to like one of my friends. I met her as like someone who was talking to one of my friends. So like, I already, it was a. Did you answer the question? Did you think I'm attractive? Yeah. Oh, why? Because I thought you had no one outside because she was a person. No, she's a pretty girl though. I think every woman is beautiful. Oh, don't know. Do you just ask her, come right here, I'm fucking. Goodness. I was also saying that because I thought you were no sane, Valerie was attractive. So I was trying to get you to say. No, because yeah. No, she is. But she was a friend. She is. So you were only friends because she was attractive? No, we became friends because we have similar. Okay, these are not the things. I don't like bring the fact that I went to an old boy's school, but I also tend to go for my life. Do you say this all the time? The reason I tend to go for my life is because throughout high school, when you were talking about high school, throughout high school, I only had male friends. Okay. And when I was in the S3, something devastating happened to me. I think I told you about this. I was in the S3, it was Valentine's Day. I was in boarding school. I said the story before, long story short, I bought Valentine's Day presents for a girl. You didn't have the rejection. Right. But imagine I didn't have any female friends, apart from my sister. Imagine how I could have taken that. If all my friends show up from G.S. once, as it's from first grade. Well, I will say when you tell me about all guys, you're about to, when you talk about your relationships with women though, I can see that. Mm hmm. No offense. Well, what can you say? I don't want to say that's a lot too much. Mm hmm. When you talk about your previous relationships with women and those circumstances, I can see you talk about yourself's off camera. But you tend to face your female relationship, your partnerships very differently. I think because of that experience. You want to say it negatively. No, that's what you meant. You have a sense of self that has been influenced by that experience. Let's say that. So I think it's still an impression, did you, in a way that it's like, it's not bad, no, no. Because I feel like you have a sister, she would have shot you to shit down quick. No? Yeah. Yeah. If I was like, yeah, because your time's not as young and you were like, I would come back home and maybe I've picked up like fuck, fuck, fuck from somewhere. And like, my sister, like, stopped seeing me. Yeah, she's, I love her. No, I need to have her on the podcast. She's really like, she's cool. Like, she's cool. Like, I need to have her on the podcast. Yeah. Anyways. So as we're talking about like friendships and stuff like that. If someone was then to describe our friendship in one sentence, what do you think that'll be? Oh, in a word? Yeah. Interesting. Don't say that. You got to give more than interesting. It's a breathing and little fucking mind. I agree. You just take that thing off. That's a lady. Because I'm telling you, once I intro my plugin on this, you probably won't hear it. OK. Our friendship in one word, I'll say dope. OK. Yeah, I think it's pretty cool. Consider it because like, me and you know how the distance that we've had to walk to get to where we are today. I mean, you got to. Yeah, you know, I mean, so like, I think like, and I think that fact is something that I appreciate a lot. I think I use that, to be honest. And in a lot of the things that I do in life, right? It's like not seeing things as like, oh, like, one-way shot, or like impossible. Knowing that things can be like fluid dynamic. Like, it could be crazy. I was going to say our friendship is like dynamic. Yeah. Because I feel like we've come through. Don't go. Only me and Don't know. I mean, Don't only been through to get to here. But I feel like that's why our relationship works the way it does too. And it's pretty cool to see that even like, as like, I'm navigating life and you're navigating life. Because I'm like, I wonder what two years would look like, three years would look like. Because we constantly are planning for even more dope shit to happen. I think the also transparency is something that we'll have transparency too. Because the moment they're like, we've had where like, like if we look at life the way everyone else says, you should look at guys with it as being like, fuck it. Yeah. Just what I mean. And sometimes where I would even like fight for the friendship too, not necessarily because like, there's something crazy, you know, they're like, first of all, you were fighting for the friendship. No, so much in that I was though. I was like, no, when I'll be like, no, like, I think we're cool friends, right? In my head, I'm looking at it is like, there's no reason. Because I've met this person like two years ago, right? But like, we connected in a way. I think we're able to have that because if you look at society