An Honest conversation with my African Mom - Ep 23

Welcome to a My Too Loud The Podcast. I just want to let you know, I don't think you've ever seen me this nervous in my entire life. And you might understand why, because the first guest on first of all, welcome back to a My Too Loud The Podcast with Sophie, aka the mother of Audity, and beside me is the mother who gave birth to me, the woman who let this happen. My mom, Mrs. Ibrahim, won't be say hi. Hi, everyone. Guys, if you know me, you know that my mom means a lot to me. I love my mom very much. First of all, I am currently in Windsor, Canada, and we are not recording at home. Clearly this is the first time recording in a studio because my brother lives in Canada and my mom came to visit, and so we're all sort of like hanging out together. And I wanted, we launched these into, and it's been really special, the reception has been amazing. I'm so glad you guys loved it. And it only made sense because we've been hearing you guys wanting a guest, and I want you guys to know that this podcast is pretty special because I just don't want any guests. Okay, I want to be so established that you understand that when people come here, they hear for the truth, they hear it to understand how loud you can get, how vulnerable, how honest, how uncomfortable it could be sometimes. I would thought it would be special to start having guests on the podcast by having my mom here, and you might wonder why I'm so nervous. I'm going to tell you a little bit about my mom and when you have to, when you have to talk. After I will talk. I'm ready to talk. Really? You guys, I wish you to hear my heart beating so fast right now. Okay, so I don't know, I'm so, first of all, we missed Donald, everybody say hi, Donald. Let me say hi, Donald. Hi, Donald. We missed Donald. Is this the first episode as well that I've not had Donald with me? So it's just me, we're raw dogging this, and I'm really nervous. I'll be very honest, and I think it also doesn't help that my mom is here because I feel like if you know me, you know, I yap a lot, but I yap a lot with the idea that my mom is in listening. And every time I yap, at least you would be like, mom, if you listen to this, I'm lying, I'm going to make fun of you since this. Don't listen to it. And so this is the one where I say mom, if you're listening, this is my mom. So I want me 65 years old. She just turned 65. I want me to say introduce yourself for me, OK? My name is Ah, Ola Rewadzu Ibrahim, Nif, Fulami. I am born and bred legosian into the family of the Fulami in Oruki. It's your sad look, I go up means I turn 65 on Sunday, May 25th. I say, I'll hum the delight and which of Allah's favor can I deny? No. He had been so faithful to me, he had brought me to this level. And I say, I'll hum the delight. So to everyone watching, my mom is late, a blessed memory. I love her so much. My father is 92 and hum the lie will still pray for long life for him and good health. And I have two kids. I have a son and I have a daughter who is carrying me here to see the world. So I have two grandkids and a daughter in law, I'll hum the delight. I have all my siblings, some in support, some against, but here I am to say Allah knows best. Yes. I'm going to make me cry. So continue to rest in peace. I mean, you're going to make me cry, okay, okay, okay, guys, I say here's the thing about the podcast. I feel like whenever you see people I think with your moms and this is not not on anyone, it generally is like their moms are you kind to say like, you know, they're Western moms. I feel like my mom is like a very traditional, very Muslim, very strict, when you say you strict. Well, it's 50, 50, some said I am not some said I am, but as far as I'm concerned, I know I have played my role so well to the best of my ability and to what God has enabled me to. So it can be your strict, you can be you are not strict, you don't know how to train children. Allow. Allow. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. So tell us a little bit. So I feel like I like to tell people that I am your wildest dreams. Like I am like the version of you that not listen to anybody. I was just a born and did whatever she wants because I feel like this is me. I'm going to call you out. I feel like when I was growing up, my mom was like my role model. Like she was just, she did whatever she wanted. She wrote everybody. My mom was always like the only woman in a room full of like 50 men and they all listened to her. She did not care about anything. She did what she wanted to do. She was a marketing executive at Evans. She did the local government. She did all of those. You did all those things. Are you wearing the UK too? So tell me, tell us how like growing up, how you were. I'm going to be honest because I feel like you went from that person I know and now you're a bit like calmer and I don't know if it's age or it's just like whatever. What would you say? Well, I know that when I was growing up, I wouldn't say it was tough. Well, it was, it was neither here nor there. I mean, the family of 21, 21 siblings. Yes. And I'm the number one. So you, you know what that means? You have to be the mother to everyone. And I think I was able to play that role. I had to do a lot of sacrifices, even to my siblings, to my siblings, children and today I'm so proud of everyone because we had all come out to be good and better. And I'm still praying that you know everyone with one challenges or the other would overcome them and will continue to be better and greater in short. Well, I started my journey into primary school, secondary school, the university. Fortunately, I went to UK. I did marketing. I wanted to do pharmacy because I've always loved to be in the science world. But unfortunately, you know, for one reason or the other, I had to, you know, you know, go back and you don't get something done because there were challenges from back home. And I felt like rather than come here and then just be doing nothing in the society. Why don't I just quickly go in? So I did my diploma in marketing. I was going back for my masters in marketing. Unfortunately, I was forced back home the African way. So when I got back home, it was tough. I had to go back and do my NYC and after NYC, I had to struggle later. And you know, in those days, I'm the number one. I don't have anybody to report to. I don't have anyone to go back to to say, please help me beg daddy or help me. Everybody looked at me as a role model. I cannot disappoint anybody. And once your daddy said this, you have no choice. Your mother can see otherwise. So she will keep telling you that it is whatever your father wants that you must follow. So she will beg me day and night, no, no, no, that's what your daddy said. Your daddy said, you must come back. You have to come back. So I got back without bringing in anything except my salivicates and my passport. But to go be the glory today. So I have to go and serve in Bouchie because I wanted an escape route out of home. So and that was how I started and I did my NYC came back to nine Legos. I got my job and I ended up in the Evans and I ended, you know, started from Sil's rep. And I remember the day the way I saw the adverts, they said age 25. And as at that time, I was 30 years. And I said, if what is the difference between 25 and 30, whatever it's 25 can do. I can do better. So when I got in for the interview, I said, you should please shortlist me. I was shortlisted and I got there and at the interview, I remember very well. The man said, no, but you don't qualify you are 30. I said, out of all, everyone here, do I look 30? You know, I can do it. Just give me if I can't, if I fill in three, there are three, six months, please suck me. And throughout I rose from that sales rep through cost of services, managing the in and out of the products, both raw and finished goods. And I ended, you know, you know, retired as the commercial manager, managing the distribution and receive and distribution of raw and finished goods. So I'm really like. And after that, I joined and, you know, I was commanded, I was only a girl among all this men. She was. So you said something, I want to bring you back to, but you said something about how like, you wanted to escape home. Why did you want to escape home? Yes, escape home is because I want to escape from home, you want to see the world. Yes, no, no, see the world because when I got in from UK, I was forced to come in. Yeah. It's not at my own real because my, my plan was to study, get a job, set you down with my life and then move on. But unfortunately, my, you know, I was forced, my daddy had to say, no, no, no, no, no, I had you. I'm not doing, you're doing this, you're doing that. What are you doing? I was, I was not doing anything because number one, when I got there, it was supposed to pay my school fees. Unfortunately, for whatever reason, it felt that it doesn't have the money, I'm sorry, it's still living. But for whatever reason, I go back and I had no choice and to say, oh, the pressure in that house was so much for me, that nobody wants to see me, but she and humbly lie. I'm sure the, the, the several well to do people of today, they all have their stories to tell. So this is my own story, which is, I still have cause to say, I thank God because you had not, you know, forsaken me, I've been able to go through it and I've been able to achieve wherever I am today. What is one thing