An Unfiltered conversation about SELF-PLEASURE - Ep 27

Welcome to a My Too Loud The Podcast. Hey guys, welcome back to a My Too Loud The Podcast with Sophie, aka the mother freaking Audity guys, hi, hi guys, I'm clearly not home as always, if you're watching on YouTube we are currently at one of my favorite people in the entire world, someone that you all know and love. We have the most random creative that I know, Donald, a fairy right here. That was my whole government. Donald is back guys, Donald is here, I don't know, how are you? This thing is not okay, there we go, see that's better, what does it keep like, what does it feel weird? Because it's no me, I'm the one that has the headphones. I know guys, I'm in love with my voice. I can't hear anything. Can you do you now understand how hard it is for me when I'm recording? I just trust the process and I hope it works out, oh, no, you sound so good, no, I missed you, give me your hand. It was funny, we've been together for the past three hours, you knocked, hold my hand. What does that say? Well, don't care about it, you know, guys, Donald actually missed me, we did not see each other for a whole month. I didn't realize it was a whole month until Donald came into mass and he actually hugs me. He physically assaulting, he just hugged me and he was like, awesome, I'm gonna see you in a month and I was like, guys, it's been a month actually since we saw each other and everyone has been asking about you, so how have you been? Honestly, shout out to the part found man, let me tell you, even though I produce this show, I let you go into every episode, once we post it, I look at the comments, I'm just waiting to see my name. That's all I care about, in my sound vein, but that's all I care about, for everyone that writes Donald in the comments, just know I see you, even on her vlog channel, like if you mention my name, I get a notification, no, because Donald, you beat in the comments fighting people. Yeah. Yeah. No, you should just let it go. No, I'll fight you. I don't know if this, all the time, like, Donald, you can't, you don't have to respond, just let it go, it's fine, but he does not like that. But then on this back, guys, it's been a long couple of months in a good way. The podcast is doing really well for this season, like what the actual fudge and fudge, like, isn't that crazy? Also, random. I was talking to someone the other day and they were cursing and they said fudge, they were like, oh, you say fudge, right? And I'm like, don't be leading the revolution, because I don't see fudge, because of the podcast. Yeah, because I say fudge instead of fudge. Yeah. The other word, because I curse a lot, I'm trying lots of curse, because we're trying to be kid friendly over here. But guys, the podcast has been doing really good. I think after my podcast and my mom and just like navigating season two, this is episode 27, right? Yeah. Wow. That's crazy. I feel like we have such a long way to go, but we're like learning as we go and it's been really, really fun. Our last episode was a solo episode of me just, like, sharing something to my birthday. Don't know what you gave me. Oh, don't tell me something to my birthday. He got me a fruit basket, which is really sweet. And I was sick. So it was really helpful. I was going to curl you up, actually, and that's actually you're right. He got me something. I get the best gifts. You did not give the best gifts, because you did not, first of all, that's not a gift. That's just a suggestion of a gift, because my real gift is coming. The only reason why I give you that fruit basket, because any other thing that I would give you, you probably know, you use, you give it out, or you probably don't care. The last birthday, I give you a, I give you my original Canon camera from Japan. Oh, my. My question to you right now is, my camera is the camera. That's it. I just thought about it, too. Where is the camera? Where's your camera? Where is it? I told you, I give it to you. Tell me. Okay. First of all, I'm so grateful for everybody who gives me stuff. Don't only a freaking liar, because don't give me a camera that he wasn't using, that he could not figure out how to use it. That's not true. I used to get out of your apartment. No. That's what that was. Okay. So backstory, right? Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Let me join in. You're still using your camera. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay, that. Do you know what's off symptoms now? That I didn't do the ads. Serious note though, I don't know what he's doing, I remember when you were living when I gave you that It wasn't Jersey. I was in Jersey my Jersey apartment. I don't think he left the Jersey apartment. No, I don't know. I don't I give it back. You took it back. I think you took it back. I would lie as I could take it back. It's in the box. No, it wasn't. That box is not anywhere that because my life I'm just I'm not seated since I moved out of Jersey actually and he was in your office in the window. Yeah, no, it was one of the windows. It was all in the closet. The most worries that camera because I wasn't there when you moved. Doesn't matter. I wasn't thinking about you on that camera when I was in New York. I wasn't there. Where were you? I was doing our fights. Oh wait guys. Okay, I forgot about that. We did all the not speak for six months. I was four months. It was four and a half months. I mean, we did not speak. We're texting. Were we texting? We were. Don't do any editors. Don't do any graphic writers. I feel like I was doing I just make you feel like you weren't fully left out. I really didn't need any of those things. You know, I told him a lesson now. I told him a lesson now. I look at us now. Did we not grow closer together because of it? I'm a very strict friend guys, but I'm glad we can find our way back to an old. I'm glad we find our way back to an old. We did. Thank you. Can I can I start? Okay. Oh, yes. No, I want to introduce it. Can I just have my thing? I don't know what it is, but I want to introduce it for us for we talk. So because I've been going for a long time, Donald has been really jealous because we've had a lot of guests in the podcast. And since he was our original first guest, he's been like, he wants to take over for whenever I am at home and he's like in control that he wants to take over the topics for the podcast. And so Donald has curated this entire episode for you guys. And so if this doesn't do well at this does well, we're blaming it on Donald because I don't know what I'm walking into. I know it's by the time I open this iPad, I'm going to find out what the title is and what chaotic nonsense we're about to talk about today on the podcast because Donald is involved. Okay. Don't take it away. Whatever you want to talk about. Sure. If you're if we get to this podcast before, you know that Sophie's the one that don't mean does like, but this time I get to do it. And I'm going to pass a question on Sophie. But first, right? Actually, first, I thought this was a great way to start the episode. I saw this story, right? That someone said, I think it was already somewhere on the internet. The person said, I remember rubbing the area when I was little and thinking that it felt good. I'm not sure what it was that started it. I think I just kind of started doing it before bedtime. And then he kind of turned into a whenever I was alone there. Eventually, I started using my Barbies for masturbating just the legs of the Barbies. Oh, my God. I just thought of it. I used to scissor Barbie. Fuck. That wasn't a people. I didn't need at 2 a.m. So my question is so. Wait, I just like question. Let me tell you something. Let me say this. So we were sitting here. I don't want to set it upright. And I had a little thread of my shirt, my whatever I'm wearing. And I was like, Oh, I don't know. You have a system. I don't know. I was like, I'm scarred. I'm scarred. He's like, everything I've done about this episode about I do. Everything reminds me of everything you say. And now I get what you meant. So guys, I'm so sorry. No, I'm not. This is a mindset a lot of the fucking podcast. This is this is a fun conversation because we stand on very different spectrums around this conversation. Yes. And that's I'm so excited. I'm so excited. Discuss this. Okay, let's do it. Okay. So my question. I'm gonna take my glasses off because I need I need to see. Do I look terrible? Can you check? You need me check. Guys, today's episode is about masturbation. The M word. Okay, go ahead. Go ahead. We're gonna repeat a favor. So if you have to do okay, Brian, you're fucking annoyed. Do you masturbate? Yes, or no, you're never gonna get to the yet. Sorry. I'm very quick with it. Okay. Why? Why? Because I think it's like good pleasure. Good pleasure. Yeah, I feel like it's like pleasurable to do it. What do you mean? Well, she masturbation feels good. You should ask me the question. Oh, so I knew you were waiting for that. That's what I was trying to stalk because I was like, I know you were waiting because it was out. You also really annoying the answer to this. Donald you masturbate. No, never out. Proud scouts on it. I've never done it to my entire life. No, there's no way you've never done that. You've never in my entire life. That is not true. Donald aduviate. If you're you've never, you've never flicked the mold. I wouldn't apply to you. I've never in my life. You've never attempted it. No, you've never. I'm telling you like even at 13 years old, you've never have never. What? At 13 years old, I was serving mass for the bishop of Jesus. I promise you, the last thing on my mind. I thought, yeah, really. I never. Okay, guys, we're talking about the prison. The priest told us that it's bad. It's a sin. Like, the seven deadly sins, the things that's like, you just don't do. Okay, so now I want to understand that. That's just like past me, right? But my question is, oh my god, how did you discover masturbation? Where did you start? The pro masturbator. I love my podcast so much, you know, like, this is this red dot. They probably like what the title pro masturbator? I don't mind it. Yeah, like I'm, let