Am I Anyone’s Valentine? - Ep 17

Welcome to a My To Allow The Podcast. Hey guys, and welcome back to a My To Allow The Podcast with Sophie aka The Audity. This is a special Valentine's Day love episode. I have actually something to say because I wanted to start this episode really, really strong and don't know what I want to say. So don't know. Hi, how are you? I'm good. How are you? Are you okay? Okay. I have a confession to make. Are you ready? No, I'll see you for the six episodes if you took any of them. I'll get you. No, I mean, like, I like you more than a friend. Yeah, well, of course. You don't see me more as more than a friend. You don't think I'm sexy and cute and hot. I think God made you. So don't say you don't have any feelings for me. That's crazy, really? I do have feelings for you. Like, love feelings? Yeah, I do love you. Oh, I don't know what you do like more than a friend. Yeah, family. Is that your friend's own someone? That's why I was smiling. I don't think we're getting it. I don't think we're friends on. We don't even look alike. We're like burning a system. Ew, what? Ew, disgusting. Do we have the same head? Like, imagine it's dope to go with hair. So you turn me down. Is that what this is? Wow. That makes me feel some type of weight on hold. Okay, actually, I have something to say. Tell me. Unfortunately, I'm taking it. That's how I was smiling at the beginning of the episode. I was like, I'm trying, and you're going to do something. You know, I was thinking, I'm going, we're setting up the cameras and stuff. I was like, okay, how can I start this episode and make Donald ignore that me? And I was like, smirky. And the door was like, why are you smiling? Are you in drugs? I can't. He's like, what are you thinking about? And I was like, nothing. And I lied, I was thinking about my crush, so. Anyways, ew, I don't know. How are you? Happy love episode. It's almost Valentine's Day. You excited? I'm just gonna focus it. My crush, yeah. Oh, who? We'll talk about that in the episode. We're talking about love. We're talking about love. We're talking about love, you guys. If you guys don't know, well, now you know, it's Valentine's Day, February 14th. This is episode is like a special love episode. I feel like every time we have a conversation and the podcast about love and relationships and stuff, we always like, we'll talk about it in another episode, we'll talk about it in another episode. And I feel like this is a really special episode to do all things love relationships. Valentine's Day. Who do you like, all that stuff? Even unrequited, required, what's that word? Oh, we can't say that. Copyright. Unrequited, repeated love. Requited? How would you say that? Like, not something that's not reciprocated. That's the word. Do you know what I'm trying to say? He was procating his love. No, it's required it, though. Required it? Yeah, like our UNREQ UITE, my spin that way. Oh, yeah, you're right. Yeah. A theme of romantic attraction to us, someone who don't feel the same way. Oh my God, I'm so smart. Thanks. Anyways, that word. Even though you have UNREQ left, like, Donald doesn't have for me since I have feelings for him and he just doesn't want to, because he's taken. It also says that it can activate the same parts of the brain, like physical pain. Yeah, like, that's when, like, whenever you're in love with someone and like, they don't reciprocated, you feel pain, like, right now when you rejected me on camera in front of all these millions of people watching. That's okay. Did he felt rejection before? Yes. Oh, my days. We could talk about that. My first ever, like, love, I would say, was very unrequited. I don't even say it was unrequited. I need to say something that works. I might be saying it right. I wouldn't say it was unrequited, but I feel like I'm not saying it like, like, well, maybe just sounds weird in my mouth, but I have had a lot of situations. Feel the same to this audio. Don't do not eat the popcorn on my face. No, I just do not eat. You guys are the first I've ever recorded a podcast so late. So we're in a bit. What in shambles right now, I feel like, right? We're tired. We're very tired. Are you okay? Are you gonna struggle to chew now? No, I'm okay. Anyways, welcome to a special Valentine's Day episode. We're gonna be talking about all things love, like we said earlier. So I have a question for Donald to start. Do you have a Valentine's? Of course. You do? No. Are you asking someone, whoever you're with, to be your Valentine? Are you been together for long? What is that? What is your love situation? So I know, I get a lot of comments about asking if you're single, if you're dating, if like what's going on. So let me know. What are you thoughts? Tell me everything. I know the fact that I'm wearing shades here. It's like, is this Donald or is this not? It is. First of all, on my Instagram, I put like the pronunciation of my name, and it says like D-A-H, like so it's like Donald. Why is your name Donald? First of all, I Googled it and I was like, oh, what's the pronunciation of like Donald the Ferrier? And he was like Donald. So he had telling you where to call me. He was telling you where to call me. And you're the reason why is because I kept on Googling. I would go somewhere and someone would call me, ooh, do not. Donald, Donald. And I'm like, you know what? Let me actually find out. Donald. Yes. Yeah. It's all, why are we talking about this? That's not the question, actually. Men are so crazy. You're so, you're so, you're so, you're so, you're just getting somewhere. What was your lead into? I actually, you're talking about people asking if I was single or not. How did that get to your name pronunciation? People are always in my business. They know getting my name right. Sorry. That made no sense, Donald. No, it doesn't. Okay. Are you just, are you doing it on the tellers? No, I'll tell you. Okay. So I didn't know. I'm in a relationship, right? But I didn't know you were supposed to ask the person you were with. Yes, yes, yes, yes. To be a long time. I didn't know this. Right. You're supposed to. Which I'm going to do. I kind of'm doing it. Like today is February. But I'm just open, you would have told her. Yes. Oh, I hope she says yes. What if she says no? What if you have like a partner, a girlfriend, or a wife, and they let all my family say no? I want you to. That's dramatic. Or something you weren't even going to ask all the way in the first place. Would you really? No, no, no, you say no. It's like, it's like asking someone to marry you. That's so dramatic. I don't think it's the same thing. That's the same thing. I don't want to sidebar too much. If I asked someone to marry me, and they said no. Yeah. Do you think I would give up? Yes, you would. You would never go back there. Don't know. I need it, but it's like someone else. You're not. So I'm going to ask, and what do you think I should do? I think, because I think she deserves like a spa day. So for the asking, because she's into food right now, I think it would be cute to like maybe do like a surprise grocery run with flowers. And maybe her favorite sweet treats are healthy. But I know you guys just went grocery shopping. I think that's cute. And then maybe have a note in it and have her open the groceries and have it be like a note or a card that says, will you be my Valentine? Or something like that with like a cute thing? Oh, she doesn't do it. Do something like that she wouldn't know. Like don't be basic, like get cookies and just flowers. Like do something that would be active. Maybe it's like she works out a lot, right? Maybe like when under a weight would be like a card when she's at the gym with you. Like do something like that. Something like that. So like she's not, it's not expected. I love surprises. Like it will be, it will add like an extra layer. And then for Valentine's, you have to take her to the spa. She deserves a spa there. Like you guys go in, there's like a spa by in Jersey. The hot top thing, Kelly Wakassan, your mom Ashley went to that. I think it's nice. Like a little like cute sea moment, going to the spa or like I think a spa or a nail date together. Like something very like self love and stuff, don't do the basic dinner stuff cause you guys cook at home anyways. And you guys always go to dinner. I think you should be like you guys and maybe like do like scrapbooking. No, I'm already plating out your time. What about the five company? If I go to like the pie company. And then baking something. We'll give them like the letters that put in the pie. That'll be cute. That'll be cute. Does she like little pie company? She loves it. Oh, then yay. And I'll be cute. I like that. Oh yay. I love Valkyrie. Let me know how it goes. Am I a great win woman? Yes. Thanks. Absolutely. All right. Ask me. I was getting to it. Okay. No one. Isn't that sad? I don't think it's sad. But sometimes it's always been very weird for me because I feel like I don't remember. I think I've been asked like once or twice when I was in a three-year relationship. Then like, I had to like tell my friends to make sure they let the person know that I wanted to be asked for them to ask me to be their Valentine. And then there was one Valentine where like they went all out. That made me feel really special. Where was like balloons everywhere. And it was really nice. Like I felt really special. Well, I have always had to sort of ask to be taken care of. Like I don't think I've ever had a partner. And I hate whenever I say ever. Because then maybe I forget things because I have a terrible memory. But I don't think I would ever forget this type of feeling. But it's never, I hate saying never too much. I don't remember ever feeling really special about like a day of love in that way for Valentine's Day. And I think now no one has asked me yet. There are people in my life that I really want to be like, I want them to like love me like out loud for us. You know what I mean? And I want them to like do things for me where it's just me and the person and like we're very like, they know I want romance. Like that's like, I feel like I mean, the only thing I am wanting to add onto my life right now is romance and romantic like love. And I don't know if I have that. And is it weird that like, I know they're gonna be watching this right now too. I feel like, I don't know if they're gonna give me that. Is that weird? It is though. Why? But the reason why I was smart in early is because it's hard for me to picture you in a relationship. I know. Why does everyone say that? Well, it's like, it's weird because I also know that like you're someone who like you enjoy stuff like that. I do. I was like, I don't know what's interesting. I don't know what it is. Do you think like when you're in relationship, do you communicate that? Yeah. Yeah. Right? Honestly, hmm. Or is that like a, no, not even