in your life that, from that time that you wish, you did differently? Yes, maybe I should have said no to my dad, and then stay back in the UK and then see whatever it is. I mean, that's only thing I can see because even some of his friends and, you know, they, they, it's like, don't come, you don't have to come, just don't worry, you don't have to come. And I'm sure if I ask in this today, today, you might not remember. I might just think, I know I was protecting you, like, you always tell us that you know, I'm protecting you people from your, your mom is a children, I'm always protecting you, what's, hey, with give God all the glory. So would you say that wanting to escape home, do you see that in me growing up? Well, let me ask you this one, let me ask you this one, how similar do you think we are? Well, I was similar to the termination to achieve. Okay, okay. Yes, that's his, because even me, it was like, okay, no school fees is coming, no problem, I go to, I go to be, you know, to achieve my aim, I must not do real, I must not fail. That's what I see in me, and I can see in you that you are determined to, you know, to make sure that you achieve the best in life. What's, it might be different from what I was expecting, it might be different from what you are thinking, but the basic thing is, we both have a goal, we go to achieve. So, in those days, when I was growing up, we are forced to, okay, this is what I want, you must do it. Yes, sure. What's the kids of the children of nowadays, you have to persuade kind of, you know, puts your hand over their head and keep rubbing it and say, no, shout, Joe, please, do it. Don't, don't do it this way, do it this way. This is what is expected of force, not because of fear, but because of the year after. So, this we're talking about that. One of the first things people know about me is whenever I talk about like, oh, my mom, my mom and I are really close, but I remember like when I first started doing social media, it was very hard to explain to you what I was doing or on why and when we talk about like, I was being very different, I was being like very similar in how determined we are. I think about how like, whenever I was doing that, I was saying, I know you, like, when I see you, like when I'm like, oh, mom, let's do a TikTok or come on my podcast. I see that version of you very well. Like, I see how like you are willing to always be there for me through everything, but there's always this hesitation. So, why would you always say you're hesitating? Is it because of, is it because it's something new? Is it because of shame? Is it because of fear? Is it because what is it? Well, initially it was, I never knew it was this deep and, oh, you know, that's a word, right? Like, it's not that deep. Yes. It wasn't this, well, it's deep, right? Yes. That's it. Yes. It's just like saying in the Euro, but I mean, I'm a good, so initially I find it so difficult to comprehend. It affected my mental health and what's, but it's time I see people, family coming to me and saying, ah, sister me, ah, and see, ah, Elijah, better than God, she's not doing anything negative. She's not doing. If it is the other way around, what would you say? And that blah, blah, blah. So I begin to come down, coming down to her level, saying that, okay, let me even go deeper. Let me see what is it? The only aspect we agree on is my hair. And my concern is on else wise. And then also, what are you doing? Say woman is supposed to have hair on her head, cover your head and blah, blah, blah. But hey, if that is what we are doing, but we are not doing the other way around, we are not into negative things. So I begin to look deeper, going in, check, sometimes when I see the pop, pop, pop, then I'll just go through it. The one I don't like, I'll send that message and say, ah, why this one? Why we are this levy again? And then she will say, what I see that I have done, there's nothing, there's no big deal about it, blah, blah, blah, okay. If I see the one that's okay, I'll comment and say, oh, I love this, just keep it up. God, God in His infinite message will guide us, blah, blah, blah. So that's true. That's I think that is, that's the aspect of it. Okay. So let's go back first. How was I, what was I like growing up? Yes, from your childhood, you've always been that you want to be, you want to be seen. I think let me put it that way, right from North Street to primary school, even if you go to your primary school today, definitely they're going to say, yes, oh, that's a zero K, you know, so fears of fear, you know, I'm the light. So to secondary school level also, same thing happens, even all to the fact that the principal to tell me that she's going to be a social preference. And I said, social preference, okay, just let Uncle continue to do our work and pass and go out, you know, and we're able to make an impact. So that period she called me, I said, mommy, I want to do something. I don't want to be social preferred without anything. And then we organized, we brought in some three speakers, oh, wait, I remember that. Brought in three speakers. So to talk about the talk to the students on different topics, I can't remember now. I did that. And it was such a good one that at the end of the year, when they were passing out, she, you were able to get, you know, based on what you did to impact on people. I think that was one of the reasons why you got this scholarship from Bank of W. So I've always seen that in her. So, but, you know, for someone that come to the United States, study first degree, has the Brazil to go on and do masters. And then suddenly, we now begin to see both guys, I mean, a social something here and there. Sometimes I'll tell her, please go and look for work. And then she will tell me, mommy, I'm searching. And then the time she got this job from, for a fight of voices, I was so excited that, oh, Mrs. Clinton, Hillary Clinton is the president, I say, oh, my God, my baby is going higher, higher. So, she said, ah, mommy, I have not done that one. I'm going to do this one again. I want United Nations. And I begin to ask people around, please, anybody that can link me up with nation nations and our points, man. And the basic thing is that she's been able to sustain herself with or without a man or whatever, that's I know. And that's what I know. And I know that if it is the other way around, I would have had it from one or two of our friends. But she's active, just like I'm a restless person. I was able to train my two children, I'll hum the real life. So whatever they are doing today, that's the society, but I have done my best as a mother. I don't say it like every, I'm opening my mouth because I feel like you can see my face in shock as my mother is talking because we never talk like whenever, like, have conversations like this. Usually, like, I want to say something, I want to say something, and I immediately have my wall up because I'm not going to understand. And I think it's a very interesting dynamic because, first of all, I was the first child to travel abroad by myself coming here. And I was already at a child I wanted to be seen, and I called for a very Muslim background to clear your month and a laja. So I know that my entire family is very religious like that too, and she had this very opinionated students because we all sort of grew up together. So it was not weird that my auntie was just one of my aunties and I'm just calling my phone right now. We're a very large family, but we're also very close. And so I think I was a little bit of the first people who was just very stubborn, who like, didn't listen. I think my mom felt bad when they tell me if I'm wrong. Did you feel bad because you stopped because Daddy wasn't there? That's why I was doing things. Did you believe yourself, Jorge? Yes, initially, yes, because I had to look at it and then look at myself, look at the way I brought you guys up, the way we have lived together. And sometimes I would look at it that is it because they don't have a fatherly touch or something. But at the same time, I looked at some other families, they have the father, they have the mother, and they don't have a hold of the family to control in a little bit of my assistance. I think, even if I have a regret, the regret is not about not having a father, a figure or not. I don't believe that maybe I wasn't pushing enough, you pushed enough, I pushed enough. Because I don't think at this age and time I have to take our sweep and begin to say, you have to do it by force by fire. The only thing I can do is I keep praying and I keep hoping and I know that you, I mean, you all know it. Like if I talk to the brother, the brother would say, Mommy, you have trained us, you have taught us life. So if we are doing otherwise, that is to our own dentry men, is it dentry men? So it's not you. So please relax, let's your mental, don't anything affect your mental health, just be yourself. Be happy. See yourself as, look at the good things in this, in this are what your children and then make that to suit your heart, so tell me, do you think I'm a good child? Do you think I'm a good child? Yeah, a good child because what is the definition of being a good child? A good child is someone that would listen and then if you are not, if you are not going to do exactly what we have been asked to do, you want to show a reason why you are not doing it. Okay. Sure. And then a good child is, I've not, I've