me tell you this right now. I know who knows me. Like, I'm very much like, if my friends are kind of like, oh my god, I was just masturbating. Give me a second. And they're like, so if you want the fudge, well, they get so used to it. Because I'm not. Okay, we generally exist on like the two hours of the spectrum. Yeah. Like very much far away. Like how we're sitting right now, guys. I wish you could see the full frame is how we exist. Yeah. So I kind of believe you've never masturbated, Donald. That's the way. Should we keep saying the word? Because I feel like sometimes with, I want to be like, like, with algorithm. Yeah, I don't think so. Maybe just say the M whenever I'm never M before M maybe just to just be safe. Okay, let's do that. Okay, as we were saying, and I only say that because of the algorithm, not necessarily because of my feel like M. I want another word for it. Licking the bean. Scissor. No, because that's like barbie. Barbie's crazy. No, it's a part. I'm the M. I never M. Okay, I can. Because I mean, the question is like, how did you discover it? Yeah. Okay. So I really don't remember when I was younger, I was never fully like sexually curious. But I will say that like, I could, I knew. I think because I lived with like my cousins were boys and girls and everything. Like, mommy and daddy would do all that shit. Like, it was a thing. So I, let me explain what I mean by that. I mean the like, which part? We already like knew. We understood like sex. Like, because like my older brother would have was having sex. Like, I live with uncles who were like women home. Yeah. Like, my mom would have like someone visiting and would know like they were doing something. Like, I was never like the kid who just, I don't think they shied away from like speaking about sex around me as a kid. It was never like, I was also never a child that my mom would say like, keep your virginity or do do do do do do. And like, it was definitely an own spoken role that like because we're not really fully talking about it, you should know not to do it. But I was always, I've always, if you know, you know, I've always been a curious child. So I think it didn't help that like, I had brothers and siblings and cousins and boys around us who like were already not necessarily sexually active, but we're curious. So they would have like P corn. Let's do that. They'll have corn around or like, we knew they were watching corn in somewhere or something like that. And I would say like, as young as like, maybe 10, no, maybe 10 is too young. Like, I think 10 is fine. Like 10 to 15, I would say, because that's when I was like, I think even earlier than that. Well, what is my name? I keep having flashbacks from like prepping the episode. Because I'm so curious about like the age of when this starts. Because for me, I understand why I've never been into it, right? I was like thrown at nine years old into an old boy's school. Super Catholic. Yeah. By the time I even started talking to girls, I was like, 16, you know, so I mean, so it's like, I skipped the entire time. I never learned it. But during the research, like, the range of it's very fast. It's insane. Do you ever masturbate for Tony's behind the camera? Yeah, because we need to know how old are you? 16? What? How do you? I feel like I was like, eight. Okay. So I want us to agree. Let's, let's, let's, this is a small contract here, right? masturbation is bad. Yes or no? No, no. Starting to masturbate at the age of eight is not good because it might be as a result to certain things that you've seen in your environment. No, which sped up the process? No, because I'm fine with like some masturbating at 15, 16, 18 years old is kind of scary. It is like you're like in the fifth grade. Yeah, but eight also is like you're going to just one in Nigeria. Yeah. Right. Cause just one is seven. Well, let's not pretend to like when you're in just one, you're already not looking at boyfriends and girl, like girlfriends at that time. Let's not pretend that. Also for context and you, I feel like I never have to always say this on the podcast, but if you're genuinely watching this and you're a generating supporter, you understand that conversations like this happen without any prejudice or judgment. So we're not talking about this like, oh, from a, cause don't know what it's saying it from a really, really just perspective to, but also from just like we're humans existing. So we're going to talk about fun, interesting, weird conversations. Sometimes it's okay. This is what it should be. This is what life should be. Like, it shouldn't be like, oh, masturbation is bad. I mean, relax. Breathe. Okay. If you're watching this and you're about to stop being, oh, it's a relax. Okay. Your journey is your journey. I'm not forcing you to put your answer. You should go to relax. Let's continue talking. Okay. Okay. So we've talked about like the whole. Yeah. Cause like, just one and everything. I feel like you're already more fun, girlfriend. I will say this. I understand. For sure. That's fine. Because we also like, I went to an oboe school. You went to a mixed school. Yeah. So like, like, I would development in like that area is kind of different. Because like, I mean, so my thing, my eye, when I think about this is my perspective of when you tell someone not to do something, they want to do it more. Like we live in the age now. We're like five year olds. I go into Sephora to put skincare on. Right. They're watching. They already have access to all these things already. And I think sex versus masturbation is very, very different. Like when when we're growing up, we remember the Adam Adam Sandler American pie movies that we all saw growing up. Like that was more. That's what I was watching. I think. Right. And I think when we sell that, we only store from the men's perspective. So I think it's interesting. As a guy here, I feel like people would assume you would be the one who would masturbate more. Yeah. But like, when I seen that growing up, it's always on. Oh, when boys finally realize, oh, the peak and stand, they always want to play around with it. Like it's a normal thing for men to explore. But for a lot of times for girls, they don't explore it. So there's a lot of sexual frustration also because women tend to chase their pleasure by looking to the man because they're like, oh, I can only find pleasure when I break my virginity and when I start having sex, you know what I mean? Which I think is where I sort of like have some issues with it. Because I found my pleasure pretty early. Like I didn't know was the child who like, I think I wasn't looking for it. But when I found it, I enjoyed it. I don't think I think I understood the difference between like an addiction to something versus doing something too much. Some make sense. I think that's what people like tend to draw the line. So like if you're like when people smoke, for example, and they're like, oh, I can't function if I'm less I smoke or I can't function unless I drink. Like there's always an excessiveness to something. Even people who work out that who who work out so much that like they get really, really bulky and then they can't so I think I view stuff like this on the same wavelength. Like the more, I just think things like it's sort of more demonized because of religion, I guess society and all those other things. Because flicking the bean is just fucking flicking the bean. You have two seconds of pleasure. I agree with you. Why would you say that I agree with you? I think the stance that I have in regards to guys is the lack of self-control that you can create. And again, this is coming from someone who has never done it. But I've also had conversations with like friends and like about it. And I think like the lack of self-control that I can create in a man to me is the unhealthy thing. Because you don't want to start something that's like, because I've seen how demonic it can be to like the friends that I have. Interesting. I use the word demonic. Explain that to me. No, demonic in terms of like. That's such a Catholic boy thing to say. Because he's rooted in that, right? A man without self-control is scary. Most men do not have self-control. I don't think it's limited to just not them not holding the dick in their hands. I'm so dead ass right now. Because even the men who masturbate still don't have self-control. So I don't necessarily find that parallel. Because like I think you might and tell me if I'm wrong in this. I think you might draw that parallel because when I first met Donald guys, like you were very like rigid. You are still very rigid. Like Donald has, I think you have a fear of accessiveness. That you think, and I think again, that's rooted in like religious upbringing for the most part. You have this fear of accessiveness where you think if you do something too much, you might get addicted to it and then you can't control it. So I find whenever when I first met you, you were like, no, I go into monk mode where like you spent three months where you don't eat, you don't drink, you don't do all these things. When I know, knowing the person I know even now, whenever I, when I think back out of things you told me, I was always like, I don't think you can, you need to do any of that because you have really good self-control. But I think for you, the level of control, the Catholic church, how don't you then, makes you feel like you need that much structure because all else you don't, you think you're flailing around. Which again, works for you. I'm not saying this doesn't like this is your personality. But like for me, I have never been someone who was in that controlling structure. Like I always, even within the, or Islam or like family, be religious and very strict, I still was a child who was like, no. But I think I agree with you, but I think the whole adjaculation process with men is a little bit different. Because like, it feels too easy to just like stroke your fears wherever you want. And like you be tired. And generally, with like post adjaculation or post not clarity, that post not clarity that you get as a guy doing that and being tired just by yourself. Honestly, I think men are