now, right? It's like people look at, oh, like, I don't understand my thing is, I don't understand how someone can come into your life. Mm-hmm. And next thing they're gone. If someone came into your life. You don't understand what I'm best friends with my exes. Yeah, yeah, thanks. I would love to be able to like chat up my exes like every single day. Look, you are the kind of person that I would understand that and have the same relationship. Any of my exes can hit me up. Because there's some of them that's like, I am so sorry. I was young and like, he was a dick. I probably hurt you and like, you know, but I hope you can tell that I'm changed. But then like, there are the recent ones where like, you know, if you ever need anything, like hit me up. Okay, well, my exes, I love shout out to you all, man. No, I love them. Everything I wanted them. Well, lahi to lahi. Like everyone I have dated, I have a little more. How many people did this too? The rest are like situations and stuff. I have a question. Oh. What's your body count? Why are you asking me that? No, because I don't know mine. Oh, mine is like, mine is in the thirties. Okay. Yeah, for short thirties. I actually don't know mine. Well, I don't think yours is a lot though. No, it is. Really? I said that too quick. No, you know the thing is, it's interesting because from 16 to 5.9 year, to like a little period between like when I was traveling in a lot, it's way crazy. Probably, I mean, I would say the thirties, every just match you. Oh, shut up. What was it? I'm probably somewhere in the 50s. That's not bad though. If no more. Okay. Yeah. I don't necessarily judge. Again, you know my philosophy on dating and sex. I really think that my type of dating is like, I think people need to date like it's a job interview. Like there's a rule of 100. Like if you're looking for one job, you should apply to 100 because you're going to find the one. If you're looking to date someone, they would disagree. I know like heavy, but like, let me say this. Dating to me resembles talking, right? You're only in a relationship with someone you ask the person to date like to be in a relationship with you. So that means that like, right now, if I'm single, I can date whoever I want. Like I can go on hinge, go on dates, dinner days, some shots, suppose dates. I don't know, 10 days, go out with double dates. Like I could do it. And in that process, I can have sex with people. I can know, I can choose what my boundaries are. Which most people don't do. Which is what I always say. And that's what we always get the confusion from. Like if I'm deciding today, I can have boundaries that say, I don't have sex with anyone until you're my boyfriend or girlfriend. I don't go to your houses. I don't like travel. Like there are things that you can put into place that tells you this is exactly eight. And then say that, oh, if I meet someone, I really like, and we've gone on three dates, and on the third day, I really, really like this person that I'm not dating anyone else. Does that make sense? But think about like her job interview, right? If you're applying for a hundred jobs, it's usually a time that comes when you, like you may have heard back from the job, right? And then you say, okay, fine. I'm gonna do this interview. You do the first, second, and third. There's usually this assurance you have by the third interview, maybe you're talking to HR, you're talking to the manager now, that it makes you feel like, oh, I'm getting this job. Unconsciously, you're not applying to other jobs because in your mind, you've already gotten the job, right? That's how I feel with dating. And then if at some point on the fifth, sixth day, solo where like you're like, oh, this person isn't much in my energy anymore, you can always still go back to start applying again to start dating again. And what people tend to do is forget the part where you need to have boundaries in place. In anything in life, you have to have boundaries. I'm not saying have dates or go on, sex days, I'm not saying anything. You don't have to give your buddy out to the 50 people you're dating because all you're dating them. And what also realizes, a lot of people respect people when they have boundaries. And I have terrible boundaries. I used to just feel so guilty about something so I would do things because I felt bad for other people. And I didn't realize how much more I was hurting myself in the long run. So if you're listening to this and you've always been interested in dating, I think, because even for young women too, it's okay to, of course, you need to know options. I mean, so many people in this world who end up with partners because they only went on one day and they said, okay, this person I like, we actually never really knew what you liked. And you guys end up in divorce or you don't like each other, the next goes on and on and on. So, okay, we're gonna do a quick fire