not had that you drink or and then you fell inside. And I'm the like, a good child is, you are not, it's not as if you have everyone around you and they are all main clustering about you doing all kind of nonsense. It's strictly your work and your work. That's true. So far, so good that I know of, you know, and I don't think I want to doubt that. Mm-hmm. So you've been very at working and I want to commend you for that, that you keep it up. But the only aspects, you know, where we always disagree, this is the old world listening to us now. Yes, not the whole world. It's like, my part, whoever is watching that all over the world, they are, they are, they are. It's not just Canada, it's not just America, it's not just Nigeria. So we're all over and I thank God for that. Okay. I want to say that I wanted this podcast episode specifically because whenever a lot of kids, people that follow me say that, how am I so bold online or how am I so courageous with parents who don't understand you or who don't know what you're doing or don't want to, like don't want to listen essentially. Like, I have so many young girls who will be like, I want to chase after my dreams, I want to do all these things. And I'm always telling them, like, there's not as if my mom supports me 100%. Like, you might say, like right now we're recording, but as I walked out, she was like, I ain't not going to wear a jacket, she was like, I ain't not going to do this. Like, I still, on she still holds, she still tells me what the things that she doesn't like, but you're not imposing it on me. So what's some advice you have to parents listening, who have a child like me, who is stubborn, doesn't listen, who wants to do their dream by force by fire. But like, you still, you still show me love, you still show me respect, you still take care of me. I know there was, there was never a time, besides the one time you were in Dublin, we're like, we stopped talking essentially, like we're always like, even if we're crying on the phone or we're shouting at each other, it was still like, it's all because I love you so much. It was not because I would ever say, man, my mom would never speak again. So what's some advice you have for parents who are dealing with a child like me? To, to parents out there, I'm just one of you too, the best way to handle it is hand everything over to God, your creator. It is speculative of your belief, because for everything in life, you don't have control over them. That's true. This is your creator and for every, everyone has his own way to live and how to go about it and how to achieve it. The best thing we can do is to guide them. Do it this way. This is how it is done in our days where, like, I was a day, I was talking to one of my friends and I was almost crying, you know, well, maybe I was even crying. And then she said, laundry, would you be like, big matahua, no, man, we're all spans. We're all spans, yes, but we don't go almost naked, but that's the society we are in today. We are begging and we are axonal God, that's, you know, to make sure that we not just look at this world, we look at the hereafter, which is even, you know, more, more, more, more, hundreds of years. The end is, the world is coming to an end, I've had this, when my grandfather died for something years ago, what the world has still not ended and, you know, so we're still not to be sure when the end, you know, the world is going to end. My mother died eight years ago, it was like the end of the world is coming to an end. So to us, it's, we just have to be patient with them, let them see reason why we are guiding them. Let's make sure that they don't go into drugs, they don't follow the negative side of the world. Once they're in one season for survivor, once it's for them to achieve their dreams, really, respectively, whatever we think, we can only guide and then advise. And then if you, if you send your child, like somebody said, you cannot throw the baby with a dirty water. Okay. And then you can't throw out the baby with a dirty water. So you have to keep, throw the dirty water and then keep watching your baby. And then no matter how bad a child is, you will not say, oh, okay, this necklace I bought is so good. I'm not going to put it on my baby's waistline as we talk it in Europe, or when you're in a blue, blue city, I feel like I see the oil on me. So it wouldn't be that bad for me to now say, okay, Sophia, I don't want you as a child. I'm going to take the next door neighbor's child. It's not possible. Even if I do that, some parents do that though. Some parents do that. Some parents say they don't want their child anymore because the child is not doing what the parents want. They do have no choice whether they like it or not. It might be that period of time and years to come, they'll go look for the child. Because if you have to go look for the child, it might be too late. So that's why where you are doing it, where you spank your rope. So when you spank your rope, spank and rope is like when you just make sure you do it. Sometimes me and she will always disagree all the time. And when I say, I won't call her, I won't do this, but at the same time, I will think about it that you are not obviously placed nights and you're saying, you're not calling. So just find out what she's doing. If you don't guide, if you don't monitor, if she knows that I'm monitoring her, if she wants to go 10 steps, she will probably go off or probably go to steps rather than going all the 10 steps. That's true. So that's what I have for mothers and fathers, you know, just mothers. Some fathers will say, oh, she's on our own, the mothers will say, oh, she's mine. And then that could even divide the home. What the basic thing is, see it as your own and see it as a challenge and put everything before Almighty God. It would always find a way through. For instance, I have families and friends that have come to me that, oh, the oddity, oh, she has changed my daughter's life. I was in a party and two ladies, two girls came to me and said, oh, your oddity is mom. And I said, they said you are so soft. Is mom, I said, yes, I am. And the next question I asked was, oh, did you go to home science, because that's the secondary school. She said, no, no, they are there are followers on the, on Instagram or Instagram or whatever. And immediately I just said, oh, my God. And the lady, the girls now said, oh, mommy, I'm delighted, thank God for your life. You have brought us, she has impacted so much in our house, in my house, in my family, in this. And I was like, oh, my God, something that me, I'm crying upon every day. This my last trip, a lady on the flights just said, are you so soft as mom, the oddity, I said, yes, I am, she has to report that I first shy, it's a mixed feeling for me. I need to be to comment and say, you know, it's a mixed feeling, but I want the best for her. I want her to achieve what she wants to achieve. A lot of people have done it, the vegetables don't leave the worship of Allah, your creator. That is my, you know, you know, that is where we stand. I'm sorry, five. You're not five, but we don't fight, which we address ourselves, because all the glamour of this world is absolutely nothing. The hereafter is now I dress modestly. In those days, I can go for 100 and something thousand sleepers, not the sleepers. I can go for this. I can go for that. Okay. So see, I want to talk to you about that, right? Because like, the mommy I knew growing up, like, so you just said that your friend was like, okay, you guys just do wear certain things, certain things. Like you, I know for a fact, mommy, okay, let's ask, let me ask you different questions. Have you ever drank alcohol before? No. Mommy? No. Mommy. No. Okay. Okay. Okay. Well, I reached cream back. I think his belly is right. Yes. That was in the alley, and that's, it's not, see, if I drink, I'm okay. I'm not saying you're drinking, drinking or anything. No. Why don't you end the UK? No. In the UK, I did not. Mommy. No, honestly. Did you smoke? No. Really, not cigar. No. No. No. No, my friends, they were watching it and they could come up and tell you. No. I don't have any reason to. Did you, how do you waste to your mind? To do what? To have. No. No. You did it? No. What do you mean by that? Eh eh. I meant your daddy after. Yes. So you're 27. Eh eh. So I had a relationship. You did? Yes. I had a relationship. I didn't know this. It was a Christian. What? And that is my daddy and mommy said no way. No, it is from a Muslim background, but you know, my story is when I was when I said UK, I was forced to come back. Yeah. So I was forced into how do I survive then I had no choice that, you know, how do I manage myself? I mean, I think I was 21 or 22 when I left, I think so. I think so. Your mind? No. That's age, you know, that's time. So what's anyway? So that was what happened. And so when I got back, I was forced to come back, right? So when I got back and I wanted an escape route, when I kept saying escape escape route because the house was so so tough for me. And I couldn't, my mommy was, my daddy said, whatever you say, follow, follow. So I don't have any elderly person to go to. So my siblings look up to me that whatever auntie said is what they would do. You understand? So I was looking for a way to make sure that I put the record right, make sure that none of them fall into the same pits as I do. So that was when I met your daddy and I