already too lonely to like, give themselves like that. Okay. I have the perfect reasoning behind that. This is all just speculation and Sophie's brain thinking. I think, I think the issue with that is because men aren't fulfilling a lot of other areas. So for me now, when I think the rose toy was trending alone on TikTok, right? And I remember like when girls were saying they were going to flick the bean, generally like for a lot of women mostly, it's a very like romantic fun process. Like it's not necessarily like I'm just do do do do because it takes us a bit more time to get to men. So even the fact that we know it's going to take us a while to fully enjoy it, there's a process that needs to happen, right? We're like, you're sitting nice, some people even on can't do on lights, they'll do this. I'm telling you like some the men are different. They're not doing that. But you see how I mean, but like, it's how you treat yourself that matters in this first situation. Like I understand the ease of do do do do you're done, but there's also an option to not make it that easy for yourself and make an intentional process. Because it's the same way men, when they want to fuck women, they just don't care. Like they're a men who just gets a hotel room, sits down, bring the woman in. They won't try to do for play. They don't try to see if she's ready or not. They just stick the thing in, come out, they not, and then they go all post not clarity. It's the same thing. Why are we then not equating eming the use of masturbation and them doing the same thing with women, an actual human being next to them and saying that's not bad. Because in my thinking, if you're not masturbating, but oh, you find a woman you really like and you're attracted to, you fuck her, you might do it quick, you might not do it quick, but you did it, but that's better. Because at least you didn't just ejaculate on your stomach, you did it on on someone else. Does that make sense to me? I don't understand that correlation because it should be better that you're not using another human who might have emotions and feelings and all that stuff to get to that post not clarity if it can do it yourself. And the fact that you might feel lonely after doing something that should give you pleasure and some level of, apparently, science says if you masturbate even often, it helps you live longer. So I'm shit like that for masturbating. Yeah, but for also for men, if you masturbate too much, you would please do not quote me on this. Yeah, it would lead to, like, go sperm count. That's not true. That's just like a, not actually, it's like, it's a, yeah, it's a shame thing. And also, like, it doesn't at all point that I listen to you right now. That is not true. Are you sure? Very, very sure. So I need to go. And also, if you drink too much, you can get liver disease. No, if you, if you spoke to, I think, if you bang, if you fuck someone, you could get SCDs, there's so many things. I think when the conversation with men, right, let me pass the first. I know, I know. The conversation with men, right? The issue around, like, I see you like with my friends is like, lack of self control is really big. Right? It's like, it's really big because like, we're already lonely. We're isolated. Yes. Right? Guys are isolated. A lot of men are watching corn in their rooms. Right? And I think, for me, I don't think like, it's a conversation around, like, masturbation and self pressure is bad. I think it's like, I would rather, like, the guy go out and like, no, isolate himself because I think for a man, if you're someone who you're like masturbating a lot, more likely than none, you would not even like want to try to like go out. Because men are already like, a lot of men are scared to approach women. Right? They are scared to get into the dating market. Yeah. A man who is watching corn in his house masturbating is not living in his home. And we know this people exist, like, on the internet, right? Like they exist. This is why like, the only friends models are making so much money. Right? So I think it's, to me, is that, you know, because he does something in a man like versus like, I think for a woman, they see what you describe. It's like the celebration. Yeah. And maybe men need to, I just need five, two, three children. How did I agree? It's like, that conversation doesn't happen. Yeah, but it was crazy for me. It's like, whenever I hear men complain, love you guys. Not really. Whenever I hear men complain about something, right? Because we live in a patriarchal society. You guys set the tone for a lot of things to happen. And that's not, I know, it's not seem to go cop out. Boy, generally is the thing. Like if you had a son now, you're passing this lingo and language to the person about self-control and whatever. But that's also not necessarily a fact. It's a feeling, like, a thing that you've been thought. There's no necessarily, like, any research on, okay, is this good or not? Is this proper or not? Like, is this because like, it's different. Like a religious father who's like, okay, my child don't do this and do that. And then for the most part, the child don't end up saying, oh, I was going to actually do that because my father said I shouldn't do it. I guess there's no patience and thought behind something like masturbation, especially when kids are young. Like, fathers just be like, oh, yeah, I did it when I was younger to his find or figure it out. Men don't teach each other. What is the right way to approach that? I don't know. Oh, wait, what's the answer, Tony? No, it doesn't. It doesn't. Like, you know what's crazy to me? It's like scientifically. There's a lot of things that are like, are good, but we tend to, because the pleasure in itself, how do I explain this properly? Pleasure is something that we don't oftentimes get to give ourselves as humans. Like, there's very few things in the world that we can find within our bodies to give us pleasure. That's the one thing that is guaranteed. If you do, do, do, do, do, you're going to feel pleasure, so for anyone who's not doing it well or right, you're going to do it too much. And that's why you get the mentalness of pedantic and stuff like that. But I don't necessarily think masturbation is bad. I think masturbating too much could be bad, masturbating without social cues or interaction is bad. Maybe you might not want the, like, the joints relationship, whatever. But then also the people who started fucking at a really, really, really, really, really, really young age. And they still are like horrors who have sex with three women in one day or three women, excuse me, in two hours. And that to me is even worse. Like, for me, when all of that, because at least I when you masturbate, you're going in. Yeah, like, in my head, I would rather you just sleep in your house. I flick your, it would don't sense. Like, I would rather you do that, that interact with women, because you're looking for a means to wear the middle ground, right? Because I think my actions are a middle ground. I think I'm a great masturbator. I agree. I agree. I think, I think we see, like, sorry, I know me to interrupt. I do. I do mean to interrupt a lot. I'm trying to work on it. No, because like this, this leads me to talk about like shame, right? That's like, for me, where I stand right now, I was like, I don't believe masturbation is bad, right? Would I ever masturbate? No. Why? It's just like, because it's ingrained in my brain, they're like, the shame, I would hate myself if I did it. I would. But it's not even like, I would, because I'm to me, I'm just like, it's easy. And I don't have to. And I understand it like, my god, I love my body, like the candle and all of that. By January, you don't want to do that. Like, I would rather share that experience with someone. And I don't think that's, but I think for someone who loves to share this experience alone, exactly. Please do. Please do that. Please, just don't, like, please enjoy yourself. I generally like that. Because what you said was bringing it with someone and you made it sound special. You don't know me. Like, if you are of the opinion that sex and release in that way should be something shared, I commend you for that. Like, that's good. That's normal way of thinking. Like, I'm never going to say no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Like, if that's how you think, that's fine. My pushback would only ever be if you're saying that. It's like, oh, instead of masturbating, I'd rather just, if I'm looking for, if I need a release, I'm going to go find someone to get it. And I don't think you do that. I think you just run. Right. Yeah. Which is, which makes sense. I was going to say something I forgot earlier, or didn't I? I forgot. What were we talking about before we said, I forgot. I read my ADHD, bro. I want to make sure we don't like dive too far. Because we're dead. Yeah, we're ready. I don't know. I'm a good masturbator. That's what I'm trying to say. I'm a very good masturbator. Because I feel like I don't get shut up. But you know what's cool about this conversation? I feel like this is something that's so taboo. But as we're talking about it, we have someone in the room who's like, doesn't feel uncomfortable talking about it. And I think that's what I always want to release stigmas around things. Like, it really should not be dirty. This should not, doesn't need to be a sex podcast. Something for you to feel like this is a weird thing to have. Yeah. It's normal. You guys, it's okay. Okay. As I was saying. But I think I'm a solid masturbator because I think I do it. I don't even know. I just, I don't do it too much. I don't do it less than enough. I just do it when I want to release it when I need it. And I just, I think about it like a workout. I think about in my mind, anyways, like I feel like it's a workout for me. Like, oh, this is another check off my list if I need to. Like, I think it's like, ice cream or lollipop for me. Is that weird? It's not, it's not weird. I think we also have two different organs. And the relationship to the organs is very interesting. For me, I see my penis as like a second person. Like, I don't, I think