communicate, right? Is that like a criteria based off of the panel press? Because you know like someone who date someone and like they're dating the person because the person without even saying like they've seen that okay, this person is someone who is capable of loving me the way I want to love. And then that's also part of the question. I had a really, really great conversation with a friend today about love and they said something that made me feel really like. They said that with me that I'm a very big lover girl. Like I would spoil whoever I'm with and I deserve somebody who would spoil me back with that same energy. I don't think I've ever been with someone who gives me the same energy. Okay. So that's one that knows you. Yeah. And it's just very big. Yes. It's a very big energy. My energy's big. Yeah. And I feel like if you care about someone like the life that you live in. Yeah. It's not great. I can count the number of like in my hand. That I've met throughout since I was born. Yeah. That can even attempt right to want to reach that level. Okay. This is becoming like, okay, y'all. This is becoming like a therapy session. Okay. Okay. So this person that we're talking about, right, that you want to find. Yes. That bar. And it's like it's the bar. I don't think the person doesn't exist. Yes. The bar is high. The bar is high. It's high. And it's not a little money thing. No, it's not. It's just like an intentionality thing. So I'm learning that I am a big lover and I do things big. I don't think I expect the same level of which I do things because I don't want anything big financially or anything that's not me. I like the little things. Like I like the like little letters. Like I'm a big letter girl. Like I love handwritten notes. I love like letters. I love like intention. I love like little surprises. I love like flowers. I love like little intentional things that make me realize all you were thinking of me. Like if someone ever bought me Gary, I'll marry you. I'm not joking. Like that's not a joke. I'm not generally serious. Like Gary of Grand Nords. Like if you ever got me Grand Nords shaped anything, oh, stop it. I was like, think, what's the thing? Any rules? Any more arrangements? Like, where's those Grand Nords? Oh my days. Like an African fruit basket. And African basket. Like a gift basket. Pop, pop. Oh, God, please. Please. Just give me like, you know what I mean? I'm such a man. It's the night of your moment. Like I'm so, like I'm easy. But I think I don't know if I have anyone in my life. I don't know. I hate saying that. I guess it's easy, though. You think so? Like if you know me, though, you know that's what I would want. Yes. Which one is easy? Why? I'm more hard to love. I don't think I have anything easy. Oh my days. Don't hold. Oh my God. I'm going to feel emotional right now. This is such an emotional. Oh my days. Let me talk about it real quick. In my previous relationship and in my previous encounters, oh my, I swear to you, hold on. So I'm going to show you. I'm going to search for this. This is crazy. I'm going to actually overshare right now. I will search hard to love. And I promise you a note is going to come out. Why? Literally. I did. Like literally it's like, I'm not hard to love. I deserve a love that's, where is it? Okay, I'm going to read this. I'm going to read this. I wrote this, okay. I want insane love. I want someone who loves me. I want me for me who would move mountains to be with me and who sees me as someone to earn and take care of. I want romance and to be cared for and I don't want to settle. I'm not saying no one can give me these things. I'm just letting myself know what I deserve. I love love and I always will. And right now I just want something like this. I won't passion. I want that person to be my best friend. And I didn't mean was like sitting down because I was looking and thinking, what do I want for myself? And I've written that down. However, I would say, I don't know if I compromise or I settle when I know really what I want. Like I want to, I think there was some time last year where I felt like this could be this for me. Like that kind of all-consuming love rate. Like you were both so sure of each other and then it just didn't work out. Like it's still there. It just wasn't, it was just like, oh, life started happening. And it wasn't as like fun or as beautiful as like exciting as I thought it would be when it started out. And it was just interesting. So I feel like I don't have a Valentine's this year. I think as of right now I don't. Yes. Yes. I don't too. You're so sure about it. You're gonna have a Valentine's tomorrow. Or the next year. So my question is like, why? Are you about to say, what do men ask? Yes, because I did ask the question. I was like, oh, like, what am I the ones first to ask? And what I heard was, oh, she's not supposed to be romantic. I'm the ones supposed to be romantic. What? Okay, let me know if I heard. That's not true. I heard that. I was just like, why don't we think she begins that? Because like, I think that I've been in the position where I have asked to. But I definitely would say I'm always the one who is usually on the receiving end of the asker. Like the asker would ask me and then I'll do something cute to ask them back just so they feel like love and appreciated. Like I love to get a man flowers. I love to get a person. Like I love that too. Like I feel like men don't get enough flowers. So it's nice like also do that. So like in your relationship, for example, you would want to get something to say like, oh, like would you be in my Valentine be cute about it? I think that would be nice. But also it's like relationship dynamics. Maybe just, you know what's funny? I was just thinking about it because I'm like, when you were talking about like asking people to be Valentine's, like I, in my, every time I talk about this, it was really like, very sketchy. I don't know if I'm in the space right now of asking anyone to be my Valentine's. I feel like I would have in the past. Now I think I want to enjoy the femininity of waiting because I think where your girlfriend was also trying to say is like, she enjoys the way, like the wing of the would you be my Valentine? Like the asking, the process. I think that's so sexy and so intentional. From whoever is like, I do it, yeah. Yeah, doing the asking because I enjoy that now. Like I realize like, oh, sure, actually enjoy feeling like the person was intentional about like their love and their intention for me. And I'm really curious. I wonder if like next episode I'm like, okay guys, let me tell you all about Valentine's Day. I end up like, if I don't do anything, I'll be so sad. I'll be so sad. I'll be so sad. I'm very curious. I don't know if I'm gonna do anything. I'll be very sad. I'm like, I'll visit everyone around me. I'll be so sad. So sidebar. Okay. And the situation where there's a guy and a guy or a girl and a girl or two guys and one girl. You get the point. Okay. This is not two guys and one girl. He said, or two girls and one guy. Okay. In the case where like it's not conventional male and female relationship. Right. In that case, who is tasked to do the asking? Anyone. Okay. Yeah. So anyone, is there a discussion before? Okay. I don't know. Because now if both parties, let's say these are like two guys. Yeah. If both guys are like, you know, I have to ask him. He has to ask me. What? What? I'm like, I guess in my case, he's like, I'm like, okay, the guy's the side. Yeah. I was asking. Okay. I will say this. Hmm. I think it's cute. You know when like you always see like same-sex couples when they propose to each other and it's like, maybe they both have to ring in the pocket. The same type of thing. Because they were both going to propose at the same time. I think matched energies, everything in a relationship. In Valentine's, they always highlight matched energies. Like you can tell when an energy is matched, especially in same-sex relationships or like unconventional relationships. Because if you were going to ask me or I was going to ask you, like, if maybe you ask me first, I'm planning on asking you later, it doesn't deter from the fact that I'm still going to ask you to be my Valentine. Does that make sense? And if in your case too, like there's some women who always enjoy the like, I want to treat you so I'm still going to ask my man. But I think that also comes in like a stable relationship. Yeah. Because let's be clear. Valentine's Day is also the time you realize. And you know what's crazy? Crazy? It's crazy. It's going to say crazy and funny. You know what's crazy? New words. It's like I used to, when I wasn't in a solid relationship that I was so sure of, I was one of those people who would be like, oh, Valentine's Day is nothing. I don't care about it. It's fine, whatever. Now I'm like, oh, you're not going to ask me? Wow, crazy. Like you want that matched energy, but you also want that intention. And sometimes it is when you know, oh, this person is known. Because that's when their phone isn't working. They feel like it's not really that serious. I hate, I hate. Oh my god, let me look into the camera and say this. I hate when people say, Valentine's Day is nothing. Men, women, anyone in between. Like I hate when people talk about, oh, like I feel like it's just pressure. It's just one day I can show you my lover anytime. Why don't you show it that time? What's the cost in you? Like I don't get that reasoning. Except maybe I'm the side chick. That's it. That's the only reason why. Because it's a day of love. Like it's like, people saying, oh, children's day, I'm not going to celebrate. It's like, even though you're a child. Like, can't I celebrate them? They're all a child and you're that day. The fuck? That's true, yeah. Like it sounds so petty when you hear that reasoning. And I remember I said we wanted people to be like, oh, yeah, you know, like they don't really want to celebrate Valentine's Day. Like it's nothing to celebrate me every time. So celebrate me every time including Valentine's Day. Why is that so hard for you? Why not every day, including that day? Why make an excuse? Are you going to see your second family? Like, are you going to see your actual baby on the day? Like, what's going on? So for me, like now, I'm very intentional. Because also, I want to see how they're going to show up for me. Whoever that person is. Just thought about the time when I said, we did three Valentine's Day. Your house. When I was single. You did not. Did you really? Yeah, he was 2019. That's hilarious. It was fun. The same three in the same day. Yeah, I wasn't like there. But you just sent three different. Honestly, I have also had different people send me flowers for Valentine's Day. Different like. What's your name? You're a single. Yeah, that's true. I've had that too. So that means if you're in a relationship, what