was like a love at four sites. And then we ended up being where we are today, yeah, thank God for life. I mean, you're talking now. Yes, you want me to talk now. I'm learning so much. Where did you go? Where did I see it? No, Donald is going to edit a bunch of stuff. Okay. So how do you feel about social media now? Because you've talked about how like you feel uncomfortable about it. But I feel like now, I don't think you still know what I do. I think you just know that I post online or do you have an idea of what I do? Well, what do you do? You sit down, you record the last two days that we've been together in Canada now. So I've seen you always on your phone, always on your laptop, always on your tablet. So even if anybody peeps into what you are doing is you're typing, you're saying something is I see we are looking at pictures that are at our feet. Yeah. So that's so much I have seen. Even when I visit you, I know that you're always, mommy, I'm working and I can see the schedule of your meeting. So that's giving me the piece of mind to say that, okay, what is about social media, social media is all about looking at what you can pose, what people can, you know, get out of you. The best they can get. And you are not posting things that will make anyone to say, no, my church will not follow this one, other than whenever you are with a, I don't know. So that's so fast, so good, okay, yeah, I'm still okay. And I know that I might not be 100% okay, I'm still praying and I know that God will intervene. And then the aspect of yes, the aspect of the other side that I don't like or take control your, their visit to the beach or something. Oh, okay, okay, let's go on it. Okay, guys, I'm Muslim, right? And my mom's biggest issue with me is modesty. So if I wear the hijab, I'll be fine. Well, not necessarily wearing a job. Just not posting bikini photos online. Exactly. So then, and then, you know, making sure that I say you dress modestly, that's it. If I never did, because for me, I'm also 27, 28, right, I'm not going to be 40 posting bikini photos. Maybe if I go to the beach, I might post something, but I don't, they're like, I'm not going to do this for the rest of the life. No, I know. And I don't think people think I'm this sex symbol or not, who's doing all these things. So for me, there was one time that I think I just got an award or something. And you do not see that award, but I went, I think I went, I posted a bikini video something something about being at the beach at the pool. And it hurt me so much because I was like, you didn't send me the award post, I posted it, but you sent me bikini photo to say, what am I still doing this when I'm doing so many different things. So you're pointing out the one thing you didn't like and you never really mentioned or talk about the things that I do like, and it feels like sometimes you don't take the time to learn about the things that mean a lot to me because you're still focused on the fact that like, oh, my hair is short or I'm wearing, you know, a bikini online or I'm doing all these things. So the mother, that is a spectate. No, it's not. No. To us at our own age, it is a spectate. And it's the same thing. You've seen your brother when he was spanking his son on what is not necessary. And I want to look at it. I say, what was I telling you this morning? As well, anytime he spanks him again, I'm going to get my parents spanking back because he did worse than what did a little child, my little angel is doing, you understand. Also, as a grandmother, you're very different. Yes. Actually, he's no one to say so though. I don't think, but I don't think you discipline me. Well, because you have such an adorable child. Yes. Yes. Even when we have so much people in the house, you're always after those people for them to be more comfortable and even if people please ask themselves a baby, what are people? Who's that? No, there's a lady. Oh. Oh. Sorry, guys. I had to interrupt that. Beautiful program because a lady came to know, because I parked in the driveway. I am not in America. I'm in Canada. I do know when I get a ticket. So that was what interruption was. Um, what more are you saying? Do you remember? Yes. That's, um, we, we cannot, uh, you were asking me if I have a drunk or have a small or. Yes, yes, yes, yes. And I said, no, while I was in the U.P., you drunk Irish cream. That was it. When I got to Nigeria and out of a pleasure or whatever and it wasn't drink. It's only when we go on social, social parties and then they now say, you have to drink and you know, we don't see Irish cream as alcohol. Yes. I remember I was a kid growing up, like, what, we should be like, no, it's not alcohol. It's not alcohol. That's it. So, so definitely we don't see it as alcohol. We don't see it as an, you know, kind of appetiser drink kind of. You know. And it's massive. I'll put your bottle in my head, you know, front and then finish your bottle. Maybe even a glass. I did do I finish a glass, but you know, social reason to that level. Yeah, for social reason, you know, you want to be part of it, but you've never been drunk before. Never in your entire life. No. Really? No. Really? That's I can swear with my life, but I don't have to ask a Muslim. Yeah. Yes. So if I told you I've been drunk for all you say, well, I'll be disappointed because I look at it that I never for once asked any of my children to say, Oh, go and buy me a stout, which is a regular drink. Yeah. And get a stout. You know, that like it's not anything to do with you to yes, I know. And it's also habit like even the most pious people, right? Still, if anything are humans and they deal with their stuff, let's talk about us, right? I'm very love for example, like we never had alcohol in the house. Yes. And I also never drunk. Oh, I never drunk. I think it was 21 because when I came to America, you know, college, you'd be like, Oh, you don't drink but drink age 21. And then when I did drink, I was like, Oh, I don't like the taste. I think the first thing remember at my brother said, when I first drunk, I called my brother because I remember really close. And I was like, Oh, alcohol is disgusting. And he's like, thank God, you would be happy. That's exactly what he said. Because of course, kids are going to be kids and are going to be curious. What I will say is you never, you never made it feel like it was a no, no, not to drink, but like it was bad if we like if we like you hit us as children, if we did. Does that make sense? No, it's a hit. Yeah, you are very like, don't do it. But you're not. I don't know your reasons why you should not do it. I think you made it at least for me. I can speak for myself. I think you made it healthy for me to ask questions. First of all, and also explore. So I don't think as a child, I think if you had told me, if you don't, if you don't never do this, if you do this kind of conquering on all those things, because if you had said that, I think I wanted to do a more just to prove something different. Yeah. So we still want to be stubborn, essentially. But I think with me, I wanted to try because I'm like, why did you say national poor mind inside? Let me put my hand first and see if you bonds me. Okay, I'm not putting my hand inside the fire again. And if it doesn't, then it doesn't. So that's how I kind of see things now. And I don't drink. Do you believe me when I say those? No, when you say it's most of the things you do or say, I, I have on represents believing it. That okay, if she says this, but of, you know, when you, when you go out, okay, and you meet different kind of people, you socialize in quotes now, you on the same level, yeah, your social media kind of thing. And then you see them, you know, social media is not bad. No, it's not. Okay. Is it is like a professional? Yes, it is. So I feel like if this was in your world, you'd be a social media influencer. So it's, it's like a profession that, you know, this is what I have taken to make people learn to make people smile or to make people see that, okay, this thing is not really, really bad. You know, even in the Islamic way, they tell us, don't all the social media, social media, what's all of these lectures we also hear through the social media? Yeah, how's what to say also post on? Yeah. So it depends on which way you are looking at it and where you are coming from. So so far, so good. I've seen a lot of people telling me, this is whoever will say is terrible is because of your modest way of dressing. Okay. Yes. That's, that's the only aspect. But in terms of what have I gained, what they have gained, even your senior brother, your brother called me and said, his daughter is your follower. That moment, do you know, Alaya? She is a official of Sophia and in the oddity. And I said, yes, Sophia, that is the oddity. What is the problem again? And he said, no, my daughter was the problem again. Yes, you know, you know, because you're not too sure is the 50 50 thing. Some people will come to you and say, ah, hey, she's this, she's that. And some people will come to you and say, mommy, and the people that come to me to say positive things are more than those will come to say, ah, she's this, she's this because of the religion aspect of it. She's this because she's a lady. She's this because we have a way of presenting yourselves. We believe in our culture and in the society of where we were coming from. That is just like putting a naked sweets on the