he has a brain on his own. Because when I wake up in the morning, I'm like, bro, what's your thinking? It's not what I'm thinking. And like, since I was like 11, I've been waking up like that, right? And I'm like, bro, we're not aligned. I feel like that. But I think for women, it's like, y'all, way more aligned with your organ. I believe so. And the act is more as like, to me, the act of like using your hand to hold like your milk like genitals is crazy to me. Really? It's so crazy. What? To me, like, honestly, it's the same way this, honestly, I'm going to say something very fucked up right now. Tell me. When I think about like a man and a man having sex, which is a woman and a woman. I think about a woman and a woman. I think like, oh my god, that is so great. Why? I think about a man and a man. And I'm like, WTH. Really? Hage? Hage. Hage? What the hell do you want to say? I mean, like, and I don't know why. You guys, let me know in the comments like why that's like, I think it's internalized a misogyny, such homophobia, but that's just self-hatred. Yeah, because like, and I'm like, why is that? Because that's that organ, that guy, I'm like, bro, you're doing too much right now. And for me, I want to control, I want to control that guy. That's why we'll never give him that power. To me, I'm like, what? Because the other part where I'm with someone, I work for that. Do you know what I mean? I work for that. I love this person. I care about this person. But you see, like, me just like sitting in the room. That was like me and you confronting each other. Well, this thing that we're doing, what you're saying is worried me. Let's not actually talk about this. I'm telling you, every single man who watches this majority of men who watch this, would have the same opinion. What did they do or not? I don't think so. No, no, no. I said to go to have the same opinion. No, no, no. Opinion about probably men and men, women, women, yes. By me, more so like, opinion. Yeah, relationship we did. No, no, I think it's different. What lie? I think it's different. I've never heard that man speak about like this. I think your Catholic upbringing is showing out real part. What I'm talking about is true conversations with guys. Like, this is like, maybe your friends are very interested because this is the first time I'm here. And I suppose there are a lot of men about their penis. Also, I also have friends. I also have friends where like we have conversations around like, you know, no having too much sex and like remitting that because like, I think it's your religious upbringing babes. No, but these friends are religious. No, it doesn't matter. Like, it's a lot of like thing. Also, like within our culture, it's true. It's crazy. Within our culture, it's huge. It's a lot of shame when I hear what you're saying. I want to respect everything you said. And then I want to like, break it down a little bit. No, respect. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. But also like, I want to also like, there are things that value, you know, you feel this way. I'm going to change your mind. Thank you. Of course, I appreciate you so much. Weird. No, because like, first of all, I think when you say you're organ and you are separate people, is it interesting thing to say? Because like, really? Because they're not. No, no, no. I don't, I think, again, I push, I say your Catholic upbringing, I really just upbringing because that's something that I think we're raised to think of like, don't let it control you. Yeah. Like take care of it. Control yourself. Don't let to show you that kind of thing. I think that's something that you've had setting your head so many times. And then on the flip side for women, it's oftentimes like, we don't even get to have that conversation. Very few women have done this kind of masturbation. Like, we don't, I think there's a lot more shame involved for girls learning to masturbate than for men. Like, for me, I've just been always curious and about my body in general. Like, I would sometimes remember like, what's that? Why do you look like that? But I know a lot of young girls who are, they don't even open their legs. Like, I have friends who don't masturbate because they just don't want to put anything in there. They don't want to touch it. They're waiting for their hands to touch it for them. Like, it's crazy because that's your body. Like, there's a woman who have like, never orgasm before. And they don't know. Like, I know women who got married as virgins to a man and like, they think their pleasure is linked to that relationship and that person because they've never fully explored what that pleasure could be. Now, for a lot of reasons, that could be religious, could be culture, it could be anything else. Like, there's a few reasons, a motivation for a fucking example of how like women are pleasure is sort of changed and pushed from us, right? So even then I hear what you're saying. And I'm like, it's so much harder for women to find a way to explore that pleasure. And so I also want to advocate for more women to just explore their bodies. Like, and it's not a shameful thing for you to know your body and enjoy it and like it and find pleasure in it. And I think the issue with how what you're saying about speaking with your man or your boy, I don't know what to call it. The guy is the way you speak about it feels like an other when it's a part of you like me and her, we go together real bad, right? And what's funny here, when we're doing things together, no one we're thinking separately. But that's the thing though, you will not necessarily thinking separately because I even had that moment. I don't think this happens to me. Like, you're the only way you don't want to do it. Yes. Yeah. For sure, but you're not thinking separately. It's in the minds of our hearts. Like, you could be in love, but you know, that's not the right thing for you. That's how I would think about that same situation, too. It's like, that sometimes when you want to, what do you say you should go work out, but you don't want to work out, so you don't want to do it. I don't think it needs to be that much of an importance put on an organ that gives you pleasure in that way. I think we society has forced you to put that amount of strictness and rigidity on that particular organ because it says anything. If you don't want to do something, don't do it. So don't try to do it. Don't fight it. Don't force it. So like, I think that's where my thought process comes in. Like, I have a friend right now who like, she's, she's used a vibrator and stuff, but she's never actually used a dildo. And for folks who are new, I don't know, like a dildo isn't actually like inserting something in you versus like just vibrating the clitoris itself, which for me, when she said that, I was like, oh, I don't want to discourage myself. I don't want to lose. I was like, girl, that's not how that works. Like, I understand that. And then I've never used the dildo. Like, I don't put anything in me either. I just use the vibrator. And we talked about it recently. And I also realized it was me also on learning that I just didn't like penetration because of my history. If you've watched the first episode of the podcast, you understand why I just didn't like that version of like inserting something. So I just never did it. But for her, her thinking of it was also the same reason because like she'd gone through something that took that particular area of pleasure. So now I'm going to miss you. I'm like, you know what? I'm going to learn how to do that because I don't want someone else to have that power over me. You know what I mean? And that's like how I'm thinking about it. And I'm not thinking about it from a shameful perspective. I just thought I was like, oh, there's something I've never done before because I thought I didn't like it. But I'm not realizing always because of my trauma. So now I want to learn my body, like even with inserting, I we've been taught like we can't sat time poems because it's going to lose your virginity. And I tried using the period cup once and I showed my hand in there. And I was like, I've never been this close to this girl ever in my life. And it was something that like it's I swear, you guys might think I'm dramatic, but it warped my brain. Like actually having a full relationship with your body is so freeing. Like nobody should have to tell me what I need to do about my body. Like, and I, everything you're saying makes sense because like you are very clear on what you want with your body. So you and your mind understand each other. I want more people to actually ask themselves the reasons why they don't do certain things. If it's religion, valid, if it's shame, okay, I want to say valid book, you know, if it's cultural, if it's trauma-based, if it's just, I don't care about it. Like it's okay. As long as like we do ask ourselves why we don't do certain things. Okay, let's move on now because I feel like as you were talking about it, I'm thinking and I'm like, you know, the thing that you said that happened to you like with the episode that we did, right? It's like from episode one. Yeah. I've been out my joke about it. No, I think even that is one of the reasons, right? Because I often see a lot of, because like nobody's perfect, right? But I often see a lot of men, you know, do like I agree just things like in the world and I'm like, that's what I talk about when it comes to soft control, right? Because it's like, I think it's more of like training, right? And like, I think like for priests, right? Like a priest is like, oh, like I'm not going to have sex, right? And then obviously if you grow up around that environment, it's like just choosing not to do something, not because like it's going to be the end of the world if you do it, where it's like that creates like a certain kind of a character of someone who would also kind of just like, you know when you're afraid of yourself, right? Because like I didn't know that you see people do certain actions and you're like, this person is also a man. So it's like, it's just like wiring your brain in that way. Because I see when you're talking now, I