does it cost your person? Do you want to say something? If people send you the flowers from different people, they just don't want to do it. She thinks someone says, actually, you don't like Valentine's Day. Maybe do you have a flag like me. That's a lie. There's no scarring necessary. How does that affect my love for you or your love for me? It's a day of love. Like, you shouldn't feel anything other than like, I want to say, and then people might also feel pressure like, oh, I don't want to buy your results or other thing. Then do what works for you all. Like, I thought I was talking about with like your girlfriend. Like, do things that make you guys feel connected to each other. It doesn't have to be the same roses. Like, intention is so important to me. Yeah, honestly, I think one thing I've learned from being in a relationship. I'm also like talking to a lot of women, right? It's like, you don't know how to win so simple. When you're like talking to someone. In terms of like working stuff, right? Yeah, women are so simple. Oh my god. They're so simple. Like, going to the grocery store and knowing means so much. Yeah. Then like, what's the thing? It's the little things because here's the thing. Most women that I know are always thinking ahead most, right? They're always calculating. They're always being intentional. Yeah. Like, I think we just get that. We have that power. Like right now, if I was going to be asking someone to be my valentine, oh, easy. I know exactly what to do, what to get, where to get it, how to do like, I know exactly how to make them feel really special. It always just doesn't feel the same when it's not reciprocated because then you're scared of, oh, I wonder if they don't know. And that's where like, relationship issues come in. Because men are so aloof, right? Or like, they just don't, they don't think that deep. Like for them, it's like, okay, I'll just buy her flowers. No, she probably doesn't even like flowers. Like the flower would die. What actually it made, why wouldn't she do more? Like, if I got flowers alone, I would like it. But I know I would love something that was a lot more intentional because that means you're actually thinking about your love for me. And you're trying to figure out how to make me feel special on a special day, like valentine's day. So I think valentine's day is special. Like maybe it was because I'm in love now and I'm like, oh, I want love things. And I like it and everything. Well, how did you say you're in love? How did you say, ooh, like, that you're such a weirdo? Whatever. Well, yeah, it feels really good. It feels really good. I was telling someone the other day, I was like, I don't feel like this ever. And I'm so scared, like feeling, like, y'all, one thing about me is I have never been terrified of falling in love. I've always experienced love and emotion. Like, I think of something about this before fully. Like, I am all in every time with affection. Like, I'm the girl who's shooting her shot. I'm the girls telling you exactly how I feel. I'm honest about my emotions. I'm very clear when it comes to love and when I'm out of love, I'm out of it. When I'm in it, I'm in it. And I think that can also be terrifying for people because when I feel like I feel big and when I don't feel like I don't feel at all, like, I'm gone. And I think loving is a risk that's so special, like that emotion. So maybe to trust someone else with their emotion and enjoy it, I think it's so special. So I like love. I think love is fun. So do you think you're hard to love? I think so. I think so. And I feel like it's weird to say that to yourself. But I really do think I'm hard to love. I think the bar is really high if you're into me. And I remember one of my biggest things with my ex is always, I don't think they were very intentional with their love for me. I would always say, OK, kemi. And kei in your bar means care. You don't take care of me. Because that was the only thing I felt was lacking. And this also shows up in my female relationship, so like friendships in general. I think because I take care of myself so well, I don't give people the opportunity to take care of me, too. You just have to agree, and I said, look, that's what I mean. You know what I mean? So I'm learning now that it's also, because in my head, I always talk. Not so agree, too. Yeah, you're like, wait a minute. Like I used to be told that you don't let me take care of you. And in my current situation, I'm realizing, yes, that's true. But also, even if I don't let you, if you care about me, you do it anyways. Like you just, you know when to come in and when to not. You know how to handle handle me in a sense. That's true. You just like, you just know, you just do it. Like if you ever ask Sophie, can I do this for you? The answer is always no, because I can do it myself. I'm independent, y'all. It's a fault. Like I am an independent child who's been by herself for so long. I don't know how to accept help or love. Well, you just have to love me anyways. Ew, don't be saying that like it to the camera. Ew, I don't know how I feel about that. Because I think I'm also hard to love, right? You are complicated. Oh my God. You are so complicated. And because before I got into my current relationship, I've been my girlfriend for close to five years now. Yeah. And I think like that relationship, like the connection that we have is really, really, like, yours bond is adorable, right? Yeah. But, and I always talk to this, like, the amount of girls and my son, like, I hope, like, I talk to, like, I get a lot of, like, interests. You do. From a lot of times. Okay, ho. Okay. I was like, I get the girls in the arms. We don't have to say something. Sometimes people think they get me and, you know, they don't. But they don't. Yeah. You know, and it's just like, it's always interesting to see it. So people are like, my God, I like you. We should be in a relationship with this. It would be so good to get in this. I'm like, I wish you knew. Oh, I wish you knew. I'm like, no, we would because it's like, I'm crazy. Okay. Well, no, no, no, crazy, like, it's a lot. It's a lot, right? It's a lot. And it's like, so I think like for you too, I'm like, huh? Because when I wrote this down, I was like, I was like, huh? That's not fair. No, I don't think, but I don't think it's a difficult thing, right? Because we also understand, right? Yeah. Yo, if I'm ever, if I'm fudge off, think about it. Like, for us all to be like, nah, like, yo. Yo, let me know in the comments from you watching me and like watching my content. Do you think I'm hard to love? Because I feel like, I think you're easy, right? I think that's the problem, right? The problem is I feel like society. No, okay. Let me tell you this. So I'm in the conversation. I've been having so many conversations, bro. I was having a conversation with someone the other day. And I get, the interest I get with me is always more like, you're too good to be true. So I'm not going to even bother to pursue you. That's what I mean. Like, he makes sense. And that's not fair to me. And I'm so over it. Like, I want someone who's just f***ing just goes after it. Because I do. I'm so sure of what I want that I just say. And the dance just frustrates me all the time. Because for me, it's like, you're insurious. Like, no. Like, how dare you not just simply go for what you want and you're just like, spinning around the circles. And like, I hear that so many times of like, oh, I'm just gonna wait. I'm just dead. And I'm like, when it's always my turn, it's always like, I don't know if I'm good enough for you. When it's like, it's never gonna be good enough. It's a matter of how much are we feel about each other. And that's okay. And we figure it out. So yeah, I definitely like feel that the whole like hard to love thing. Damn. I'm in my feelings. I don't like this episode anymore. The fear of being unlovable versus the fear of timing and personal groups. What does that mean? Like, the fear of being unlovable. You think I'm scared? Should I choose that? The fear of being unlovable? No. Are you afraid of timing? Okay. Or are you afraid of like the fear of being unlovable? No, I love myself enough for the both of everybody. I don't think I would ever. You don't think you're unlovable. I don't. My mother loves me a lot. Like, if my mother can't love me, I've told the man that I put her through, I can love anybody who can't love me. Like, if you live in my life, Jesus, I'm fine. Like, my friends, you like everybody in my life. Like, my friends, like, I feel like, I don't think I'm ever gonna be scared of being unlovable. My mom is 65 years old. And my mom is a single mom. And my dad was not in the family, but when my dad died, my mom was in the hospital for a week because of how much love she had for him. Like, I think she wrote a letter that she even burned. Maybe that's just a story they told me. I can't remember. Well, she was, she physically felt pain. You know what I'm saying? I'm telling you. Like, she felt so much pain when he passed. And I never understood it because I was like, this is someone who didn't exist. Or she felt so much love for him that it broke her. I want to experience that kind of devastating love. And like, I'm like a woman, both ways. Like, I want mutual devastation. Like, I want to feel like if I lost you and you lost me, we would break each other. But we're both still individuals. You know what I mean? Whenever I think about love and relationships, I think about it from an individual perspective. Like, I am one, you're one. And when we come together, we create that one entity. And so when we're apart, that entity breaks, but like we're both still whole, right? But like, you still feel so much connection to that entity that you don't want to let it go, right? So that's like me in relationships. So I am in the space of my life right now. We're like, I'm simply seeking like companionships that partnership that's romantic love. So I think I would choose like fear of like timing and personal growth, which is, which I only choose not because like, I really want that because I'll just choose me there because I don't think both of them. I don't think. I don't. I've never. No, okay, that's true though. Because if not for you, your world is difficult. My world is so difficult. Like, this is why, this is why I'm where I am. It's the difficult case. That's what I was like. That's one of the fucking oddity, bro. It's very, I don't fear timing. I don't fear timing. timing has nothing to do with anything. But this is the thing, right? I am impatient though. Yes, but someone comes to your life, right? The right thing to do, and tell me from both of you to here. Okay. I don't know. Because it's like, oh, is there anybody to see you, right? Okay. The right thing to do is just to go for it. Like, for the person to just forgive you, he's