floor. A lot of ants will come to it. Okay. Right? Okay. That's what we believe. So when we see you not being modest enough, we believe that, oh, that girl, she's this, that boy, she's that. Okay. So we don't see anything positive out of the dressing. So can I push back and say it should be also be flipped as a woman? I feel like women are oftentimes sexualized. Because I remember one of the first videos I ever posted that went viral was me talking about being a woman with darker armpits and darker bomb bomb area and everything. And one of my uncles, no, uncle Kenny, no more, but one of the other uncles, someone should call me and was like, you know, why am I naked online? It puts in the family group. And I said, in that video, I'm raising my armpits and I'm pointing to my armpits. I'm not saying I'm shaking my bum, bum, or I'm not being sexy. I'm passing on a message. And why as my uncle, I look in that video and telling me I'm sexualizing or I'm naked online, when that's not the case, why don't you listen to the message instead? And I remember like you're when you send that video, you also didn't listen to the video. You just saw, look at her with her bikini on and whatever. And every time I do post content like that, I understand it from the religious perspective. So I'm never going to say, you're never going to accept me from that angle. Like, I don't think there's ever going to be a time that if I wear shorts and a shirt that were ever going to, you're not going to look at me and go, is that what you're wearing? Like, I'm okay with that. But I want you to like, I want to understand if it's going to be a point where you're just going to be like, Clarfici, see, like what are we going to do about it? Yes, because you know, when we when you started your, your speech, you said, Mommy, I'm not 40. And I'm not going to be like this forever. Definitely. I know if I put something tomorrow, you're going to say something about it. Yes. But it makes me feel bad. That what that you're judging me? No, I'm judging you. I'm not judging you. You see, oh, judging, judging is a different. If I'm judging you, I will judge you and tell you that, oh, you're dressing I'd made you to be this today, you're dressing I'd made you to be that today. But I'm just telling you in the aspect of being a lady, being a girl, being a woman, that you're going to be very soon. Then you're going to be you're going to get married, you're going to have your children, you're going to have your home. Yes. So that's that's the only aspect where I'm looking to understand. And then the our our culture also, that's our that girl, her this girl, what's the basic thing is we're moving forward because what where where we are two, three years ago is not where we are today now. And you also you are expanding, getting more attention, you know, like when you got the messy same job, yeah, it was another good step. And then now you're into delta, right? So let me explain that to you now, right? So these jobs, I feel like I have to tell you these big milestones, because that's how you see the seriousness of my job. But on a sometimes I don't need macy's or delta, I do please brands, please I need the money. But I don't need those validation, because me alone now, me posting on my podcast is big. Let's think about this as radio. Like imagine the radio of the dudes that you were listening to and channels TV and all the stuff. This now is instead of me waiting for somebody else to give me the platform, I'm creating my own platform and talking for myself. So when people come to you and say, your daughter audits is doing did it is because I've created my own version of TV for people to now watch me. That makes sense. So that's how this works. Because in the end of the day, do you know what my goals are? Is that what the problem is you don't know where the end is? You don't know what's this? No end. What did you say? No end? Should I explain it to you? Yes. Okay. So I want to be on TV. I want to have my own TV show. I think Oprah or Ellen DeGeneres. Okay. Like I want to be an actor. So I want to be acting in movies. Why did you face like that? I want to hear it. But tell me. No, I mean, I think I stand as anything or audition for any role. Okay. Like TV show movies, red carpets. Okay. Okay. That has no good. You don't like that. No, it depends. You see, the I'm not saying don't do anything. Okay. Okay. What's what's will give me joy or inner joy or outside joy? Now make me laugh. Oh, my shoulders are eye up there. I see you being modest. That's it. That's me. I mean, I'm just not going to happen. It's going to happen. No, I'm not going to do this. What are you wearing? That's not going to be me. Hey, I know you won't wear this. No, I'm saying like I'm not when like right now you don't think I'm more that's what I'm wearing. No, you're okay now. Why was the was the no, the basic thing is you are covered. It's not a you are covered at least. Let me just put it that way. So and we're getting there. What if we're not? What if tomorrow? Yes. Because I think when you say that now, my what's my reaction is, but that's not the issue. Like I don't see modesty as this big giant bad thing, except actually you fart. No, I will do that Sunday. You guys see where I get it from? Don't keep that in. No, I didn't. So I don't know what you're talking about. I just said my bumble. Um, what was that? Um, what if I don't want that for myself? Like what if this is the new norm? Whatever it this is? Because I feel like everything you're everything you're missing, your judgment of me on is from a religious lens, right? And the culture. What culture? You're about culture. You're about culture. But if you say English culture, uh-uh, you can't say English culture either. Yes. Because that's not true. English culture in what sense? Is he America? Is he London? Is it like what culture is English? And what culture is you're about? Because in the Netherlands, it's the same like Iran, Kenya, that will wear to Cuba. So that's also old school. Yes. But that's not, yeah, but that's not modest if you're looking at that. It is modest because it's not showing all the cleavage that you can demand. You know, the rap points here that is that is literally a bundle. Anyway, let's not, um, let's just hand over everything. You can have been focused, which I've always, you know, being proud of you for being focused. Yeah. Doing what you can do best. Mm-hmm. And making yourself proud. Yeah. Making the members of, you know, whoever cares about you proud. And making sure that you pass the message on to those that are coming behind, to those that are even ahead of you. Yeah. That would be able to, you know, a lot of parents have gotten some one or two tips and they're falling in place. The kids are also learning and saying, oh, what you're doing is fantastic in their lives. So, and I have listened to some and I look at it as I say, oh, that's my daughter, you know, but I know that the society we are in today will try our best as parents, but we cannot true the deity water with the child. Okay. So I'm going to ask you a few questions that I've always wanted to know. What was your proudest moment in life? I feel so proud. I think, when I became, I became a management staff with advanced medical POC. Really? I feel so happy that looking at my background, we had come from that my plan was to be a pharmacist. I ended up working in a pharmacy company and I ended up returning as a commercial manager. Yeah. That was good. Yes. I actually was told. I told dogs. Yes. Oh, wow. How old are you when I happened? I'm 20. No, not 20. I had you before. I left glasses. Yes. Like 30, maybe 30, 30 to no, 39. I met 37. Yes. So I, I became the commercial manager, I think, 2003. Okay. 2003. 41 for years. Okay. So around 42. Wow. Oh, is there anything you regret not doing or saying in your life? I feel like I actually died a little bit. I think you did. It's my same back to the manager. Do you think your life would be very different if you were still in the UK? Yes, it should have been different because what it took. You want to have had me? Yes, I would have well, I would have had you. Because I was an egg in your body. Yeah. It will not be Sophia. That's true. But at least I would have had my children in the UK there. Oh, sure. Maybe not with your body. Because of destiny. So wherever one wants to be, that's where you'll be. That's true. So far so good. I don't think I have any negative regrets. Yeah. Are there any unfinished dreams or goals that you still have? Well, my dream is to have my children, you know, fully set happy. No, Momina, us, your dream. Nothing to do with us. Yes. My own dream. Well, like what? I don't know. Dream. What's dream about life? Dream about life is you want to marry, want to have children. No, you don't know more than that. Like what? I don't know. Like, what do you want to do? Like, what is something? Have you ever wanted to travel? Do you want to go on a cruise? No, my dream. Oh, okay. That's my dream. My dream was actually when I was in the UK, my dream was, oh, once I'm here, I must do this. I must do that. My children. And then once they are old enough with all the world, go on a cruise, you know, make sure that I visit. And that dream is coming to reality. Is it? Yes. Because reason why I'm saying that is, after I left UK then, it was after 20 years that I got my visa back to the UK. Not sure. 20 good years. And on the flights, I'm