round before we end this episode. I don't, I've actually missed yapping with you. Did you miss me? I did. I'm such a huge reassurance and validation person. I don't know if you can tell, guys. I love you. I did, I'm enjoying this. Okay, so on the topic of like friendships now, do you think friendships need to be treated like romantic relationships, so anniversaries, boundaries, breakups, all of that? Yes. Really? Well, what's our anniversary? August 22nd. Is it? Where is it? Where is it? Yeah. I hate that you didn't know that. It's not actually I'm joking. No, it's not. It's not August. Did you like? Yeah, it's July. Again, it's definitely August. It's sometime in July. Well, you know, we could find it though. No, no, of course. Because I should have a video of me that goes at that time. Yeah. It's July. But we actually, I don't think we do. We should celebrate ourselves more, don't we? I don't think we do. Yeah, I think like that's something that's like, if you're friends with someone, you should celebrate. I like a sucker for that. I think like for me, it's like, you've never done that for me though. JK, my birthday, you got me something. I also like to, yeah, like birthdays are important. Birthdays are important and very intentional. Yeah. When it comes to birthdays. Yeah. I do all people are afraid of birthdays because like they don't want to spend money. But it's not really good to spend money on someone's birthday. It's not about money. Yeah, I feel like I'm also the kind of person who can buy anything I want for myself. I talk with this all the time. So if you're in my life, it's like the little things that matter to me. Like if you write me a handwritten note, if you create something for me, if you make something. We had to also say those things too, right? Cause when we first, when we first like became friends, like I think there's so many things that I haven't learned from you. Like knowing how to, I'm very vocal about how to like me. Yeah. And a lot of people aren't. And that's one thing I realize. It's like a lot of people aren't, they're not vocal and you be friends with them and they look kind of like angry and upset by the things that you're not doing. But they're not seeing it. And then that just like grows. But like for you, you said it. Cause I remember the first time, like you were like, oh, you didn't get me anything or what? It's something that you've done for me. And in my head, I'm just like, you're right. You call it out. There's something like you're right. Like, and then you start to take a whole fight about that. When we first started being friends. Cause like I honestly, it's also the thing for people with me, where like people think I have everything. So they don't tend to, they get either nervous or just unsure of what to do for me. And I've had to remind people that like, I'm a human too. Like I like nice things. I like good things. Well, like intentional things. Like you don't have to buy me though. Cause I don't even have house. So please don't buy me anything. So like do intentional shit for me. Like your ability to like always answer the phone is something that I don't take for granted. Cause I know how busy you are. Like that's the kind of thing that I think about a lot. Like, oh, my friends are taking the time of the day to come drive me. Like today, like they actually were supposed to be filming the podcast, but I was like, okay, take me to the mall. And that extra step of saying, yeah, sure. And we went to the mall, we hung out, like we went to dinner. Like, it's low things like that. Like time also right now is such currency to me. And someone is giving me their time and energy. That's the most important thing. Because do you know what people can be doing with your time and the tension? It's great that you said that because I think I grew up in a family way. Like I come out of the last time, honestly, ever, that my dad ever gave me anything. And I was like, here, like this is a gift for you. He's your birthday. So I never saw that. That's something that like I needed to do with people. One thing I always loved was my company, like I would show up. I would be there and like I would, you know, I've always seen that. So I think during that moment where you were like, oh, like, you know, you haven't done this. And my head, I was like, you know what? That's true. Cause I'm showing up in the way I know how to, but that's not thinking anything for me. Yeah, exactly. I was like, how do other people actually want the cost of community is discomfort? Yeah. I saw that on Twitter or X or something once and it stuck with me. Now I tell this to everyone, like I had to realize that. Oh, the cost of actually engaging with people, being friends with people is the discomfort that comes with having to engage your people. So snaps you with that. Okay. So what is the pettiest thing you've ever done? I've ever done or we've ever done. You've ever