like, for me, yeah, yeah. Like go for it. They helped. I feel like if someone comes to your life and they spend a day a week. Yeah. And they revolve around your world, they wouldn't want to hinder, right? Because like, because it's kind of like, if I come into this person, just on me, it's like, oh my, it's frightening, right? It's like, it's so much because the world that treats like, you've created and we create, like, it's really big. It is. To come into that and want to exist. And that's why I commend my girlfriend a lot because I'm like, how do you do it? Like, it's crazy. Like, just scary me because I'm like, and I, I don't know you from anywhere. I just met you five years ago. Yeah. That's a long time, too. So, you need to put everyone in. Everybody keeps saying that. Everyone keeps saying that. She's young, so I'm going to let you have it. But I go once a ring on her finger in ASAP. I got you, babe. I'm letting him know. Okay. Well, let's move on. Um, well, yeah. So, I'm excited for love in this season, in this era. I feel like we're both in that phase of, I don't know what I was trying to cook, because I was talking about your stuff. I'll ask you this, right? Like, what is your, because I never heard about attachment styles before. Oh, oh my God, I don't know. I mean, I think it's just those three, right? Avoid an anxious. I'm an anxious, I'm anxious. I'm anxious. I live with anxiety. What are you doing? You avoid it. That's shit. What? I swear. You're. That's why we function so well. Because I feel like we both recognize that. We both address it. Whenever you're avoiding something, I know to keep pushing. Well, other people who might be terrified of you wouldn't do that. They're just going to leave you to it. Well, I'm all but you're asked 24-7. And when I get anxious, you do a really good job of balancing me out and letting me know that like, it's okay. Like, let's just keep going. I think whatever I'm going to end up with has to understand my anxiety. Has to be reassuring. Like, when I tell you. Do you think they need to be secure? They need to be secure. Do you think you have to secure? Not to secure. She has to be secure. She has to be secure. Yeah. I think I've been with people who are, my last relationship, they were very, very avoidant. Very avoidant. That never, but they were also very reassuring. So I wouldn't say, well, they're very avoidant. Recent dabbles that I've been dabbling in, they've been secure. Which is great for them, not for me. Okay. Because they're very secure and because I'm very, actually, hmm. Can people be like a mix? Yeah, I don't think they're avoid. They're, hmm. Right, like half and half. Ah. I say they're secure in terms of like outwardly how they are perceived, right? But I might think they're avoidant, but only if I'm assuming certain things about them. So like, if they tell me, oh, I think you should do this. I'm fine with it. But then they ask me five different questions about it and they're not really wanting to have a conversation about it. And I'm like, are you really avoidant? So I never know like what to take at face value, whether or not, because you know, I'm always gonna overthink. If you ever told me I'm okay right now, I'd be like, are you okay? Or is something actually really wrong? And I'd go do a deep dive. Therapy is said to, I don't need to do deep dive. So I just need to let things go. All right, we're getting too deep. But yeah, I'm very much avoidant, attachment style. I'm very much anxious, sorry. And you avoidant. Yeah. Interesting. All right, so you said relationship advice. What does this mean Donald? So this is, this segment. Okay. Why is everyone getting married? Because we're grown and you need to put a ring. We're not grown. We are. I'm 27. It's disgusting. 28. I don't know if you, you please, you are going to, you have to get engaged for 30. And I can't wait. It's happening. It's happening. It's not happening. It's happening. No, that's not the better. That was the bet. I'm talking about the bet. I'll be cutting it out. No. The bet was two years. You guys, should I say it? Okay, you guys, let me talk about this real quick. Me and Donald have a bet that he's gonna have to get engaged before he's 30. And this petty ass man is refusing to wait. It's going to wait. Well, you've already been. No, it was two years, wasn't it? It wasn't two years, it was 30. Okay, it was 30. It was 30. It was before 30. Because you keep saying you don't get engaged until you get your pilot's license. And I'm like, that makes no sense, because you can't date someone for seven years and not put a ring on your finger. Because you know why? She doesn't watch this podcast. I don't think so. I hope she watches this one. No, no, no, but like, think about it, right? What? I mean, my plane. And if I was, like, I would be off to person one like on the plane, like on the flight. No, she doesn't want that. But I want it. The same way I want to get my order in the booth. I'm also getting it. I'm not getting my order in the booth at all. What do you mean? On the boat. We'll discuss this later. I'm sorry. Love me fighting for now. I'm like, no, that's not happening. Anyways, you guys, we were so... I don't know if the, I feel like we're at the age where like, you're starting to settle down. And I think especially for women, like the egg thing, like if you're going to like conceive and stuff like that, that's the whole point of women getting married. I think for men, it's a lot different, right? Like it's, men can be 40 and still cannot be sold out. Hard in what way? Have you seen the thing where they say that like, men get married to the person who's there and women get married for love or like, for whatever, I forget the saying. Do you know what I'm talking about? Yeah, I do. I don't know if, like, from a personal angle, I don't know if it's true, but... I think it's true. I don't think I would get married to someone who's there. I think you would. I think if you were single and you hadn't found your person and you were 35, 36 and you met someone, that might not be the love of your life, but you want kids so you would settle down. I wouldn't get married to someone who's not in my life. I'm telling you you wouldn't. I wouldn't. Oh my God. As you've forgotten the story of me going to Paris, I'm a love of boy at my core. Of course you are. Of course, at 37, life would be shaded. Life would be shaded. If I was like single, I wouldn't be single to 37. Unfortunately, I'm not... I don't love singleness. Actually, it's like a passion. Yeah, it's like, I wouldn't do that. Do you think I love singleness? Don't know. Do you think I do? Let's talk about this. Let's use this test. Okay. Is marriage a societal milestone or a personal choice? Personal choice. Okay. So do you think you love singleness? No. You just... You see the question. What do you mean? It's a personal choice. Why are you going to choose to get married? If I want to. Exactly. You know what I mean? It means that because to you, it's going to shock my soul. You don't do that. Why the fuck would marriage be a societal milestone? So it is. Why? Why would be choosing someone... That's the idea. That's the idea. It's not good. Well, I understand. Yeah. I understand because of the idea of family and dating and stuff, right? It's the same way you said women, you guys think the head, right? Yeah. That's true. Women are actively cooking up the pot because they want to get married because... I know a lot of people want to get married. That goal was to get married. We're going to say a personal choice. That's true. That's true. Oh yeah, no. I don't think it's that means I love being single. I think... You would rather choose to be single. You would rather be single for 100 years. Yes. Oh, absolutely. I would never suffer. Exactly. I would never suffer. That's why I can... Let's talk about this real quick. Did you ever ask your girlfriend to be your girlfriend? I do. Did you do, like, will you be my girlfriend? Yeah. She said no. Mm-hmm. What? Help me the story. I did. It was 2020. I said no. She said no. And she was like, oh, she wants to wait for three months. Because it was really quick, like, we were just starting dating for, like, a month... Is there a timeline to ask someone to be your girlfriend? I didn't know there was. Like, I, like, because we went to the grand canyon and, like, we connected, right? So I'm like... Don't know. What is with your going on, church and women, and connecting with them... So, what is going on? Is this your M-all? You go with people, and then you connect with them, and then you're stuck with them throughout long? Well, this one is actually like... I see like, because like, I feel like I'm always searching. I'm in our single. I love that. You do love a love story. Exactly. You guys are not as so cute. I would orchestrate it and like, we went and we were connecting and we came back. I want that though. Like, I want the orchestration. I want someone who's like seeking love and affection and whatever, because like, I think it's so beautiful to like build a, that's how I'm like, I don't know if I love being single. I do. Like, you're also one who would fly to America or would be like, oh, there's a plane ticket. No, no, for real though, I get it. Cause that's what, that's what I don't want to, like, surprise me. If I tell you I'm gonna be in Europe for three months. Yeah. And you don't come to Europe once. Yeah. I have to ask you to come to Europe. Yeah. You know, I don't think I would have to do any of that. I'm, hmm, interesting. Hmm. I don't know what I want, Donald. Is that bad? You guys, this is a really, this is a very like intimate moment on the pod. Let's talk about it. Cause I feel like we're the same. We are very, very, very, right? So like, you're really, if you're a single. Yes. But I'm not single. There's some saying, you're not single anywhere. It's always okay. I think when we talk about shit like this, yeah, I think that'll be nice. Like to, cause we connected and then three months later, she has to ask me. She asked you? Yeah. Oh, I love that. I actually already, so you, you were just, she said, yeah, but she said she knew it more time. I'm like, okay. I love that. I, I've given someone an ultimatum one time for them to ask me to be their girlfriend. Let me tell you what happened. So we're friends with benefits for a while. And then I was pulley amers before I met them. So I had five partners and I was chilling. This is the most I've ever spoken of in the podcast. I was a geek talking. So I was pulley at the time. I had five partners and we're chilling. And then four, five. And then they were into the mix. She was a six. The point was I had that, right? And so I was messing with them and other people, but I could tell they were very jealous, right? So we did that for I think like six months or five, four months or so. And then there was