was thinking about it from like corn addiction versus masturbation, like how that is correlated to. Yeah. Because a lot of people too, they find they start masturbating because of corn. So they see corn, find the pleasure, they do it together. And like for a lot of people to that also leads to like over sexualization of themselves, of women, people around them. That's also different versus like masturbating where like it's you on your mind, which I think is also an interesting way to like keep your mind healthy. This is so random. So I actually read a study on that. I forgot where I forgot where I read that from where if you're not necessarily focusing on corn, you're able to like find that pleasure within yourself. I think a lot of girls when they do it, they don't actually watching something. At least you just them and their pleasure and their bodies. It's such a holistic experience. But how many people are doing that though? No, I don't know. I'm gonna count it if people die. I'm just gonna get me a beat. No, because I think like it might you would you would surprise it. That sounds healthy. Yeah, but that's also the same way like eating can be healthier and healthy. Like life is I don't think it's the same thing. I think it's the same thing because that attachment of you watching something or I don't know like flipping when I want to eat I have to watch when I want to eat I have to watch TV. Well, I don't enjoy my food. It's a little thing. I know like you feel like that's a very trivial con. But that's not that's is that a good thing? I don't know the inability to like eat food if you're not watching something. Like, well, that's the thing like we've started like iPad kids are a thing now, right? Well, like if we're on the toilet, we're scrolling our phones. Well, we've been skits where like braiser getting fired. Yeah, right? But like that's the same correlation to if you're doing corn, if you're watching corn, and you want to masturbate too with it, like that one I don't like I don't enjoy corn addiction. It's very over sexualization that like the corn industry is very terrible to women. And man, unless the people of color, we understand that. But again, like, it's there's always the bad end of the spectrum on the good end of the spectrum essentially. Like I never want to always have conversations where we're only focused on the fact that like it's a really, really bad thing when there's also the good of it and everything in life just needs balance. You know, young is a fucking thing. That's where I struggle with because when you say balance, yeah, it's like who chooses you. It's a I think self pleasure is a very intentional thing because it's self pleasure. Like it's you and yourself, right? Like you have to have such a strong mind to be able to limit and control what you can do what you can't do. And even example, you don't drink, right? And then when you drink, like when I met you, you didn't drink for like four or six months and then you said I drink and then you know, and then you realize I don't like how I feel when I drink. I don't. I do. You know, I mean, like I drank two weeks ever. No, but you don't mean like it's like there's, I think it's the same thing with masturbation. Like you can choose what they're not. You like it or not. But do that based on how you feel like it impacts you. I think my issue, and I don't want to use the word issue, but my thing with you when you talk is it feels it's a very heavy. Yeah, it's heavily based on your upbringing. And I sort of be like, like for me, I would never say no to something I've never done. Does that make sense? I must say like you have to. So bad as a thing, right? But I think in this case, I have a clear idea. You don't. And I do. I do. You know, I said you don't. I've had intercourse. Yeah, but I know. No, you can't say that 100% unless you've done something. For the sake of not being graphic, right? I'm not going to sit down, right? Get my really nice Neutrogena. Why do you see? You know, all I see is granite oil. That's how you know. I'm not going to take that and sit down. And what am I thinking about? What is going on? And I'm just going to do. Think about it. The organ looks like this mic. Why? Why not? What do you mean? We're like, why not? Why? Why not? It's just it's too much. No, it's not. It is. I don't think so. Excuse me. I really don't think so. This won't teach you how to self pleasure. Did someone teach you how to self love? Who you mean? Like someone teach you how to love yourself? No, no, no. I mean like the act. Did someone teach you? How did you know? How did you know? How do you know how to follow? How do you know how to love yourself? You just know because you love yourself. I love myself. That's why. How did you know? How did you know how to have sex? How did I know? Yeah. Ah, that's a great question. You know, because for me, it's quite interesting, right? Because I didn't know that women were supposed to be in my class till I was in the ninth grade. I was like, oh, wow, they're new girls in this class. Yeah. And then when I go to university, girls were talking to me and putting my hand under their pants and stuff. Okay. Well, honestly, I would say the first set of women that ever met taught me and they're like, oh, this is what I want. And I'm like, and I'm also like, if I like you, like, I hold with the women who taught you my age. Okay. Okay. Thank God. African men stressed me all the time. Yeah. Because the amount of men I've heard, especially African men, that they'd be like, oh, I'm 11. I'm my maid who was 37 at the time. And they'd be so confident, shining the attitudes to like, oh, my God. Yes. I'm like, made to us. You were more less than I was about to see. I think what that didn't happen for me. But then I was like, I also had like male, like, maids. I think what that didn't happen to me. But that would have been crazy. Okay. Okay. I was going to show what you went for. Yeah. My hats went up. Yeah. But my age mates. Okay. I feel like I pushed back on them because how do you know how do you know how to love yourself? How do you know how to work out? How do you know how to have sex? How do you know how to have sex? People taught you, right? I think that's the same thing. I think it's the connotation, right? Because when I think about masturbation and stuff, I think about corn. See? And I also don't like corn. And what he has done to society. Exactly. And I think that's the negative views of this thing, babe. No, I do. I do. I do. I want to be down here. Have you heard of a masturbator tone? So like a marathon, but masturbator tone. Where you try to masturbate for how long? Okay. So it's an event where participants masturbate to raise money for charity and increase the public awareness and dispel the shame and taboos that exist about the form of like this form of sexual activity. You don't think that's good? I have mixed feelings. What do you think about it? I think that's really cool because I just read the Wikipedia page and they also said it was raising money for like women's health, cancer, HIV, HIV, etc. Which is beautiful. You see, here's a thing. I want to go into tangent here. Sex is such a big thing in our society because of how taboos we've made it. You know that, right? Like men feel entitled to women's bodies because of how society has made sex. We have corn because of how society has made sex. Everything's literally surrounding how society has told us we have to view this act, right? Because if you think about it in the golden before the Abrahamic religions, we lived in very like morally corrupt societies, right? That's what the Bible sort of like tells us or the current. Where it was like people are fucking left and right. We had women and women. We've seen the images, like titties out everything, right? In those societies, the lack of I guess hiding it or like the way it wasn't sort of like policed allowed it to sort of not be as taboo. And then we see how based on that, there was restrictions. Religion came into play. Based off of what I know, right? Religion came into claim. Like, you know, religion has always been developed. Well, based on that, religion came into play and then slowly but surely it became a thing of like shame. Like you're only going to have sex when you get married to only one man for the rest of your life. It's a lot of like policing exactly. But we've heard stories of like women having this power because like the men, they won't offer the men sex until something when they did offer it was like nothing like. But women, there's a lot more power involved in that. And then we've gone to a site in now where it's been so restrictive and so based on shame. That's what we have issues like sex shops being put in hiding. People only watching corn and secret. We've made it to policed to where people are not free to explore. And we know we know because everybody knows when you tell people not to do something, what did they do? They do the thing. They find ways to do it. So even as a kid, if your parents are telling you, don't have sex, don't do this. There's no explanation as to why. Like for me, I was just saying something to a friend of the day and they said how the little cousin apparently like got here saying and then after that, like they have a boyfriend, they might be having sex all that stuff. And I was like, huh, I wonder what age I would, if I had a child, I would want my child to like have that conversation. I realized that I don't think if I had a child, I'm not mom here. I think I will make sure I explained to them. Yeah, what's yeah. I would make sure I explain to them the reasoning behind it. Like not because oh, sex is bad or I'm like, sex is this, you're going to be supposed to put something in you. And then there's a potential for you to have a baby. If you're not ready for that responsibility for that intensity for all of that stuff, then you shouldn't be doing it. You know, I mean, like, it's less of, oh, it's bad. It's policing. Don't do this. Your body. It's for me, it's less of that. And more of like, I want you to understand the gravity of something for a lot of society. Men are told, oh, you can just, you know, do doing your