done. Cause I'm going to answer to pettiest thing I've ever done. Oh, oh my God. Okay. So I hope she doesn't see this. Okay. Back in my young days, I used to be a toxic goaster. Oh God. Oh my God. Oh Lord. Oh Lord. And I've, I'm so good now, but I would go to you and I remember it was something that my ex had done. This is no, this is my very first girlfriend when I was living in Nigeria. Oh, it's a different person. Yes. Different person. I could think of four different sources. Let me tell you how this ghost thing happened. I moved from Nigeria to America during the ghost thing. Until today, there was never a breakup, there was never a, I moved, I'm not coming back. And mind you, this was a two year relationship. It was bad. And I think like, if this anybody who probably wants to do bad things to me, is this first thing? But what I can say, I'm going to look at you in your face. If you're here, let's call her S. I'm sorry. I was young. I didn't mean it. I've done better. I'm going to therapy. I read my Bible. And as you can see right now, she's a testament to the man that have become. Oh, I am not. I don't know anymore. Thank you, Matt. Don't be vomit. That's the thing. And all I can say is, this is what I say, man. Don't like women. I love you. Oh, shut the fudge up. Who's yours? Um, I've actually, I don't have one. I don't really move petty, which is the idea that I'm going to be crazy. You've never been petty. I swear to you. But I'd be too in like, I'd be too like in my, I'm too dumb. Like no offense to me. No, you've never like, yeah, like I'm more, I don't, I don't know as to you do petty shit. But like, I feel like you're too, and I'm, this is lack of better words. There's another word for it. Reckless. Yeah. Right. Like you've probably been too reckless before your own entertainment. Yeah. Yeah. It's not like petty. It's more of like, I just move Matt. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's the, that's the best way to explain it. But I've. Shhh. Yeah. I'm actually thinking about it. No. So you've never like, broken someone's like, guys burnt someone's couch. Oh. You don't know. I've been slapped before. You've been slapped before. Yeah. Why are you sharing this information? I don't know. I've been slapped on 14 streets in front of a movie theater. Okay. We're moving on. Because I don't know how to get to that. You stressed me out. What's one thing you would never apologize for? Doing what I wanted to do. Yeah. Okay. That's a good one. I would say one thing I'll never apologize for is being successful. Ooh. Yeah. Clock it. And I think that's a very new thing that I'm working on for the year. That's cool. Like I've moved so much. You felt like that before? The thing that just happened recently, whether it upset at me for shining bright. That's true. And then I had to feel like I had to apologize for just being myself and taking all the fucking wins. That's true. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm going to apologize for being successful. I will say like I tend to apologize for being me. Like I'm so sorry I'm crying. I'm so sorry I'm this. But I'm actually trying to learn to not do that. Because it makes no sense. But don't know. That's the end of the episode. And I leave tomorrow. You're not seeing me till hopefully next year. Back to you. Back to you. Okay. You're joking. I mean, I'm joking. I mean, I'm joking. Listen to that. It's a part of that. You know what, I get you just played the gong just now. I played the gong and I was like once this camera is cut, I'm going to be like, what the. I need to be like, when are you talking to me. No, but it was just nice to catch up with you. I feel like some, like this reminds me of like us having this baby and like wanting to grow and shit. And like the baby has been at my breast for a minute. And then I'm giving it to you to hold. Yeah, okay, there's no milk involved. Oh, wow, shut the fuck up. Wait, wait, did you know that cows are female? I don't know, guys. Yes, don't know. Of course, I knew cows were female. What the heck? Someone said they don't mind. It's like, they didn't know cows were female. And she's like, well, that's why they have milk. Because a milk cow is a bull. Guys, thank you so much for watching. I might love the podcast with me and my producer, Donald. We miss you very much. If you guys have been saying you missed Donald, here he is in the flesh. He's a vibe. Shout out to our new mics, by the way. I'm so proud of us. This is so fire. This feels so official. Like brick and news, brick and news. The news is breaking. Yeah, I love you guys very much. And if you're a Nigerian, oh, again, I don't forget. The freshman man comes out September 19th in cinemas in Silverbed. I'm really excited. And I will be seeing you guys in Lagos, Nigeria. Very, very, very, very soon. I'm going to say this in every episode because I can't wait to see you guys. I love you guys. Bye.