one point where like I travel and they traveled and like they would be on the phone with me for so long. They were very attached, but they would keep talking about how they're fine with being friends with benefits when I clearly knew they weren't. But my biggest thing for them was like, communication is key for me. Like if you tell me we're not doing this, I wouldn't do it. But if you tell me we're doing this, I'm like, I wouldn't stress you out. I'm just gonna do exactly what you want. Like if it lines with my interest at the time, then I'm fine with it. And I definitely had feelings for the person at the time, but I also wasn't pressed. Like I was like, oh, like I wasn't looking for a relationship. So if this is just gonna be fun, yeah, but like I'm not gonna take out on my hose because that's not the case. And then finally we had the conversation because I was like, okay, like you're getting too emotional about me being with other people, meaning they can't with someone else, me doing all these things. What do you want? You have a month to figure it out. And if you decide you want me to be your girlfriend, you have to ask me to be your girlfriend. Take me out to dinner, sit me down and tell me, if not, I'm gonna keep being pulley and have fun with partners. And then ask me, like we went to dinner, I did everything they asked me. I will say, they don't know this, but I was a bit disappointed because they literally just took my word and did it. And we just such a girl thing to do and be annoyed at it. I was like, I wish they just were innovative. Like yes, I said, take me out to dinner. But I didn't mean literally taking me out to dinner. How would you have made that about you? Like how would you have made it about us? Like there was so many other ways. Like you could have been like, I want to ask you to be my girlfriend and you just taking my word for like, if I told my ex like, I want flowers, they're gonna send me flowers every day for the rest of my life, that's it. Like if I told them I want letters, they're gonna send me letters that I always wanted. Maybe this is just me being extra. I always wanted the intention. Like if I want letters, maybe do it or surprise me once in a while or do it from a different perspective or do it in a different method. Or like, you know what I mean? Like make it fun for us so we enjoy it. The intention is there. I think it's also the know how to. Yeah. That is a girl thing. I'm the same way. But like in reverse, like when is my situation? I'm like sometimes I just, my brain is not thinking like that. Your brain isn't. And then I have to like learn how to navigate it. How do I make my brain think about like adding those extra things? Yeah. Well, I got this question. When was the last time someone told you they loved you? Today. Oh, today, same. So we're talking about Valentine's Day and we're talking about like relationships at the same time. Do you think you need to be in a relationship to be someone's Valentine's? What does that look like? It wasn't to put that, that chemistry. Yeah, cause the, so like, now I'm thinking about it. Like do you need to be in a relationship to be someone's Valentine's Day? Because I think was the difference between wanting a relationship versus wanting something that looks like a perfect relationship. What does that even mean, Donald? Yeah, like wanting a relationship. Like you really want to be a relationship or you want to be in a relationship in that relationship. Perfect. I don't know what that looks like, right? For me, it's like when I become a relationship, I don't gauge it's based off of anything else. I don't know what that relationship is. Cause I've never actually been in someone else's relationship. Yeah. So I came like tell. Yeah. It's like, because for me, the example if you're also like, you, the oldest things that you've been talking about today is like what? Yeah, what I want about what the person wants. Yeah. And like how does that meet in like that relationship? Cause like, if you're going with like, okay, I have all these things and this are kind of like the things I need to feel. And the person is not meeting it. There's always a like satisfaction that you would have with like, how can that relationship be exists where like both of you can kind of like, because I think you both end up like learning and learning and learning to the point you're like five years in, right? It's like now it's like a version of, I close that I do what you want. But like what happens in next 10 years, next 20 years, if you're actually trying to do life with this person versus like, I don't think maybe no society like version of a relationship or just like you're a professional. I think that's why I think relationships are so personal. And of course it makes sense to feel that way. But in the age of social media, I think people forget. Like social media relationships are very different. Like people always tell me, or maybe because of the podcast, I've been very vocal about relationships and sex and love and stuff. And it's hard to do it when I still want to maintain my privacy. Because like I think your relationship is so personal that the interrelationships alone, and I don't even mean this for like just romantic relationships. I even mean this for friendships too. Like you guys, you see me and Donald's dynamic as friends, but I promise you there's so much to our relationships that I would never come on camera. Because that's just who we are. Like I protect personal relationships because opinions of other people always mess up relationships no matter what type. Cause like me and my mom's relationship was messed up because of her relationships and people talking and yapping in her ear. Me and my brother's relationship with me and friends in the past, like you've all heard drama when this friend groups and this friend group is talking about this person like outside opinions always tend to mess up relationships just because it's just the way of the game. So I'm very, very protective of like what is public perception of a relationship? Like what does it look like? And of course like yeah, if I do end up and find like the love of my life which I think I already have and I'm happy in whatever where if I do like have someone like die my life I would keep them so close to my chest. Like I want to be able to talk with them. So we're like, it's still like known that oh yeah, Sophie is in love. Like I would say very clearly, like I am in love. I love somebody. I am very happy. I'm content. While at the same time, I don't want you to know anything else past that because it's such a personal thing. And especially because Valentine's Day for a lot of people is comparison politics. Like it's comparison gamer. I know people who get physically ill from the idea of like waking up on Valentine's Day and feeling single and feeling like they didn't get the bed of roses or the flowers or like relationship issues. Like I see a lot of especially young women feel that way. And I think this is the time when the podcast will be like it is totally okay to feel sad about not feeling loved on a day of love. But also love comes in so many different ways and facets and it's okay to also show yourself love on that day too. Like I'm huge on like self love. Like I want you to go out there if you don't have romantic love in a partner of some sort go out there and celebrate yourself. Like somebody that comes to take care of you. The day before Valentine's. A girl Valentine's. That's for like single people, right? No, that's for girls. Okay. It's true. I don't know what that's for. No, it's like Valentine's Day for girls. Like this girl, like not single girl. Like you could just be like you and your girls just wanting to treat each other. And I think it came around from like the idea of like girls just wanting to feel companionship. That was it. No, because I feel like men don't celebrate love. Guys, I wish they did though. I feel like more men need love in their lives. She's a part of love me. You need to celebrate my entire life. Please, Valentine's is great. Valentine's. Valentine's? You write about boys. I wish for men. Oh, because I keep going. Girl. Girl, I'm about. What's the men's version of girl? Girl, guy. Guy in times. Okay, don't know. She's such a girl. Yeah. He's such a girl. He's such a girl. I think it's just a guy. Okay, the point is guys, Valentine's is a day of love. So also feel free to celebrate yourself and don't compare yourself. You don't know these relationships. I promise you like, you know, I always say you don't know the relationships because you always see when they're celebrating love of Valentine's day, but when is the divorce or when is the problem in the relationship? Oh, please respect our privacy at this time. Why? What is this? Who's privacy? He's coming online talking about their break. Well, I get it because I'm such a social media person. Like, I can't imagine I ever had a public. No, I mean, like if I had a public relationship and then I had to come out on public and say, we broke up and like, I don't, because you feel like you're already going through the emotions. It's hard to share. Like the whole bachelor thing where the man like, broke up with her and then he wrote this God is good. I mean, we are responsible for this time, sir. No, I understand that part. If you like a public relationship, I get that part. He's the private people. What do you mean? The people that is their first post on TikTok. You know, the crazy time right? I saw some girls post to the TikTok. And she's talking about like how she broke up. When I visited videos playing, it was a stitch. It was another girl. So there's a lot of girl and her account is summarizing the story times of other people. I love, I love how I said that. It makes my life so easy. It's a this girl like a friend video on TikTok. She breaks up with her boyfriend. That's what I was like. Let me tell you. She was too long. Let me tell you what's this in the minute and a half. Yeah. It makes you like, you know what? Like, don't feel bad. It's not your fault. I'm okay. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I don't know. I'm excited for, I'm excited for like love this year, especially for the girls. Like, I've always been pretty self-love. So it's, I want people to spend Valentine's not feeling sad about like not having romantic love in a way. Like, even me saying, oh, I'm in love right now. Like, if I don't get any Valentine's, I'm still going to do something on Valentine's Day. Knowing me, I'll probably get myself flowers and like, candles and watch TV and do a self-care day. And I did actually send Donald A. Texan out of office in Valentine's Day. Like, go treat your girl. I'm going to treat myself. Like, I am very much like, even without Valentine's Day, I like to have, because the day of love, like, I want to celebrate that and celebrate me too. What does it say about me if I'm laying down and this Valentine's Day, I'm a, I'm a friend of mine. I'm a song to my friend. Put down, yeah. Yeah. Okay. And my girlfriend like, they didn't ask me nothing. I don't feel bad about it though. Like, I don't care if it's like, and that's okay. I feel like there are people who are like that who don't care about, like, stuff like that. Anyways, but I also feel like there are people who do. Like, it doesn't hurt. Like, you, you, you also care about feeling good. Like, it doesn't matter what date is. Like, if she comes home one day and brings you a watch or a new shades, like, running shoes. Like, something that makes you feel like, oh, you listen to me, you got me this. You would feel cared for. The whole point of Valentine's Day is to hopefully have an excuse now to actually show the person you care about, that you care about them. Like, I don't think it needs to be this competition online of who's gets in the biggest roses. Like, I know like the Kardashians always do like the 50 million roses in their houses. Oh, you see the post of like, matching pajamas and Valentine's Day or matching outfits? Like, yes, that's cute. But like, what works for you guys? You know what I mean? And I think it's, it's not competition. Just show someone you love that you love them. Like the money bouquets that I wish someone would buy me money bouquets. We're someone, give me money bouquets. I just stay my rent. Pay my fucking rent. Okay, let's not even get there. But yeah, that's pretty much it. I feel like we did this thing or we're on the topic of like, relationship and comparison, situationships. Do you think in a situation ship, the person is obligated to be your Valentine's? That's a good question. Ooh, I think no. No. I think no. Okay, why? Because it depends. Like, these situations are very broad. Oh, yes, that's true. Have you ever been in a situation ship? A several. Why did I have a spot? I thought I'd know the answer was several. And like, I'm the king of situationships. Okay. Sure, that's the thing. I think it's the last time we've been like, going in love with the feelings and just like, you want to need the perfect storyline. When you move like that. You always end up in like, getting to like, I'm just like, let me get here. Yeah. Wait, just because I'm like, who I am. Okay. What is a situation ship then? Explain this to me. Because like, I want to understand a situation ship from your perspective. And my brothers are so interested. Tell me. Okay. So my perspective of a situation ship is, you meet a girl, okay? We're talking. Okay. Friends, casual, just like we're chatting, nothing intense, nothing serious, right? All of a sudden, is there sex involved? Probably. Possibly. For all of a sudden, bridge just starts blowing. That's the right. Right? And as bridge is blowing, things are just happening. Okay. And it's like, two weeks, it's three weeks, it's four weeks. It's months on months. Are there feelings involved? There are feelings. Obviously, there's a connection. So like, there are feelings. Are there like, I like you, you like me? No. Okay. That conversation hasn't happened. It's not happening. Because I think he says, I like you. That's the complicated thing. That's the complicated thing. That's the complicated thing. To me, a situation is like, it's a situation of a number. We don't know what it is. It's a situation of a room. They're sitting down. They're not sure. They're contemplating. They're figuring it out. It's just occurring. It's happening. Okay. Right? And then like, two weeks, two months out of the problem with situations, is because of the lack of conversations, there's someone in the data that is always trying to like, figure out what it is. Yes. And it's trying to stretch out, right? And that's where it starts getting a lot. It's like, you're not switching. In February 14th, and what's expected, it's going to chop across the screen. Yeah. Last, last, last. That's my version. Do you think there's a difference between a situation and a Friends of Benefits relationship? Yes. Explain. I think Friends of Benefits is like, it's clear. It's clear. It's like, what friends? Do you think Friends of Benefits have conversations and say, we are Friends of Benefits? Yes. Mmm. Interesting. Yeah. Okay. Some people might be like, I don't know if I'd be in Friends of Benefits, because I've had Friends of Benefits before where it was like, it was very clear. Oh, yeah. Right. Yeah. I've also been in situations where it's like, it was not clear. Okay. What makes people get into these kind of relationships? I think it's two things. Okay. I think humans, one, humans are inherently bad. We're bad, right? So we lack nonsense. Right? Okay, okay. One. That's one. I think second, there's some people that they genuinely just, because I have this thing that goes my head like, can you, actually, if you're single, can you be, do you have one so many? Right? Is there only one person who are you ever feel connected to? Mm-hmm. At the color points in time, maybe. Throughout the course of your life, probably not. Now, how you move through all those things, I think people find themselves in precarious situations. Oh, damn. I just see it's not clear. In situations that just like, it's kind of like, yo, okay. Well, you know, like, I think people get sort of certain situations like, like, this is fun and I enjoy it. My name is probably not going to lead to anything. So it's kind of like, am I a bad person? Or am I not a bad person? Yeah. Because the intention of going to was all bad. I don't think essentially you're bad at good. Mm-hmm, that's what I was waiting for you to say. I think friends of benefits and situationships are always, like, they always are from the perspective of someone being selfish, right? Because the act of love is selfless. You know, I mean, like, if you truly love someone, you're fully in it, it's like, you're truly letting yourself go because of how much you love the person. When you're not in a clear relationship in that way, then it is selfish. Because for the most part, in any of those situations, what usually without communication, one person is getting the shorter end of the stick. Right, true. You're also choosing to stay, don't get me wrong. But for the most part, in a situation shape or in a friends of benefit situation, one person is always like, oh, I caught feelings, oh, oh, I don't this. I know it's funny. I was always the person, and I'm very proud of this to beat my chance to it. I have never been the person to catch feelings. I have never, like, once I am clear on the situation, you will not catch me slipping. And it used to make me feel so proud when, like, I'll be in a situation or a friends of benefit situation. And then the person's like, I caught feelings, I'd be like, we didn't discuss this. And I used to remember that, usually, when the dynamic is like a male and a female person, usually, guys are always like, oh, I don't want anything serious and they expect the woman to catch feelings. Or even vice versa, it's usually just like, the woman catches the feelings. I've been very clear. And when you go into that situation and the woman doesn't catch feelings and the man is like, ah, now they are attracted to you more. And those are the ones that are since from different. It was when I was like, how aren't you catching feelings? I want to now catch feelings because you clearly aren't really interested in me and I want you to be interested in me. So the idea of like, oh, because I can't get you now, I want you to. There's always something I always want people to watch out for. Either ways, I'm very curious. I always say, like, for situations, they always are complicated and unnecessary, especially because of the communication factor. Like, if you're communicating with someone, it shouldn't be a question, whether or not you're the valentine. So whether or not they are going to be your girlfriend or whether or not you guys are going to be a thing because you're communicating you're very clear on what the expectation is. So what do you think about people who are with someone, friends with benefit, clear? Yeah. But there's always that side who is like, hey, I really like you, I want to be in a relationship. What do you think the right action should be? I don't know, because I feel like patience. Like, on who side? On whoever is ready and whoever isn't. No, but their friends benefit. Yeah, but like, that's the way it's patience, right? Because like, in many ways, I think, because again, love is selfless, not selfish. And I think that's how I've always approached love. I never want to tell, like, of course, match energy is everything. Like, I want to be so focused on love, that's energy. Like, I want, yeah, like, I feel like that's when love is the best. Like, when you both are matching energy, like, it's easy. Like, I love you, you love me. I want to be with, together, I want you to be my girlfriend. I want you to be like, done. Like, all of this just works. I think the complication always comes when it's like, one person is ready and the other person isn't. And I always say, you choose to stay or go because love is selfless, not selfish, right? Because you're not ready, doesn't mean, my love goes away, right? However, your communication decides how I move. Does that make sense? So like, that's why I always, like, I'm very careful about relationships and conversations, especially with people. Because I know, we talked about it earlier. I know how much I love and how much love I have to give. And I know sometimes that can be overwhelming in a lot. It's easy to just be like, if you're not ready, are you ever going to be ready? If you're not, then let me know. And then I have to work on falling out of love, right? Because that's also a thing. I always like, when I hear people talk about like, oh, I said I liked them and they didn't like me. So like, I let it go. I'm like, I don't know how you guys do that. Because like, if I love you, I love you. Like, there's no going back from there. Like, I just have to learn to fall out of you or learn to live without you until I'm out of the love. And like, I find someone else who, you know, to what you think of other person should do in that scenario. Because I've been in like a couple of, this is a couple of stories. I've been a couple of scenarios like that where on my end, person was telling me that they loved me, right? And I kept on saying, no, no, no, no. But my dumbass. And love after? My dumb, no, my dumbass was still there. I was still like entertaining it because to me, I'm like, oh, that communication is happening. Okay, so I think people like you, at that moment, know right now, are very selfish. Right. Because in many ways, you're just simply eating your cake and having it. Because you're not thinking about like the person. Yes. But it's also like, it's hard to