almost passed out because I don't know for whatever happened. And I'm there. So, now I got my US, I got my Canada. So, and these are the key, key countries in the world, in the old world. I don't want to go on the flight of that seven hours or 40 hours. I'm just fine with these three continents that I find myself. Continent. So, you travel with me? Yes, I would love to. But I feel like if you travel with me, you're going to tell me that should do different things. You're going to complain about my dressing. Even if I, I've seen you, I've seen you, I've been with you on all the days and I know, even if I said no, you'll see what you want to do. I've seen you half of that. You know that I've please have passed my message. That's true. And to me as a mother, I know that I've done my own bits of it. That's true. So, I can only force the cow or whatever. The horse to do to this stream. I can't force it to drink water. That's my situation that I find myself. So, there's no big deal about it. I've seen you. And that's why I was saying, even if I'm with you, there's some things that, you know, with age, I'll be able to say, why don't you add this? Why don't you do this? You understand? So, it's no big deal. Okay. What do you wish I understood about you? What do you wish I understood about you? That's, I want you to understand that's where we are coming from, our background. Okay. I want you to understand that. What do you wish I understood about you? As a person, as a person. I wanted to know that I want to submit my life to all my ziyala. Okay. Can we talk about that real quick? I feel like I see your face. I feel like the older you get, the more, because of how unpredictable life is and the year after, how scary it is. I think a lot of older parents and older people tend to latch on to religion and God as their only hope for some level of sanity. And I think when I started doing social media, there was a certain time where I knew like I was driving you stressed. I was stressing you out. And I think you needed to find even more grounding and structure. And so you chose, which is good. You chose to find good to God for that solace and that comfort. But at the same time, I want to make sure you're not hiding behind God in a way where like you're still not fulfilling your dreams. People will say, if you're praying, you want to pray while also doing actions. Does that make sense? So yes, we're talking about submitting to God and you know, being religious and being modest and all those things. But as a human being to God puts you here on this earth with your own thoughts, your own ideas. And I know you just, you've talked a lot about like before you came to Nigeria and those regrets, like the woman, the Larry, my mom was her first name is Larry, the Larry before Nigeria. Like those dreams you had, what is something that you feel like you've let go of because of age, because of what people say, because of all these things that you still might have wanted to do. Is it travel? Is it, what is it? Well, the only thing religion has nothing to do with how I live my life. That's not true. No, that's not how I live my life in terms of, I'm not going to, I'm not, I'm not going to go out of my way to do what I would not be proud or you, my children would not be proud of or my siblings or my family or my friends, you understand? Yes. So I, I would want to achieve, you know, knowing to see that everyone around me is happy, we're doing well. I'm not hiding under religion. It is, we, that's why we come from that, so we go back to that we like it or not, you understand? So I just want to be myself. And that's why I'm not listening to side talk any longer. And then so beats myself. And then for, you know, for sure, my dreams are making myself happy. Yeah. Seeing you guys being happy, accepting you as what you are. And then praying that allow me to make the better because all better. Yeah. I'm not perfect. I always tell you, yeah, the time we talk, you know, I'm not a perfect person. I would say that. So those, we should keep praying, you know, we all become a better person. Okay. I mean, as we're about to wrap it up, I'm going to tell you some things about me. And this might be true, might not be true, but I want to see at what points, like what is something about me that is like, if I ever did this, would you ever disown me? That's the question I want to say. Well, so far so good. No, no, I'll let you, I'll let you. You would never know. I said, so far so good ever. I'm not saying so far so good. That's what it means. So far so good means like right now. No, but you could in the future. Oh, no, sorry about that. Yeah. You know, me, I didn't study English. No, what I'm saying is for whatever reason, I don't see why I would disown my own child. I have, mommy, some, hold on, hold on. There is no way I will ever disown my own child. Even your brother, that's, I'm giving me so much. I don't believe you. Okay. No, okay. If that's my own opinion, you don't got your own opinion, right? Okay. Yes. If I told you I didn't want to have kids, what would you say? And I know you tell me why you don't want to have kids. I just don't want, I don't want children. I just don't want children. I want to be an auntie. That's not possible. See what I mean? But that doesn't mean I'm going to disown you. Okay. So what would you do instead? Would you just stop me and stress me out? No, I won't stress you. I'll keep telling you why you have to because number one is a generation thing. My brother is already, my brother's name is already continued the generation. No, he has a boy and a girl. That's his own generation. Uh-huh. What happens to you? I could always adopt or surrogacy. Well, whichever way you want it. Really? But I know that you won't do that. Why not? Say it because you're in the western world, so you want to know. It's not the western world. I've always said it. You never ever said it. No. You've always said you wanted to have nine children. I did. And then no. And then because of your uncle's kids, you said, oh, this is a no. You only have five or six. So I don't know why you're not coming to zero. I feel like it's gross. No. But I'm growing up and I'm learning a lot about myself. And I'm like, oh, I don't want that. No. But you see what I mean? I'm telling you something about myself and you're like, no, that's not possible. No, wait. I mean, not my thing is for me to say no. No, it's not normal. No, it's normal. No, it's normal. You can't say no, but then I say, okay, go ahead. I must say go ahead. I'm just saying you can say you disagree, but you can't say no about a decision that has to do with me and my body. Oh, okay. So I disagree. What if I said I never wanted to get married? Well, I disagree. Why not? I disagree. I don't want a situation. I would say I say no, no, no, no, no, I disagree. Why? I disagree. I can say no. No, I disagree. Don't worry. Well, why? What if I just don't? Like, what if I want to focus on my career? Because I feel like you have been a career woman. I'm just like, I'm just doing what you... I was a career woman. That doesn't stop me. I was having my kids and I was training like... Yeah, but if you didn't meet my dad, would you have ended up with someone? Yes, I would have ended up with somebody. Was was your piracy game and having kids? My priority was to have children. That's not my priority. That was not my priority. So what's your own priority? I wanted to just like chase my dreams. There's no way you can. If you chase your dreams, you're handed over to me. People who have kids who can who don't chase or chase their dreams and they'll end it to them or whatever, kids don't want their kids to squandise or something. So that's not... People will have the argument that you might have kids or because you want them to take you everywhere, you're older. And you have to have children who leave you or abandon your kids my past away. I start for like so many things can happen. So for that conclusion to not be valid, right? And I think especially in the world we're growing up in, like the countries we were from, like life losing stuff, like it's just different. Like why is there no space for difference? Well, that's the culture. That's our, that's our way of life. So we would never change on it. No, there's no, there's no, we say life is continuity. And he said he had great idols to come on the earth to multiply. So if you are saying, if you are saying I know we multiplied plenty. How have you multiplied plenty? Have you multiplied? But very last multiplied for me. That's a bright idea. If they call, if you call me now they're not going to say mommy, they will say antsy. Yeah. So the difference is there? No, I don't, but what if I don't want to be a mommy? Well, you can always have a child and say don't call me mommy, call me antsy. Oh, call me Sophia. But if I tell you now, and you prepare your mind, wouldn't change anything. Well, what can I do? I am not good. If you say that is what you want, I hand over everything to God Almighty. Or would I make you sad? It would make me sad, but as a mother what can I do? Why are you making the sound too bad? Do I sound too bad? You're making the sound sad, like you're sad about it. No, you want to see. You have just said something now. Okay. And I'm looking at it that what would I have brought these thoughts? Okay. Why are you worried we talk about this? No, when you are saying it, you have never said it to my