done. There's no control taught. There's no importance put on it. There's nothing like that. They can watch corn all they want. And then women are the ones who are policed. So now we live in a society where women are running away and the men are wanting it. And there is a, what's the demand and supply gap, right? The men wanted the women are in giving it. Or the women feel like they can't give it because they're being policed and sex changed and all that stuff for the men from that soft pressure state would actually help, right? So when they actually do people, actually, they can start that. Nobody should be policed at all. Because I feel like sex is such a sex versus master because we're talking about two different things now. Yeah, I'm talking about soft pleasure. Exactly. I think self pleasure should always be at the core of itself pleasure, like self love, intimacy, all that stuff. That is different from having sex with someone, right? And I think there is a direct correlation with how you treat yourself when you are masturbating, how you deal with that versus how you because if you're always, if you started self pleasure by watching corn and you have such as hardcore and BDSM, and then you go outside and you meet a normal girl and that's what you expect from her without conversation. That's crazy. But also know people who use their brains research, understand that BDSM is not something that you take with force, but more so about like understanding with each other, find somebody who also enjoys BDSM and then they have a full relationship. Does that make sense to you? I said, it's what you're saying. So I think to the man, right, is about like being in control and being a lot more intentional about how you practice self pleasure, not like not doing it, right? Because there are a lot of people leaning into like corn and all these things that like actually the first time they hear it, affecting the brain versus like the, I think for me is like, I think about it's like cocaine, for example, right? When I think about it, like that powder, I'm like, don't try it, I mean it's and that's the same way I'm thinking about it versus like it's not the same. I think the cocaine here would be the corn and the other things that surround it than the actual BDS. Which is interesting. Like that candle voice. Like that candle voice is crazy. All right. I want to bring up an interesting point. Okay. Because this conversation around like self pleasure being normalized for men and shame for women, I agree. But I think because of my stance, I think I've taken it as a shame for myself. But I think I understand that like, for God of men is not. But even the fact that you think of it as a shame to yourself, in some way could also manifest in like a disdain in general for like for a lot of people, not necessarily you for women and act in the sex of it all because like there's also a lot of repression that comes with not masturbating. You have a partner. And for anyone who does don't know, don't know, there's a chronic relationship person, meaning you're constantly in a partnership, which some can also equate to because you're not doing xyz, you're finding pleasure and also having a partner almost all the time. Because you're single, you're just going to be a terrorist. Ah, no fuck to yet. Can you imagine me load it up? But I still like, even if I know have a partner, I think like I would have sexual partners. But see that you said I'm saying. So like even that to me is interesting that you would equate that pleasure to wanting it to be because even then like, I don't know, it's just interesting. I just just interesting. My social media helped or hurt the narrative. It's hard for sure. Like it's so interesting because like over the past couple of years or I would say it's been interesting because we've had like the pussycat pill for girls. Let me play like let me gummy by Courtney Kardashian. It's been a huge thing for women's pleasure. I think in the past maybe 10 in the past decade, this push for women to find their pleasure, find themselves has also shifted in a way around women not getting married anymore. Women not like, you know, there's not a huge drive and uptake of women just being more independent and like seeking their own pleasure. What? That feels my point. What point? That feels my point. That what? If I swear to God, I truly believe that if I was like a masturbator. No, no, I'm saying because no, I'm saying because women are now finding their pleasure. That's what I'm saying. I would not need anybody. Yeah, that's not true. That's scary. That's not true. That's like you going. No, that's what you're going to the extreme end. They're women who are doing this and still wanting partners. We're talking about the ones who are like no one. No, but the issue with that is that a lot of times people, because we think about partnership as like what we're supposed to do, but people are forgetting that humans are humans. I don't understand this idea that people need to find partners to find happiness, especially if we were in society where like we were told for so long by the church, by communities that we need to get married at a certain age. That was it. Nobody's teaching how to be a good partner, how to be a good wife, how to be a good husband. All we knew is like, people need us to get married. And then now we had terrible divorce rates. People were terrible fathers, terrible mothers. Kids were growing up unhappy. We've heard stories. They were with great marriages and people were terrible marriages. So we doesn't matter. Everything that everything that honestly matters, especially in partnerships is if the person in the relationship is fulfilled, like those are the partnerships that actually really work, right? If two people were a whole and they choose each other to figure this life shit out together. And for a lot of times, most people aren't whole when they get into partnerships. Like you're a 23 year old getting married to a 36 year old. What do you know on 23? At 36, you're a bastard. Because why are you going to meet a 23 year old? Do you know what I mean? Like, sorry, no offense. I don't judge. No, sure. But you know, I'm sorry. That to me is the frustrating part. So when you say stuff like, oh, it feeds your point, not necessarily because if we all thought about it, come on, I'm not in space where they want the intentionality. They want the support. But it's not happening because men aren't able to catch up. And that's where the discrepancies coming from. It's not because, oh, people are going to be more lonely. It's because we're not growing at the same rate. We had a timeline, right? Where men were doing because we've seen those movies growing. The American pie was very heavy on male dominates. When you made them, you said, you can fucking, you can party, you can do this, right? I think what I watched those movies. Yeah. I didn't like that image, but also those guys compared to your upbringing and then seeing that image. So that was also a thing that like factored in to how you received that. But they also, young men who received that, I went, yes, that's exactly what I want to do. So we grew up with the generation of men who think it's ordinously cool for you to masturbate and not give a fudge about women, not have emotional awareness, not emotional clarity, not be kind to women, not be good, because you're chasing them for your own pleasure. Because if a man is masturbating, he's chasing a woman for his own pleasure when he can get that pleasure himself. And if you're then getting your pleasure or something, you think to yourself, oh, that I'm going to be single, then do you think a woman is only useful to you because of sex or because of more than that? Because like you said, oh, then I wouldn't need anyone. I don't think it's just a fear. But that's one thing. See what I'm saying? Like, what is that fear rooted in? Because it's really shouldn't my knowledge of what I think my personality is in me trying to preemptively like guard something. But you also can't know something unless you try. I'm not, please do not try it. No, no, no. I'm also listening. But I think this is something I'm also learning to in other areas of my life, right? I'm someone who like you all in yesterday. For example, I took a different route when I was driving coming from the grocery store. No, me. I wouldn't have taken that route. I'm not a person. I'm not taking that route. I want to take the route that I know. But I took the other route that I got to see like the scenery of the city. Now, I don't know if I'm going to like do the things so I can see the scenery of the city. I saw this. I don't know if you've watched everything everywhere all at once. Okay. So someone said that as humans, we have a timeline. I might not explain this as right as the stick talk is. I don't know if I said this or I should send it to you. But again, I was basically saying that like when they said, you know, in the movie, everything everywhere all at once, for you to jump into an alternative timeline, you have to do something quirky. Like you would, you know, slap somebody with a finger or thing or like chuggle eats a Pepsi and something like that. And he was like, people were like, why were you doing random actions? Because as humans, we have direct actions in our timeline. That is within our system. So you have routines. So as a normal person, when I wake up, I do this. I do that. I go on like, it will be so off. I'm aware though. So it might not be for me. But for most people, it will be off to have someone like Donald, like wake up in the day and say, you know what? He feels like he wants to jump in the Hudson River today. That was never happened. But if you did that, the person who jumped in the Hudson River was not the same Donald because you've shifted your timeline energy to something else. You've changed something. You've changed something in the future because that means you've tweaked something in your brain to tell your brain, oh, this is not, I'm not following my actual system. I'm doing something different. Very few people have that knowledge to do something different. And I wish more people did because that's