withdraw though. Because it's like, that's just selfish. No, no, yeah, yeah, it is. Was I eating ice cream? But here's, okay. Here's the thing. To the, right? To the, okay, we get it. We like female audience that we have. I love you guys. Just say it. I'm being more, I'm trying to, you know, this will find me helpful. You guys are dating and stuff. Speak about it, that's okay. Okay, what I'm trying to say is, in that particular situation, and I noticed that you're talking about too. Why I see you as selfish because long term, you knew it wasn't gonna work out, but you still stayed. It wasn't a matter of not right now. It was a matter of never. Okay, so if it's the, the situation that you think I'm talking about, I don't think he was never. I don't think it was never. You're like, yeah. I don't think it was never. I think, for me, one person was older. That's kind of weird. We're talking about it. See, you didn't, yeah. Yeah. I don't think it was never. Older. Yeah, we're older. Oh, right? We'll discuss this later. I think it's older, right? Yeah, the person was older. Oh, how much? Okay. It's like here. It's not in the beginning. It's not in the beginning. I was like, what the fuck? No, it's the crazy thing. I think like it's a matter of, I wasn't sure, right? It's like, I kept looking at the person. I'm like, I don't know if... If you're not sure then no. That's selfish. In that situation, the person was also like, you know, it's like, I haven't tried to, because I think in this situation, oh my god, this is due quarantine. So like, there was such a moment to like, I was trapped. I genuinely was trapped. Like, I couldn't leave. Okay. Right? And this person was like, hypersexual. Like, hypersexual is what they were calling us. So like, I'm looking at this there and I'm like, I want to get out of this. Yeah. Because on the normal day, I would just like, go straight. So you're enjoying the sex? You're like, rockhead. No, because you started running because of that. The problem with sex is that it's probably sex is. Why won't you go into it in the beginning of the thing? No. During the morning. No. Just army. See, there's a whole, honestly, we do a whole episode. I can't believe this is coming out. See, in any of these, if you clip this and you put this in your list and then this is, this is for the OG. Just putting it out there. There's a lot of enjoyment happening, right? I know what you're saying. And then why would I start running? This is why I'm running the marathon. Anyway. Basically, we would all just try to say really loudly. Is that the man didn't want to leave because he was having fun having sex and having a good time. Again, selfie. I didn't want to leave. Selfish. Because I couldn't. But you also stuck there. But then when you could, you left. Yes. And I missed it. And it's exactly. So you're a terrible man. But my ghost thing was after me being overpowered. It's too much sex. Oh my god. I don't even know where this is going. But the point is, I still think that's unfortunate. I think communication could have been had. You just not. Or did I suck it? You just, yeah. And that's my biggest thing. I'm big on communication. Like, I think so many things could be avoided in life with communication. Like Valentine's Day, for example, right. Like if you're someone like me who's like waiting for someone to, I know right now, I can avoid all this by saying, are we doing Valentine's Day? Right. And whatever answer I get helps me. So why don't we do that? Because you're the person you go big on that. I feel like I learn how to communicate. Because I, for the first time in my life, I want to be just a girl. I want to be. Like I want to feel. And that comes with the disappointment of you not having it. Yes. Wait. I don't know. I feel about that. I think so. It's not a nice thing to say, but like it does. It's not, right? Because I feel like I, I control a lot of things in my life. I control a lot of things. And you know that. And with this person, I don't want to have to. Like with anyone in my life honestly, I don't want to have to. I think I'm in the space of my life where like, I generally want to enjoy having someone treat me well and show me care without me asking. And also, I am very impatient. And every time I'm like, maybe I want flowers or maybe I want dinner, or maybe I want this, I always get like, why did you just wait, I was going to do it? So now I'm waiting. This is me, for actively. Because you know, it's itching. Like my body's, like I'm physically in pain for just not being like, baby, are we doing anything wrong? I think this is how we get into problems. I know, I know, I know, I know, this is a recipe for disaster. We're going to find out if Sophie gets a Valentine's Day present. Your faith? Do you think so? Because I know they're watching this. I think so. Yeah. I mean, like if it happens now, when the episode like, this will be two days before Valentine's. Yes. They're not so successful. No, I know someone, I don't want to post. I don't, like I, I wish. Because what if like, you come up with this thing on that 13 and then we jinx it? Yes, I don't know. I'm mad because I'm like, but this person is very like, I don't think they shift their mind. And I know like if they were not going to do anything, they're not going to do anything. But I'm also so upset that this is coming out literally two days before Valentine's Day. But I don't know. I don't know if they're going to do anything. We didn't see. Because they've not asked me either. And I want them to ask me. But I also think that my want to surprise me and do something. And I'm not sure. And so if you're going to have a Valentine's this year, we don't know. Yeah, I'm so nervous about figuring out if I'm going to have a Valentine's. I want to be asked though. I want someone to ask me to be their Valentine's. The DMs are always open. The comments are always open. Show me all the love. Okay. Why are you so quiet? You just want so quiet. I'm dreading and I'm looking like regretting the things I just said. Yeah, I could tell. It's, it has to get out there. Because we're still practicing, you guys. How to like, we're 10% male audience. Sometimes we go through it too. So I said I'm very emotional. Which is, you are very emotional. That's crazy though. You are very emotional. I feel like our dynamic is interesting. I don't, again, someone told me this today. I talked a lot to people. But it's always so much that it is. I had a conversation with them and they're all like, I promise you, this is not everybody I've since did different conversations. But someone said that there's no podcast like my podcast and they meant it. Like they're like, the way you guys talk isn't scripted. It's very raw, it's very honest. It's just two friends in their actual apartment, just yapping away. And I feel like every time as we get more comfortable with the podcast, you can tell we're getting more comfortable with sharing. And then that's why I wanted to lie out in the first place. Like I want to just share. But for people who just like, first of all be entertained, but also just to have fun with it. Like I think it's fun to hear your thought process because you're a crackhead. And like my thought process, because again, I'm a crackhead too. Like I feel like it's just, it's entertaining. If we can entertain the masses, like let's go fucking ahead. It's scary because like, I think people want to save this and like, I hope you guys know like, where's, I'll have to screw them like all right. Like, where's, no, no, no, I don't think we're crazy. We might be. We are crazy. I was just trying to lie. We're just on crazy. We're also very normal. No, we're not. You know, I think normal, though. No, no. Because I'm talking to you. No, no, no, no, no, no. You're not, you're anything from you're anything. The reason why I think I'm normal is like, I don't like to think. I don't think normal people think they're normal. I don't think they even think they should be normal. I just think they are normal. I think if you have to tell yourself, I'm normal, you're normal. I should. You should. I think you're reminding yourself to try to keep yourself sane when you're very much so normal. And that's okay. I guess it's okay to just be who you are. You know what I mean? Yeah. Okay, so you guys, we did voicemails on the podcast Instagram. If you're not following the Instagram TikTok, please follow. But we have voicemails now, what you guys can call in. And just ask us questions or talk to us. And I have to live react to this. So I have not heard this voicemail. Donald has, and he's gonna play for me. And this is our first ever voicemail. And I might do loud the podcast with Sophie, aka the Audity and my co-host Donald. We are going to play our first voicemail. And I might do loud the podcast. And go. Hey, Sophie, Sophie, and Donald. Donald, Donald. Dwayne, I'm an accent. Ah! Hold and Sophie, Sophie. Um, and Sophie, Sophie. And Sophie, Sophie, oh my god. So we, we, we, we, we, we. I call myself Sophie, Sophie. Wait, it's like we so happy. I'm going to cry. I'm really in full store right now, you guys. This is like my baby. Yeah, okay. Oh, okay. Let's go to the chase and just ask the question. I feel like you would have talked about this question before, for like, I'm just going to shoot. I'm just going to shoot regardless. But yeah, what's like your opinion on your thoughts, basically, of like, decent of fun? Have you ever, have you ever thought about it? Um, have you done it? Have you ever decided to find on like a follower of yours? If you have, how do that go? And if you haven't, what you think about the idea of actually getting into friends, hangover, man, and sort of like your romantic relationship with a follower, you know, just drop the tea, give us, give us the tea. Yeah. And I wouldn't hear your opinion from like both sides. That is during the notes. So what does the note, um, I love how they say the notes. I'm gonna say, I'm then, what do you think about it? And if you have, drop the tea, drop the tea. Anyway, see ya. Bye. I love you. I love you too. Wait, what's their name? Do you know? Hello, friend. Oh my god, high pot fam. Wait. I can find it. Can you find it? Oh my god. Oh my god. It's like finding their name. Oh my god. Oh my god. Ah! Okay. The notes you have to start. Cause I wanted to know. Is that how to start? Yeah. Cause I want to end with it. Oh my god. Our first, our first, you guys, I need you to send me voicemails. You can go to the description down below. So our website at mytoolow.com to put a voicemail. You can ask any questions you can just say hi. And then we're gonna play it right here on the podcast. And we're just gonna talk. And I think that's so sweet. And I just wanna hear your thoughts and stuff. And this is my entire day. It's a anonymous guy. So like, if you wanna put your name and say your name, whatever you're