face. Yeah, well, because we've never talked, we never talk about anything. So if that is what you want. Since you talked about it now, about talking to things to your face, I feel like there's a lot of things that I can't say to you cause of your response. Like, I know you want to agree. So what's the point of bringing it up? No, it's better that I know than to now sit on the social media and then I do get, you know, depraise. That is true. So I remember, because when I first started, I didn't tell you that was starting. I just sort of like, I just found out. Exactly. If I get to me and I nearly lost my life, yes, you threw yourself down these days. I threw myself. Okay. Yeah, that was so dramatic. But even like crying and everything about it, why? Why was like, why was that social media thing so much for you? No, because my culture, your bringing, I was never a time that I would dress you up in just pants and then go, yeah, good, downstairs. I'm going to get water. That's I didn't never. So your issue was for social media was just that I was in a bikini. Hey, so somebody now sent it to me. I said, see your daughter. See what she's doing. Kilo, Kilo, Kilo, Kilo, yeah, shit. You don't know how to train a child. You don't know to do anything. You don't do this or you say, you really, someone really said this to you or are you just thinking this is what you are saying about you? No, no, no, no. A lot, a lot. But, you know, that's I don't want to come and go. So I just want to thank God for my life. So that's it. And it's my life. Like everybody would tell me, Larry, it's your life. It's nobody's life. I remember, you know, this Patrick is one of my brother's friends in the US. It said, and see, this is your own child. If you throw out, you will be able to retrieve her back. And I think about that since I've held that to my left hand. And to go to the glory, to go to God now, I don't have any regrets. I don't want to cry on the shoulder of Maya. You're great. So, and I know that he has been so well. Do you think there's a possibility that I would ever stop talking to you? Well, I can't see any reason for that. Because even if you want to stop, I won't stop. You know, yes, that's some day, you know, some, yes, past where you say you will not talk to me. I'll call you and you'll not pick my phone, but when I'll keep disturbing and disturbing and disturbing. Because you have no choice than to pick and to say, okay, mommy, yes, what is it? Okay, I've had you. Yes, no problem. I've had you. I'm not, I'm annoyed. Why should you have said this? Why should I have done this? I said, okay. Because I was always so upset actually, because in my head at that point, you were always taking everybody else's side by me. Like, I would have rather you spoke to me, that speaking to everybody else. Like, you know how people always say, like, your household talks to your household. Nobody else needs to know. But like, now I do podcasts about this. But then, my own was, if anybody came to you, like, defending me in front of them and saying, mind your business, that's my child. And then coming and dragging my ear in the corner and saying, in one more day, like, let's talk together, I think you were, and I think it's my fault, because if you are, if you are known before, exactly. No, if I had known, it's just like, okay, you wouldn't have let me do it. It's like, what sometimes you go on the, on the, here, and you say, ah, my mommy is a well of this. My mommy is a well of that. Even though I'm not on represent our wealth, whatever it is, well, at least I might have about 20%, you know, understanding of what it is, you understand. So that's, we don't have gotten me off my feet, you understand? It was like, stumbling on something. And then I just couldn't comprehend it. That's from where to where. But hey, yeah, I am, I'm still alive. I would have died. I would have been, anything died because I was my social media. No, I would have died because of the pressure that, you know, I couldn't comprehend that then you understand. No, it was that serious. It was, Sophia, it was, it was, but I was able to go through it. Let me mind you, I mean, this is because I was wearing a bikini online. This is how you felt this way. Because I was wearing a bikini online. Because yes, because it's like, I wasn't, I wasn't twerking. You weren't talking on it. I wasn't twerking. I was also shaking my bum bum or anything. That was why you were shaking your bum. And you know, it was even the man that sent it to me and said, ah, is this not Sophia? I mean, if it is just by this beach charge inside or whatever. And what's, you know, when I heard that I'm shaking my bum, on the, on the, on the, she's sheep or ferry was on the, yes. So yes, so I saw, when did I do that? That's no, I've never, I've never posted it. If you all have seen a video of me shaking my bum and the, yeah, let's find the send it to me because I don't think that's true. You did all the way. Was I dancing? I can't even, I can't even see it right in my brain. Yes. Okay. Anyway, that one is, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to say, oh my god, for the, I said, that one is, that's come on. Come on, go on. What if I post a video to do of me shaking my bum good luck to you. So what changed between now and then? No, what I'm saying is good luck to you in terms of we've been able to discuss now. You know what I mean? I do. So my issue is, you're self-confused, right? Yes. It's effective of what I say or what I do. Yes. So whenever you say anything, good luck to you. You are no longer a baby. Okay. I need to spoon feed. Okay. Yeah. You know what it is. Okay. When we talk of, even when we talk of religion, you cannot tell me, you don't know what's is good and what is bad. But I know it to the extent of how you know, I know it. Okay. If you guys know better than we do because you have access to the internet, you have access to all of this. But you know how everything you're saying is based on belief, right? It's a belief system. Yes. Like you believe this. And because there are different religions in the world. There's Islam. Of course. I know we're talking about it. So I'm going to describe it. It's the arc of all those things, right? There's all these things there. So my issue, when you speak so definitively, is like because I'm not doing it like because I'm doing this, this must be how I'm going to suffer at the end. That's what it feels like. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, that's your suffer. I'm not judging anybody. It says, don't judge so that I shall not be judged. I'm not judging you. I'm just advising. So if I said to them, I was to become a Christian, what would you say? To become a Christian. You know what it is? What is it? I don't want to talk about religion. No, the entire time. No, that's I'm not talking about Christianity. I'm talking about my Islam. If I said I was gay, what would you say? Well, good luck to you. That's not true. That is not true. How? Yeah, Christianity being gay, all these things, like even posting online is not, it's not good luck to me. Like you just said, I posted online naked and you want us to die. Yes. Like the shock of then is because you did not know. It's because I did not know. So now I tell you now, if you tell me anything, I want to say, okay, good luck to you. But at least you want to know before. The reason is why I would say good luck to you is because you know what is right. But I'm trying to tell you that. Yes. There's no right or wrong. Only rights in your eyes. Okay. Like from me now, you see what I mean? Like for me, so for example, you just talked about how you were in the UK and you came home. At that point, your dad was telling you the right thing to do is come home. Then you didn't feel like it. You felt like what you wanted to do was pursue your life in the UK. I know that's very different from religion or sexuality or things like that. But for this situation, I'm saying, your right time wrong is based on your belief in Allah SWT, Allah and what God says is right time wrong, rights, what does it believe system? So if anything, the way you're, but I'm not supposed to, but I wish more parents were like you in this regard, because at least like I won't lie, I know one of the biggest issues we have is that you didn't like that. I didn't tell you first because I knew how you would react to it. So because I knew you before, I didn't want to tell you because I was like, I already know you're going to say, so I'm just going to do it and then face the repercussions. But before kids out there, do you suggest they tell their parents first and then do it or do it's first and then tell their parents? No, I think it's always be the best to carry your parents along. A parent would say no. Well, at the same time, they know my just be on a guiding thing. That's okay. Is this what you want to do? Okay, I wish all the best. But why don't you put it this way or why don't you modify it or why don't you put this kind of touch into it? Why must you go to the extreme? It's better than when someone would just wake up and then you see a video or you see something and then your picture or something in the magazine and then you see that, whoa, is this my child? And then you begin to write in your head. I mean, that's is a touch on its own. I understand. So his best discourse with your parents, irrespective of what they will say. So whatever shock is coming, they