what life is supposed to be. It's supposed to be trial and error. And we have system in place that tell systems in place that tell us to not do certain things, right? Like not have sex under this, which is valid because there's certain things that need to be policed. Like weed and drugs are cocaine, sex, all these things need to be policed because of the, because of how much you can go out far, you can go down the rabbit hole if you do it too much. But also, why don't we then just teach people the reasons why? Because they're gonna always be bad eggs, but they're also gonna be normal eggs who just do it to do it. Such a good movie by the way. Everything everyone's such a good movie, such a good movie. But yeah, I think that's pretty much it. What advice would you give to your younger self? Take some time for yourself, man. Like, I wish we did. I wish, I really wish that I don't know how, you know how Trevor Noah does the, if I ruled the world, if one of my, if I ruled the world would be, if I wish that at some, like our pivotal form in eggs, maybe like 13 to 16, we had like, self days or some shit like that. Where for like two, three hours a day or once a week or something, you just got time for you. Like, and you had activities that would teach you about yourself, about your body, about your mind, about your spirits. I didn't have external noise. I think at some point, after our parents, we tend to be so bombarded by so many people's thoughts and opinions about ourselves, shape how we then become adults. And the people who, I think, go farther in life and people who question everything. So why do I need to do this? Why shouldn't I use a tampon? Why can't I have sex still marriage? Why can't I do this? Why should I wear the job? Why? And I'm not saying that you're, as long as you, your answers satisfy you, then you're good. Because I think for me was, I grew up always saying, no, I don't know why I should do that. Let me find out. I don't know why I should do that. Let me find out. You, you become a cooler human. Because even if you do arrive at whatever decision, because you went through the rigorous process of questioning it, you have understanding and empathy for people who are still figuring it out or who have different opinions, because you respect that. Like every time you're talking now, I'm like, I push back, but I understand where you got to your decision. So I'm not knocking for you. I'm not saying you're wrong or rights, because it's your belief system. It's you. Like whatever you say makes sense, because you've lived your life. Like if you feel like that's the way you want to live your life, all I can do is understand it. That's why I kept saying I respected it. Because in society right now, we tend to just say, your way is wrong. My way is right. Who the fuck are you? Who are you to tell me my way is wrong or rights? That's not true. Like if you're someone who does not want to masturbate, absolutely, please do not masturbate. It's not my opinion. My only thing would be your decision has to be based on your rigorous process on why and why not. Like I would never try cocaine. I've tried mushrooms. I've tried edibles. I know my body reacted to it. I've researched the drug because I've been at parties with people who had cocaine. And I'm doing like with something to do something. But also was like, let me actually find out how this affects your body. That doesn't seem like what I wanted to do. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, I mean, it's just something I want to do. Or I could try and say, if it's anything like, no, thank you. You know what I mean? But I want to try ashwaganda. I don't want to go in an ashwaganda retreat. I want to go on those like blindfolded retreats where like they blind you for like five days and you're going to like being the doc. I want to try because I think that's cool. I researched it. The people who also would never try it. I want to jump the grand canyon. I think I said dumb idea, but I want to try it. You know what I mean? Like as long as you're able to live life interested in trying, I think that's all you can do. Okay. You tell me. I think one thing that I love about philosophy is the fact that like, and I was second to what you're saying, that we're here to ask questions, not to find the answers. Okay. I think one thing I'll tell my young self is to like ask more questions because I feel like I did a good job of asking questions. Yeah. But a lot of my questions were rooted in more outward society things than inward. Like what's going on with myself? And I think the shift that's happened to me, especially this year, is a lot more like internal question. Like social problems, anything that's going on in the world. I'm researching those things. When we talk about me, particularly I'm like, yeah, I'm not doing that. So I'll just say like ask more questions. And yeah, don't listen to those priests, man. Because okay, what's think about it? So we're priests, right? We've heard about priests that will like who, you know, our young boys. Yeah. Right. So if I'm someone who's looking into the religion, I'm like, oh, that's bad because you know, this happens. But again, that's bad eggs in a community of people who are not bad people, right? They're nuns who choose like to not have sex at all because they're not like, I'm not someone who's like, oh, no, no, don't do it. Like no, I don't think that's right. I think it's just how you arrive at your answer just matters. As long as you question things, I think that's okay. And I was going to say something and I got distracted. Fudge. I forgot. It's okay. Okay. So again, I see your lightning round. Rapid fire reactions. Don't all your crack head. You can't be spiritual and masturbate. One, two, three, go. No. Wait, what does that mean? I don't know. Yes, right now. You can't be spiritual and masturbate. Can you be spiritual and masturbate? Yes. Sorry. Yes. Yes. That means I believe that you can be spiritual and you can masturbate. Yes. Oh, yes. Yes. Why do you think that I don't know? Why do I think yes? Why do you think no? I knew it's time to question me too. Okay. So for me, masturbation has nothing to do with anybody else but me. It's so ingrained in my self pleasure. Like I am not thinking about anything else. And one of my favorite ways to even enjoy is when I'm thinking about my person, like I'm not watching corn. I'm just literally driven by I'm like long distance, something I want this person. I'm thinking about them and I'm doing the act. It's never like immersed in like lossfulness of someone else. Oh, it's really healthy because it's like you're thinking about someone. Yes. It feels more like an extension of like wanting to have sex and be with that person. No. Again, for a lot of religions, sex before marriage is taboo and I this is nothing to do with that. But if we're looking at it from just normal people, like I can grind on people, that's what I would think about it. Like I think how you view masturbation is from that idea of like lusting over someone. What would I need a person for if I've been doing this too? If I don't have the control. And in my head, I'm like, I never think about it. I think it's also because like a lot of the things that like entertainment shows us, right? Like from the movies. It's from the movies that we watch. That's true. It's a girl on the magazine, right? Yeah. Which creates like a weird partial relationship, right? They're not like, oh, have you had this person or do you know this person? And then you meet the person outside and you're like, oh, try to control that. That's yeah. But it's like hyperbole. Yeah. Right? It's like, like there are people who are weirdos who absolutely behave that way. But they also people who like don't. Yeah. They just don't. Like I don't I remember like someone and they knew the they had they know their porn star person's name. Like they know the corn star. They know the corn star person's name. They know the corn stars. Followership. They know all these things. And I might have like, I've never, ever, ever. I know Mia Khalifa, but that's because she was trending. Right. But that's about it. Like I've never actively had that relationship with corn or corn stars. I know Mia Khalifa. Yeah, I feel like everybody to kind of my all boy school is to discuss about it. Okay. Well, you know what I mean? So like, I think it's so interesting. Okay. Next one. She's she's a legend. Mia Khalifa is a legend. Don't don't don't don't. Don't creep this. If you're in a relationship, self pleasure means you're not satisfied. That is not true. Absolutely not. I would say, Donald, if you listen to, if this is a clip, and you've noticed this in the main episode before this episode, I would agree with this. Oh, after this episode, I would say snaps. No, you're so dramatic. Nothing. No, with the face. No, I don't think so. I feel like the most beautiful relationship, like sex in relationships are so, okay, I'll give an example. So I've been assaulted before a bunch of times actually. And I said, like that. And for me, I always, my reaction to sex has always been very like someone is taking for me. Like, there've been a lot of moments in my life where when I'm having sex, someone, I was simply doing it for their pleasure, never for mine. And I actually found that self pleasure for me was my way of taking my power back in a weird way. I was like, this is something that I have control over this pleasure. And for a lot of times with other people, I wouldn't come on. This is not a knock to my previous relationship because I enjoyed having sex with them. It just, there was so, I can't remember, it was a previous person I was with who I would literally cry after sex because I just, there was a release that always happened that made me feel exhausted, sad, whatever, so many times. And there's just traumatized people to think about. And I never understood why. And I think about that now. And I'm like, when you're in a relationship with healthy, your pleasure isn't like, I'm, we're going to go into the room. You have to have sex with me. It's a lot more intentional. Like playing games with your partner, introducing toys, being excited to