doing the voicemail, so we see it. Okay, Donald, Abu, would you ever date a fan if you were single? See now. You will, Donald. It depends on how, it depends on what the fan is. If you were single, you would. If you had the amount of attention you're getting right now as a hoe and single, you would be in those DMs responding really well. Yeah, cause like, and you would ever fan. Especially very New York. You would do it for the plot. And also like when people kiss your ass, so you would like to be worshiped like that. Okay, that's really right. That's so accurate. Wait, wait, wait, wait. How do I know their fan? Yes, you would know. They would be like, I have a huge fan of you or something like that. I don't know them. They will. I think you would do it for the plot. I don't know. Okay. You know why? Cause like, okay, I would, it cannot be my city. Okay, I can see that. It can't be my city. I can see that, I can see that. You can, you can't know where, if you can, like, whatever, you just like, it would just be fine. It would match. Let's go home. Oh wait, matches. Okay, that's such a man thing to say. I never do that on my podcast ever again. Never is a way match, Donald. But that's the, you can see it way match too. No, but no. I'm so like, I'm so masculine. Do you like home match? You don't, you don't. I'm like, that's such a man thing. What was the woman version? I don't know. I think about that. If you know a woman's version of a way match in home matches, let me know in the comments. We know what I mean, right? Yeah, it just was very guy. That's like a guy thing to say to your guy. I did go play with you in the match. I can see that. I can hear that clearly from, like, for you around me. Man, you say it's not a content. You definitely mentioned it in that context. It's good. Why would we fight it? Okay. I have never messed with a fan. I have no, I really haven't. No, I've never messed with a fan. I typically don't respond to DMs of, like, attraction. And usually, if I'm talking to someone, it's usually someone who a friend of a friend knows. I've always been like that from the beginning. Like, I'm very like, a friend introduces me to someone. So, like, if anything ever went wrong, I know who to blame. And, like, I have somebody who's, like, the person who's doing, like, connection. So, I've never done a fan. I have been a fan who's fucked people who I was fans of, for sure. I have been that fan. Okay, that's a different perspective. Yes. So, if I want to give you guys some time, I'll give you any names or anything like that. However, I have been a fan who's been, like, the one who's gone and done the due. I've never been, I've never had my fan do the due to me. Essentially, I don't think I would date a fan now. However, I definitely would date someone who was a fan of my work, for sure. I think I would like that. Like, I just don't, I think I would want them to be, like, I think, I've always wanted to date someone who was like a nine to five or, like, someone who didn't care about social media, who just was out there and who was, like, not into it at all, huh? You think that would work? I've done that. I feel like that's what I'm doing right now, like, because yeah, the person I'm with now is, like, definitely not into social media at all. Like, and I like that. Like, I like the privacy, the intimacy. Like, I don't want someone on social media at all. Like, it's not my thing. Like, I can't have, you can't have two people fighting. No, it's just not my thing. So I don't think I would ever date a fan or someone who was being popular because I've been the fan and I know how that feels and vice versa. So like, no, if I, if like, my person is always going to be a nine to five or, or somebody who's like, quiet, chill, no social media presence, doesn't like posting photos, none of that stuff, like, very private. Yeah, so. I've been the fan too. Yeah. But I also love, I think it's because I love being taken care of. No, I do. Especially, no, no, no. As soon as you went out, we're not single, right? It's like, I would have this, like, big popular rich women. Like, you, you do seem like a, like, a sugar boy. A sugar baby. I wouldn't go sugar boys, it's just like, you know. Yeah. There's a lot to say. If Mama was, I'm like, oh my God, bro. Say we were tested the camera because that's what I'm shit you would say. That's true, though. Like, if Mama were some girls. I once, I once had a whole thing with some women that she was probably at 42. How old were you? 19, and this is problematic. Yeah. That's cradle rubbing, don't know. You were a child. But like, if they take you to the club, they're popping the bottles. It's so fun. Yeah, it's so fun. No, it's not. Am I encouraging that? Like, I forgot. I'm so sad. Yeah, no, I feel that. Oh, but that was a good, that was a good, it was a good one. Oh my God, I can't wait to like get more, like, questions or confessions and stuff like that. Whenever we have like problems and stuff, do we have anything else before we close out the podcast for today? I guess not. Why are you smiling, Charles? Do you feel like we were very loud and stuff, so? When do you want to get married? When do you want to get married? Are you crazy? Why is the random question you asked me where we're about to close out? No, do you think you ever get married? I would get married to the person I am with right now. Ooh. Yes, 100%. Ooh. With that person until the end of their, like, that is my person. I swear to God. You know, I'm still coming into terms with this new development. You were very surprised that I was actually in love. I don't know, I was like, okay. Like, okay. Okay. And like, as someone who is like, similar to you. Yeah. Even I didn't understand my own situation. Exactly. So I guess it's, I guess it's, I kind of never understood your situation either. I feel like we're both like that way. But also, we know what works for us. Right. I will say that if it doesn't work out or like something ever happened in my relationship, whatever this, it may be, I'm also going to be okay. I feel the same way. And to me, I think he makes me stronger and I think he makes relations like, I'm giving it my all. Well, if it doesn't work, I'll be all right. Yeah. I'll be disappointed. Very disappointed. But it'll be okay. Like, I can survive. Yeah, I feel like that's how it should be though. Yeah. I think love is falling in love with what you both can create together. And I feel like you're creating a really beautiful life with your partner. And that is what I think I am wanting to add. You see what I always, whenever I talk about falling in love or romantic love, I never say what I'm missing. Cause it's never missed for me. Like, I am very whole. It's always an addition. If I am inviting someone into my life, I am hoping they are adding to me as well as I am adding to them. Love should never be that you're lacking. You should always be that you're wanting more of something or you're adding something to you. You feel the same about friendships and relationships and everything, like time is crazy. But every time I expect relationships to always be an addition. And my mother's love should not be like, I'm missing my mother's love. It's like, I want or I'm needing or I'm wanting that addition. Like, because then it takes the power away from them. It makes you just a you thing. Like, oh, it's sad if I don't get this, but I am still whole regardless. You know what I mean? So even like with marriage and everything like that, like, yeah, I'm like, I love you. I want you. Like you're my person. I want to like build a life with you. If that doesn't work out, that is a dream that's existing outside of the both of us. And I can put that dream in the closet and just keep it there. So that's what good dream didn't work. It didn't work. I can dream again with someone else. Like ideally you want that so many. Like right now I look at myself and like, is it possible to like feel this way about someone else? Is it possible? But then I don't know, right? Like, because like you've built a life for five years or someone, like starting over is always the scariest thing for people. What I think you can do it again. You think you can do it again? I don't think so. I think love is a risk. I think it's always opportunity. I don't think I will let myself. I think I'm capable. I don't think I will let myself because I feel like, yeah. I think I would. Like I think after five years. I would always be seeking. I would always be seeking love. Like it would be hard though. Yeah, no for sure. This is not like. Let me ask you a question. It comes to the settle thing that you talked about. Like I will never settle. No, like if I was so five years and like, like I broke up. Yeah. I'm sure I will connect with another person because I'll put myself in this situation. It's like, I would want to give it another like five, six years because I'm not, I want to give it 10. Because I want to give it 10 times to show it. Yes, that's the man thing I think. I don't want to make that gender, but I feel like that's a man thing. Versus like a needs, well, personally, like an oddity, Sophie thing. It's more like, I'm just always going to want the experience, right? And I think that's what, what scares a lot of people when they come to approach me? It's like, I think it could sniff out the fact that like, I'm an experienced type of girl. Like, oh, is she just saying that for the experience? Or is she actually like meaning it? And it takes a lot of people get scared of like, when is she going to get bored? When is she going to get moved on? And I'm like, yeah, but that's love. That's the risk you should be willing to take. Like, of course, like choice, love is a fucking choice. Like choosing to love someone every day is a choice. And like the moment you stop choosing the person is when things don't work out. So even when you talk about Valentine's Day and like love, when you don't choose to show the person you care about, that you care about them on the day that's about love, you're choosing to tell them you don't love them. And even if you're like, I don't think that's the case, that it is just a day, it's a day that matters to them. So what would it take for you to just simply show them like you care about them? You know what I mean? Like, interesting. All right, guys, we are so done with this conversation. This is a good episode. It's very good. We love you very, very much over here on My Too Loud. I can't wait to get some more of your voice mills. This is a really fun episode. This is a very intimate episode where we do loud, let us know in the comments. We love you down as always. It's Sophie, aka The On的 V, and it's Donald too. Bye, guys. Love you. Happy Valentine's Day. Oh my god, happy love day. Let us know what you end up doing if you're listening to this on Valentine's Day. Happy Valentine's. Happy Valentine's, too.