already have an observer for it. Do I make you happy? I'm happy. No. No, I'm not beyond the sense. No, I'm not beyond the sense. Like we've been discussing all the way to these points. Yeah, you understand. So far so good. I am happy with you. I irrespective of what anybody is saying. I'm happy. Well, you keep saying irrespective of what other people are saying. Why do you care so much about other people's opinions of me, my brother, and our family? Because I can't tell you a lot of stuff, especially I know people that are talking. I can tell you a lot of things about their families that you don't even know. Look at you. Go home because I feel like you'll wake, cause you're the first child. You waste so much on other people's opinions that you're not caring enough about your kids and like us. Cause I don't care. You know that maybe I don't know where I go to from. But I see you on cool. They can say whatever they want about me. My priority is as long as I'm able to take care of my mom and take care of my sibling and take care of myself. That's my priority. And I wish sometimes that you you prioritized me, my brother and I in those situations, like they can say whatever they want. But as long as like they don't say anything about your kids, your children, because they can say whatever they want. No, look, because they never because they almost of them also married. They don't they don't bring you into their family business. But they're able to be pushing their noses and other people's family business when it's not their business, too. And I think I always got upset by that, because I wish I think I would have been stronger and I would have even grown faster. And even don't more if like I knew that my mom would defend me, even if she didn't like it, my mom would defend me as that's my child, because I do a lot of times where you would never tell me anything to my face, but somebody else is calling me to tell me or an auntie's calling. And I'm like, when me and my mom talked about it, I thought she agreed. So I always felt some type of way about that. No, you see, because a lot of people say they have access to you, those whoever you're aunties or uncle that has access to you. Yes, those ones who always say, okay, maybe the way mommy is or whatever it is or whatever they've seen or heard, they want to come to you and say, oh, Sophia, why don't you do this way? Why are you doing this way? So it's usually like that. But in honesty, the way I've seen my children in the last three years is different from how it has been before the last three years. That's true. So I have come to accept that these are my own. We are. Because I realize that I cannot go to the next door or even to end up my siblings and knock at the door and say, oh, bring your child. Let it come and feed me. I've survived based on what God has done for me and whatever comes from my children and especially you. So I want to say, I am proud to be the oddity mother. I am proud to say, yes, keep it going. What, whatever you are doing. Just remember that at the end of it all, we still have your reports to give, you understand. If you are okay with that, your conscience is clear. You are not doing what is not expected of you. We are doing the right thing, impacting knowledge and advices into people's life, changing their life. That's a reward for you. Because as they grow also, they are growing based on what they have tapped from your knowledge, based on what you have passed to them. And then Allah will also reward you there and also guide you also. So in terms of if you need to go astray, because you have changed somebody's life, he's also going to guide you so you don't go astray. So it has always been like that. It's a circle. It goes around. Your passing a message, God says, I will reward you. There are so many things that you know, when you put knowledge into somebody, it is forever a reward, even when you are dead. That's true. So you have the reward there. Because that thing is still guiding that person and the reward comes to you. I was going to ask a lot of questions, but I like how that ended. I mean, that's as capital it has. Okay. Is there one? Do you think you made mistakes with me? Because, oh, this is one question I've always wanted to ask you. I didn't think I've asked you before because it was one time I was growing up and somebody said, I was a mistake because it did not plan me. Do you think that's true? Do you do that? I can't say it's not one of my uncles. One of my uncles did. Well, it's not a mistake. Okay. It is God's doing because what is a mistake? If I go into another man's house to have you, that is a mistake. I must have probably cheated on your father or probably me and your father when we're longer together and they will now say our uncle is a mistake. It was never a mistake. Okay. It is because time, when I had your brother, I was like my job, my job, my job, my job. That's true. Because I need, I need to survive and he also needs to survive and I need to give him the best I could. Yeah. You understand. So when you came in, it was like a big surprise, surprise in terms of 10 years. So I mean, everyone was like what? And fortunately for me, nobody knew in my family that I was pregnant, except one or two people. So it's time I go for family meeting. I'm always wearing this big gown that nobody would see that would hide my brother. So when they said, auntie as a baby, auntie, which auntie, auntie, auntie, was she pregnant? Was she pregnant? I thought an adorable baby to everyone. So and my friend, well, I mean, when she said, well, I don't know more you need is our baby. So it's like the baby of the whole thing that is coming and that is and that has always been it. So we give God all the glory. So there was never nobody we could ever say that mistake. Now it's it's even a surprise in terms of people because a lot of people welcomed me and my husband who were not together. So nobody knew that. And he was like, you saw the pictures. So he was like, it was so excited. I said, ah, at least something is keeping you down now. Yeah. And that's just going somewhere else. It gets my job done. And then I went out where I get it from. Okay, last name. Who is your favorite child? Me and my brother. Oh, Jamila Jamima. No, you can't see your grandchildren. You can't see your grandchildren on me. You have to answer for the people to watch. Who's your favorite grand? I think I think brand realized your favorite child because he's a boy and he's your son. And you guys have 10 years before me and you guys have the secret code and language. And I feel like because I'm so close to you. I'm so similar in our personalities that I just don't love you. Oh, I just love you. For what you are. For bringing that because I never even knew I was going to have a baby again. I'm so contented with the number, the, the, the, my son that we just carry ourselves anywhere. And then suddenly she came in and then she took over the show. I did. I love you too, Mommy. I love you. Well, guys, that is the end of the first official guest in at the MI 2 Loud podcast on the road. Um, my mommy. Um, this is an interesting conversation, Mommy. Yes. I feel like as low we're going to probably say off camera. But thank you guys so much for watching and catching up. Do you have any last things you want to tell them? Well, my advice to parents is know your children. Whatever it is, your child is your child. You cannot adopt any other person's child. So your child is your child. Whatever it is, begin to understand. And then I am advice. Don't neglect the opinion. Look at it carefully and then guide. So to all parents out there. I am proud to be seated here. I feel so excited. I feel so elevated. That's, yes, the old world will be watching me with my little story. I have so much story to tell, but we don't thank God for where we are today and for where God and our last one allow us to analyze the windows too. In short, so I pray for a long life, more wisdom, good health and prosperity. So that and then more knowledge in is in is a din and Ramon and to give us that's enough is so that we'll be able to worship and accept what he wants us to do. I'm sure the best in your end evil. Oh, thanks Mommy. All right, guys, signing out for all the immigrant kids, immigrant parents watching this, especially black kids, white kids, strict parent kids, strict non-parent kids, everyone in between if this episode resonated with you, don't forget to like, comment and subscribe, rate us on Spotify, commissions like this are tough, but necessary. I really, really want in my mom to be on the podcast because I wanted to show how I really come from a really, really normal background like my mom is pretty normal and cool, but it's pretty normal and we go through very typical family stuff and I do things, I do things, she does things, she does things, by the end of the day, I think what bonds us together is like we love each other very, very much. I love my mommy down, anyone who knows me knows that. So once you have loving your hearts, I think everything sort of sort of falls into place at the end of the day. So it might be hard. It always feels really, really hard, but at the end of the day, like just knowing like when you love each other, everything sort of works out. So thank you so much for watching, I'll see you guys in the next episode and when we thank you for being my first guest, you're welcome. It's my pleasure. Bye guys.