navigate them. Like, I want to open my coach and my partner knows exactly what she looks like. What's in there was up there. What's around it was like, there's a level of intimacy that comes with being in a relationship and I've partnered partner who even wants to enjoy you taking care of yourself. I don't think that there's a slight on their ego. When I think, when I see men talk about how they, you know, they feel weird that my girl's masturbating and I'm using a toy when I got my, I got my dick. So are you going to need that? They'll do put it down. Shut the fuck up. Actually, don't care. I like, like, I remember my wife, first of all, once it, what's happened? I just realized something. Oh my god, Donald, tell us. So when we're preparing to do this podcast, okay. I found a cable in your bag. And I'm like, oh my god. I knew the charger was something. Oh my god, that's my dildo charger. You guys, we got bring the charger for us to show. Please bring the damn charger back on the floor. We need a story time for this guys. Let me explain. Let me explain. Let me explain. Let me explain. So don't call me today. Right. That is crazy. That I just, first of all, the fuck, wait, see that. That's crazy. Give me the charger. Okay. Okay, let's explain this. If you're not watching guys, I have a charger that says, Amazon, oh my god, Donald, no, I did. It's been crazy. Let me explain because now it goes for circle. So the Amazon, it's an Amazon charger head because nothing ever fucking comes with the charger head anymore. And then I have a cable that has a USB cord at the end. And then he has like the headphone jack ending. Like, a circular ending. And I saw that. I don't know. So I was like, this doesn't make any sense to him. So don't know calls when he's like, Sophie, what is this charge? And I'm like, I don't know a fucking headphone because I didn't know my brain didn't know I even go to it. And he's like, no, this makes any sense because if this isn't headphone, then why would he have a USB jack at the end of it? He's like, this is not a headphone thing because it's also too tiny. And I'm like, Donald, I don't fuck you know, you figure it out. He's like, Sophie, I'm going to figure it out. I'm going to get to the bottom of it. I come over to his house. He's still not figured it out. You can tell it's bothering him, but he just doesn't know. We're talking right now. We're talking about toys. And I'm pretty sure because I am a crackhead. And in my house, my toys are always lying everywhere, but also my chargers are too. This is the plug to the vibrator that Tart got for the creators. That's how you saw it. Remember because like, when they got the, I was like, the Tart gave me a toy. So Tart got us like a freaking vibrator for like some freaking PR gifts. Shout out to Tart. As much as I love them. They're for the girls. And this is the plug for that. I actually forgot this damn plug. I forgot the fucking toy and Ghana. I'm so upset. I just thought about that. I travel with my toys. You know that. I also have my travel toy. But guys, this is what this was. And I bought the Amazon plug separately because the toy didn't come with the plug. So I need to buy that separately for it to make sense. I'm going to do some internet reactions. So answer, ask some questions. So we asked the internet. How did you discover self pleasure? And these are some of the options. Someone said by grinding myself against pillows, climbing the high bar outside in school, climbing the high bar outside of school is crazy. I didn't masturbate until I was 25, 26. And I only did a couple of times. Just doesn't do it for me. I actually fucking ate it. I wonder why. Every time I hear people say that, I wonder what the root is. Because if you do not find pleasure from masturbating, but you find pleasure from having sex with someone, I wonder what the psychological thing about that is. Like, is it because you have some shame around it? Is it because you just simply don't know how to pleasure yourself? Is it because like, you know what I mean? This is a shame. You know what I mean? There's a lot of reasons why. Jetted Huck back tub when I was like 10 to 12 ended up with a giant hickey on my leg from the water intake. That's what I've seen with the age range. It's very interesting. Oh, yeah, I think so. I was really young and I wanted to replicate what I heard the adults were doing to see what all the fuss was about. They were right. That's you right. No. That's what you said, though. It wasn't a dull story with my brother. And like, my cousins, well, they're not adults. They were children like us. So I would say that, yeah, maybe with that, it wasn't necessarily adults. I will say though, my first ever thing that I used to use to masturbate was like my teddy. How many years did your brother or didn't you? Ten. Ten years? Yeah. You were eight. So he was 18. Yeah. He was an adult. Like to you, he was an adult. No, my brother has always been a child to me. That was so sorry. Even when I was eight, he was my baby brother. Even as my brother. Yes. I love him so much though. No, because I feel like my first tool was like a teddy bear. That's what I used actually. I remember. And then I, oh, my God, the worst tool I've ever used was the bed frame. Yeah, that was crazy. What? Why am I sharing information? Huh? Dustin. Oh, wait. How do you know that? I can't look at you. It's a bear. I can't look at you. You don't just scratch in my head. You don't just scratch in my head. But the scratch in my head is, I remember when I went to this summer school. And I saw like three girls that were walking from their hostel, but they were all like wearing a dusting bottle over their body. And in my head, I'm just like, I share a lot of shit. My YouTube channel, because she's all right. Tony's behind the camera. Well, that's your lot. When I read your comments sometimes, like, you know, like, how do they know this? Yeah. I thought it was really your comments. Yesterday, someone was like, oh, are you sure you're spending too much money on this? Like, do you? And I'm like, what does this person know this? And then I put on the video and you were just like, you know, I think people hide so much shit. I don't think it matters. Anyways, yes, I also used dosing powder to master a law. That was so interesting. Sorry, my bad. My earliest memory is from when I was six. Don't remember the first time I touched myself for self gratification. And that person said, I discovered self pleasure when I was left to my own devices in the bathtub around age eight. Checked to make sure everybody was on the floor of the house. And I'll position my revolver on the water. Amazing times. See what I mean by even when people started it, they started it hiding, not necessarily like curious. So already, there was a lot of shame involved in it. Yeah. But also, how are you going to have that conversation with your parents? You should be able to. I'm telling you, there's so many kids who have like, 12 year old son of daughter coming to you and be like, Dad, like, I just went my being off. No, because a lot of times kids pick up from, I swear, I hope to God, I am that mom that, if my child ever feels a flicker of, like, people are asking me this question in school or something, I would rather they carry it from me than somewhere else. That's why it's that's what needs to do different. Your parents, your parents are the first, like, you were the first, not my dad. I know, but like, your parents are the first, what is I'm trying to find the word for? Like, the first people you get ideas from, I don't know six, we're like, your parents shape who you are, you're upbringing a lot. So if you don't, if your parents aren't telling you the thing, you're going somewhere else to learn the thing. So I would rather have a child that is coming to me and saying, Mommy, what is this? Someone said, I don't remember the first time I ever did it, but I go and trouble for doing it during that time in kindergarten. Kindergarten is crazy. Babes, I don't think that's true. See what you, but I don't think that's true. Kindergarten, you're three years old. You forget. You're three years old. That's messed up. Alexa, do you have an Alexa in your house? I do. Where's Alexa? Alexa, I saw me. Alexa, why old are you in kindergarten? Blood do. Not sponsored one. Kindergarten is like the first school. Kindergarten is like four or five. Right? I don't think that's true. Right? People masturbate in kindergarten. That's what I'm saying. Imagine as a child learning that. People do in kindergarten. But I say things like, imagine, because kids nowadays know so much, I would rather they talk to their fucking parents about it than hiding out and again in trouble in class, because then your parents can tell you, oh, if you want to do it, do it at home or don't do it at all or learn how to do it, right? If you don't know what the rules are, how would you function? If you don't know the rules of society, how would you know what to do? Well, guys, this is so fun. All right. This is probably the end of the episode. I think we've had some really fun conversations about masturbating. I'm curious to see what your thoughts were before the episode and what your thoughts were after the episode, because I'm really, really curious. And guys, if you love this episode, leave us a five star rating. Leave us a voice note at mysulow.com. See you in the next freaking episode, because I really love this one, don't know. And I'm glad you're back. Oh, we should also talk about the fact that like this mysul is going to be traveling soon, because I'm going to London. So I'm excited to meet some of your like favorite London creatives. So if you know anyone you want me to chat with and bring on the podcast, I also know I have a relationship with. Let me know in the comments. I'm really excited for like my London trip. I'm going to be saying in it, really, really soon. If you guys want to see me London, I'll put my vent more in the comments. Okay. All right, guys. Why aren't you coming to London? We have your visa. You know, password isn't ready. Shit. All right, guys. We love you very much. I'll see you in my next podcast episode. Bye, guys.